Tempted By Collection

By kissing her that night, by allowing himself that momentary weakness, hadn’t Tom hurt her already? Their relationship had already been affected by that one act and he knew she had to be hurting because he was in pain, too. He’d kissed her and now he was enforcing this distance between them, because he thought that was the right thing to do. He’d thought that if he stayed away from Naomi, then he couldn’t hurt her any more.

Because they couldn’t have a future.

Could they?

No.

Tom shook his head and abruptly stood up. All this uncertainty, this toing and froing, was giving him a headache. He forced a smile and held out his hand to shake Edward’s. ‘Well, I just thought I’d come check on you. See how you were doing.’

‘Well, I appreciate that, Doc.’ Edward took his hand. ‘Thanks for saving my life. You thank that pretty nurse for me, too.’

‘No problem. Take care, Mr Stovey.’ He started to walk away and just as he reached the ward entrance he heard Edward call out, ‘Dr Williams?’

He turned. ‘Yes?’

‘I may be wrong, of course. There was someone I could have been with. After Betty. I liked her very much and we could have been happy.’

Tom stared at the man, not knowing what to say.

‘I clung to my beliefs because I wasn’t ready to let go of my wife. I knew that if I let her go, then I wouldn’t have a direction. I wouldn’t have a reason. I became so entrenched in my role as a grieving widower, I forgot that I could actually be someone else.’

Tom saw the meaningful look in his patient’s eyes and understanding dawned on him. He also had two choices. One—take a chance on Naomi and challenge his theory about true love. Or two—remain as Meredith’s widower for the rest of his life.

In one lay an opportunity for happiness, the other would lead to a life of loneliness and heartache.

‘I saw the looks you were giving that nurse, but I also saw how she looked at you. There’s love there, isn’t there?’ Mr Stovey smiled.

It seemed a simple choice.

Naomi watched as Tom walked straight past her without acknowledgement. Without a smile. He was fully focused, head down, reading a file as he walked, his brow lined in thought.

She missed him and she had no idea how that was even possible. They’d only been friends and flatmates for six weeks and yet she missed his smiles, the way he’d listen to her chat as they cooked together, the way he’d steal glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

The kiss they’d shared had been amazing. It had been the best kiss she’d experienced in her whole life and yet...she hated it. She hated it for taking Tom from her.

He’d retreated from her. They’d still shared a car into work and the same flat space, but that had been all. The conversations had gone, the caring had disappeared. In fact, any interaction between them had been non-existent.

Surely there had to be a way back for them. She’d meant for the roller derby to be fun, and at first it had been. They’d laughed so much. She could see him now, holding her hand, laughing, his eyes sparkling, as they’d both stumbled around.

How could she get that Tom back?

Naomi picked up the next patient file card and went to the waiting area to call her next patient through. ‘Amy Smith?’

A middle-aged woman got up and smiled at her and she led her new patient through to a cubicle, pulling a curtain closed behind them.

‘Take a seat. Right! Can you confirm your address and date of birth for me?’

Amy confirmed the details.

‘Okay. So you’ve received an electric shock, is that right?’

Amy nodded emphatically. ‘That’s right.’

‘Tell me what happened.’

She took a deep breath. ‘Well! Lee has been renovating the house, but you know what men are like. They start a million jobs all at once instead of just doing one and doing it well. I’d been asking him to do the light switches for ages—we’ve barely had any proper electricity for a few weeks and he promised he’d do it, only he hadn’t got round to it, so I had a go.’

‘And what happened?’ Naomi smiled through the explanation, cutting to the heart of the matter.

‘I asked him to turn off the electricity and he said he would, but he disappeared off into the kitchen. So I thought he’d done it, only he hadn’t, and when I went to touch the switch with my screwdriver I got this shock and got thrown back a bit.’

Naomi raised her eyebrows. ‘Okay. Which hand received the shock?’

‘My right, I suppose, but both hands were on the screwdriver.’

