Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys

"The Spanish women are more closely confined, and more amorous than ours. Love is managed in that country by a sort of ambassadresses, who have orders to catechize strangers, to make proposals to them, to conduct them forward and backward; and the ladies undertake the task of making them happy. I was not obliged to go through this ceremony, thanks to the conjuncture. A great revolution had lately placed a prince of the blood royal of France on the throne of this kingdom: his arrival and coronation occasioned festivals at the court, where I then appeared. I was accosted at a masquerade; and a meeting was proposed me for the next day: I accepted the challenge, and went into a little house, where I found only one man mask'd, his nose wrapp'd in his cloak, who delivered me a letter, in which Donna Oropeza put off the party to the next day at the same hour. I returned, and was introduced into an appartment sumptuously furnish'd, and well illuminated with wax tapers. My goddess did not make me wait long. She enter'd just at my heels, and rush'd into my arms without speaking a word, or taking off her mask. Was she ugly? Was she handsome? was what I knew not. I only perceived on the couch, to which she drew me, that she was young, well-made, and loved pleasure. When she found herself satisfied with my panegyricks, she unmask'd, and shewed me the original of this picture, which you see in my snuff-box."

Selim open'd, and at the same time presented the favorite with a gold box, of exquisite work, and richly adorn'd with jewels. "The present is gallant," says Mangogul: "what I esteem most in it," added the favorite, "is the portrait. What eyes! What a mouth! what a neck! But is not all this hightened?" "So little, madam," replied Selim, "that Oropeza would probably have fixed me at Madrid, if her husband, informed of our commerce, had not disturbed it by his threats. I loved Oropeza, but I loved life better still. Besides, my governor was not of opinion, that I should expose myself to be poniarded by the husband, for the sake of enjoying his wife some few months more. Wherefore I wrote to the fair Spanish Donna a very moving farewel letter, which I stole out of some romance of that country, and set out for France.

"The monarch, who then reigned in France, was the king of Spain's grandfather, and his court was justly esteemed the most magnificent, most polite, and most gallant in Europe. I appeared there as a phænomenon. 'A young lord of Congo,' says a beautiful marquise. 'That must be surely very diverting: those men are better then ours. I think Congo is not far from Morocco.' Suppers were given, to which I was invited. Let my discourse have ever so little sense in it, it was found fine, admirable: people retracted, who had at first done me the honour to suspect that I had not common sense. 'He is a charming man,' says another court lady briskly: 'it would be murther to suffer so pretty a figure to return into a wretched country, where the women are narrowly watched by men who are no longer so. Is it true, sir? 'Tis said, that they have nothing. That is very unseemly in a man.' – 'But,' adds another, 'we must keep this great boy here, (for he is well born) tho' he were only made a knight of Malta. I engage, if you will, to procure him an employment; and the dutchess Victoria, my old friend, will speak to the king in his favor, if it be requisite.'

"I soon had indubitable proofs of their good-will, and I put the marquise into a condition of pronouncing on the merit of the inhabitants of Morocco and Congo. I found that the employment, which the dutchess and her friend had promised me, was difficult to execute, and therefore gave it up. It was in this recess that I learned to form those noble passions of twenty-four hours. I circulated during six months in a vortex, where the beginning of an adventure did not wait for the end of another; because enjoyment was the only thing intended. Or if that was slow in coming, or as soon as it was obtained, we ran upon the scent of new pleasures." "What do you tell me, Selim?" interrupted the favorite. "Decency is then unknown in those countries?" "Pardon me, madam," replied the old courtier. "They have scarcely any other word in their mouths. But the French women are no more slaves to the thing than their neighbors." "What neighbors?" says Mirzoza. "The English women," replied Selim, "who are cold and scornful in appearance, but passionate, voluptuous, vindictive; less witty and more rational than the French women. These love the jargon of sentiment, those prefer the expression of pleasure. But at London as at Paris, people love, separate, rejoin to separate again. From the daughter of a lord bishop (these are a sort of Bramins who do not keep celibacy) I passed to a baronet's wife. While he was warmly supporting the interest of the nation in the house of commons, against the attempts of the court; his wife and I had quite different debates in his house. But the session was closed, and madam was obliged to attend her knight to his manor. I then light upon a colonel's wife, whose regiment was quartered along the sea-coast: I afterwards belong'd to the lady mayoress. Ah, what a woman! I should never have seen Congo again, if the prudence of my governor, who saw me wasting away, had not redeemed me from this gally. He counterfeited letters from my family, which recalled me with all possible expedition, and we embarked for Holland: our design was to travel through Germany into Italy, where we expected frequent opportunities of vessels to carry us to Afric.

