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“Why do you keep showing up?”
“Why do you keep pushing me away?” he countered. “That’s the real question. What is it about me that makes you do that?”
She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. “I just need to sort through my stuff. And this job... I have to make some decisions, and I’ve always believed the best time to get involved with a man—”
“Wait. Are you actually contemplating getting involved with me? I thought I was your dirty secret. Your booty call.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t know why I try to talk to you. You look like a normal human being but inside you’re just one big ass.”
“I am. I really am,” he said. “But let’s both agree that you have been treating me as though I have the plague.”
“You like to exaggerate, don’t you?”
“Just a tad.” A wicked gleam flared in his eyes. “Seriously, you are thinking of a relationship?”
“I don’t know. Not now,” she said, but that was her own pride talking. She knew that she was infatuated with him. She’d typed his name into internet search engines, read every article on him and spent hours looking at pictures of him. Especially the one of him for the famous underwear designer. It’d be dumb to pretend she wasn’t already attached to him in some way.
“I can be too much,” he admitted. “But it’s only when I’m nervous. When I was a kid, before I found snowboarding, I used to drive my nanny crazy. Sometimes she’d have to take a day off just to keep me in line.”
That was interesting. “How’d that work?”
“I wanted her to come back. She was my companion whenever we travelled and I was homeschooled for a while so I missed her.”
“Why were you homeschooled?”
“I was a late reader,” he said. “Isn’t it funny how there is a PC term for anything that’s wrong with you?”
“I bet you were too physical to actually sit still and read,” she said. “Nothing wrong with that. And I’ll take PC over Ice Queen any day. I can’t believe Bradley called me that.”
“Well, it is sort of what the media calls you. But if you want me to defend your honor, I’ll challenge him on the slopes and humiliate him for you,” Carter said, reaching out and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Just say the word.”
“I think we’re good,” she said with an uneasy laugh. She noticed that it was starting to get a little dark and she knew it was time to go, but she didn’t want to leave Carter. Not in the punch-drunk-love way but more in a tired-of-spending-all-her-nights-alone way.
* * *
CHASING HER WASN’T working exactly the way he’d planned, but Carter wasn’t going to argue with the results. Who knew that skiing would be the thing to bring them closer? In a way, that made perfect sense to him because it was the sport that had always been between them and it still was.
She’d been so focused on her skiing when they’d first met and now that she couldn’t ski anymore... Well, that hadn’t brought them any closer together.
“A group of people from Thunderbolt are in town and hitting a few of the bars tonight. Want to come?” he asked.
She gave him a long, level look. “Dang it. That’s on my resolutions list. I guess I’m going to have to.”
He knew she hadn’t put bar crawl on her list. It was the exact opposite of everything he knew to be true about Lindsey, but he also guessed she was tired of the space between them. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. He wanted her to need him.
Almost as much as he wanted her in his bed.
“I’ll pick you up at eight,” he said. He knew he should go, but instead he reached for her skis and put them over his shoulder with his own. “I have to return these...unless you want to take another run.”
“I was actually thinking about it. But I have to do it on my own.”
“I get it,” he said. “Let me trade these skis for my board and I’ll catch a ride up with you and then meet you at the bottom?”
She chewed her lower lip. For a minute he understood what she’d been trying to say to him earlier. She wasn’t in any position to think clearly about her future. In a way that was why he thought he had to strike now. She wasn’t going to want him when everything in her life was neatly sorted into boxes. He wasn’t going to fit, but he did now.
“Okay. Where’s your board?”
“I left it with your staff. Someone named Jeff,” Carter informed her as they walked to the main ski-rental building.
“He is a huge fan,” Lindsey teased. “He probably set up an altar and lit a candle around it.”
Carter had to laugh. “I doubt it.”
“I don’t. He talks about you and the half-pipe all the time. I guess your latest stunt has really gotten him. He’d probably love some pointers.”
It always floored him when he heard someone talking about his accomplishments as though they were special. He wasn’t being funny, but the stuff he did came naturally to him and always seemed just that little bit not good enough. “Maybe I’ll see if he wants to meet up.”
