Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys

It was natural to think, that a woman, in whom no fault perhaps was to be found, but an excess of goodness, ought to have no enemies. Yet she had some, and very bitter ones. The devouts of Banza found that she had too free an air, and somewhat too loose in her carriage; saw nothing in her conduct but a rage of worldly pleasures; inferred thence, that her morals were equivocal at least, and charitably insinuated this to all those that would hear them.

The court ladies did not treat Egle with greater tenderness. They suspected her intimacies, gave her gallants, even honored her with some great adventures, made her a party concerned in others: they knew particulars, and quoted witnesses. "Good," whispered they, "she has been surprized tête à tête with Melraim in one of the groves of the great park. Egle does not want wit," added they; "but Melraim has too much good sense to be amused with her speeches alone, at ten at night, in a grove." – "You are mistaken," said a Petit-Maitre, "I have walked with her a hundred times in the dusk of the evening, and found my account in it. But à propos, do you know that Zulemar is daily at her toilette?" – "Doubtless, we know it, and that she has no toilette but when her husband is in waiting at court." – "Poor Celebi," continued another, "indeed his wife advertises him by the aigrette and diamond buckles, which she received of the pacha Ismael." – "Is that true, madam?" – "It is strict truth, I have it from her own mouth: but in the name of Brama let this go no farther. Egle is my friend, and I should be very sorry" – "Alas," cried a third sorrowfully, "the poor little creature ruins herself very chearfully. A great pity truly. But twenty intrigues at a time, that seems rather too much."

The Petits-Maitres were not more sparing of her. One related a hunting match, in which she and he lost themselves together. Another, out of respect for the sex, suppress'd the consequences of a very smart conversation he held with her at a masquerade, where he met her. A third made a panegyric on her wit and charms, and ended it by shewing her portrait, which he declared he had from the best hands. "This portrait," said a fourth, "is more like her than that, of which she made a present to Jenaki."

These stories at length came to her husband's ears. Celebi loved his wife, but still with such decency, that no body had the least suspicion of it. He repulsed the first reports, but they return'd to the charge from so many quarters, that he thought his friends more clear-sighted than himself: and the more liberty he had granted to Egle, the more he suspected that she had abused it. Jealousy took possession of his soul. He began by cramping his wife. Egle bore this change of behaviour with the greater impatience, as she was conscious of her innocence. Her vivacity and the advices of her female friends, hurried her into inconsiderate deportment, which made all the appearances turn against her, and had like to cost her her life. The violent Celebi for some time rack'd his brain with a thousand projects of revenge, steel, poison, the fatal noose, &c. and at length resolved on a slower and more cruel punishment, by confining her to his country seat: which is death indeed to a court lady. In a word, orders are given: Egle is inform'd of her destiny: he is insensible to her tears and deaf to her reasons, and she is banish'd two hundred miles from Banza, to an old castle, where she is allowed no other company than two maids and four black eunuchs, who continually watch her.

Scarcely was she set out, when she was innocent. The Petits-Maitres forgot her adventures; the women forgave her her wit and charms, and all the world bemoaned her. Mangogul was apprized, from Celebi's own mouth, of his motives for the dreadful resolution he had taken against his wife, and seem'd to be the only person that approved it.

The wretched Egle had already groaned near six months under her exile, when Kerfael's adventure happened. Mirzoza wish'd she might prove innocent, but durst not indulge those flattering hopes. However, she one day said to the Sultan: "Prince, might not your ring, which has saved Kerfael's life, put an end to Egle's banishment? But I forget myself: in order to that, her Toy should be consulted; and the poor recluse is dying with grief two hundred miles hence." – "You interest yourself much," answered Mangogul, "in Egle's fate." "Yes Prince," said Mirzoza; "especially if she is innocent." "You shall have tydings of this affair within an hour," replied Mangogul. "Do you not remember the properties of my ring?" – At these words, he went into the garden, turn'd his ring, and in less than fifteen minutes was in the park of the castle wherein Egle dwelt.