"We saw Holland only in riding post; and did not tarry much longer in Germany. All the women of rank there resemble important citadels, which must be besieged in form. They are to be reduced, but the approaches require so many measures, there are so many ifs and buts, when the articles of capitulation are to be settled, that those conquests soon tired me.

"I shall never forget the expression of a German lady of the first quality, on the subject of granting me what she had not refused to several others. 'Alas!' cried she mournfully, 'what would my father the great Alkizi say, if he knew that I abandon myself to such a low creature as a Congese.' 'He shall say nothing, madam,' replied I: 'so much grandeur affrights me, and I withdraw.' It was wisely done of me; for if my mediocrity had compromised with her highness, I might have repented it. Brama, who protects the wholesome climes, which we inhabit, inspired me without doubt in this critical moment.

"The Italian ladies, whom we frequented afterwards, are not mounted on so high a pin. It was with them that I learned the modes of pleasure. There is indeed much caprice and whim in those refinements; but you will pardon me, ladies, if I say, that sometimes there is no pleasing you without them. From Venice and Rome I brought some merry receipts before my time unknown in our barbarous country. But I restore all the glory of them to the Italian women, who communicated them to me.

"I spent about four years in Europe, and returned through Egypt into this empire, modelled as you see, and stock'd with the rare secrets of Italy, which I soon divulged."

Here, says the African author, Selim perceiving that the common place language, which he held to the favorite on his adventures in Europe, and on the characters of the women of the countries through which he passed, had plunged Mangogul into a deep sleep, was afraid of awaking him; and therefore drew near to the favorite, and continued in a lower voice.

"Madam," said he, "were I not apprehensive that I have tired you by a narrative, which has perhaps been already too long; I would relate you the adventure, by which I commenced my operations on my arrival at Paris: I cannot think how it has escaped me."

"Tell it, my good friend," answered the favorite; "I will double my attention, and make amends, as much as I am able, for the Sultan's inattention, who sleeps."

"At Madrid," continued Selim, "we had taken recommendations for some lords of the court of France, and at our setting foot in Paris we found ourselves loaded with protestations of friendship. It was then the pleasant season of the year, and in the evenings my governor and I went to walk in the gardens of the Palais Royal. One day we were joined there by some Petits-Maitres, who shewed us the most celebrated beauties, and gave us their history, true, or false, not forgetting themselves on every occasion, as you may well imagine. The garden was already stock'd by a great number of women; but there arrived a considerable reinforcement about eight o'clock. By the quantity of their jewels, the magnificence of their dress, and the crowd of their attendants, I took them for dutchesses at least. I spoke my thoughts to one of the young lords of the company, whose answer was, that he found I was a connoisseur; and if I was inclined, I should have the pleasure of supping that very night with some of the most lovely of them. I accepted his offer, and in an instant he slipt a word into the ears of two or three of his friends, who dispersed themselves into different parts of the walks, and in less than a quarter of an hour returned to give us an account of their negotiation. 'Gentlemen,' said they to us, 'you are expected this night to supper at the dutchess Asteria's.' Those who were not of the party, congratulated us on our good fortune: and after some turns in the gardens, they left us, and we went into our coach, in order to reap the benefit of it.

"We alight at a little door, at the foot of a very narrow pair of stairs, where we climbed up to a second floor; and I found the appartments more spacious and better furnished than they would appear to me at present. I was presented to the mistress of the house, to whom I made one of the most profound reverences, which I accompanied with so respectuous a compliment, that she was almost unhinged. Supper was served up, and I was seated next to a little charming person, who fell to acting the dutchess to admiration. Truly I can't tell how I dared to fall in love with her: but so it was."