‘Can I see?’ She examined her patient’s hand, but there were no burn signs or entry points to be seen, so that was good news. ‘How far were you thrown back?’

‘About a metre. I say “thrown”...it might just have been me staggering back, but I felt something and Libby who lives next door said I ought to come and get checked out in case the current passed through my heart or something.’

Electric shocks could be tricky. The effects weren’t always immediately obvious and the more serious shocks could cause electroporation, where cell rupture caused tissue death.

In general, Amy seemed fine, but Naomi knew it was best to check her over just to make sure. ‘I’ll need to do an ECG, Amy. Have you had one before?’ Her patient shook her head. ‘It’s a series of electrodes that I place mainly on your chest and it’ll record an accurate trace of the electrical impulses in your heart. It’ll just make sure everything’s normal and it only takes a few seconds. In fact, it takes longer to set it up.’

‘Right. That’s fine. So you think I’m okay?’

‘We’ll do the trace just to make sure. Have you had any side effects? Nausea? Confusion? Pain?’

‘Nothing.’

‘You didn’t pass out?’

‘No. I’ve been fine.’

‘We’ll do the trace and make sure, then. Can you remove your top half for me?’

Amy began taking off her top. ‘This is all Lee’s fault. I swear, men are more trouble than they’re worth! I don’t see a ring on your finger, Nurse. I hope that means you’re single?’

She nodded. ‘I am.’

‘Take my advice and stay that way. I wish I had. I would have been a lot happier. And my house wouldn’t be such a mess either.’

‘I...er...need to get the ECG machine. I’ll be back in a tick.’ Naomi slipped out of the cubicle and let out a deep breath. Maybe Amy was right. She should stay single and then she’d only have to worry about herself. Look at the mess she’d got into just because she’d kissed Tom. It hurt not being close to him any more and the pain was almost physical.

But that doesn’t stop me wishing we had something more...

She pushed the machine back to the cubicle, closed the curtain once more and performed the trace. Amy’s heart was fine. But she gave her an information sheet of things to look out for and sent her on her way.

‘Thank you, Nurse. Let’s see if I’ve got electricity when I get back!’

Naomi imagined that she would have. Amy might have complained about ‘her Lee’, but Naomi would still bet anything that she loved him. That she’d be heartbroken if there was something seriously wrong with him, or if he tried to leave her.

Or if he completely cut her off. The way Tom had done to her.

That’s obviously what he wants. He’s given me a clear message that he doesn’t want anything to do with me any more.

Admitting that caused a pain in her chest and she had to stand there and rub at her breastbone for a moment, until it went away.

CHAPTER EIGHT

NAOMI SET OFF the next morning with more of a spring in her step, determinedly telling herself inwardly that what she was doing was the right thing. She’d spent a restless night tossing and turning, agonising over her decision. She knew she had to move out, find her own place and stand on her own two feet, as she’d promised herself she would.

Outside, it was slightly overcast as she walked purposefully to the bus stop and stood waiting, checking to make sure she had the right change. The sky darkened even as she stood there and she glanced up at it, worrying, realising she had misjudged the weather and hoping the downpour would hold off until later.

Her wish wasn’t granted. As the bus took her to her destination the heavens opened and she knew that without an umbrella she was going to get soaked in just her small jacket.

Oh, well, she thought. She was only meeting a lettings agent after all.

She walked with her head down against the rain, as she headed for Echo Road where the flat was situated. From what she knew it was in a block of rather old flats. The flat she was looking at today had recently become empty after the tenant who had lived there for many years had passed away. The previous tenant had not decorated or touched the place since the seventies, the agent, Deanna, had said, but Naomi pushed that thought to one side. The important thing was that she could afford this flat. Decor could always be changed. Walls could be painted. As long as it was clean, she didn’t mind.

By the time she got to the flats, her hair was plastered to her face and her clothes were soaked, her wet skirt constantly wrapping itself around her thighs.

Deanna was waiting for her and let her in exclaiming, ‘Oh, look at you! You’re like a drowned rat! At least you’ll be able to dry off for a bit inside.’

