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“That you’re not a dud,” she said.
4 (#u15241939-5112-5a8a-81d2-1759ffb894ea)
HER BODY TINGLED, and she felt more alive than she had in the past year. She pushed herself from Carter and leaned back on her elbow so she could watch him. God, a man shouldn’t look like this. Not when he was lying next to her in bed. He was all sinew and muscle and, despite his reputation for being debauched, he was in very good shape.
He’d said he was retiring from snowboarding but there was no evidence of that in his lean, hard body.
His eyes were half-closed; he had one hand on her waist, idly gliding up and down her side. His hands were large but sort of soft when he touched her. The confidence and the courage that had brought her up to his room and into his bed were still there. Buzzing around in her mind, which was a little fuzzy from the drinks she’d had and the sex.
God, she’d had no idea sex could be like that. Could be that good. She understood now why so many people were tempted to miss their training schedules for it.
“Was it a surprise for you?” she asked a bit tentatively. Maybe this was the way it always was for him.
He fully opened his eyes, turning his blue-gray gaze on her. “What?”
“The sex. Or is it always like that for you?”
“Damn, gorgeous, the things you ask,” he said. Scrubbing a hand over his eyes, he grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed and bunched it up under his head.
“If I don’t ask I’ll never know. And you are a player,” she reminded him.
He arched one dark eyebrow at her.
“Not going to try to deny it, are you? I heard about many of your hook-ups over the years.”
“Why would I when you wouldn’t believe me anyway?”
“I don’t know. Actually, I really don’t know you,” she admitted. She traced the tattoo of Nagano on his hip. She’d skied there at a world-cup competition twice. She traced the path down his hip and noticed that he let her, just kept still while she ran her finger over his skin.
She didn’t know what to do next. She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said this wasn’t her kind of situation. And let’s face it, most etiquette books didn’t cover what to do when a woman ended up in bed with a bad-boy snowboarder. In fact, her mom would have probably said don’t end up there. She was practical like that.
He sat up and caught her hand in his, bringing it ever so slowly to his lips. He kissed her palm and then looked her straight in the eye. She saw the sincerity his gaze and something else. Something she couldn’t really define.
He leaned closer. She closed her eyes because it felt too intense. The room smelled of sex and Carter. That spicy aftershave she’d noticed that lingered in the air after they’d had a conversation.
“It was special for me, too.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked, opening her eyes and almost smiling. She wanted to hear that she was different from the other women. Carter had exceeded her wildest expectations and made her realize that the safe dates and bed partners she’d had in the past weren’t the norm.
He laughed again. “Give me a minute to wash up, and then we can continue this conversation.”
He got out of the bed and padded naked to the bathroom, returning a moment later with a warm washcloth for her to use. He took it back into the bathroom, and while she was alone, she glanced around the room and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the desk. She notice her tiara with the year on it on its side near the bed.
She placed it on the nightstand before scooting up and getting under the covers. As she leaned back against the headboard, she realized he might not want her to stay.
This would have been easier if she’d taken him to her place. Then she maybe she wouldn’t feel so awkward.
He strode back into the room with all the grace and elegance of a tiger.
She forced a smile and what she liked to think of as her game face. The expression she used in the press room after a bad run, or when she’d had to go in front of the media and act as though it hadn’t mattered that her career in skiing was over after her fall.
Watching his muscles moving with each step he took, she realized he was a perfect specimen. Not like her body, which was broken and bore fresh scars. She envied him his healthy body. Tamping down her roiling emotions, she shook her head. She wasn’t going down that path tonight.
Instead, the sheet falling to her waist, she drank him in.
“Dammit.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked in alarm.
“You make me want to start all over again.”
“Start what?” She wasn’t following him.
“Sex,” he said. “I’ve just had you but I want you again. Want to take my time and make sure that I haven’t missed one glorious spot on your body.”
She arched one eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you did. But first I want to hear why you think I’m special.”
He rubbed a hand over his chest and came to sit next to her on the bed. “Gorgeous, you’ve always been special to me.”