"Then you have loved once in your life," interrupted the favorite. "Oh! yes, madam," replied Selim, "as people love at eighteen years of age, with extreme impatience to conclude an affair just broach'd. I had not a wink of sleep all that night, and at dawn of day I set about composing a most gallant letter to my Belle. I sent it, received an answer, and obtained a meeting. Neither the style of the answer, nor the yielding temper of the lady, did undeceive me; and I flew to the place of assignation, strongly perswaded that I was going to enjoy the wife or daughter of a prime minister. My goddess was waiting for me on a grand couch: I threw myself at her feet, took her hand, kissed it with uncommon eagerness, and felicitated myself on the favor which she condescended to grant me. 'Is it true,' said I, 'that you permit Selim to love you, and to tell you so; and that he may, without offending you, flatter himself with the sweetest hope?' On ending these words, I snatch'd a kiss from her neck; and as she was recumbent I was preparing to support the attack with vigor, when she stop'd me, and said: 'Hold, my friend, you are a pretty lad, you have wit at will, you talk like an angel; but I must have four Louis d'or's.' 'What do you say,' interrupted I. – 'I tell you,' replied she, 'there is nothing to be done, if you have not brought four Louis' – 'How, miss,' said I quite amazed, 'is that your full value? It was well worth my while, to be sure, to come from Congo for such a trifle.' And in a moment I put myself in order, hurried down stairs, and left her.

"I began, madam, as you see, to mistake actresses for princesses." "I am quite astonished at it," replied Mirzoza, "surely the difference is very great." "I doubt not," said Selim, "but they were guilty of a hundred impertinences. But what then? A young man, and a stranger too, is not so nice an observer. And I had heard so many bad stories in Congo, on the liberties taken by the European women. – "

Here Mangogul awak'd, and yawning and rubbing his eyes, said: "By the L – d, he is still at Paris. Might one ask you, good Mr. Story-teller, when you expect to be return'd to Banza, and how long I am doomed to sleep: for 'tis proper you should know, my friend, that it is not possible to broach an account of travels without throwing me into yawnings. It is a bad habit, which I contracted in reading Tavernier and other travellers."

"Prince," answered Selim, "it is above an hour since I am come back to Banza."

"I congratulate you thereupon," replied the Sultan; and then turning to the Sultana, "madam," said he, "the hour appointed for the masquerade is come: we will set out, if the fatigue of the journey permits you."

"Prince," answered Mirzoza, "I am ready." Mangogul and Selim slipt on their Domino's, and the favorite took hers likewise: the Sultan handed her to the ball-room where they separated, in order to mix in the crowd. Selim followed them, "and so did I," says the African author; "tho' I had a stronger inclination to take a nap than to see the dancing."

CHAP. XLII.

Twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth trial of the ring.

Masquerade, and sequel of the masquerade

The most extravagant Toys of Banza did not fail flocking whither pleasure called them. Some came in city-coaches, some in public vehicles, and some few on foot. "I should never finish," says the African author, whose trainbearer I have the honour to be, "if I enter'd into a detail of the tricks which Mangogul play'd on them." He gave more exercise to his ring that night alone, than it ever had had, since the Genius presented him with it. He turn'd it sometimes on one, sometimes on another, and frequently on twenty together; and then it was, that the noise they made was ravishing; One cried out with a squeaking voice, "Violins, pray give us le Carillon de Dunkerque;" another in a hoarse voice, "I will have the Sautriots;" "and I the Tricotets," said a third: and a multitude at once call'd for old country-dances, such as la Bourée, les quatre faces, la Calotine, la Chaine, le Pistolet, la Mariée, le Pistolet, le Pistolet, le Pistolet. All these cries were interlarded with a million of extravagances. On one side was heard: Plague take the noodle, let him be sent to school. On another, Must I return then without my earnest? Here, who pays my coach? There, he has slipt away from me, but I'll hunt him till I find him. And again, till to-morrow; but twenty Louis's at least, or there's nothing to be done. And every where in short, speeches, which expressed desires or exploits.

In the crowd, a citizen's daughter, young and pretty, singled out Mangogul, pursued him, and provoked him so, that he turned his ring on her. Then was her Toy heard to cry out: "Why do you fly me? Stop, charming mask, be not insensible to the ardor of a Toy, which burns for you." The Sultan shock'd at this rash declaration, was determined to punish the forward creature. He disappear'd, and sought among his guards some one who was pretty much of his make, gave him his mask and Domino, and abandoned him to the pursuits of the little female cit; who being still deceived by appearances, continued to say a thousand ridiculous things to him, whom she took for Mangogul.