Naomi managed a weak smile and followed her in.

The flat was dark with a weird orange wallpaper adorning the walls and she looked around disappointedly at the dark brown carpet and curtains. The kitchen was a melamine nightmare and the bathroom had an avocado-coloured suite and a discoloured linoleum floor. It smelt all musty, too. As if the place had been shut up for months, not weeks.

‘It needs some modernisation, obviously,’ Deanna said. ‘But with a lick of paint and a bit of elbow grease, this place could be a stunning apartment. The sash windows are a real highlight and you could really make a feature of them. Maybe with some white voile and a bit of window cleaner.’ Deanna laughed good-naturedly.

She was being optimistic, Naomi thought. The place needed a bit more than a lick of paint. The previous tenant had been a smoker, judging by the odd tinge of yellow to most things. However, she could see that with a bit of hard work and an awful lot of time she could probably make something of the place. Sadness washed over her as she pictured herself being here. She imagined her hair all tied up in a scarf to protect it, whilst she scrubbed and polished, with the windows open wide to air the place, to get rid of that stale smell.

It wasn’t great. It wasn’t what she wanted. But it would get her away from Tom and all the problems that came with living in his space. She had no choice. It was the middle of March now and she’d been living at Tom’s for too long. If she were to live free of Tom and her feelings for him, then she’d have to move out of the beautiful flat she was in at the moment and take this place instead.

Sighing, she nodded to Deanna. ‘I’ll take it.’

The agent looked surprised. ‘Great! I’ll get everything in motion. The landlord will need a deposit and the first month’s rent in advance.’

‘Fine. I’ll call you later and arrange it.’

‘Fantastic!’ She shook Naomi’s hand. ‘I’m sure you’ll be very happy here!’

She smiled back at her. But it was forced. She could only hope that Deanna was right.

‘This is Andi, sixteen years of age and, around two o’ clock this afternoon, she took a heroin overdose. We’ve administered naloxone and given oxygen.’ The paramedics gave them the rundown as they helped to slide the young girl onto the bed.

Naomi looked at her, feeling sympathy for the young girl. She wondered if the girl had meant to take the overdose, or if she’d not truly known what she was doing. Whatever the case, the medication was just starting to take effect and she was coming round.

Blinking heavily, Andi looked around her and then she suddenly sat up and hauled herself over the side of the bed.

‘Where do you think you’re going, young lady?’ Tom said as he managed to grab her, and Naomi lowered the rail so they could get their patient back onto the bed.

She was glad Tom was there, because she didn’t think she would have physically handled the girl on her own. She was taller than Naomi and quite broad.

‘Get off me! Don’t touch me!’ The girl yanked her arm away from Tom and he backed off, with his hands raised as if in surrender.

‘Okay, okay...’ He looked over at Naomi. ‘I’ve got her parents’ details here, I’m just going to give them a ring. Can you do her obs for me?’

‘Sure.’ This confirmed what Naomi had suspected, that Tom was happy to talk to her when they were working on cases, but that he stuck to the medical, through and through. She accepted it, but she also knew she had to tell him that she’d found a place to live and that she would be leaving at the weekend.

He was bound to be relieved. She couldn’t imagine he would react in any other way, after the way he’d been acting lately.

She nodded and watched him walk over to the phone, but just when her back was turned the teenager bolted from the bed and shot through the double doors of the department.

‘Tom!’ she shouted as she ran after the girl. She knew she wouldn’t get far. The drugs only had a temporary effect.

Andi blundered through A&E, pushing past staff as if she were running from an assassin, and then shot through the waiting room and out of the main door to freedom. It was impressive. Many people got lost in the maze of A&E corridors, but this girl had found her way out even half drugged.

Naomi ran through the doors leading to the outside world and blinked in the sunshine as she searched for Andi’s figure. Then she spotted her, lying flat out on the grass by the waiting ambulances. She knelt down beside her.

Andi was out cold.

Tom caught up with Naomi and came to stand over them both. ‘How is she?’