“He’d love that,” Lindsey said as they entered the building. Unfortunately the kid wasn’t there.
“Hey, is Jeff here? I need to get my board,” Carter said as Lindsey went behind the counter to talk to the other ski instructor.
“He’s going to be bummed you came back while he was gone.”
“Tell him I’ll stop by tomorrow... When does he work?” Carter asked. He found out and made a note in his phone to stop by. It wouldn’t hurt him to chat with the guy. He worked with Lindsey, so it might even help her to see that he was so much more than his bad-boy image.
“Ready?” he asked Lindsey when he noticed she was standing by herself with her skis.
“As I’ll ever be,” she said.
They walked to the ski lift and waited in line to take it to the top. He could tell she was nervous because she kept looking up at the mountain. All he really wanted to do was to hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. But since this probably wasn’t the time or place, he searched his mind for something to distract her.
Then he grinned to himself. Humor. It worked every time.
“Oh, guess what, gorgeous? I’ve added a few things to my resolutions list. I might have to write a thank-you note to the resort for all the ways they are helping me improve.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “What did you add?”
“Kiss Lindsey on the ski lift.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “That’s too bad, because I just don’t see that happening.”
“That’s odd. I totally do.”
She laughed, but as they got closer he noted she didn’t look worried anymore. When it was their turn, they both got on the lift.
“What was your best ski-lift ride?” he asked curiously.
“First time I was going up for a world event. I was so excited. I’d run the course in my mind and was so ready for it. You?” she asked.
This one. But he didn’t say it. There hadn’t been many times in his life that he’d done something without wondering what was in it for him. But this thing with Lindsey? Sure, it brought him closer to her and gave him a chance to tease her about kissing and intimacy, but it really was for her. She needed to be skiing, not teaching kids at a resort.
He knew that and had a feeling that she knew it, as well.
“Same. Right after I had this interview with a pretty girl and she gave me the cold shoulder.”
“I guess that was a common reaction to you back in the day,” she said with a grin.
“Only your reaction. I was determined to get to the top and then wow you with my skills.”
She smiled. “You did when you hit the half-pipe. I’ve seen you run moguls, and you are good.”
“Good enough to let me steal a kiss?” he asked, waggling his brows at her.
“Not today, Carter. Maybe if I make it to the bottom of the hill, I’ll think about kissing you good-night after we hit the clubs.”
“That’s a long time,” he grumbled. “I’m not sure I can wait.”
“I think you’ll do just fine.”
They’d reached the top and got off the lift. She looked over at him, and he remembered his promise. He’d had no idea it would be so hard to leave her. Especially not with that look in her eyes.
“I’m out of here,” he said, but walked over to her and kissed her quickly on the lips before stepping back and putting his boots in his board. He clicked the buckles and pushed off with a grin. “You’ll have to catch me to yell at me.”
* * *
LINDSEY TOOK HER time getting her booted feet into her skis. The kiss from Carter... It had been nice and really not much of a surprise. His confession that he’d wanted to impress her hadn’t been, either. They’d been doing that since they’d met.
She’d counted on her own feelings of not wanting to let him see her freak out to get her down the mountain. She thought of all the runs she’d taken in her life, and this one wasn’t nearly the hardest or most dangerous but it was in her head.
She took a deep breath when she realized she’d been breathing in and out too quickly. She remembered New Year’s Eve when he’d sat at her table and she had felt that tingle of excitement. She wanted to be that woman again.
The one who could take on anything and beat it.
She closed her eyes and offered up her little prayer, and then pushed her sticks in the ground at the same moment as she opened her eyes. She froze and forgot to crouch and was kind of awkwardly bumbling along down the slope until everything sort of clicked together.
She felt the wind on her face, and the poles started to feel right in her hands as she adjusted her stance and leaned into her run. She was skiing. Oh. My. God. She was on skis again and taking a run.
She didn’t do anything fancy, just kept her wits about her and tried not to think of all the possibilities that were opening up to her after this. This was one of the major things keeping her in limbo, and she felt as if she’d just ripped off her last bandage and found that she didn’t have a scar.
