More Portmanteau Plays

JONATHAN

I heard you whistling.

HANK

That's a tune I made up once. (Whistles)

JONATHAN

Do you make up tunes?

HANK

That's the only one I ever done. It comes in handy and it don't hurt no one.

[Jonathan unconsciously tries to whistle a phrase of the tune.

HANK

No, that ain't it. It's this way.

[Whistles.

Jonathan tries it again and fails.

No. Here.

Jonathan makes it this time.

HANK

That's it. Say, what you got these bars for? It's like jail. Are they afraid you'll jump out on them rocks?

JONATHAN

No, I guess not. There isn't much danger of my wanting to jump out.

HANK

You never can tell for sure, young feller.

JONATHAN

It's to keep people from climbing in.

HANK

There ain't no bars over that one. (Pointing to gable window)

JONATHAN

That's too high.

HANK

It'd be like fallin' off the top of a house, wouldn't it?

[Whistles.

Jonathan whistles "All on a Summer's Day."

HANK

What you got there?

JONATHAN

That's my theatre.

HANK

A show?

JONATHAN

Yes.

HANK

How does it work?

JONATHAN

These are the actors.

HANK

What's the string fer?

JONATHAN

You put him in a groove and pull him.

HANK

Lemme see it.

JONATHAN

All right. I'll show you a scene from the play I'm going to play for my Uncle Nathaniel tomorrow.

HANK

Fire away.

[Jonathan lights the lamps that are back of the screen and pulls the blinds or some cover over the barred windows.

HANK

I wouldn't have all this junk if you'd give it to me. No, sir, when I move I carry my house with me and there ain't much o' that now. (Indicates his clothes)

JONATHAN

All ready. Now you sit there.

[Places Hank on the bench.

He goes behind the screen and taps some bells.

HANK

What's that fer?

JONATHAN

That's to get ready.

HANK

Well, I'm ready.

[Jonathan opens the curtain and discloses a scene from Zenobia.

That's beautiful. It's just like real.

[Jonathan pulls a figure across the stage.

Hello, old man. That's the one I jus' seen. Where's the string?

[Jonathan lifts the string.

JONATHAN

Here it is.

HANK

Now where's that feller goin' to?

JONATHAN (coming out from behind the screen)

Well, you see, Zenobia—

HANK

Zenob—God, what a name!

JONATHAN

They used to have names like that.

HANK

How d' you do it?

JONATHAN

Look, I'll show you a little.

[He goes behind the screen and closes the curtain.

HANK

What you doin' that for? I like to see that picture.

JONATHAN

I'm going to show you how I do it.

[Jonathan rings the bells.

HANK

All right. I'm ready. Let her go.

[Jonathan opens the curtain and pulls a character on, then another.

JONATHAN (in assumed voice)"Hail, noble duke.""All is well, I ween."HANK

Say, are they talkin' to each other?

JONATHAN

Yes.

HANK

Which is the noble duke?

JONATHAN (pulling a string)

This one.

HANK

And the other one's name is Iween, ain't it?

JONATHAN

No, his name is Rollo.

HANK

All right, fire ahead. I guess you know what you're doing.

JONATHAN (in assumed voice)

"Hail, noble duke."

"All is well, I ween."

"Not very well, noble duke."

"What is wrong?"

"Queen Zenobia is very mad, noble duke."

"What is she mad about, Rollo?"

[Uncle John enters suddenly.

JOHN

Jonathan—

[He sees Hank.

What does this mean?

HANK

I'm seein' a show.

JOHN

You get out of here this instant.

HANK

I ain't hurtin' nothin', mister, but I'll git out if you say so.

JOHN

What do you mean by this, Jonathan?

HANK

I'll git out. Thank you fer the show, boy.

[He goes out whistling.

John crosses to the door.

JOHN (calling after Hank)

Come on, get out of here quickly.

HANK (off)

I'm out, mister.

JOHN

Now, Jonathan, what do you mean by bringing such people into this place?

JONATHAN

I didn't bring him in. He came up while I was working.

JOHN

Do you call that silly stuff working?

JONATHAN

I was getting it ready for Uncle Nathaniel.

JOHN

He's been putting that nonsense in your head, has he?

JONATHAN

He asked me to let him see all my plays.

JOHN

I suppose he told you to ask that dirty tramp in here.

JONATHAN

No, sir. He didn't see the tramp.

[Hank is heard whistling.

John crosses to one of the windows and opens it.

JOHN (calling)

You get away from there. Move on.

HANK'S VOICE

I guess the roadside's free, mister.

JOHN

We'll see about that.

[Hank whistles.

