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It had felt right until this moment when he’d laid everything out in front of her. He saw in her eyes the moment she thought she’d come up with an answer. She tipped her head to the side and gave him that smile he’d seen on her face in photographs a million times.
“What kind of shot?” she asked coyly.
“One where you don’t wear a fake smile,” he said.
Sure, he loved games, but not with her. Or at least not with her at this moment.
“I honestly don’t know what to say.” She released a breath. “I think it’s a bad idea to take this any further. Because like I already told you when I left your hotel room this morning, I’m dealing with some stuff. It’s not fair to get involved with anyone at this moment.”
He nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Fair enough.” He wanted to argue but he knew that he wasn’t going to change her mind. Not right now anyway.
“That’s it? I was expecting an argument or some passionate plea to give you a shot,” she said.
“Do I look like I have to beg a woman to be with me?” he asked. But that was pride making him stupid. He shouldn’t have said it and knew it the moment the words had left his mouth.
“No, you look like a guy who has too many women saying yes... I think I’ve had enough of games for today. Why don’t we call it a night?”
Damn. He should say something—apologize—but she’d slammed him hard in the ego and he wasn’t ready to let her know that. Doubted he ever truly would be.
“Good idea,” he said.
Carter left her kitchen and went to the hallway, where his clothes sat in a pile, and got dressed. He’d pushed too hard, he knew it, but could see no way to back out of this without admitting he was an ass.
He heard her in the hallway and looked up to see her hovering in the doorway. The expression on her face was unreadable, and he wondered if there was anything he could say. He wished he was better at interacting with people, would give up his ability to do a 360 for the chance to make this right.
“I— Thank you, for today,” she said quietly. “Thanks for the fun in the snow and...everything else. I needed it. You’ve helped me kick off this year with a great start.”
She was classy. He had to admit even when showing him the door, she did it in such a way that he almost didn’t mind. He had sensed from the first moment they’d met that there was something different about her and now he knew what it was.
She had a kind, beautiful heart.
Lindsey had that innate goodness that he’d never been able to find. Even when he wanted to be nice, it usually came off as self-serving. He’d tried, but around her it was easy to see that he would continue to fail.
“What can I say? It’s all a part of the Carter Shaw package.” He bent to tie his boots, and then straightened to face her.
“Don’t do that,” she said.
“Do what?”
“Make it sound like you don’t feel things like I do.” Their gazes met and held, and he could see a depth of emotion glimmering in her beautiful brown eyes.
“What makes you believe that I could?”
“I spent the day with you, Carter. I saw a side of you that few people ever do, and I’m so glad I did.” She reached up and gently squeezed his biceps. “I like you.”
But she was still kicking him out. “Gosh, thanks.”
“Stop it. You know what I mean. I had no idea that behind that big braggart and awesome talent was a man who could see past his own ego and help me try to conquer my fears. I really can’t thank you enough.”
His jaw flexed and he swallowed hard. That was nothing. He hated that he might be even the tiniest bit responsible for her not skiing anymore, and he didn’t want to think of the winter sports without her. For him the two things were inexorably tied together. So even his unselfish move of trying to get her back on skis had turned out to be for him.
“You’re welcome,” he said at last, because he really didn’t know what else to say. There was a part of him that knew if he was an eloquent man, maybe more like his old man, he’d come up with just the right sentiment to express.
But he wasn’t that guy.
He was a tattooed snowboarder who’d been searching all his life for the next big thrill. The next adrenaline-fueled high he could find. He’d never have guessed that he’d find it in this cool Nordic blond, Alpine Super G skier who always seemed to look right through him.
“Goodbye,” he said.
He turned, opened the door and forced himself to walk away without looking back. But he wanted to see if she watched him as he left. Wanted to know if he’d had an impact on her the way she had him. But was afraid to see the truth: that he might need her more than she wanted him.
* * *
LINDSEY STEPPED INTO the boardroom at the Lars Usten lodge with more than a little trepidation. It had been two weeks since she’d sent Carter away, and she wasn’t sure if he’d be at this meeting or not. She’d been back to that little snow mound three more times.
The first time she hadn’t been able to go down the hill on her sled. The second time she’d gotten mad, climbed to the top and stood there shaking until she’d forced herself to slide down. It had been hard, but she’d forced herself to do it three more times before going home, and then yesterday she’d gone and just did it. The fear was still there, but she was finding her strength again.
This weekend she hoped to get back on her skis and actually go down one of the easier runs in the Wasatch Range. But today she had to get through a corporate meeting.
She just didn’t like having to dress up and sit in a stuffy boardroom. The lodge itself was rustic and homey. First-class luxury. She loved the large patios that overlooked the picturesque mountain vistas and the pristine ski trails.