The sham Sultan was no fool, he was one of those who could talk by signs: he made one, which drew the Belle into a lonesome place, where, for above an hour, she imagined herself the favorite Sultana, and God knows what mighty projects were working in her brain. But the enchantment lasted not long. After she had surfeited the pretended Sultan with caresses, she pray'd him to unmask; which he did, and shewed a physiognomy armed with a large pair of whiskers, which did not belong to Mangogul. "Oh! fy," cried the little wench, "fie" – "Fell mine little Shoul," answered the Swiss, "fat you ail? Me tought mee done you kood services enof, dat you no be angry at nowing mee." But his goddess, without answering him, slipt nimbly thro' his hands, and was lost in the crowd.

But even such of the Toys as did not aspire to so great honours, did not fail of lighting on pleasure: and they all took the road back to Banza, thoroughly satisfied with their journey.

As the company was withdrawing, Mangogul overheard two of his principal officers at high words. "She is my mistress," says one, "I have kept her these twelve months, and you are the first who has taken it into his head to tread on my heels. Why do you make me uneasy? Nasses, my friend, apply elsewhere; you will find a hundred lovely women, who will think themselves too happy to possess you." "I love Amina," replied Nasses. "I see none but her, who takes my fancy. She has given me hopes, and you will give me leave to pursue them." "Hopes!" replied Alibeg – "Yes, hopes" – "Zounds, that is not" – "I tell you, Sir, that it is, and I expect satisfaction this moment for the lye you give me." Down they went immediately into the court yard; their scymeters were already drawn, and they were on the point of ending their dispute in a tragical manner, when the Sultan stop'd them, and forbid them to fight, before they had consulted their Helena.

They obeyed, and went to Amina's house, and Mangogul close after them. "The ball has quite spent me," said she: "my eyes are dropping out of my head. You are very cruel folks, to come the moment I was ready to get into bed: but both of ye look very oddly. May I be informed what brings ye hither?" – "A trifle," replied Alibeg. "This gentleman boasts, and even loftily," added he, shewing his friend, "that you give him hopes. Madam, how stands this matter?" – Amina was opening her mouth, but the Sultan turning his ring that very instant, she closed it, and her Toy answered for her – "In my opinion Nasses is mistaken: no, it is not he that madam chooses. Has he not a lusty footman who is a better man? Oh! how foolish these men are in imagining that dignities, honours, titles, names, words void of meaning, impose on Toys. Every one has his own philosophy, and ours consists in distinguishing personal merit, true merit, from that which is but imaginary. With Monsieur de Claville's leave, he knows less of that subject than we; which I will prove.

"You are both acquainted," continued the Toy, "with the marchioness Bibicosa. You know her amours with Cleandor, as also her disgrace, and the high devotion she professes at this day. Amina is a good friend; she has constantly kept up her former intimacy with Bibicosa, and has not ceased frequenting her house, where all sorts of Bramins are met with. On a certain day one of these pressed my mistress to speak to Bibicosa in his favor. 'Pray, what would you have me ask of her?' replied Amina. 'She is a drowned woman, who can do nothing for herself. To be sure, she will be much obliged to you for treating her still as a person of consequence. Believe me, my friend, prince Cleandor and Mangogul will never do any thing for her, and you may freeze in the anti-chambers.' – 'But, madam,' replied the Bramin, 'the affair is but a trifle, which entirely depends on the marchioness: and this it is. She has built a little chapel in her house, doubtless for the Sala, which supposes an Iman: and 'tis this place which I ask' – 'What say you?' says Amina. 'An Iman: you don't consider: the marchioness wants only a Marabou, whom she will call from time to time, when it rains, or when she chooses to have the Sala, before she goes to bed: but an Iman lodged, cloathed, dieted in her house, with a salary, does not suit Bibicosa. I know her affairs. The poor woman has not six thousand Zecchins a year, and you expert her to give two thousand of it to an Iman. Surely this is a strange fancy.' – 'By Brama,' replied the holy man, 'I am sorry for it: for if I had once got to be her Iman, I should soon become more necessary to her; and when one is got thus far, it rains gold and pensions. Howsoever I may appear to you, I am of Monomotapa, and do my duty extremely well.' – 'Upon second thoughts,' answered Amina, with panting interruptions, 'your affair is not perhaps impossible. Pity it is, that the merit you speak of is not known.' – 'One runs no risque in doing good offices to persons of my country,' replied the Monomotapan, 'pray behold.' – He forthwith gave Amina a complete proof of such surprising merit, that from that moment you lost in her eyes half the value she put on you. Well! long live the Monomotapans."