JOHN

Jonathan, I won't have you waste your time on this stuff. I've been pretty lenient with you and I've allowed you to keep your toys because Emily spoiled you; but you're too big for such things and I'm going to put my foot down right now. I'm not going to have this silly stuff around.

JONATHAN

Uncle Nathaniel doesn't think it's silly.

JOHN

I'll decide what is and is not good for you.

JONATHAN

The same thing isn't good for everybody.

JOHN

Don't talk back to me, young man.

JONATHAN

I've got a right to think.

JOHN

Jonathan!

JONATHAN

If my mother was living, she wouldn't call everything I like to do silly.

JOHN

Your mother didn't know what was good for you.

JONATHAN

My mother was the best woman in the world.

JOHN

That will do, Jonathan. Your mother was my sister and I am not saying anything against her. But I do say that stuff must go.

[He starts for the door.

JONATHAN

If this theatre goes, I go, too. I'm not—

[John walks over to the theatre and sweeps the whole structure onto the floor.

JOHN

Now.

JONATHAN

You dirty coward, you—

[John turns upon the boy and strikes him across the face.

In mingled rage and humiliation Jonathan sobs wildly once or twice, then controls himself and glares violently at his uncle.

JOHN

I'll let you think about it. I'll leave you here with your toys like a girl-baby.

[He goes out the door, closing it and turning the key in the lock.

Jonathan runs to the door.

JONATHAN

You let me out of here! You let me out of here!

[He pounds the door with his fists.

Then he turns in despair and humiliation.

He paces the floor a moment, not knowing what to do. Suddenly Hank's whistle is heard. The boy listens as though fascinated and goes to the window and watches Hank. Jonathan goes to his wrecked theatre and, taking it up, piles his manuscripts, the pink and the blue, on it. He hesitates to include one in the pile, offering once or twice to put it in his pocket, but he finally places it in grim determination with the others. Then he takes it off and stuffs it in his pocket. He stuffs the pile in the stove and sets a match to it, watches it a moment, then writes on a piece of paper, fastens it to the door. Then he finds a piece of rope on a packing case, moves the ladder under the gable window, fastens the rope to a peg in the wall, climbs the ladder, considers a moment, returns to the stove with the beloved manuscript, stuffs it in the fire, remounts the ladder and lets his weight onto the rope. As he disappears from view, the rope breaks and a cry and sound of falling are heard.

The flames from the burning theatre and manuscripts flicker against the wall for a silent moment.

The key is heard to turn in the lock and John and Nathaniel enter.

JOHN

Jonathan!

NATHANIEL

He's hiding.

JOHN

Jonathan!

NATHANIEL (Sees paper on door)

What's this?

JOHN

What does it say?

NATHANIEL

"Good-bye!… Jonathan."

JOHN (Looks suspiciously at Nathaniel)

Did you tell the silly boy about your running away?

NATHANIEL

I told Jonathan nothing about myself. You are the head of the Clay family and out of custom I respected your position; but, by God, John, you're a failure with this boy.

JOHN

He—

[Hank enters carrying Jonathan in his arms. Jonathan is limp and pitiful. His clothes are torn. He is moaning pitifully.

HANK

He fell on the rocks out there.

NATHANIEL

Put him over here.

[Hank places Jonathan on the bench near the piano. Nathaniel places the costume, which Susan left there, under his head for a pillow.

JOHN

What was he doing?

HANK

He was—

NATHANIEL

This is no time for questions, John. Call a doctor.

[Jonathan moans and rolls his head, looking vacantly at Hank now and then.

JONATHAN (moaning)

Good-bye.... Jonathan.

JOHN

We'd better take him in the house.

JONATHAN

My mother was the best woman—

NATHANIEL

He'd better stay here until the doctor comes.

[John exits.

JONATHAN

All on a summer's day—

[All the time Nathaniel has been passing his hands over Jonathan.

HANK

He's out of his head, ain't he?

NATHANIEL

Perhaps, but sometimes one's heart speaks in a delirium.

HANK

He acts like his back's broke.

NATHANIEL

My God—his back!

[Touches the boy's back.

Jonathan winces with pain.

JONATHAN

My back's broken, Hank.

HANK

Listen, he's saying my name. We wuz pals, sure nuff.

JONATHAN

My back's broken, Hank.

Curtain

ACT II

Jonathan Builds a Fear

Six years have elapsed since Act I as years elapse in a boy's imaginings.

Throughout this act the characters are disclosed without reason as in a dream; and the movement of the act represents four terrors of a delirium—anxious effort to make oneself known, a feeling of fetters, climbing and a sudden fall.

[Before the curtain rises the voices of Jonathan, Hank, Nathaniel and John are heard, muffled and far away.

HANK

He fell on the rocks out there.

NATHANIEL

Put him over here.

JOHN

What was he doing?

