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“You mean Ross and Buck?”
“That’s right. And a few others. It’s my favorite place. I can’t let just anybody come up here. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a secret.”
Johnny looked over at him with those serious dark eyes. “Thanks for bringing me. I’m having the funnest time of my whole life.”
Chapter Six (#ulink_6626f370-266b-5286-9a78-135cf9834503)
It was the second time Tracy’s son had expressed the very sentiment she felt. She had to admit she was enjoying this trip a lot more than she’d anticipated. But along with this newfound excitement, her guilt was increasing.
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t the guilt some war widows experienced, making them cling to the memory of their husbands. The love she and Tony shared would always be in her heart. They’d talked about the possibility of his dying, and she’d promised him she would move on if—heaven forbid—something happened to him. Since that horrible day, she’d been doing her best to make a full life for herself and Johnny.
This was a different kind of guilt, because she didn’t feel guilty about enjoying Carson’s company. To be honest, she was attracted to him. Very attracted.
Her biggest fear was that he’d already sensed it. Last night he’d sounded relieved after they’d had their talk. As he’d explained, when he and his friends had put their plan into action, they’d done it purely to brighten up the lives of a few families affected by the war.
Neither Carson nor his friends wanted or expected some love-starved woman with a child to come on to them because she’d lost her husband. The thought had to have crossed his mind when they’d first met at the airport.
According to Carson, the three men had been bachelors when they’d joined the Marines. And they were still living that lifestyle outside of this special project that was bringing so much joy to Johnny’s life. Since Tracy couldn’t help what they were thinking, there was no point in being embarrassed. What she needed to do was be friends with all of them, the way she was with Tony’s brothers. That was going to be especially hard when she was around Carson, but she could do it. And she would!
“Mom—there’s the lake!”
Johnny’s exultant cry jolted her back to the moment. They’d moved on ahead of her. “Good for you for finding it! Does it look like Lake Erie with lots of barges and a lighthouse?” she teased.
“Heck, no. It’s little, with pine trees all around it.”
She smiled. “Can you see any fish?”
“Can you?” she heard him ask Carson. Oh, Johnny. Her son was so predictable.
“See all those dark things moving around?”
“Yeah.”
“The lake is full of rainbow trout.”
“I don’t see their rainbows.”
“You will when you catch one.” Carson was ever the patient teacher. “We’ll cook it for your dinner tonight.”
“Won’t there be anything else to eat?” was her son’s forlorn reply.
Carson’s laughter warmed new places inside her. “We’ve got lots of stuff.”
“That’s good.”
Tracy drew closer to them.
“Hey—I can see some tents and a table! Someone else is camping here.” He didn’t sound happy about that.
Carson laughed again. “Yup. That someone is you, partner. Those tents have already been set up for us.”
“Whoa!”
“Maybe you’d like to sleep in that three-man tent with Sam and Rachel.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot they were coming. Where will you sleep?”
“Right next to you guys in my tent.”
“What about my mom?”
“There’s a tent for her and one for the Harrises. The one on the end is for Buck.”
“But there are six tents.”
“Yup. The extra one is where we keep the food and all the supplies we’ll need. After we take care of the horses, we’ll fix ourselves some lunch.”
“Goody.”
Their entertaining conversation was music to Tracy’s ears. She finally broke through the heavy cover of pines to discover a small body of deep green water bathed by the sun. “This place looks enchanted.”
While Carson put out some hay and water for the horses, he slanted her a hooded look. “It is.”
She felt a shiver run through her. They’d already dismounted and he’d removed the saddles and bags.
“Come over here, Mom. I’ll tie your reins to this tree the way Carson showed me.”
“Such wonderful service deserves a kiss.” She got down off her horse and planted one on her son’s cheek.
“The latrine is around the other side in the trees, away from the camping area,” he informed her.
Latrine. Since their arrival in Jackson, Johnny’s vocabulary must have increased by a couple of hundred words at least. He was becoming a veritable fount of knowledge.
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Without being asked, Tracy picked up their bags. “I’ll take these.”