Alibeg and Nasses made long faces, and look'd on each other without uttering a word: but when they had recovered from their astonishment, they mutually embraced; and casting disdainful looks on Amina, they ran prostrate themselves at the Sultan's feet, and thank him for having undeceived them with regard to this woman, and preserved their lives and reciprocal friendship. They arrived just as Mangogul, return'd to the favorite, was relating Amina's history to her. It made Mirzoza laugh, but did not augment her esteem for the court ladies and the Bramins.

CHAP. XLIII.

Selim at Banza

From the masquerade Mangogul went immediately to take rest; but the favorite finding that she had no inclination to sleep, sent for Selim, and pressed him to continue the history of his amours. Selim obeyed, and resumed the discourse in these terms.

"Madam, galantry did not fill up all my time: I snatched some moments from pleasure, which I bestowed on serious occupations; and the intrigues in which I was embarked, did not prevent my learning fortification, riding, fencing, music and dancing; observing the customs and arts of the Europeans, and studying their politicks and military art. On my return to Congo, I was presented to the Emperor, grandfather to the Sultan, who granted me an honourable post in his troops; and I soon was made one of all the parties of the prince Erguebzed, and consequently concerned in the adventures of pretty women. I was acquainted with some of all nations, ages, and conditions, and found very few cruel; whether it was that my rank dazzled them, that my prattle pleased them, or my person struck them. At that time I had two qualities, with which a rapid progress is made in love-affairs; assurance and presumption.

"At first I dealt among the women of quality. I took them in the evening in the circle, or at play at the Manimonbanda's: I passed the night with them, and we hardly knew each other in the morning. One of the occupations of these ladies, is to procure lovers, nay, to decoy them away from their best female friends; and the other, to get rid of them. Thro' apprehensions of ever being unprovided, while they are enjoying the sweets of one intrigue, they squint at two or three others. They possess a number of little arts to attract the man they have in view, and a thousand tricks in reserve, to disengage themselves from their present spark. This has always been, and always will be. I shall name no body; but I knew every woman of Erguebzed's court, who had any reputation for youth and beauty; and all these engagements were formed, broken off, resumed, forgot, in less than six months.

"Disgusted with that world, I passed into its antipodes. I visited the citizen's wives, whom I found dissembling, vain of their beauty, perched on the pinacle of honour, and almost constantly beset with savage brutal husbands, or certain splaw-footed cousins, who acted the passionate lovers with their female cousins from morning till night, and were very disagreeable to me. It was impossible to be alone with these women one moment. Those animals broke in upon us perpetually, disconcerted a rendezvous; and thrust themselves into all our conversations. These obstacles notwithstanding, I brought five or six of these prattling creatures to my intended point, before I finished with any one of them. What diverted me much in their commerce, was, that they piqued themselves, on delicacy of sentiments, and I must value myself on the same; and they talk'd on that subject eno' to make one die with laughing. Besides, they required assiduity of attendance; and in their dialect I was continually deficient in this point. They preached such correct love, that there was a necessity of renouncing it. But the worst of all was, that they had your name eternally in their mouths, and that sometimes one was obliged to appear in public with them, and incur all the ridicule of a city adventure. Wherefore on a fine summer's day I bid adieu to their shops and the whole rue St. Denis for ever.

"People had then the madness of keeping private lodges. I hired one in the eastern suburb, and there successively had some of those girls who are seen and not seen; to whom one speaks, and says not a word; and whom we discard, when tired of them. I frequently mustered a set of friends and opera actresses together, and gave little suppers, which prince Erguebzed now and then honoured with his presence. Ah! madam, I had delicious wines, exquisite cordials, and the best cook in Congo.