Tempted By Collection

But it was difficult. It pained him to do it. It was completely out of his character to treat a colleague like this. He knew he was being rude. He noticed the reactions of the other staff when he stormed past. He saw those questioning looks and the furtively raised eyebrows. He’d even heard a few whispering, asking, ‘What’s got into Tom?’

He had changed. He sensed it. He heard it in his voice when he spoke to people, felt it in his demeanour and hated himself whenever he was terse with someone who normally he would be cordial with.

It pained him to think what Naomi must think about his change in demeanour. She had to have noticed. But, of course, she was acting like the consummate professional she was. Always patient. Always kind and considerate. There was always a smile on her face for the patients. She interacted with him as little as was possible, but did so with extreme politeness. For example, there had been that last case, just an hour or so ago, the lady with the broken wrist. He’d confirmed the break to the patient and explained that she would need a cast whilst Naomi had just stood there, looking at her patient. When he had finished and had turned to go, she’d addressed him with a simple, ‘Thank you, Dr Williams.’ Then she’d turned back to her patient.

That was it.

He couldn’t stand it. It all seemed so false. For him, there were plenty of emotions still simmering below the surface since the kiss they’d shared, but was it the same for her?

He knew he shouldn’t let it bother him. That he needed to forget it. He knew getting involved with Naomi was the wrong thing to do.

Because despite the way he was acting, he wasn’t indifferent to Naomi. That was the whole problem. He wasn’t indifferent to her at all. And if she was suffering as well, because of him? Well, they both had to be adults enough to sort that out. He was damned if he was going to let it affect them any longer. Especially at work. Neither of them could afford to be distracted or to make any mistakes. Mistakes could cause serious danger to a patient.

He couldn’t let that happen.

Naomi sank back against the toilet door, her eyes closed, as tears began to threaten to spill.

What on earth was going on? One minute they’d been having fun, just letting off steam, trying to stay upright and the next moment she’d been in Tom’s arms and things had started to get steamy!

How could a single kiss have such power to disturb two people?

Everything had changed the very second his lips had broken away from hers. She could see it in his eyes, the way his expression changed, as if he’d suddenly closed himself off from her, when all she wanted to do was talk about what had happened.

She needed to talk about that kiss! It had felt...monumental! Lip-tingling, body-scorching, heart-poundingly good! She’d never felt that before. Ever. Was this the type of passion she’d read about in love stories? Was this what it was meant to feel like? Because she had all these weird sensations and feelings whizzing through her system and she didn’t know what she was supposed to do with them. Or how she was supposed to react to them. Her body felt alive, out of her control. Whenever she was with him, it was like her body was suddenly on alert, aware, and her heart would pound again, her mouth would go dry, her breathing would quicken. Yet Tom was acting weird and she didn’t know what to do.

Did he regret their kiss?

She so badly wanted to ask him about it, but he was staying out of her way, not giving her the opportunity to talk about it. At home he either stayed in his room, or he went out. At work, he’d begun throwing himself into his cases again, acting cold as he’d been when she’d first met him. She felt like she was losing him.

Don’t do this to me, Tom.

She needed to understand what was happening. Needed to make sense of it. For her, the kiss had been an experience that she would happily experience again and again. She’d not known it was possible to feel that good. To feel that alive! And the fact that she’d felt that with Tom...

Tears began to run down her cheeks, but not from the hurt at being ignored. She was crying because she’d felt something so magical, something she’d never believed could have existed, and now it looked as if she would never experience that again.

She needed to talk to Tom.

They both needed to sort this out.

Naomi was returning the ECG machine to its proper place when Stefan strolled over to her.

‘Hey, Naomi.’

She wished Tom would approach her just as easily. But the one man she wanted to talk to her was still avoiding her like crazy.

‘Stefan.’

‘I was wondering...have you heard of the Spring Ball? For the staff?’

‘Err... I think I’ve seen the signs up for it on the notice boards, yes.’ Naomi noticed Tom emerge from a cubicle and her gaze tracked him as he came over to the desk not far away and sat down, yet again, without making eye contact.