“Put mine in the big tent.”
“Didn’t you forget to say something?”
“Oh, yeah. Please. I forgot.”
“I know, but it’s so much nicer when you remember.”
Carson’s eyes smiled at her before she started walking along the tree-lined shore toward the tents pitched some distance away. She undid the tie on the screen and entered the big one where three sleeping bags and extra blankets were rolled out. It was getting hot out, but the temperature inside was still pleasant.
She emptied his saddlebag and put his things in little stacks against the side of his sleeping bag. Then she left and picked out one of the other tents for herself. It didn’t take her long to unpack.
When she emerged, she discovered Carson putting out picnic food on the camp table beneath some pine boughs to give them shade. Johnny had the duty of setting up the camp chairs.
Tracy approached them and looked all around. “With the smell of the pines so strong, this is what I call heaven on earth.” She eyed her son. “Do you know how lucky we are, Johnny? Can you believe Carson and his friends have gone to all this trouble for us? We’re going to have to think of something really special to do for them.”
“I know.”
They settled down to eat.
“Guess what?” Carson said after swallowing his second roast beef sandwich. “You’ve already done something special.”
Johnny stopped chewing on his sandwich. “No, we haven’t.”
“Want to bet? You accepted our invitation to come. We hoped you and your mom would like the idea.” He darted her a penetrating glance. “That’s all the payment we needed.”
Carson.
“At first I didn’t want to.” Her son was nothing if not honest.
“I don’t blame you. I’d have been scared to go someplace where I’d never been before. I think you were very brave to come.”
“I’m not brave, but my mom is.”
“She sure is.” In an unexpected gesture, Carson pulled out his phone and clicked on the photo gallery. “Now take a look at this.” He handed it to Johnny.
“That’s me riding Goldie!”
“Yup. How many kids do you know your age who can go on a trail ride in the mountains on their own pony?” Tracy hadn’t seen him take a picture. She was amazed. Had he taken one of her, too?
Johnny’s brown gaze switched from the photo to study Carson. “I don’t know any.”
“Neither do I. So don’t ever tell me Tony Baretta’s son isn’t brave.” Carson’s expression grew serious. “You’re just like your dad and I’m proud to know you.”
The conviction in his tone shook Tracy to the core and affected Johnny to the point of tears. They didn’t fall, but they shimmered on the tips of his lashes with every heartbeat. “I’m proud of you, too. You’re sick all the time and still do everything.”
If Tracy wasn’t mistaken, Carson’s eyes had a suspicious sheen. As for herself, a huge lump had lodged in her throat.
“If everyone’s finished eating, what do you say we put the rest of the food in the bear locker and go for a swim? Remember we have to fasten it tight. Occasionally a black bear or a grizzly forages through this area, but unlikely you’ll ever see one.”
Johnny looked at Tracy. “Don’t worry, Mom. Carson brought bear spray. He’ll keep us safe.”
She lifted her gaze to a pair of blue eyes that blinded her with their intensity. “I have no doubt of it.”
The three of them made short work of cleaning up and went to their respective tents to change into their bathing suits. When Johnny was dressed, he came running with his beach sandals and towel to her tent. She’d put a beach cover-up over her one-piece blue floral suit.
Before leaving Sandusky, she’d searched half a dozen shops to find something modest. Other women didn’t mind being scantily clad, but she wasn’t comfortable walking around like that.
Once she’d covered them in sunscreen, she grabbed her towel and they both left the tent in search of Carson. He’d beaten them to the shore and was blowing up a huge inner tube with a pump. Johnny squealed in delight.
The only thing more eye-catching than the sight of this pristine mountain lake was Carson Lundgren dressed in nothing more than his swimming trunks. Tracy had trouble not staring at such an amazing, hard-packed specimen of male beauty.
She felt his keen gaze play over her before he said, “Johnny? I want you to wear the life jacket I left on the table. Even if you’re a good swimmer, I’ll feel much better if you wear it while we’re out here. Don’t be fooled by this lake. You can only wade in a few feet, then it drops off fast to thirty feet.”