She reached the bottom of the run and skied to a stop next to Carter, who was standing there with his goggles pushed up on his head. Then she pushed hers up, too, and launched herself at him.
She caught him off guard, and he fell back onto the snow as she kissed him. Heart thudding wildly in her chest, she feathered kisses all over his face and then lifted herself up to look down into that intense blue-gray gaze of his.
“I skied.”
“I saw you,” he said, his voice husky.
He hugged her close, and she realized without Carter she might not be here. She looked down at him again and saw the man she’d known for all of her adult life, but she also had the feeling she was seeing him for the first time.
She’d had sex with this man, but lying in the snow on top of him after taking a run that she’d never thought she’d be able to again, she finally realized that she’d had him pegged all wrong. This was intimacy. This sharing of something that went beyond the physical.
It scared her, but it also exhilarated her, and there was no way she was going to keep him at arm’s length after this. She wasn’t sure how long the magic of having Carter with her was going to last, but she intended to ride it for as long as she could.
She lowered her head and brushed her lips against his—a soft sort of thank-you to the man who’d pushed her and forced his way past all of her barriers until he got her to do the very thing that had been scaring her for way too long.
He smiled up at her, looking smug, as though he knew that he’d done something for her that she couldn’t have done for herself.
“Caught ya,” she said at last, reaching past him and scooping up a handful of snow.
“Dang it. Now I’m going to have to put up with more kisses,” he complained.
“Not just kisses, Carter. I’m afraid you stepped over the line. I did warn you,” she said, rolling over and shoving the handful of snow into the crook between his neck and shoulder.
He yelped and scooted back from her. He grabbed a handful of snow and lobbed it at her. She laughed as she unbuckled her skis and gathered more ammo to hurl at him. She kept throwing snowballs and ducking his until he rushed her. Scooping her up into his arms, he kissed her, and this time it felt real. Not a dare, not a thank-you, but that red-hot lust that always lurked beneath the surface whenever he was around.
“Enough, gorgeous,” he said, letting her slide down his body and lacing his fingers through hers. “I’m proud of you. I knew you could do it, and you proved yourself.”
She swallowed hard. “I didn’t know I could. Thank you, Carter. You always know just what to do to nudge me out of my comfort zone.”
“I intend to do a lot more nudging tonight when we are out with my friends,” he warned her softly. “I think you’ve been the Ice Queen for too long and you’re overdue for a thaw.”
She arched a brow. “I think you know that I’m not always icy.”
“I do, and I like it.”
They walked back to the rental building and Carter said goodbye to her. She watched him walk away, and this time he glanced back over his shoulder and winked at her before he disappeared around the corner.
12 (#u15241939-5112-5a8a-81d2-1759ffb894ea)
THERE WAS ONE more week of the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, so the bars were crowded with some celebrities and a lot of film industry insiders. There were a few people she had met at the big winter games last year but Lindsey mostly avoided them. Instead she sat nestled on a high bar stool at a table jammed with people. Carter sat next to her with his arm casually draped over her shoulder.
She tried to be cool and casual, but this wasn’t her kind of place and she felt uncomfortable. Plus, Carter was different here. It was as if he was aware of an image he had to project, or maybe a person he had to be, and he wasn’t acting like himself.
If she’d been aware of that, she would have turned him down when he’d invited her to come along with him today.
Oh, who was she kidding? She would have been here anyway, because this afternoon after she’d skied she would have said yes to anything. There had been such a rush of adrenaline flooding through her, making her feel lighter than air.
That she could do anything.
“Another drink?” the cocktail waitress asked.
“Manhattan, please,” Lindsey said.
“Vodka and Thunderbolt,” Carter said. “A round for the table.”
The waitress nodded and moved away. She turned to look at Carter, who wore an Oxford shirt with some sort of graffiti-style art on the left side of a snowboarder doing a “crippler”—an inverted 540 spin. He hadn’t shaved, but that little bit of stubble on his jaw made him look roguish, and his hair was styled in that messy, casual way he always wore it.
“We have to show the sponsors some love,” he said.