There he espied Egle alone and overwhelm'd with sorrow: her head was leaning on her hand, she was tenderly repeating her husband's name, and with her tears she was watering the green turf, on which she sate. Mangogul drawing near turn'd his ring on her, and Egle's Toy said in a mournful strain: "I love Celebi." The Sultan waited for the sequel; but as it came not, he had recourse to his ring, which he rubb'd two or three times against his hat, before he levell'd it on Egle: but his labour was vain. The Toy repeated: "I love Celebi," and stop'd short. "There is a very discreet Toy," said the Sultan. "Let us try once more, and ply it closer." Whereupon he gave to his ring all the energy, which it was capable of receiving, and turn'd it nimbly on Egle: but her Toy continued mute. It either constantly kept silence, or broke it only by repeating these plaintive words: "I love Celebi, and have never loved any other man."

Mangogul, being thoroughly satisfied, returned to Mirzoza in fifteen minutes. "What, Prince," said she, "return'd already. Well, what have you learnt? Do you bring fresh matter for our conversations?" "I bring nothing," answered the Sultan. "What! nothing?" – "Nothing at all. I never knew a Toy so silent: I could get nothing from it but these words. 'I love Celebi, I love Celebi, and have never loved any other man.'" "Ah! Prince," replied Mirzoza with vivacity, "what do you tell me? What happy news! There is one virtuous woman found at last. Will you suffer her to remain longer miserable?" "No," answered Mangogul: "her banishment shall be at an end, but have you no apprehensions that it may be at the expence of her virtue? Egle is chaste, but consider, my heart's delight, what you require of me; to re-call her to my court, in order that she may continue so: however you shall be satisfied."

The Sultan sent for Celebi immediately, and told him; that having made a strict inquiry into the reports spread abroad concerning Egle, he had found them false and calumnious, and commanded him to bring her back to court. Celebi obey'd, and presented his wife to Mangogul: she was going to throw herself at his highness's feet, but the Sultan stopping her said: "Madam, thank Mirzoza. Her friendship for you determined me to clear up the truth of the facts imputed to you. Continue to embellish my court; but remember that a pretty woman sometimes does herself as much mischief by acts of imprudence, as by adventures."

The very next day Egle waited on the Manimonbanda, who received her with a smile. The Petits-Maitres redoubled their insipidities towards her, and the women all ran to embrace and give her joy, and began again to tear her in pieces.

End of the First Volume

CHAP. XXXI.

Was Mangogul in the right?

From the time that Mangogul had received the fatal present of Cucufa, the ridicules and vices of the sex were become the eternal subject of his jokes: he was never done with them, and his favorite's patience was frequently quite tired out. Now, two cruel effects of this teizing on her, as well as on many others, was to put her into a bad humor, and to sour her temper. At those times woe to him that came near her: she made no distinction of persons, and the Sultan himself was not spared.

"Prince," said she to him, in one of these peevish fits, "tho' you are so knowing in many things, perhaps you do not know the news of the day." – "What is it?" said Mangogul. – "It is, that every morning you get by heart three pages of Brantome, or of Ouville: people do not determine which of these two profound writers you prefer" – "They are mistaken, madam," answered Mangogul, "'tis Crebillon, that" – "O, pray don't excuse yourself from that sort of reading," interrupted the favorite. "The new calumnies that are invented on us, are so insipid, that it is better to revive the old. Truly there are very good things in this same Brantome: if to these little stories you add three or four chapters of Bayle, you alone will in a thrice have as much wit as the marquiss D' – , and the Chevalier de Mouhi. That would spread a surprising variety on your conversation. When you have equipped the ladies from head to foot, you might then fall on the Pagoda's; and from the Pagoda's you might return on the women. In truth, all that you want to make you quite diverting, is a small collection of impieties."

"You are in the right, madam," answered Mangogul, "and I will take care to lay in a good stock. He who is afraid of being duped in this world and the next, cannot be too much upon his guard against the power of the Pagoda's, the probity of men, and virtue of women."

"Then, in your opinion, this virtue is a very ambiguous thing?" replied Mirzoza. "More so than you imagine," answered Mangogul.

"Prince," returned Mirzoza, "you have a hundred times talk'd to me of your ministers as the honestest men in Congo. I have so often patiently heard the praises of your Seneschal, of the governors of your provinces, of your secretaries, of your treasurer, in a word, of all your officers, that I am able to repeat them by memory word for word. It is strange, that the object of your tenderness should be the only person excepted from the good opinion, which you have conceived of those who have the honor of being near your person."

