Tempted By Collection

But who was to say that these ‘paler’ relationships were no good? That they weren’t as valuable, weren’t as enjoyable, weren’t as true?

Because, damn, his feelings for Naomi felt strong! They felt as strong as anything he’d ever felt for Meredith and that scared the living daylights out of him. He still barely knew her! They’d lived together for the best part of a couple of months, but, really, that was nothing. What did that prove?

That I can’t bear the idea of her moving out. That I can’t stand this self-imposed prison I’ve created around myself.

He became aware that Naomi was staring at him, with eyes watery with tears, tears that he’d caused. He’d told her that he would never want to hurt her but he was still doing exactly that. And it was all because of his stupid rules!

I must be wrong, because Naomi feels so right!

She was right there. Right next to him. Within touching distance. He could wipe that tear from her cheek. He could wipe it away and kiss her again and throw away all those self-regulated chains that were holding him back. He could reach out to her and break free and—damn the rules!

He could make her feel better. Make himself feel better. He could be happy with Naomi if only he gave himself the opportunity.

He leaned forward and, closing his eyes, tenderly kissed away the tears on her cheek.

She sucked in a breath and he opened his eyes to look at her. They were just millimetres away, both of them holding back for just a second more, just a moment to make sure the other one wanted this as much as they did and then...

He pressed his lips to hers. His hands delved into her thick mane of hair, pulling it free of the pins and clips as it tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. Then suddenly he was tasting her and she tasted divine. She kissed him back fervently, her hands pulling him to her, pressing him against her as she lay back on the sofa and he enveloped her, his tongue exploring and his senses going into overdrive as he tasted, smelt, touched.

She groaned his name and reached for his shirt at his waistband, pulling it up and free so that her hands could find his bare skin beneath.

He needed her. He needed her so badly and yet he had to be tender. She was so soft and delicate and he wanted to enjoy every sensation, every caress, to see her every delight, revel in her joy and her ecstasy.

Finding the knot of material at her waist, he tugged it free and began to remove her dress...

Naomi gloried in the delights befalling her body. Tom had an expert touch. He knew exactly where to touch her, where to taste, and his fingers played over her skin as if she were a finely tuned musical instrument.

Tom’s mouth slowly tasted each breast, delicately licking and kissing her, trailing down over the gentle slope of her stomach, giving teasing little nips and licks, sending sensations of both shock and pleasure through her body, until finally his mouth came to settle between her thighs.

Arching her back, she groaned as he sought out her most delicate area. Grasping his hair in her hands, she gasped for breath, riding the waves of pleasure that sang their way through her nerve endings and sent her sensory system into overload, as her pleasure built and built until she was crying out his name, begging him to stop.

Was this what she had been missing all her life? This passion, this ardour? This frenzy of desire and want and need? She had dismissed such feelings as unimportant when she’d met and married Vincent, believing that the measured love she’d had for him would be enough to carry them through what was to come. She’d believed that her friendship with Vincent had been just as important as her love and that the heat, the fire, the intensity of all the feelings she was experiencing right now were something that she could live without.

She’d not known what she had been missing. Of course, she’d seen films where the two main characters got lost in a hot, scorching night, totally consumed by their passion for each other. But she’d dismissed them as pretend. They hadn’t been real. Surely that wasn’t what real people experienced. She’d thought it was impossible to find someone like that, someone who could make you go stir crazy in bed.

And so she’d continued to sit and watch the movies next to Vincent and had managed not to worry that she was missing out on something.

Now that she was experiencing it, she knew she couldn’t live without it. If only she’d known...

Tom entered her and she closed her eyes in delight. This was it. This was the feeling that she’d read about, that she’d often wondered about, that she’d wanted to feel, but never had. This feeling of being consumed, of being filled, of being joined to another in such an intimate way. And it was wondrous! Being with Tom, knowing that he needed her as much as she needed him, made her feel so free. It was crazy, laugh-out-loud amazing.

She could feel Tom’s ardour increasing as his movements got faster and harder. Gripping him to her, she gasped for air, feeling the hard strength of his taut body above her, riding her. His mouth found hers and then she lost herself yet again, allowing herself to fall into the wonderful chasm that was Tom’s arms, letting go of everything about herself that she’d ever held back, encouraging him to do the same, until suddenly—wonderfully—he cried out, thrusting into her like his whole life depended upon it and then...then he stilled. Just for a moment. Then his mouth found hers once again, pressing his lips against hers. He continued kissing her, tasting her lips, her tongue, her neck, tracing her collarbone with his lips. His hot breath trailing along her skin made her tingle.

For a second, they just lay there, holding each other, still entwined.