Stefan continued. ‘I thought maybe you’d like to go with me? As my date?’

Naomi watched, but Tom continued to write, focused intently on his work. He probably hadn’t heard what Stefan just said. He was so fixated on blocking out anything to do with her.

Going to the staff Spring Ball wasn’t something she would normally be interested in, but hadn’t she promised herself to be independent? She should be enjoying life. She should be trying out all these things she wouldn’t normally do, now that she had the freedom to do them.

Letting Stefan take her wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted Tom to take her. She wanted to walk in on his arm. To dance with him and enjoy a special night together. But he’d made it very clear that the kiss had been a terrible mistake. That she had been a terrible mistake. And that he wanted nothing to do with her in that way.

Well, fine!

She couldn’t go to the ball alone and she couldn’t see Tom taking her now, so... ‘Sure. That’d be nice. Thank you.’

Stefan beamed. ‘Great! That’s fantastic! There’s...something else actually. Jackie mentioned that you were looking for somewhere to live.’

She glanced at Tom, feeling her cheeks flame with heat, hating the way all of this was making her feel. It felt as if she might cry at any moment. She didn’t want to move out. Not really. But she’d been forced into a corner by the whole situation and things were so difficult with Tom. It was probably best for her to leave. In fact, he’d likely be pleased to get rid of her. ‘That’s right.’

‘I know of a place that’s just come free in my block. I could get you a viewing, if you wanted? It has two bedrooms. Pretty decent. And the rent’s not too high.’

‘Oh...right. Erm...yes, sure, I’ll take a look. Can’t stay where I am forever, can I?’

Tom grabbed his notes and strode off, his eyes cold, his face impassive.

It was clear that he’d heard. Inside, Naomi felt devastated, but she wasn’t sure what else she could have done. He wasn’t even talking to her any more and his rejection of her hurt. She couldn’t stay in his flat now. It had only been meant to be a temporary solution in the first place anyway and she’d been there fast approaching six weeks!

She was doing Tom a favour by moving. She was getting out of his hair, out of his life. It was what he was clearly asking for.

It was what he needed.

And if she was going to protect her heart...then it was what she needed, too.

CHAPTER SEVEN

EIGHT HOURS INTO his shift, Tom was standing in the waiting area of A&E watching his last patient hobble away on a new pair of crutches. Once his patient was safely through the double doors and on their way back home, he turned to hand some paperwork to the receptionist, but was suddenly tapped on the shoulder from behind.

‘Excuse me, are you a doctor?’

Tom turned to see a tall man like himself, who was probably in his eighties, looking as grey as a ghost and sweating slightly. ‘Are you all right, sir?’

‘I don’t feel very well, no,’ the man replied.

His complexion, the sweating and the general look of confusion in the man’s eyes told Tom that this was serious. His instinct went into overdrive and he grabbed the nearest wheelchair and manoeuvred the man into it gently. Then he turned around quickly and whisked the man through to Resus.

‘What’s your name, sir?’ he asked as he pushed the man through the department, avoiding obstacles in his path and trying not to show the patient that he was close to a crash in more ways than one.

The patient didn’t answer but just gazed about him as they passed through corridors and finally the double doors that led to the heart of A&E.

Tom would need assistance. He needed a nurse, someone to help him with this patient and his assessment.

He saw Naomi coming out of the locker room, looking as beautiful as always, if a little paler than usual. His heart sank. He’d hoped he wouldn’t have to ask her.

But he had to.

Patient care came first over personal issues.

‘Naomi? Can you give me a hand?’

He saw the look of shock register on her face, then she resumed her professional air and smiled at the patient, before hurrying along beside them.

He burst through the double doors into Resus and parked the patient in his chair next to an empty bed. Turning to Naomi, he whispered, ‘I think this guy’s having a heart attack.’

He was too close. It reminded him of that kiss. Of feeling her there in his arms, breathing in her aroma, just holding her. And of the delight of her lips upon his. Abruptly—disturbed by the sudden outpouring of this memory—he turned away. ‘Sir, can you get on this trolley for me?’ There were no other patients in Resus. The department had their cases and all the other patients had been sent up to various wards or back home.