"And who told you that it is so?" replied the Sultan. "Be perswaded, madam, that the discourses, true or false, which I make on women, do by no means concern you, unless you think proper to represent the sex in general. – "

"I should not advise madam to that," added Selim, who was present at this conversation. "She would gain nothing by it but defects."

"I do not," answered Mirzoza, "relish compliments which are addressed to me at the expence of my sex. When any one takes it into his head to praise me, I could wish that nobody suffered by it. Most of the fine speeches which are offered to us, are like the sumptuous entertainments which your highness receives from your Pacha's: they are always at the expence of the public."

"Let us pass that by," said Mangogul. "But sincerely, are you not convinced that the virtue of the women of Congo is but a mere chimæra? Pray observe, my soul's delight, what the present fashionable education is, what examples mothers set to their daughters, and how the head of a pretty woman is filled with the notion, that to confine herself to domestic affairs, to manage her family, and keep to her husband, is to lead a dismal life, to be eat up with vapors, and to bury herself alive. And at the same time we men are so forward, and a young unexperienced girl is so raptured with being attack'd. I have said that virtuous women were rare, excessively rare; and far from changing my sentiment, I might add freely, that 'tis surprizing they are not more so. Ask Selim what he thinks of the matter."

"Prince," answered Mirzoza, "Selim has too great obligations to our sex, to tear them in pieces without mercy."

"Madam," said Selim, "his highness, who could not possibly meet with cruel women, ought naturally to think of the sex as he does: and you, who have the good nature to judge of others by yourself, can hardly have any other sentiments than those which you defend. I will own however, that I am apt to believe there are women of sense, to whom the benefits of virtue are known by experience, and whom a serious reflection has convinced of the ill consequences of an irregular life; women happily born, well educated, who have learn'd to feel their duty, who love it, and will never swerve from it."

"And not to lose ourselves in speculative reasoning," added the favorite, "is not Egle, with all her sprightliness and charms, a model of virtue? Prince, you cannot doubt it, and all Banza knows it from your mouth: now, if there be one virtuous woman, there may be a thousand."

"Oh! as to the possibility," said Mangogul, "I dispute it not."

"But if you allow it possible," replied Mirzoza, "who has revealed to you, that they do not actually exist?"

"Nothing but their Toys," answered the Sultan. "And yet I grant that this evidence does not come up to the strength of your argument. May I be transform'd into a mole, if you have not borrowed it from some Bramin. Order the Manimonbanda's chaplain to be called, and he will tell you that you have proved the existence of virtuous women, much as he demonstrates that of Brama, in Braminology. A propos, have you not taken a course in that sublime school, before you entered the Seraglio?"

"No ill-natured jokes," replied Mirzoza. "I do not draw my conclusion from possibility: I ground it on a fact, on an experiment."

"Yes," continued Mangogul, "on a lame fact, on a single experiment; while, to your certain knowledge, I have a multitude of trials for my opinion: but I will not sour your temper by farther contradictions."

"It is a favor," said Mirzoza, "that after two hours teizing, you cease to persecute me."

"If I have committed the fault," answered Mangogul, "I will endeavour to make amends for it. Madam, I give up all my past advantages; and if, in the trials which I shall hereafter make, I light on a single woman really and constantly virtuous." – "What will you do?" interrupted Mirzoza smartly.

"I will declare to the world, if you require it, that I am charmed with your reasoning on the possibility of virtuous women; I will support the reputation of your logic with all my might; and will give you my castle of Amara, with all the Saxon Porcelaines which adorn it; even without excepting the little Sapajou, or red-faced monkey in Enamel, and the other valuable nick-nacks, which I had out of the cabinet of Madame de Verue."

"Prince," says Mirzoza, "I will be content with the Porcelaines of the castle, and the little monkey."

"A bargain," replies the Sultan, "Selim shall be our judge. I only desire a little respite before I examine Egle's Toy. The court air, and her husband's jealousy, must be allowed time to operate."

Mirzoza granted a month to Mangogul; which was double the time he required: and they parted equally filled with hope.