Naomi revelled in this glorious sensation. She had found a new side of herself that she hadn’t known existed. Never before had sex been anything like this. There’d been some drunken fumbling and Vincent had done his best to try and please her, but there’d been so many physical restrictions. With Vincent, the body had been something to fight against. For him to get angry at. He’d not been able to touch her the way she’d wanted. Not been able to excite her the way she’d really wanted.

It had always been a frustrating event and in the end something that they had stopped doing. Their marriage had become a friendship after that. It had been all about companionship and she’d lied and told herself that that was enough.

With Tom sex was something to be enjoyed. To be revelled in. She’d been made love to and she now knew it was wonderful. All her dreams about what it might be like, all her desires, had been fulfilled and she felt sated. She felt content.

And from somewhere, tears began to fall.

She couldn’t help it. The tears came unbidden and poured from her like a bursting dam. Before she knew it, she was sobbing, curling in on herself. She felt her grief and her delight pummelling her alternately until she didn’t know what she was crying about.

Tom looked at her, bewildered for a moment, but then he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, just holding her, waiting for whatever it was to pass.

‘Hey, it’s okay. Shh... Don’t cry.’ He stroked her arms, kissing her bare shoulders, then her cheeks and her eyelids.

He continued to be unbelievably kind as she lay there, until her tears were spent and dried upon her face. Then finally she lay still. She was afraid to look at him. Afraid of how he might react.

But he just held her, tightly, in his arms, her limbs still entwined with his. ‘You okay?’

Naomi sniffed and nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘What was that all about?’ he asked gently.

She stared at the wall, unable to look him in the eyes, but knowing she couldn’t tell him what she was feeling. How she felt loved. She knew he wasn’t ready to hear that. Not right now. ‘I don’t know.’

Tom frowned, but he kissed her one more time. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he said. He held her even closer, refusing to let go.

It was almost enough to make her cry again, but this time she was prepared. She was ready for the tears. They might have surprised her before, but she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

She kissed his arm and laid her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, falling in love with its rhythm. Falling in love with him.

She knew she was falling for him. She couldn’t help it. Her emotions had always been quick to assert themselves. She’d always known that when she did, she would fall fast and hard. She was still wary. It had all gone so badly after they had only kissed. Now they’d made love. But maybe this was a good sign. She’d thought that Tom would be happy to get rid of her, but they had just made love in the most beautiful way...

Snuggling into his arm, she closed her eyes and imagined. She imagined a brilliant future for the both of them. Surely it had to go well from now on. Look at how well they fitted together. It felt right.

He kissed the top of her head and she turned to look at him. ‘Okay?’

Tom smiled. ‘I am. You know, I really ought to go and turn the food down. It’s probably overcooked by now.’

Naomi laughed. He was even burning food like her. ‘You should. But maybe you should bring some of it back here. I’m starving, suddenly.’

She saw his gaze travel to her lips and he kissed her once again. ‘For food?’

‘Amongst other things.’

He smiled. ‘Well, maybe I could tempt you again with those...other things.’

Her hand slipped down his body. ‘Tempt away.’

They made love once again and after, lying spent in each other’s arms, their hunger for food overcame them. Naomi watched him walk away to the kitchen, tall and proud, admiring his broad back, neat waist, gorgeous bottom and long, powerful thighs. He was a beautiful man to look at but he was beautiful inside, too. He’d tried to stay away from her because he’d thought he had nothing to offer her, but he was wrong. He had everything to offer. She just hoped that he believed it now, too.

He came back into view with a towel around his waist and carrying a bedsheet for her. She took it, smiling, and stood up to wrap it around her body. ‘Thank you.’

He smiled at her and dipped his head to kiss her again, his lips soft against hers. ‘Can I get you anything? A drink? Something to eat?’

‘Is dinner ruined?’

‘It’s rescuable. I think I might have carbonised the meat, though.’ He gave a short laugh.

‘As long as it’s still edible, I could probably eat a horse.’

‘Maybe we should get dressed, if we’re going to eat?’

Naomi looked down at her bedsheet and his towel and grinned. ‘Let’s not.’

He laughed again and guided her over to the table. ‘Take a seat. I’ll serve.’

She sat patiently and waited, her olfactory senses suddenly going into overdrive at the aroma of the food, and her stomach rumbled.

When Tom brought dinner to the table, Naomi didn’t think it looked burnt at all. The pork was perfect, with plenty of crackling, and the vegetables were soft and buttery just the way she liked. She’d always hated it when people served them al dente anyway.

It was a gorgeous meal, made better by the fact that she and Tom were at peace again. At least for the evening. Everything might change when she moved out. But hopefully, they were moving in the right direction. One with her and Tom together.

She raised her glass in a toast. ‘To good food, good friends and love,’ she said, impulsively.

He clinked his glass to hers. ‘Good food, friends...and love.’ He swallowed his mouthful of wine and gazed at her over the table thoughtfully.