The old man stood on wobbly, weak legs, whilst Tom and Naomi held him steady as he turned to sit on the edge of the trolley.

‘I’d better...take off...my shoes...’ The man bent forward to remove his shoes and swayed dizzily.

They both grabbed him quickly, pushing him back against the bed and sweeping up the patient’s legs. ‘Your shoes are fine, sir. Up you go now.’

Tom quickly strode over to the ECG machine and dragged it across the floor. ‘Can you remove your shirt for me?’

The man nodded slowly, as if he was hearing the instructions in slow motion. He seemed unable to focus on anything, with his head bobbing about like a boat at sea, as he slowly tried to coordinate his arms to lift off his jumper and shirt underneath.

It was taking too long. If this man was having a cardiac event, as Tom suspected, then losing all these precious seconds could have a fatal effect.

‘Here, we’ll help you.’ He grabbed the hem of the jumper and shirt and pulled them over the man’s head in one swift movement, so that Naomi could start attaching the leads to the patient’s chest. Thankfully, the man wasn’t too hairy, saving them a few more precious seconds that would have been wasted on shaving him to attach the electrodes. ‘How long have you been feeling unwell, sir?’

‘I don’t... Was in the garden...’ he mumbled, saying something further that Tom couldn’t quite catch.

Naomi was just finishing attaching all the electrodes. She’d worked quickly and expertly, aware of the urgency, but not allowing it to overwhelm her. When she was done, she gave Tom a nod.

‘Lie still for a moment, please, sir.’

Tom pressed the button to start the ECG recording the electrical impulses of the patient’s heart. Whilst he waited for the trace to begin, Naomi wrapped a blood-pressure cuff around the man’s arm and Tom put an oxygen mask over the patient’s face and set it to full flow.

‘Sir? Have you got any allergies? Anything I should know about?’ Tom asked, leaning over the bed, his ear close to the patient’s face so that he could hear an answer. Naomi grabbed the handset for the internal phone system and got through to Reception. ‘Bleep Dr Thomas to Resus, please,’ she instructed.

He glanced at the trace on the ECG machine. There was an acute ST elevation, indicating, along with his patient’s other signs of confusion and waxy, pale skin, sure signs of a myocardial infarction.

He needed IV access and blood samples. He worked quickly, his mind buzzing, all his procedures and protocols running through his head like a military parade—in order, logical, precise.

This was what he loved doing. This was what he thrived on. Pressure, adrenaline, precision. Making decisions, reacting, recording, acting appropriately, saving lives.

‘What’s happening?’ the patient mumbled through the mask, his head thrashing this way and that.

The double doors were pushed open as Dr Thomas arrived. The second he strode into the room, before the double doors had even swung closed again, the patient stopped moving and let out one long, heavy breath.

Naomi smacked the red emergency buzzer on the wall, calling for more assistance, and reached behind the trolley for the lever that would collapse it down flat.

Tom bent low over the patient, checking for breathing, watching for signs of his rising chest, but there was nothing. His fingers reached for the man’s pulse.

Nothing.

In an instant, he stood and brought his fist down on the patient’s chest.

Still nothing. The ECG showed ventricular tachycardia.

Tom hurriedly grabbed the defibrillator pads and placed them onto the man’s chest, pressing the button and making the machine charge its joules ready for the shock. He looked around the patient’s bed, making sure Dr Thomas, Naomi and the rapidly arriving team members were not touching the patient.

‘Stand clear! Shocking!’ He pressed the button again and the patient jerked slightly on the bed.

Naomi felt for a pulse and found one. ‘We’ve got him back.’

Looks of relief were on the faces of everyone surrounding the bed as the patient slowly came to, blinking, before he promptly tore off the mask and vomited over the side railings.

When he’d recovered and been handed one of the cardboard bowls, the patient wiped his mouth and then looked around him at the mass of people. ‘What happened?’

Tom stepped aside, avoiding the mess on the floor, and came to the other side of the patient’s bed. ‘What do you remember?’