The city of Banza also would have been full of wagers on either side, if the Sultan's promise had been divulged. But Selim kept the secret, and Mangogul clandestinely prepared for winning or losing. As he was quitting the favorite's appartment, he heard her call out to him from her closet: "Prince, and the little monkey." "And the little monkey," answered Mangogul, and went out. He was going directly to the private lodge of a senator, whither we will attend him.

CHAP. XXXII.

The fifteenth trial of the Ring.

Alphana

The Sultan was not ignorant, that the young lords of the court had private lodges; but he was lately informed, that those retreats were likewise used by some senators. He was much surprized at this. "What do they do there?" said he to himself. (For in this volume he will keep up the custom of monology, which he contracted in the first.) "I should think, that a man, whom I have entrusted with the tranquillity, fortune, liberty, and lives of my people, ought not to have a private lodge. But perhaps a senator's private lodge is quite different from that of a Petit-Maitre. Can a magistrate, before whom the interests of the greatest of my subjects are discussed, who holds the fatal urn, out of which he is to draw the widow's lot, can he, I say, forget the dignity of his state, and the importance of his duty; and while Cochin fatigues his lungs in vain by carrying the cries of the orphan to his ear, can he be studying subjects of gallantry, which are to be ornaments over the door of a place of secret debauchery? That cannot be. – However, let us see."

He said, and departed for Alcanto, where the senator Hippomanes has his private lodge. He enters, walks round the appartments, and examines the furniture. Every thing has a gay appearance. The private lodge of Agefilas, the nicest and most voluptuous of his courtiers, is not more elegant. He was on the point of resolving to leave it, without knowing what to think; (for besides all the rich beds, the looking-glass alcoves, the soft sofa's; the cabinet of exquisite liquors, and every thing else, were silent witnesses of what he desired to know:) when he espied a corpulent figure stretched on a couch, and sunk in a deep sleep. He turn'd his ring on her, and from her Toy he obtained the following anecdotes.

"Alphana is the daughter of a senator. If her mother's life had been shorter than it was, I should not have been here. The immense wealth of the family was squandered by the old fool: and she left little or nothing to her four children, three boys and a girl, whose Toy I am, alas! to my great misfortune, and to be sure for my sins. How many indignities have I suffered! How many more still remain to be borne! The world said, that the cloister agreed very well with the fortune and figure of my mistress; but I found it did not suit with me: I preferred the military art to the monastic state, and I made my first campaigns under the Emir Azalaph. I perfected myself under the great Nangazaki. But the ingratitude of the service disgusted me, and made me quit the sword for the gown. Thus I am upon the point of belonging to a little scoundrel of a senator, quite bloated with his talents, his wit, his figure, his equipage, and his birth. I am now two hours in waiting for him. To be sure he will come, because his gentleman has apprized me, that when he comes, it is his madness to let people wait a long time."

Alphana's Toy was thus far advanced, when Hippomanes arrived. At the bustle of his train, and the caresses he bestowed on his favorite grey-hound, Alphana awoke. "Oh! are you there, my queen?" says the little president. "'Tis very difficult to come at you. How do you like my little lodge; it is as good as some others, is it not?"

Alphana putting on a bashful, shy, distressed air, "as if we had never seen a private lodge before," says her Toy, "and as if I had no share in her adventures," cried out in a mournful manner. "My lord president, I take an unaccountable step for you. The passion that drags me to you must surely be very violent, since it shuts my eyes to the dangers which I incur. For what would the world say, if there was any suspicion of my being here?"

"You are right," answered Hippomanes; "your proceeding is liable to misinterpretations. But you may rely on my discretion."

"But," replied Alphana, "I rely also on your conduct."

"Oh! as to that," says Hippomanes, "I shall be very modest: and how is it possible not to be as devote as an angel in a private lodge? In truth, you have a charming neck – "

"Ha' done," says Alphana, "you break your word already."

"Not at all," replies the president: "but you have not answered my question. What do you think of this furniture?" And then turning to his grey-hound, "come hither, Folly, give me thy paw, my child. Folly is a good girl. – Will madam be pleased to take a turn in the garden? Let us walk on my terrass, it is a charming one. I am overlooked by some of my neighbours, but possibly they will not know you. – "

"My lord president, I am not curious," says Alphana with an air of dudgeon. "I think we are better here."