“You’re one of the first to arrive,” Elizabeth Anders said, coming over to give her a hug. “I’m glad. I have missed our breakfasts and was hoping you’d have time for a coffee before we get started.”
Her friend was the general manager of the lodge and had recently—as in on New Year’s Eve—married her best friend, Bradley. Lindsey had been one of the bridesmaids at the ceremony.
“I didn’t know exactly when you were getting back from your honeymoon today,” Lindsey said. “I’ve missed our breakfasts, too. Too much time alone with myself and my thoughts.”
“Like what?” Elizabeth asked as she led the way down the hall to where a coffee service was set up.
“Nothing. Just some crazy decisions I made on New Year’s Eve,” she said as she made herself a cup of coffee. No way was she going to elaborate on what had gone down with Carter. But it was nice to have her friend back, so maybe for a little while she didn’t have to keep thinking about it.
“How was your honeymoon?”
“Fab. The Lars Usten Resort in the Caribbean was really nice. And it was a change of pace to be a guest and not have to always be watching for things that might go wrong.”
Lindsey laughed. Elizabeth looked polished from head to toe, like someone who had everything all together. Even when she was going through the ups and downs of falling in love with Bradley she’d still done it with panache.
Something that Lindsey never felt she had.
“That’s great.”
“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked, her brow in concern. “You don’t seem yourself today.”
Lindsey nodded. “Just nervous about this meeting. I know what the event is supposed to be but I’ve never been on a committee before.”
“You’ll do fine. It’s nothing like skiing sixty miles per hour.”
Lindsey gave Elizabeth the smile she was sure her friend was looking for. But she knew that skiing wasn’t easy, and this meeting wouldn’t be, either. Of course, she could contribute and she’d do whatever she had to to make the charity ski event a success.
The event had been proposed by Carter and had taken a lot of the resort owners in the area by surprise. The last time he had proposed something it had been to allow snowboarders on the runs in the valley; something that had gone against the resort owners’ policies. He’d won them over, and now skiers and snowboarders were welcome on the mountain, but he hadn’t exactly endeared himself to the owners with that move.
So the charity event, which would bring world-class athletes and young kids interested in winter sports together, had initially caught the higher-ups off guard. Lindsey smiled to herself at the thought of how shocked the owners had been to see their old nemesis in a different light.
Not unlike the way she was. Carter had changed, and he’d sort of changed her. She missed having him around, but wouldn’t admit it to herself or to anyone else. She figured if she had a few restless nights plagued with dreams of making love on her kitchen table with Carter, that was the price she had to pay for peace of mind.
“Hello, ladies,” he said, walking up to her and Elizabeth. Seeming to appear from out of nowhere.
She took a sip of her coffee and burned her tongue. He looked good. Polished in that roguish way of his. Elizabeth and he were chatting, but all she could do was watch him and acknowledge to herself that her dream-induced fantasies fell far short of the real man. She missed him.
No denying that.
“Well, Linds, how’s the skiing going?” he asked after Elizabeth excused herself to greet some of the other committee members.
“Great,” she said. No use telling him she still hadn’t made it up the mountain. That was her personal struggle. “How long are you here for?”
“For the next six months.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Why that long?”
“This charity event is my number one priority right now,” he said. “And I told you I was going to get you back on skis. I can’t do that from California, now, can I?”
“I think you’ve done enough. Feel free to go back to Cali.”
He leaned in close to her and the spicy scent of his aftershave wrapped around her, reminding her of how strong the scent had been when she’d rested her head on his shoulder after making love.
“I promise you I haven’t done nearly enough.”
9 (#u15241939-5112-5a8a-81d2-1759ffb894ea)
CARTER SAT ACROSS from Lindsey in the meeting. He was excited for the event and when he’d originally come up with the idea had known it was going to be a hard sell. Truth was, he’d never really played up to the resort owners in Park City, Utah, and the surrounding valley. They had sort of always looked down on snowboarders, but he wasn’t Houston Shaw’s son for nothing, and had learned from his father that turning adversaries into business partners made for some interesting and profitable ventures.
But this wasn’t about profit. This was about bringing snowboarding and skiing to kids who couldn’t afford it otherwise. Giving them the chance to have what he’d always had. To be honest, he hadn’t realized how much of a financial struggle competing at the world-class level could be, since he’d had the benefit of his father’s money.
Lindsey understood that. She spoke eloquently on the fact that it wasn’t just inner-city kids or those at the lowest economic level who needed help, but also middle-class families who were getting by—as her family had when her talent had been spotted.
“I think we’re all on board now,” Lars Usten, the namesake and owner of the resort, said. “We just need to figure out what the event will look like.”
