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He strode out of her office without looking back, mainly because he didn’t want to seem as if he wanted to know how that kiss had affected her when it had shaken him to his core.
Carter knew he was playing a dangerous game with her. That he wanted something from her that she might give him, but he was trying to keep her from even knowing he wanted. He shook his head and thought of what a sap he was. He wanted to be more than friends and more than lovers, but had never in his life been successful at making any kind of relationship work.
Even his coaches had been short-term before they’d thrown their hands up and walked away. He just wasn’t good at making things last. Usually that didn’t bother him, but the thought of being short-term in Lindsey’s life simply wasn’t acceptable.
* * *
CARTER SENT HER a text telling her he’d meet her at the top of the toboggan run just after lunch. She had one more call to make, to the staff sergeant from Marietta, Montana, that Bradley had told her about.
Lane Scott was one of the men who had been part of the paraplegic ski squad. She’d heard he had recovered and was now running his family’s ranch with his brothers.
“Hello, ma’am,” he said, his voice deep and strong.
“Good afternoon, sir. I’m Lindsey Collins, the ski pro at the Lars Usten Resort in Park City, Utah.”
“The same Lindsey Collins who broke two world records?” he asked.
No, she thought, not anymore. But she couldn’t say that to him. “Yes, I am. I’m calling today because the resorts in Park City are participating in a charity event to get more kids out on the slopes, especially those who can’t afford it. We’re doing a kickoff event in mid-February and we were hoping some of you military guys might want to join us in the exhibition event.”
“Mid-February? I think I can make it. It’s not like I have to be in Marietta on Valentine’s Day,” he said good-naturedly. “What kind of event is it?”
“Well, I’m captaining one team and snowboarder Carter Shaw is the captain of the other one. We have local celebs and executives from the different resorts on our teams and we are each raising money for the fall event as well as getting some press for it.”
“Sounds interesting. Where do my men and I fit in?”
She took a breath. “Well, your team was brought up because we know there are some kids in your situation that might not be aware they can still participate in sports. No offense. I hope you understand how I meant that...” She was feeling flustered because she wasn’t sure if she’d phrased her comments right.
He chuckled. “I get it. A lot of people see losing a limb or two as the end of their outdoor life. I’d love to participate, and I think I can get one or two others to do it, as well. If it’s okay with you, we’ll just be a part of your two established teams. No need for us to be singled out.”
“That sounds great. I’ll text you my email address. Just send me your details and I’ll get you all set up with the committee so you can be up-to-date on the plans. They’ll assign you to a team.”
“I hope I get to ski with you,” Lane said.
“Me, too. I’ll put in a good word. Thanks, Lane.”
“Thank you for thinking of us,” he said.
Lindsey hung up the phone and was moved by the fact that Lane and his buddies hadn’t let an injury slow them down. She was going to use their courage to motivate herself. And in all honesty, she was fine. So why was she struggling so hard to get back on the snow?
Once Lane’s information came through, she forwarded it to the committee and then headed out to meet Carter. As she walked up the trail to the toboggan course, she put on her sunglasses and applied the lip balm of the company that used to sponsor her.
In the summer the lodge used the course, as well. It was one of the many year-round attractions that made Park City so perfect for families. But today she wasn’t thinking about the fact that she had a job. Today she was thinking about her flaws. Her own shortcomings, and why other people had been able to get back on the snow and she hadn’t. Her coach had sent one of his newest talents to meet with her over the Christmas break, and she suspected he’d meant it to motivate her, but all it had done was make it even harder for her to get back out there.
She wasn’t young and untried. She had broken two world records and still held one of them. But she was afraid that was all in her past. It was hard to stare at your life when you were almost thirty and think that the best may have already happened. She’d always looked to each New Year as a chance to do better, to achieve more.
She saw Carter chatting with Nate Pearson, one of the guys who ran the toboggan course. Nate had been on one of the US teams at the winter games last year, so it wasn’t surprising that he knew Carter.
“Hey, Lindsey,” Nate said, smirking. “Couldn’t believe it when this player said you were meeting him.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes. Well, what could she say in her defense? Carter was a player. That was why she was struggling so hard to make sure that she didn’t attach too much importance to their one night together. Maybe if she was able to keep it to just that one night it might be okay. They could flirt and tease each other outside the bedroom and she could pretend that nothing had changed between them. Even though she knew that everything had.
