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– Did you work in the circus before, sir?
– I am working there now! Together with you! I can imagine what is happening on our ship now in “places that are not as remote as they are secluded”!
– The Doppel-Fackelmann system should have prevented leaks, sir!
– You know, Hans, there’s one thing in the Universe that I don’t have full confidence in, and that’s exactly the Doppel-Fackelmann system. So, check it out anyway! In the name of the System!
– Serving the System, sir!
– Sure, you are, but put on a protective suit first. It is always better to serve the System in a protective suit than without it.
Rating
– Sir, our rating has been lowered!
– It has? Those shysters! For what?
– We did not let the White Senators’ mission pass ahead of us into the previous window of opportunity!
– The mission of the Wight Senators?
– I said White, sir!
– It’s almost the same, Hans, you shouldn’t have rushed there.
– But it was your order, sir!
– You shouldn’t have rushed there following my order, Hans…
– Yes, sir!
– It’s a nuisance, Hans! What is our rating now?
– The penultimate, sir!
– I’m impressed you know this word, Hans. So below us there are only automatic stations and scavengers?
– Yes, sir!
– Can you meddle it one step up with your brain and pliers?
– No, access is denied as to a navigator of the mission with a low rating.
– And when might our penalty be lifted, Hans?
– I dare not know, sir, I’m afraid not before the end of the mission, sir!
– This is a big Fuggy nuisance, Hans! We can be queuing for weeks; the place is cramped!
– Yes, sir! Shall we inform the base that we are carrying a short-lived cargo?
– As if it could help!
– But our cargo may fall into decay, sir!
– Anything but that Hans! Or as straight as die we will be moved from the penultimate rating to the ultimate, that is, the last one! Who needs rotten stuff? In other words, junk! This is a much more serious matter, Hans…
– Do you really mean it, sir?
– Yes, Hans, this is a crucial matter!
– I’m close to despair, we’re in a hopeless scrape, sir!
– Not yet, don’t panic, Hans! Pull your socks up and urgently start texting through a closed channel…
– Sorry, sir, the closed channel is closed for us!
– Then on an open channel, it’s even better… It will open their eyes! The wider – the better. Transmit this “code word TWOPENGUINS” three times in a row?
– Two penguins, sir?
– No space, capital letters and with the words “code word” and our number!
– Done, sir!
– Look at the rating!
– It’s growing sir, it’s higher than at the start of the mission. It is higher than that of the senators! It’s incredible!
– Prepare to jump, we jump first!
– Warming up, sir! And what does this code word TWOPENGUINS really mean!
– I have no idea, Hans! This is something that is never taught at the Academy!
– If truth be told, never, sir!
– But it’s worked!
– Yes, sir!
– Hooray, Hans, except one thing, I still have to take the rap for both of us!
Passenger
– Sir!
– What have you got, Hans?
– This is from our passenger!
– We have no passenger, Hans, we dropped her off at the base two days ago.
– Yes, sir! She’s left something with us, sir!
– What exactly?
– Some object, a kind of mascot.
– Is it valuable?
– She says, it’s dear to her like her heirloom, but no, sir, it’s not valuable!
– Was her cabin cleaned?
– Yes, sir, automatically! The robot-cleaner has processed one part and expunged the other…
– If I take it right, her forgotten crap must be flying somewhere now.
– Disassembled into atoms, sir. As an ionized gas cloud.
– Send her a picture of some nebula. No, wait, I have a better idea. When do we jump?
– In 15 minutes, sir.
– To another galaxy?
– Yes, sir! Where else?
– The signal does not get there, does it?
– No, sir, we’ll not receive it until the next window…
– Good!
– Sir, I dare report…
– Go ahead, break the news!
– There is a small chance that this lady’s talisman is still somewhere here! The Janitor says he hasn’t processed it yet! He was being tested for compliance, sir.
– Hans, we will not rummage through the trash, it’s even worse than looking for a needle in a haystack.
– In a haystack, sir?
– Do you know why it’s so hard to find a needle in a haystack? Not because it’s so small, Hans, but because it’s so cheap! No one will bother looking for a needle there! Who needs to count needles! A diamond of the same weight will be searched and found for sure!
– A diamond, sir?
– Don’t you know what a diamond is?
– No, sir! Never heard of it!
– And have not seen one either?
– On my honor, I have not seen one, sir!
– But you know what a haystack, hay or a needle is?
– No, sir, I have no idea!
– That is, you haven’t got the slightest idea what I was talking about?
– No, sir!
– At least you are an honest man, Hans! Kudos for that!
– Kudos, sir?
– Ah, forget it! Warm up the engine, we are jumping in 10 minutes!
– Yes, sir! Clear for action one, sir!
Cat
– Hans, what’s up? You look pathetic!
– No, not at all, sir! Yes, you are right, I’m a little sad, sir!
– Are you? Why’s that?
– I can’t figure it myself, sir!
– Hans, you know there is a sure remedy for sadness!
– I know, sir, it is to learn a charter by heart! But this is an old-hat joke, sir! We used to be told so at the Academy.
– That’s right, Hans, but at the Academy weren’t you also taught that to be sad is the worst thing in the world?
– We were never sad at the Academy!
– Even in the Flight Safety classes?
– Especially in them, sir! We did this… Once…
– Now you do look cheerful again, Hans.
– Yes, a little. Maybe we should keep some pets, like a fish or a cat?