That was a nonanswer if she ever heard it, but it was New Year’s Day. He was her little gift to start out a fabulous year, and she guessed from his tone that discussing their past wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.
She sighed, but the drinks and her emotions were catching up with her. She traced his tattoo and thought of all the risks she’d taken in her life and how they’d paid off for her. Carter Shaw was the biggest one. She’d come to his room for a night of pleasure and hopefully to jar herself out of the sameness that her life had taken on.
That was it.
It was hard, though, because she was a planner, and to face any situation knowing that she didn’t have a proved strategy made her edgy and scared.
* * *
IF SHE’D BEEN any other woman, he would have been happy to climb back into that bed and have another round of mind-numbing sex. But this was Lindsey. His gorgeous Nordic angel who’d always been different. And tonight was no exception.
She kept touching him in that innocent way of hers that turned him on, but more than that, she seemed to touch him as if she wasn’t thinking about it.
“Tell me about this tattoo.”
That she’d changed the subject kind of let him off the hook and also disappointed him the tiniest bit. He wanted her to demand some answers from him, not let him keep skating by on the surface. But she saw him the way every other woman did. She was different to him but he wasn’t different to her.
It hurt for a split second before he shrugged it aside and shifted to lie next to her. He pulled a couple of pillows closer and propped them under his head.
“What about it?”
“When did you get it?”
“On a trip to Japan with my dad when I was a teenager.”
“How on earth did you convince them to give you a tattoo...or did your dad okay it?” she asked with a smile.
Carter thought of his old man and how, back then, he’d been sort of his enemy. Now that he was an adult they got on well, but growing up, his dad had seemed like this guy who had never really lived or ever done anything daring. The exact opposite of everything that Carter wanted to be. His mom had died in childbirth, and his dad had never recovered.
“No, he didn’t approve. But I was on my own, spoke decent Japanese and looked like I was eighteen. I knew from the moment I’d seen the mountain that I wanted it. I wanted to snowboard down it, learn its paths and twists and turns. Try to capture some of its wildness.”
He lifted his head and stared down into her pretty brown eyes. She smiled in response. “That’s almost poetic. Watch it, Shaw, your badass image is slipping.”
“I got ink at sixteen. That’s pretty badass,” he retorted, trying to push aside the feelings she called easily to the surface. He wasn’t one of those guys who spent much time thinking heavy thoughts. So he could only blame Lindsey and this evening for stirring up those old memories.
“And now you’re twenty-seven and retiring? Time flies, doesn’t it?” she said, rolling onto her back and lifting her arms up above her head.
The movement forced her breasts into prominence, and he reached over and feathered his fingers across them. Slowly stroking her skin, which was very smooth and very warm. Addicting almost. He never wanted to stop touching her.
She turned over again, facing him. “I don’t want to talk about the past.”
“Me, either.”
The present was way more interesting than the things he’d done in the past. For instance, this was the first time he was close enough to hold Lindsey in his arms. Close enough to notice that on her rib cage just below her breast she had a small birthmark. He leaned in to kiss it.
“What are you doing?”
“Memorizing you. Trying to make sure I know every inch of you.”
“I thought it took guys a while to recover after sex,” she said.
He shook his head and laughed. “Some guys. Some of the time. I think it depends on the woman and man. It’s not taking me any time with you.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked curiously. “Is it back to me being special?”
He caressed her side, starting at her shoulder and working his way slowly down to her hip. “I don’t know why. It’s not something I’ve ever analyzed. Why would I? Sex is supposed to be fun, not figures put in a spreadsheet.”
“Is it?” she mused. “That hasn’t always been my experience, but then I haven’t done the amount of experimenting you have.”
“Gorgeous, you’re pushing me. I’m not sure why.”
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “This seemed like fun in the bar, but now that I’m up here, I don’t know how to act or what to do next. I’m not used to that.”
He sighed. “There is no right or wrong action here. We make up our own rules, okay?”