“I see it as a three-or four-day event,” Carter told them. “Starting on a Thursday with events for the kids who’ve maybe signed up through our program to have lessons.”
“What program?” Elizabeth asked. “Is this something new to the agenda?”
“Yes,” Carter said. He passed around some folders that outlined his idea. “Since we’re not doing the event until the fall, I propose we start getting local kids involved in training sessions now. I’d like to see each of your resorts offer up your facilities, and maybe we can have teams to compete against each other.”
Everyone had opened the folder and was skimming the contents. He had done a lot of work.
“Bradley Hunt of FreshSno is donating the gear for the kids, and Thunderbolt, my energy drink sponsor, will give the kids the clothing they need,” he said finally. “Ski pants, jackets and a T-shirt. All I really need now is your resorts and time on the slopes.”
“That’s great, but who’s going to teach the kids? We all have full-time jobs,” Lindsey reminded him. “Not everyone is a man of leisure like you.”
“Well, I’m going to teach snowboarding. It’s what I’m good at and, as you’ve pointed out, I do have the time. I’m sure there must be a few former world champs who wouldn’t mind teaching the next generation.”
“I didn’t say I minded,” Lindsey said, bristling at his insinuation. “Of course I’ll do it on my days off. These will just have to be needs based and when I’m not teaching the kids from the resort.”
“Good. So now we’ve got Alpine skiing and snowboarding,” Carter replied.
“I’ve got an idea,” Bradley said. “Watching you two square off... What if we put together two teams, captained by each of you, to raise funds? Anyone who follows winter sports knows that you are adversaries—the Ice Queen versus the Bad Boy.” He smiled broadly. “It’s classic and fun. We can have people from the committee and other resort staff members on the teams as well as the kids. What do you think?”
Carter liked it. It was an innovative idea and would give him a chance to spend more time with Lindsey. A legitimate reason that she wouldn’t be able to back out of. “Sure. I think it’s got some merit. Plus, it’s for charity. I want to see it be a success.”
Lindsey glared at him from across the table. He wasn’t sure what it was he was doing today, but he seemed to be getting on her nerves. Perfect. He wanted her to be aware of him and to be bothered by him. It seemed only fair, since she was bothering him.
He was here because of a cause that was dear to him. He’d seen a lot of talented kids over his years in the sport that’d had to quit because they couldn’t afford gear. That wasn’t right.
But then, as he stared back at Lindsey, a telltale smirk suddenly tugged at his lips. Okay, if he was being totally honest, his reasons for being here weren’t entirely altruistic. It was also because he’d wanted to see her again and this was the only way he’d been able to do it. She’d shut him out. He’d thought about calling, but he wasn’t going to keep chasing her. At least not in an obvious way.
“I want it to be a success, too. I’d be happy to captain a team,” Lindsey said, her fake smile firmly in place.
“Okay, then. How are we going to choose teams?” Elizabeth asked. “We have two representatives from all the resorts and other participants here, so we could do it that way. One from each?”
There was some discussion around the table of the different skills, but soon the teams were established and Carter thought he’d made out pretty well. Most of the owners and executives from the resorts were passionate skiers.
“We’ll need to come up with events. And they should be pretty standard but not risky,” Lindsey said.
“It should be fun, too. We want to bring new people to the sport and make it something the kids will want to do. In fact, maybe we can use our teams as mentors,” Carter suggested.
“That’s a great idea,” Lars said. “I’ll be in charge of the events for our competition. I think we should hold it in February to kick off our announcement for the fall event. Use it to encourage kids to sign up.”
There was agreement around the table. Lars asked each of them to jot down one or two ideas for events for the kickoff to be held in February. A meeting was set for the following week and everyone left the boardroom.
Carter gathered his papers and followed Lindsey down the hall and out onto the patio that led to the ski rental and lesson building.
“Wait up.”
“Sure,” she said, whirling around to face him. “Think of something else you wanted to challenge me on?”
“Not at all. I told you I wasn’t done with you,” he warned.
“I know that. I’m not done with you now, either.”
She wasn’t really angry with him. On the contrary, he could see worry and maybe a little bit of fear on her face. She couldn’t ski, and she’d just been put in charge of a ski team for a major public event.
Crap.
* * *
SHE HADN’T MEANT to talk to Carter. She’d meant to exit the lodge, get into her ski clothing and then... What? She had no real idea. Obviously she couldn’t lead a team down the slopes in February considering that just sledding down a little snow mound took all of her courage.
But she had to. Everything had changed thanks to this guy and his damned argumentative streak. She had a hunch that he’d originally started sparring with her in front of everyone as a sort of payback for the way she’d kicked him out of her place on New Year’s Day, and frankly, she hadn’t blamed him.