Johnny’s dark head swung around. “Okay.” He ran over and put it on. Tracy made sure he’d fastened it correctly.
“I think we’re ready!” Carson announced. He tossed the tube in the water, then dove in and came up in the center with a lopsided smile that knocked her off balance. “Come on in, and we’ll go for a ride.”
Johnny needed no urging and started running. Tracy threw off her cover-up and followed him in. “Oh—this water’s colder than I thought!”
“It’s good for you,” Carson said, and then promptly coughed. The moment was so funny she was still laughing when he helped her and Johnny to grab on to the tube. Once they were all comfortable, he propelled them around.
They must have been out there close to an hour, soaking up the sun and identifying wildlife. Sometimes they swam away from the tube. Carson flew through the water like a fish and played games with them. When everyone was exhausted, they went back to shore to dry off and get a cold drink.
“I think it’s time for a little rest.”
“But Mom, I have to go talk to Goldie. She’s missed me.”
“You can see her in a little while. Come on. It’s time to get out of the sun.”
“What are you going to do, Carson?”
He’d been coughing. “I’ve got a few phone calls to make, partner. It won’t be long before Buck arrives with the Harrises.”
Tracy didn’t know how he was able to spend so much time with them when he had the whole operation of his cattle ranch to worry about. “Thank you for another wonderful day, Carson.”
He flicked her a shuttered glance. “It’s only half over.”
She knew that, yet the fact that he’d mentioned it filled her with fresh excitement. With an arm around Johnny, Tracy walked him to her tent, but stopped by his to get him a change of clothes. Once he was dressed, he lay down on top of her roomy sleeping bag. After she got dressed, she joined him. In two seconds, he was asleep.
Tracy lay there wondering if Carson’s calls were all business. Since he’d come home from war, surely he’d been with women he’d met in Jackson or through his business contacts, even if it hadn’t been an official date. That would go for his friends, too. Any woman lucky enough to capture his interest would be wondering why he hadn’t been as available lately.
When she realized where her thoughts had wandered, she sat up, impatient with herself for caring what he did in his off time. She was supposed to be thinking of him as a friend, but her feelings weren’t remotely like anything she felt for her brothers-in-law.
He would have been a charmer during the years he was competing in the rodeo. He had to be driving a lot of women crazy, these days, too. Carson was driving one woman crazy right here on the ranch and she didn’t know what to do about it. Tracy had to admit those blue eyes and the half smile he sometimes flashed were playing havoc with her emotions.
After she’d met Tony, nothing had kept her from responding to him in an open, free way. Now, she had a son who came first in her life and the situation with Carson was so different it was almost painful. If he had feelings for her—sometimes, when he looked at her, she felt that he did—he hadn’t acted on them. But then again, he was naturally kind and generous. She didn’t dare read more into a smile or an intense look than was meant. He’d told her that she and Johnny were their guinea pigs.
The daunting thought occurred to her that Carson’s emotions weren’t invested, which explained why he never did anything overtly personal. Next month, another family devastated by the war would be arriving. He and his friends would welcome them and be as kind and attentive as they’d been to Johnny and her.
Maybe he’d meet a widow this summer who would be so desirable to him, he’d reach out to her because he couldn’t help himself. Tracy groaned. What kind of woman might she be?
Tomorrow was Tuesday, and they only had four more days here. With her attraction to Carson growing, she’d found herself dreading the march of time, just like Johnny. But it suddenly dawned on her that without some signal from him, those days would seem like a lifetime.
Another worse thought intruded when she heard voices in the distance. Johnny heard them, too, and sat up, rubbing his eyes. She reached for her watch, which she’d taken off to go swimming. It was four-thirty. Buck appeared to have arrived with the others.
What if Carson had picked up on certain vibes from Tracy and had been including the Harris family in all their activities to keep everything on an even keel?
Was it true?
Maybe she was wrong, since she didn’t know Carson’s mind, but she cringed to think it could be a possibility.
“Hey, Johnny!” Sam was right outside her tent. “What are you doing? We’re going swimming!”