‘I was in my garden. I felt...odd. Thought I’d better come to A&E. I can’t remember much more than that.’

Tom had seen that before. For some lucky people, the body prevented the mind from remembering something so traumatic and painful as a heart attack.

‘You’ve had a heart attack, sir. What’s your name?’

‘Edward Stovey.’

‘Well, Edward. You’ve been a very lucky man today.’

‘Have I?’

Naomi reached for the man’s hand and placed it in hers comfortingly. ‘We nearly lost you there.’

Edward sighed. ‘Wouldn’t have really mattered if you had.’

Tom frowned. ‘Of course it would. It would have mattered to us.’ Losing any patient was something Tom didn’t tolerate very well. To him, every loss was a failure. A failure to prevent the cruel twists and turns of fate that were sometimes visited upon good people.

‘I... Thank you, Doctor. But in some ways, for me, it would have been a blessing.’

‘In what way?’

Edward sucked in a gasp of oxygen from the mask before continuing. ‘I’ve been alone for forty-seven years. Ever since my wife died.’

Tom looked away, feeling Edward’s pain.

Naomi, watching him, realised he couldn’t talk for a moment, so she answered the patient instead. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?’

‘Brain aneurysm. She was quite young when it happened. Only thirty-six. We’d not been married long. But she was my dream. My love. I could have met her again today.’

‘You didn’t remarry?’ She stroked the patient’s hand reassuringly with her thumb.

‘No. My Betty was the only woman for me.’

Tom stared at the patient. They’d been in almost the same situation, widowed at a young age. But Edward Stovey had spent the majority of his life alone. Tom was still in the early stages of that path.

He wondered how Edward had coped. He felt suddenly full of questions he wanted to ask this man. But now was not the time. Their patient needed to be transferred up to the cardiac ward so that he could rest and be cared for properly.

He glanced at Naomi. ‘I want half-hourly obs on Mr Stovey, please, Nurse.’

‘Of course.’

Working with her in a desperate situation had been easy. They’d both known what had to be done. Their communication had been minimal, precise. Completely work related. But now their patient was in a better place and there wasn’t the same kind of urgency, even though Mr Stovey’s condition was still critical for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. The chances of another attack, maybe one even worse, were high. But now the immediate crisis was over, it was difficult to talk to Naomi again.

Tom couldn’t be relaxed with her. It led to dangerous places, uncertain futures, pain and grief and guilt. Kissing her had been wrong. He knew it had been wrong, yet still it had been both amazing and terrifying.

He went over to the desk to quickly fill in his report on Mr Stovey so that a complete set of notes could travel up with the patient to the cardiac unit. He placed a quick call through to the ward that would take him and gave a potted history. Luckily they had a bed free and waiting. Once the notes were done, he would be able to call the porters to come and take Mr Stovey away.

Suddenly he sensed that Naomi was near him. He felt her rather than saw her there, and he turned to see her standing behind him, looking at him, as if contemplating whether to speak to him.

He bit the inside of his lip. ‘Thank you for your help just then. I appreciate it.’

‘No problem. It’s what we’re both here for.’

He couldn’t drag his eyes away from her. It was like she had this magnetic pull over him.

What am I doing to myself? Putting myself through this torture?

He remembered that she’d agreed to go to the Spring Ball with Stefan. Unable to block out their conversation, he’d heard them arranging it. And the fact that there was a vacant flat in Stefan’s block.

She’s going to leave.

It had to be the best thing all round. Didn’t it?

Tom turned away and went back to his paperwork. There was no point in going over it all. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could offer her. At least, not what she deserved anyway. She was a wonderful person who deserved happiness and love. Two things he wasn’t capable of giving her.

‘I was thinking about what Mr Stovey said.’ Her voice interrupted his train of thought.

‘Oh?’

‘Yes. About being alone for all those years.’

Tom signed his name on the paper, but didn’t turn around. ‘That’s his choice.’

‘Yes.’ She came and stood by his side, laying her hand upon his to still the pen. He looked up into her stunning eyes. ‘He chose that. I wonder if he was ever given another option.’