Naomi had never expected the evening to go like this. They’d barely been speaking to each other at the start! But now they were close again and would hopefully remain that way. Even though she was moving out.

It was a grim thought, imagining the new flat. There was so much hard work she had yet to do in order to get it ready, to try and make it as wonderful as this. It was going to take a lot of time and she was going to miss living here. Tom had given her a truly wonderful gift by allowing her to share this beautiful space with him. By allowing her to share his life. His feelings. She glanced over at the piano and wondered. ‘Tom...can I ask you a big favour?’

‘Of course.’

‘Before I go, would you...play for me? Play the piano?’

She saw him glance over at the instrument and take in a breath. He looked uncertain. He looked...doubtful. She wondered if she’d pushed him too far.

But he suddenly got up, brushed at his mouth with a napkin and walked over to the piano, staring down at it, as if he might be about to fight it. As if it were dangerous. But then he bent, pulled out the stool and lifted the lid as he settled onto the seat.

Naomi went over to him.

‘What shall I play?’

‘Whatever your heart tells you to.’

He glanced at her and nodded, raising his hands over the keys before finally, all of a sudden, he touched them and began to play.

The next morning, when Tom woke, he instantly looked to his side and saw Naomi sleeping. She looked so beautiful. Peaceful. With her face in gorgeous repose, her lips looked so soft and her naked body beneath the sheets was so tempting.

It had been a long time since he’d woken up with a woman beside him. The last time had been with Meredith and he’d never expected anyone to take her place, but suddenly there was...

Naomi Bloom.

What the hell do I do now?

Naomi had even mentioned love. It had just been a toast, but he wondered if she had read something into their relationship. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. It was a huge leap from friendship to love, and one he wasn’t certain he could offer.

He wanted to give her everything. Very much so. But love? He didn’t know where he stood on that issue. And Naomi deserved to have someone who loved her and who could fully commit himself to her.

Could that person be him?

He had feelings for her, yes. There was no denying that. Making love to her had been amazing, deep and intense, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to fully hitch his wagon to someone else just yet and give himself so completely. If he did that, if he could do that... He had no idea what would happen if he lost her. Would he be able to go through that turmoil again?

There must be an opportunity here to take things slowly. Naomi would be moving out later today, after her shift, and that would create some much-needed space between them. It would allow them both to get some perspective after living and working in each other’s pockets over the last month or so. Judging by Naomi’s tears, it wasn’t just him who was feeling overwhelmed. He wasn’t sure what to think about that. Although she hadn’t seemed upset, so much as thoughtful. It didn’t seem that the experience had been awful for her.

Their coming together had been something that neither of them had been able to resist. The moment had seemed primal, soulful. But in speaking those words in her toast, Naomi had imbued it with so much meaning. Did she think that Tom loved her? Because he couldn’t promise her that.

He climbed out of bed, being careful not to wake her, and opened the door of his wardrobe. There, on the top shelf, was his one remaining photo of Meredith. It had been taken on their wedding day. She looked out at him from the frame, her head tilted slightly to one side, as if questioning him.

Why is there another woman in my place, Tom?

Her beautiful face amongst the flowers in her headdress and veil was a vision in white. He’d known exactly what he was doing when he’d married Meredith and he’d known exactly what he could offer her. He had been certain. But with Naomi...

What have I done?

Tom closed the wardrobe door and sank his head against the wood. He’d made a dreadful mistake. What he’d done had not been fair to either of them. He’d allowed his physical urge to be with Naomi to override his logical thought processes. The ones that had told him to hold back, to keep a safe distance from her. He’d let Naomi think that there could be a future for them both and that simply wasn’t fair.

He needed to tell her the truth. He owed her that much.

He went out into the living area and instantly his gaze fell to the piano. He’d even played for her. He was such a fool.

He knew they needed to talk. He needed her to wake up, so that he could tell her. So that he could let her know that this was something that would have to be taken slowly or not at all. That this wasn’t love. Not yet. Even if she thought it was.

Tom sat on the sofa and waited.

Naomi woke and rose, grabbing a robe from the back of the bedroom door. All her clothes were in her room. This morning she felt good. Great, even. She and Tom had healed the rift between them and in the bargain she’d also discovered what it was in life that she had always been missing. Amazing passion, intensity, love.

It didn’t matter that she was moving out today. The distance might even be a good thing, giving each of them their own space and putting the relationship on an equal footing. They would be able to date properly, Tom calling round to her, picking her up and taking her out. Their relationship would start just as any other one would. They would start separately, until that moment, when, if everything went right, they would come together and unite, be one.

She used Tom’s small en-suite, splashing some water on her face and drying it before she headed out of the bathroom and into the living space. She smiled when she saw him, ready to wish him good morning.

Tom stood there, by the piano, and it seemed he had been waiting for her. He’d changed into his usual suit and still looked just as magnificent dressed as he did naked.