"Just as you please," answers Hippomanes. "If you are tired, there is a bed. If you have the least inclination, I advise you to try it. Young Asteria, and little Phenice, who are great judges, assure me that it is a good one." While Hippomanes was talking thus impertinently to Alphana, he pull'd off her gown by the sleeves, unlaced her stays, untied her petticoats, and disengaged her two clumsy feet from two little slippers.

When Alphana was almost naked, then did she perceive that Hippomanes was undressing her. – "What are you doing?" cryed she quite surprized. "President, you don't consider. I shall be angry in earnest."

"Ah, my queen," answered Hippomanes, "to be angry with a man who loves you as I do, would be such an oddity as you are not capable of. May I presume to entreat you to walk to this bed?"

"To this bed," replied Alphana. "Ah! my lord president, you abuse my tenderness. I to go into a bed! I, into a bed!"

"No, no, my queen," answered Hippomanes. "That is not the thing, who desires you to go to it. But you must, if you please, suffer yourself to be conducted to it: for you may easily conclude from your size, that I cannot be in the humor of carrying you to it." – Nevertheless he grasped her about the waist, and making some efforts, "Oh how weighty she is," says he. "But, my child, if you do not lend a helping hand, we shall never reach it."

Alphana was sensible that he spoke truth, lent her assistance, compassed getting on her legs, advanced towards that bed, at which she had been so scared, partly on her own feet, and partly on the shoulders of Hippomanes, to whom she pantingly said: "Surely I must have been a great fool to come hither. I confided in your good conduct, and your extravagance is quite unreasonable." – "Not at all," answered the president, "not at all. You see that what I do is decent, very decent."

'Tis probable that they said many other genteel things of this sort; but as the Sultan did not think proper to spend more time in attending their conversation, those things are lost to posterity. What a pity!

CHAP. XXXIII.

Sixteenth trial of the Ring.

The Petits-Maitres

Twice a week the favorite kept a drawing room. The preceding evening she named the women whom she would willingly see, and the Sultan gave the list of the men. The company always came richly dress'd. The conversation was either general, or particular. When the amorous history of the court fail'd of furnishing real diverting adventures, stories were invented, and necessity sometimes compelled them to run into bad tales; which were called a continuation of the Arabian nights entertainments. The men had the privilege of saying all the extravagant things that came into their heads, and the women that of knotting, while they gave ear to them. At these meetings, the Sultan and his favorite put themselves on a level with their subjects: their presence gave no sort of check to whatever could amuse; and people seldom found the time tedious. Mangogul had learned early in his life, that pleasures are not to be found above the foot of the throne; and no man descended from it with better grace, or knew how to put off majesty more à propos.

While he was surveying the private lodge of the Senator Hippomanes, Mirzoza waited for him in the rose-colour'd salon, with the youthful Zaide, the chearful Leocris, the lively Serica, Amina and Benzaira, the wives of two Emirs, Orphisa the prude, and Vetula the great Seneschal's lady, temporal mother of all the Bramins. It was not long before he appeared. He enter'd attended by count Hannetillon and the chevalier Fadaes. Alciphenor an old rake, and his disciple young Marmolin followed him; and two minutes after, arrived the Pacha Grifgrif, the Aga Fortimbek, and the Selictar Velvet-Paw. These were the most absolute Petits-Maitres of the court. Mangogul call'd them together designedly. Having heard a thousand stories of their gallant exploits, he resolved to be informed in such a manner as might banish all future doubt. "Well, gentlemen," says he to them, "ye whom nothing escapes, that passes in the empire of gallantry, what news from thence? how far are the Speaking Toys got."

"Sir," replied Alciphenor, "the racket they make encreases daily; and if it continues, we shall soon not be able to hear ourselves. But nothing is so diverting as the indiscretion of Zobeida's Toy. It has given her husband a catalogue of her adventures." "And a prodigious one," says Marmolin: "it mentions five aga's, twenty captains, almost an entire company of janissaries, twelve Bramins: and they say that I am named too, but that is a mere joke." "The best past of the affair is," added Grifgrif, "that the affrighted husband ran away with his fingers in his ears."