“You’re preaching to the choir, Nate. I know better than to get serious with a guy like Carter.”
“I’m standing right here, you know,” Carter said.
She winked at him. “I guess you are sort of charming and cute. That’s why all the girls like you.”
“We can’t all be the Ice Queen,” he muttered under his breath. “So are you ready for this?”
“Let me get you guys set up,” Nate said.
He walked away, leaving them alone for a minute, and Lindsey noticed that Carter looked a bit ticked off.
“You okay?”
“Yes,” he said after a long silence. “I just don’t like you thinking of me as a player. That’s not what I am with you.”
She smiled, because he sounded so sincere. “I don’t believe it’s something you get to choose. You are just naturally the kind of man that all women are drawn to.”
“Even you?” he asked.
Especially her. “Of course.”
11 (#u15241939-5112-5a8a-81d2-1759ffb894ea)
CARTER CHECKED INTO one of the residences at the resort that was away from the main building but still close enough that he could drop in when he needed to. It had been five days since he’d seen Lindsey and gone tobogganing with her. He’d contemplated buying a condo in Lindsey’s development. It would have been an investment, and he did like having his own place to stay. But he had opted not to. He didn’t want to push her too much. He’d been flying back and forth between professional engagements, his home in California and Park City.
He changed into some casual boarding clothes, grabbed his snowboard and headed out. He was dying to get on the slopes. He’d taken a few runs over the past few days. Not tricked-out ones as he did on the half-pipe but runs down the mountain. God, there was nothing like that feeling as he barreled down it.
He was almost to the ski lifts when he stopped and thought about Lindsey again. As if she was ever far from his mind. He knew she loved skiing the way he did snowboarding. So he went to the rental shop, stowed his board and got himself a pair of skis. He’d tried skiing maybe twice and decided he’d liked the solidness of the board beneath his feet better.
But he was going to have to sacrifice that to make sure Lindsey knew he was serious about helping her. He’d signed up for her afternoon lesson, which had already started, so he had to hurry to join the group.
He saw the look on her face when he showed up.
She forced a smile onto her face, saying, “Looks like we have a star in our midst. This is world champ Carter Shaw.”
The kids all turned in his direction, and one boy, who was about eight, grinned up at him. “I wanted to snowboard, but my mom said no.”
“Mom said you had to do the same thing as me and Kylie.” The girl who spoke looked about two years older than the boy and, if he had to guess, Carter would have said she was his sister.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“I like snowboarding but I’m a novice at skiing,” he said to the kid. “We can learn together.”
“Cool. I’m Jackson,” the boy replied.
“Jackson, do you want to show Carter what we’ve learned so far?” Lindsey asked.
“Sure.”
Jackson was an enthusiastic teacher for someone who wasn’t sure he wanted to learn how to ski. For the duration of the class, he was Carter’s shadow. Not that he minded. He followed the kid and caught up with him.
When they were all set to take their first runs down the very small slope they’d been practicing on, Carter noticed that Lindsey looked a little pale.
Was she going to ski?
Jackson went first and looked over at him, showing off a bit as he slid down the slope and fell on his backside. One of his sisters rushed over to help him up but he pushed her hands away.
“I’m fine.”
Carter used his poles and skied over to Jackson. “Dude, you did great.”
“I didn’t. I fell.”
“Everyone falls,” Lindsey said. “I crashed big time. The key is getting back up.”
Carter looked at Lindsey, realizing again how brave she was. “It’s not easy to do, but I bet next time your run will be even better.”
Jackson nodded. Another kid called for Lindsey and she turned away to talk to the student. “Not everyone gets it the first time,” he told the boy.
“The other kids seem to,” Jackson grumbled.
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Jackson,” Carter said, leaning down to look the kid straight in the eye. “I’m a slow learner. I have to practice something ten times more than other people before I finally master it.”
“Really? But you’ve got gold medals and X-Energy girls hanging around you. Doesn’t seem like you have any problems,” Jackson said.
“Dude, those girls get paid to hang around me,” Carter replied, realizing that the women might attract older men to the sport but were sending the wrong message to younger ones. “There are a lot of things in life, not just skiing or snowboarding, that are hard. Some of them are going to be a breeze for you and other things will be a breeze for your friends or your sister and will take you longer to master.”