Then she walked back over to the patient’s bed.

Tom watched her go, still feeling the intense heat upon his hand where she’d touched him and wondering what she’d meant. Had she been trying to imply something when she’d wondered if Mr Stovey had had another choice?

Was she implying that he had another choice?

Could she have been trying to say that, even though she’d agreed to go to the ball with Stefan, even though she was moving out, they still had another option as to how this could end?

He wasn’t sure he could envision an alternative.

He returned to his paperwork, but he couldn’t concentrate. He kept looking up at her, then at his patient. And back to her again.

Maybe she was right.

But what if she was wrong?

Two days later, Tom checked up on Edward in the cardiac unit. His patient was doing well, becoming more mobile and eating well.

The nurses informed him that Edward had had no visitors and no one had called to check on him either. That news had disturbed him the most.

He wondered how Edward was so alone. Surely a man in his eighties had friends or neighbours who would want to know how he was doing.

So he went to see the patient himself, waiting beside his bed for the older man to stir from his sleep. ‘Good morning,’ he said, when Edward blinked his eyes and pulled himself into an upright position.

‘Morning. Dr Williams, isn’t it?’

Tom nodded. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘I’m feeling good, I think. The doctors say I can go home soon.’

‘That’s excellent news. I’m really pleased to hear it.’

‘Me too.’

‘Yes? I’m glad. Do you have anyone that might help look after you when you get back?’

Edward shook his head. ‘I look after myself.’

‘No neighbours or family to check on you?’

‘I’m on my own. I prefer it that way.’

‘How long has it been that way?’ Tom asked, genuinely interested.

‘Ever since my wife died. She was all I ever needed in life. Since she passed, I’ve pretty much kept myself to myself.’

‘Wasn’t that lonely?’

‘No. I had my work. I kept busy.’

‘What did you do?’

‘I was a taxi driver. Always with people, but, then again, always alone. But that was fine. It kept me busy and I could work for as long as I liked.’

Tom nodded uncomfortably, seeing too many similarities with his own life. Did he really want to be like Edward Stovey, working until his heart gave up? Then, what would happen when he couldn’t work? Or when retirement loomed? How would he keep busy then? Tend a garden? Take up bingo?

‘You never thought to remarry?’

Edward shook his head vehemently. ‘There was only ever one woman for me. One true love. She was my soulmate, Doctor. You don’t ever get to find another once you’ve lost them.’

He nodded. That was what he himself had always said. And he still believed that. How could he pursue something with Naomi when he knew it could never be the same as what he’d had with Meredith? Meredith had been his one true love, just as Betty had been Edward’s.

Tom wondered if there was a chance they could be wrong. What if there was another person for you, as Naomi believed? What if that was true, but he didn’t bother to look for her, or dare to take the risk? Would he be doomed to live like Edward? He shuddered at the thought of ending up in a hospital bed one day, with no one to care for him.

‘How did you know Betty was your soulmate?’

Edward smiled. ‘That’s not an easy thing to answer. It’s different for everyone. But for me, it was because Betty was in my thoughts all the time. She made me feel good. Alive. She made me laugh and she made me cry. When I wasn’t loving her, I was worrying about her, or arguing with her, or laughing with her. I wanted to care for her. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to take away her pain. I wanted to always see her smile. That’s what it was like for me.’ He looked at Tom. ‘Do you have that with someone? Because if you do, then you should embrace it. Accept it. Love is a precious gift not always given to all.’

Tom sat back in his chair and thought hard. Yes, he’d had that with Meredith. All of it. But he was confused, because he’d also experienced it all with Naomi.

He didn’t know how that was possible. Naomi was constantly in his thoughts, especially because he was trying his hardest not to think about her. She made him smile and laugh and he felt comfortable with her. Safe. Despite her clumsiness and her inability to climb ladders, cook safely or stay upright on four wheels. He cared for her and he didn’t want to hurt her. But she was moving on. Agreeing to a date with Stefan. Looking for her own place to live.