I’m a really lucky girl.

‘I don’t think we should do this any more.’

She was rocked to her very core. What? What did he mean? Had she missed something? Had something happened whilst she’d slept?

‘You deserve someone who can offer you the world, Naomi. You deserve someone who can fully love you as you deserve to be loved. Until I know if I’m that man, I don’t think we should...do that again.’

She wasn’t sure what to say. She deserved love, yes, but so did he. She knew she could love him, and in fact, she knew she probably already did.

But he’d said he wasn’t sure he could be the man for her. That he thought they needed to wait until he worked out whether he could be with her. Naomi wondered if this was some sort of a cruel joke. She didn’t know what to think. She wouldn’t put up with it; she wouldn’t wait any longer. Not now she knew. Not now she knew what love could be like. The way it felt.

‘And I’m supposed to just hang around until you work that out?’

‘I think we might have rushed—’

‘How dare you, Tom? How dare you? I’ve been nothing but straight with you! I’ve held nothing back from you from the start and what...is that suddenly too much for you?’

He remained calm as he answered her, as if patiently explaining something to a child. ‘We made love, yes, and that was great, but that didn’t mean... I can’t love you, Naomi, the way you expect me to. I just think we should hold back for a bit.’

‘Do you?’ she asked, suddenly furious! She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her. Only last night, she’d been on cloud nine! How could he be so hot one moment and so cold the next?

‘Well, hold back all you want, Tom, but I’m not going to. Life is for living and for being happy! I thought I was going to spend it with you, but if you’re going to suddenly tell me to “hold your horses”, then I’m getting off this ride. I’ve done the waiting game. I’ve been there, done that, and I’m not doing it again for anyone! You either love me or you don’t.’

She waited for his response. She’d not meant to say it straight out like that. Although she didn’t think it was that hard, to be honest. She knew how she felt, but if he didn’t know, then...

Don’t cry again.

She could feel the tears welling. She could feel them burning the backs of her eyes as she stood there, challenging him, but she refused to blink, holding them back.

When it became clear that Tom couldn’t answer her, Naomi stormed into her room and slammed the door. Slumping onto her bed, she began to cry, pulling her pillow over her head so that Tom wouldn’t hear.

CHAPTER NINE

NAOMI SAT HUDDLED in the staffroom. She’d checked the rota. She was on duty till four p.m. So was Tom. They had a whole day to spend together after last night. After their conversation that morning.

How can I look him in the eye?

She couldn’t picture it. She couldn’t imagine him wanting to spend even a tiny second alone with her, after what had happened. She wanted to be a million miles away.

How could she and Tom work together in A&E without it spilling over and affecting everyone else they worked with? What about their patients? She didn’t know if it was possible.

She thought back to last night, to the moment where she’d cried in Tom’s arms. He had made love to her as if she were the most amazing person he knew. As if she were precious and he never wanted to let her go. He’d made her feel special, important. As if she mattered. As if she were someone who deserved every moment of happiness he could give her.

And then that happiness had been crushed!

She sank her head into her hands and groaned out loud, just as Stefan came in with Jackie.

‘Oh, dear! Rough night, was it? Need the hair of the dog?’ Stefan joked.

She looked at him and sighed, shaking her head. ‘No. It wasn’t booze.’

‘Right. Another man, then? Or did you get to the last episode of your favourite box set?’

She smiled and shook her head. It wasn’t as if she could tell them what had happened. ‘Something like that.’

‘Well, you and Dr Williams must be watching the same box set, then, because his face doesn’t look much better this morning, either!’ As she spoke Jackie turned to put her coat in her locker, so she didn’t see the look that crossed her friend’s face.

Naomi wondered how bad Tom was feeling. She’d made her own way into work, so she hadn’t seen him since she’d left this morning. She was still moving out this afternoon; everything was set.

She wondered if the atmosphere would be as bad as it had been after the kiss. Or worse. Then he’d just been standoffish. Distant. Polite. Terse. She fervently hoped that what they’d done last night wouldn’t affect everyone else around them. They all had to work together. And a disrupted team in A&E did not bode well for the rest of the hospital.

But how could she face him after their confrontation this morning?

‘Where is he?’ she asked, trying to sound casual.

‘Oh, talking to Matron, I think.’

She got up to look through the glass in the staffroom window and saw him talking to the matron across the department. He looked awful. He was a little pale and there were shadows under his eyes. A sickly heaviness weighed upon her, but then he turned and noticed her watching and he suddenly stood up taller. He finished his conversation with the matron and then he walked away, without looking back.

Her heart sank.

He’d wanted her. Pure and simple. It had been an agony to keep himself away from her, despite all his attempts to keep distance between them. Naomi Bloom had got under his skin. There was something about her that he just couldn’t ignore.