HANK

He was—

NATHANIEL

This is no time for questions, John. Call a doctor.

JONATHAN

Good-bye.... Jonathan.

JOHN

We'd better take him in the house.

JONATHAN

My mother was the best woman—

NATHANIEL

He'd better stay here until the doctor comes.

JONATHAN

All on a summer's day—

HANK

He's out of his head, ain't he?

NATHANIEL

Perhaps, but sometimes one's heart speaks in a delirium.

HANK

He acts like his back's broke.

NATHANIEL

My God—his back!

JONATHAN

My back's broken, Hank.

HANK

Listen, he's saying my name. We wuz pals, sure nuff.

JONATHAN

My back's broken, Hank.

[The curtain has risen unnoticed.

A faint light that grows steadily brighter as light does when one comes out of a swoon discloses Jonathan and Hank seated on a log at the left of the stage, where the bench had been. Jonathan seems much older, and he is crooked and dirty and unkempt, and Hank is somewhat brutalised, less negative.

JONATHAN

My back's broken, Hank.

[Hank looks at him.

Tired?

HANK

Sure....

JONATHAN

I think Uncle Nathaniel would help me if he saw me.

HANK

He couldn't do nothin' for you. You can't straighten a crooked back....

JONATHAN

Hank, I'm tired of this and I'm going back.

HANK

Going back where?

JONATHAN

I'm going back home.

HANK

Your Uncle John won't let you in.

JONATHAN

Uncle Nathaniel will take me in.

HANK

He ain't there no more and besides he won't know you.

JONATHAN

Honest—don't you think he would?

HANK

Sure, he wouldn't.

JONATHAN

I wish I hadn't run away.

HANK

If you don't quit wishing I'll run away from you.

JONATHAN

You wouldn't leave me, would you, Hank?

HANK

Sure, I'd leave you.... What do you think I am—a wishing stone?… I want peace, I do.... An' your wishing's disturbing my peace.... Every day fer six years you squeal about what you done.... Your Uncle John swatted you and you burned your theatre things and jumped out o' the window and broke your back and I saved you....

JONATHAN

I can't do anything with a broken back!

HANK

What do you want to do anything for?

JONATHAN

Sometimes I'd like to write a little.

HANK

Go ahead.... I'll wait for you.

JONATHAN

And I'd like to give a show. You know, Hank, I used to want to be an actor....

HANK

Sure, all kids want to be actors or go in a circus or do something where a lot o' people are lookin' on.

JONATHAN

But I can't be an actor now, because nobody'd want to look at me.

HANK

You act like that hump's ruined your life, when all you got to do's crouch over a little more and look sad and you can get anything you want. Why, it's money in your pocket, that's what that hump is; it's money in your pocket.

[He closes the conversation by whistling.

Say, go on over to that house and get us something to eat.

[Jonathan prepares for the quest and Hank rolls over to go to sleep.

As Jonathan crosses, lights disclose a hill with pleasant green slopes. At its foot stands a little cottage, all cool and pleasant with great glass doors. There are no locks and bolts to keep one out or to keep one in. A high plaster and brick wall flanks the cottage.

As Jonathan nears the cottage he meets Uncle John, whose austerity is more apparent than ever.

Jonathan cowers a moment, then attempts to smile.

JONATHAN

Hank said you'd turn me away if I came back.

JOHN

Were you talking to me, boy?

JONATHAN

I'm so sorry I ran away, Uncle John.

JOHN

Uncle John?

JONATHAN

Don't you know me, Sir?

JOHN

Indeed I do not.

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan—

JOHN

Jonathan! My nephew Jonathan?—Ha! Ha!

JONATHAN

Don't you remember I didn't want to study engineering—I didn't want to go to Somerset School?

JOHN

Where is Jonathan?

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan, sir. You remember I jumped out of the window and I tried to run away.

JOHN

You seem to know a lot about it. Where is Jonathan?

JONATHAN

I tell you I am Jonathan.... Don't you remember you struck me—You struck me across the face—that's what made me run away.

JOHN

I should have whipped him and put him to bed.

JONATHAN

I would have run away just the same, Uncle John.

JOHN

Don't call me Uncle John!

JONATHAN

But you are my Uncle John.

JOHN

I ask you where is Jonathan.

JONATHAN

Would you like to see him?

JOHN

I should like to know what has become of him.

JONATHAN

Would you let him come back home?

JOHN

No. When he ran away, I cast him out forever.

JONATHAN

Couldn't you forgive him if he was very, very sorry for what he had done?… Couldn't you forgive me, sir?… I am Jonathan. Honest I am Jonathan.

JOHN

Don't try to deceive me. Jonathan was impudent as you are; but he was a Clay: he was straight and fine.