‘Unconscious, but there’s a strong pulse.’

‘Let’s get her back inside and she can sleep it off.’ He signalled for help to a paramedic who was restocking his ambulance with oxygen and BVMs and together, using a trolley, they got the girl back inside. Once Andi had been parked in a bay and her obs had been done to make sure she was okay, Naomi turned to Tom and laid her hand on his arm before he could walk away.

‘Tom?’

He stopped in his tracks and turned around reluctantly. ‘Yes?’

‘I’ve found a place to live. The flat in Stefan’s block. I viewed it yesterday and I can move in on Saturday.’

‘I see.’

She waited to see if he would give any other reaction. ‘I thought maybe I could cook for you on the Friday night... One last dinner together?’ It would mean a lot to her if they could part as friends. Perhaps he would even be more at ease in her company if he knew that she was going.

‘I’ll cook. My treat,’ he added, although he didn’t look as thrilled by the news as she’d imagined he would. She watched him walk away and wondered if it had really been sadness she’d seen in his eyes, or whether it had all been in her own imagination.

Was this really their last night together?

Naomi sat in her bedroom, deciding upon what to wear. Tom was already busy in the kitchen and the aromas drifting around the flat were mouth-wateringly good.

No fire alarms had gone off, of course, as he was cooking, but there were the dulcet tones of classical music playing from the speakers in the living room.

Naomi wanted to make their last night special. This was their goodbye to one another, after all that had happened after that first clumsy fall off the ladder. Had that really been six weeks ago? She had only meant to have stayed one night, and now a month and a half later...

It really was time for her to go! Talk about outstaying your welcome...

She perused the dresses in her wardrobe, allowing her fingers to fondly stroke the dress she’d worn to the Phoenix riverboat restaurant. No, she wouldn’t wear that one. She wanted something different. Something a bit more...grown up.

She selected a dark green wrap-around dress, then sat in front of the mirror and took her hair up with a few pins and twists. She applied some mascara and lipstick and spritzed herself with her favourite perfume.

Then, taking a deep breath, she went back into the main living area to see what Tom was cooking.

He stood slicing vegetables, dressed in a beautifully white shirt with dark trousers. He looked up as he saw her approach, his eyes widening for a brief moment.

‘You look...nice,’ he said, after a moment.

She’d take nice. At least he was being nice to her, she supposed, but, then again, she was going to be moving out in the morning. ‘Thank you. So do you.’

He began chopping some nuts.

‘What’s on the menu?’

‘A cranberry-stuffed pork roast with seasonal vegetables and a classic lemon meringue for dessert.’

‘Sounds wonderful.’

‘It’ll be about an hour. Can I pour you a drink?’

‘I’ll have whatever you’re having.’

She wandered away from the kitchen area and found herself over by the piano. The cleaner had been yesterday and in the vase sat a beautiful bouquet of delicate pink roses. She stroked the top of the instrument, sad that she’d never managed to hear him play, and realised he’d spotted her doing so. He quickly looked away and busied himself in the kitchen again, pretending that he hadn’t seen.

Moving away, she went over to the sofa and sank onto it, tucking her feet up beside her as Tom brought her over a glass of white wine. She thanked him.

‘My pleasure,’ he said. He was about to head back to the kitchen, when she reached forward and took his hand.

‘Tom...’

His pained expression met her gaze and then he looked away, biting his lip. ‘What is it?’

‘Sit with me. Just for a moment.’

He seemed to think about it briefly, but then he did as she asked and she let go of his hand, allowing him to sit back and be relaxed. She didn’t like being the cause of his pain.

‘I wonder if we could forget the last week or so. The atmosphere between us...it’s been...difficult. I’d really like our last night together to be an enjoyable one. For both of us. Could we do that?’

Tom looked at her and there was such a mix of emotion on his face. Pain. Regret. And something else that she just couldn’t pinpoint.