He wanted her to be different, and she was. She made him feel alive in a way that only snowboarding had before. Something he’d never found in any of his personal relationships. Maybe it was just the novelty of sleeping with a girl he’d wanted since he was seventeen. Or maybe it was just the place he was in at this moment in his life.
But he didn’t want her to think they had to behave in a certain way. With other woman he’d been different—happy for the sex, but not wanting anything more. It had been casual and friendly with no feelings getting hurt. But this was Lindsey, and he needed more.
More? How much more, he had no idea. This was all new to him, too.
“Okay, so what kind of rules should we have?” she asked. “Are we going to do this again?”
“Um...I thought that was obvious,” he said, gesturing to his erection.
She laughed, and the sound washed over him like a warm bit of sunshine on a cold day.
A moment later she reached for him, stroked her hand up and down his cock, and then leaned down to kiss him. “Okay, so after that—then what?”
“We’ll figure it out. This is one thing we don’t have to train for or have a rigorous schedule about.” She nodded, and he saw that something was going on inside her head, but he had no idea what it was. What was it she was thinking? He thought maybe he shouldn’t let himself get distracted, but for tonight he’d had enough conversation.
He had a naked Lindsey in his bed and he intended to enjoy her.
* * *
THEY FELL ASLEEP in each other’s arms after making love the second time, and when Lindsey woke, it was to the soft snores coming from Carter. He was turned on his side, facing her, and their fingers were linked together. She was riveted by the sight of him, but had a little bit of a headache and was thirsty.
Really thirsty.
She carefully pulled her hand from his and made her way quietly across the bedroom into the bathroom, where she closed the door, letting just the illumination from the night-light break the darkness. She saw herself in the mirror, but avoided eye contact as she filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.
Lost in thought, she closed the lid on the toilet and sat on it.
She was no closer now to knowing what to do next than she had been six hours earlier. She noticed she had a little bit of razor burn on her neck, remembered the feel of him in her arms and shivered. Carter Shaw. Who’d have guessed?
She finished her water and then stood to lean in over the sink.
Her previous sexual experiences had been less than stellar. Did she look different now that she’d had an orgasm with a man rather than by her own hand? She searched her face for some sign, but there wasn’t one. She still looked like Lindsey. Like herself. But inside something had awakened. Something was changing, and she had no clue what she was going to do next.
She bit her lip. Staying here and waiting for Carter to wake up sounded like a bad idea. She knew that last night was only one night. It had been fun and frivolous, two things she’d never embraced in her entire life. But she’d liked it. No regrets.
You only live once, right? But now it was a new day and time for making plans.
No matter how incredible it had been, there was no denying that this thing between her and Carter wasn’t going to last. They had nothing in common aside from sports, and skiers and snowboarders were very different. Frankly, they didn’t really even know each other that well.
Something that she intended to ensure didn’t change. Because there was no need for it to. He was going back to his wandering ways, and though she’d cross paths with him once in a while on the committee for the charity event, she doubted she’d really see that much of him.
She felt a little pang and ignored it. Of course, the thought of going back to the adversarial strangers they’d been hurt after last night. After sharing something with him she’d experienced with no other man. But it wasn’t going to happen again. Carter was a bad boy and not at all the kind of guy she was interested in trying to date. Besides, her life was a big-ass mess right now.
Lindsey sighed. Her clothes were scattered in the other room, and she needed to collect them, get dressed and beat a hasty retreat before he woke. But first she grabbed one of the robes from behind the door...because in the cold light of day walking around naked didn’t feel right.
She opened the door cautiously and heard the low rumble of Carter’s voice.
“Thank you very much.”
He was awake.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her, his brown hair tousled and sticking up a little on the left side. He tossed the cordless phone onto the bed and stood. “I ordered breakfast.”
“I actually should probably be going,” she said hastily. “I feel like I’ve—”
“Where do you have to go? I know you’re not working today.”
“You do?” Her eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“Because you were drinking and partying last night. I know you aren’t the type of person to ski after a night like that,” he said. “Take it from me, your concentration won’t be that great.”
“Have you done that? Snowboarded in that condition?”