Carter put his poles in one hand and held his other out to Jackson. The kid reached up, and Carter pulled him to his feet. “I’m a little worried about my first run down the slope.”
“We can go together,” Jackson offered.
“Deal,” Carter said. He glanced over Jackson’s head and noticed Lindsey watching him. He winked at her.
She shook her head at him, but mouthed her thanks. “You guys ready to take your run?”
“We are,” Jackson said.
Carter stayed close to Jackson as they got to the top of the slope. Lindsey skied up next to them and smiled, but he noticed the tension around her mouth. He wondered if just being on the skis was rattling her.
“Give yourself a minute to look down the slope,” Lindsey said. “Remember where you fell?”
“Yeah.”
“This time in your mind picture yourself going straight past there,” she said.
“I will. Ready, Carter?”
“I am.”
Together they took off down the slope, and it didn’t really take Carter any time to adjust to having two skis under him instead of his snowboard. Lindsey had given them the basics, but more than that, just knowing the kid and Lindsey were watching was enough to make him want to do a little better.
The entire class was at the bottom of the small slope, and he looked back up at Lindsey. He was scared for her, and wondered if she’d be able to ski down it. But he saw her take a breath and come sailing down.
Her form was shaky to his eyes, but he’d seen her at her best, and today it was fear driving her—not the need to win. The smile on her face as she joined their little group, though... That was real.
* * *
THE CLASS BROKE UP and all the kids were reconnected with their parents. Jackson waved happily at Carter. Lindsey shook her head. Was there anyone who Carter couldn’t relate to?
She sat and took off her skis, and then stood there for a minute. Her first run in the better part of a year. It was a big deal and she didn’t downplay it. She’d been scared, but as usual letting Carter see any vulnerability had pushed her to just do it. And now she had. She was tempted to take another run. Down the little slope again? Or maybe something more moderate. Maybe one of the bunny slopes.
“Great class,” Carter said, coming up to her.
“Yeah? Well, you were certainly a big hit. What are you even doing here?” she asked. “Ski lessons? Just doesn’t seem to be your style.”
“When are you going to learn that I don’t fit the little mold you keep trying to shove me into?” he asked. “I’m here because if I’m going to lead a team with skiers on it, I have to at least be able to participate in a few of their events.”
“Crap. Do you think I’ll have to snowboard?” she asked. She didn’t even want to begin to think about that. Not now. “I might give it a go on one of those indoor places. It’s all virtual.”
“I’ve seen them. In fact, I have one that is branded in my name,” he said.
She laughed. Of course he did. That was really a Carter sort of thing. From the beginning he’d took to the press and to advertising as though born to it. He was photogenic, that went without saying, but he also really liked the spotlight. Almost as much as he liked snowboarding—or at least that was the impression she’d always had.
“Well, then, I guess you know what I’m talking about.”
“I do,” he said. “The kids in your class were great, by the way.”
“You caught a good class. Some of them aren’t so great. Jackson sure took to you.” Lindsey looked up at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you were really encouraging.”
“Shocked you, didn’t it?” he asked with a rueful grin. “Don’t let the word get out or all my rivalries will look like shams.”
“As one of your biggest adversaries, I’d never let the cat out of the bag.” She studied him for a long moment. “Have you ever thought about coaching?”
“It’s really not my thing. I mean, helping Jackson over a learning curve is one thing, but day in, day out, keeping up that kind of energy... I’m not sure I could do it.”
That was too bad. He’d sounded as though he really got the difficulties that came along with participating in a sport. Well, duh. She shook her head.
“I saw that look on your face after the run. You liked it, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Sort of. When I got to the bottom, I was elated that I’d done it. But if you and the class hadn’t been at the bottom, I might have walked away.”
“I don’t think so. You’ve turned a corner, Linds. You’re not walking away from anything anymore.”
He was right—she wasn’t. She didn’t know how she was going to take a big run, but from now on she wasn’t going to let her fear dominate her. She’d sort of turned a corner, and she knew exactly who to thank for it.
The only problem she could see was that she’d sort of tried shoving him out of her life, but here he was again. He was one determined fellow, as her granny would say.