This was all so strange for her. These strong emotions were so new. She’d never felt so pained before, except maybe for that day when Vincent had finally passed, but even then there had been a small measure of happiness in that moment because she’d been so relieved that he was finally free of his prison. His skeleton had betrayed him and had kept him a prisoner within a body that had no longer worked properly. He’d even been unable to talk towards the end and they’d spent their last few hours together just holding hands, waiting for the darkness to fill his eyes, and when it had... When it finally had, it had almost been a blessing.

But this... These emotions she was experiencing with Tom were so totally different. There was no skeleton keeping Tom prisoner. But his memories, his emotions, were doing the same thing. She really didn’t want to make him feel as if he was betraying his wife’s memory.

‘Since the...what happened between us... I’ve felt...distanced from you and that’s been hard for me. I felt like we were good friends before.’

‘We are.’

‘But since the kiss—’

‘I’m sorry, Naomi. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t wanted, it’s just...’ Naomi could see he was struggling for the right words ‘...when I kissed you, I felt...different from how I’d expected to feel and I was overwhelmed with—’

‘Guilt?’

He shook his head. ‘No. Yes. I’d thought I was in control of my feelings. I’d told myself how my life was going to be and suddenly I was going against all of that. You were in my arms and I just had to kiss you, like I was drawn to you, like you were the air that I breathe.’ He looked up at her and caught her gaze with his own.

She sucked in a breath, amazed at how wrong she’d been. He hadn’t been feeling guilty about his wife at all. Instead, he’d felt guilt at a betrayal of himself. Guilt at losing control.

‘I couldn’t promise you a future. I was angry at myself for being weak and giving in to an impulsive urge.’

She laid her hand on his. ‘Don’t be hard on yourself. We were having fun. Laughing, skating, singing to the music—badly!’ She smiled. ‘We were close. Good friends. Sharing a good time.’

‘It was more than that.’

She nodded. She’d been trying to make light of the situation, to let him off the hook, but he was being honest with her and she appreciated that.

‘There’s something about you, Naomi, that I can’t resist, and that scares me.’

She stared back at him, feeling her heart pound and her blood race. She felt the same way about him, too. That was why his rejection of her had hurt so much. When he’d begun pushing her away, she’d found her mounting feelings for him hard to deal with. But if he had felt the same way, perhaps he’d been retreating from her for his own self-preservation... If he’d felt he could offer her nothing in the way of a future together, maybe he’d thought that it would just be better not to have been with her in the first place.

‘I feel it, too,’ she said softly.

‘You do?’

She nodded.

‘I’ve felt so bad over these past few days. It’s been so hard to stay away from you.’ He reached over and stroked her face and she had to fight the urge to turn and kiss his fingers. She burned for him. Despite everything that had happened. It was as if she’d been through a trial of separation. And now that they were close together again, on the same sofa, within touching distance, she was learning that her original desire was still there, if not stronger than before.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Wasn’t that right? Was her heart involved in all of this? Because if it was, then could this be the love that everyone talked about, sang about? That was a huge, scary prospect, because she’d never loved like this before. It was terrifying because, even if she loved him, she knew she couldn’t have him. Tom had made that plain.

‘We’re together again now. For this last night. Let’s make it perfect. Because I know that we both want each other to be happy.’

‘I would never want to hurt you, Naomi.’ He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she smiled, feeling tears prick her eyes.

‘Then be my friend, if you can’t be anything else.’

Tom wanted to take her in his arms there and then and kiss her until they were both falling into oblivion, but he didn’t move. The power of his self-control surprised him, because he wanted more than anything to touch Naomi, hold her and kiss her.

Since their kiss he’d been tortured. He’d been almost sent crazy by his agonies of uncertainty, wanting to be with her, fighting against his mindset that he couldn’t offer her anything. It had almost torn him apart.

He was starting to falter in his belief about there being only one true love for everyone. What if Naomi were right and there was another person out there who could be his soulmate? And what if Naomi was that person? And he was throwing their relationship away because he was so certain that it was only possible to love one person so much, so certain that all other relationships after Meredith would pale in comparison.