JONATHAN

But I broke my back.

JOHN

Tell me where Jonathan is, you imposter.

[He takes Jonathan by the arm and twists it brutally.

Tell me.... Tell me.

JONATHAN

I don't know.... Let me go.... I'm not Jonathan.

JOHN

Tell me....

JONATHAN (in desperation)

He's dead.

JOHN

What!

JONATHAN

He's dead. He died somewhere.

JOHN

And so you tried to palm yourself off as Jonathan.

JONATHAN

I'm sorry.

JOHN

Don't you know you can't make your way with lies?

JONATHAN

Yes, sir.

JOHN

You ought to be whipped, but I suppose you don't know any better. I should have you arrested for vagrancy.

[Jonathan winces.

But I won't. I pity you, you dirty little beggar.

[He starts to walk.

You ought to wash your hands and face at least.

JONATHAN

Please, sir—one minute.... How are Mary and John third?

JOHN

Mary is ten—a big girl—and John third is eight—a strapping boy who will be a great help to me.

JONATHAN

And—how is Aunt Letitia?

JOHN

My aunt died of a broken heart.

JONATHAN

A broken heart?

JOHN

Because Jonathan ran away.

[Jonathan buries his face in his arms.

There! Don't cry for someone you've never seen.... Here, here, take this—

[He presses a coin into Jonathan's hand and goes out.

Jonathan looks at the coin, then after John, and seems to close his heart. He crosses to the sleeping Hank.

JONATHAN

Here, Hank.

HANK (taking the coin)

What'd he say?

JONATHAN

He didn't know me.

HANK

I guess you're not going back home now!

JONATHAN

No, I haven't any home.

HANK

Then quit your snifflin' an' go on over to that house.

JONATHAN

All right, Hank.

[Hank curls up and goes to sleep again.

Jonathan crosses to the cottage and finally summons the courage to knock on the door. As he does so the lights within grow bright and disclose a lovely little room with a beautiful piano in the centre. In a moment a young woman appears and opens the doors. It is Susan Sample. She is charmingly older; but she is dressed almost as she was in the old lumber room.

JONATHAN

Please, Miss—why—

SUSAN

What do you want?

JONATHAN

I—don't you know me?

SUSAN

No, I don't know you, little boy. What do you want?

JONATHAN

I—don't you really know me?

SUSAN

I've never seen you before.

JONATHAN

I know you.... You're Susan Sample.

SUSAN

Who told you?

JONATHAN

I'm— (He becomes conscious of his back) Why Jonathan told me.

SUSAN

Have you seen Jonathan?

JONATHAN

Yes.

SUSAN

Where is he?

JONATHAN

I don't know.

SUSAN

He ran away. Why doesn't he come home?

JONATHAN

Because—oh, I don't know.

SUSAN

Who are you?

JONATHAN

I'm a vagrant.

SUSAN

Are you hungry?

JONATHAN (looking toward Hank)

No. I'm not.... I'm not begging.... But will you do something for me?

SUSAN

Yes, if I can.

JONATHAN

Will you play for me?

SUSAN

Oh, yes.... What shall I play?

JONATHAN

Anything.

[Jonathan notices his dirty hands.

Excuse me a moment.

[He goes to a bird-bath and washes his hands, wipes them and returns to the piano.

Susan plays a bit of a nocturne with ease and grace.

JONATHAN

Do you remember this?

[He hums "All on a Summer Day."

SUSAN

Oh, yes.

[She plays the tune in a sophisticated musical way, but Jonathan is disappointed.

SUSAN

You don't like it?

JONATHAN

That isn't exactly the way it goes.

SUSAN

Oh, yes, it is.

[She plays it once more and sings it.

JONATHAN

No—no—no. It ought to go this way.

[He sings it as he had sung it years before.

SUSAN

You sing that just as Jonathan used to sing it.

JONATHAN

I like it that way.

SUSAN

Did Jonathan teach it to you?

JONATHAN

Yes.... A long time ago.

SUSAN

Did he tell you—

JONATHAN

About the lovely lady who danced to the tune? Oh, she was wonderful!

SUSAN

Jonathan ran away—and he never wrote to me or thought of me.

JONATHAN

He thought of you and he talked of you and he sang of you.

SUSAN

No.... I can't believe that.

JONATHAN

Jonathan loves you very much.

SUSAN

If a man loves a woman very much he can't go away from her for years and years.

JONATHAN

Suppose Jonathan had pride and was ashamed to let you know that he had failed.

SUSAN

Jonathan wouldn't fail. I know Jonathan.

JONATHAN

He—Susan Sample!

[Susan plays softly. She is lovely in the sunlight which is lengthening across the lawn.

[Jonathan watches her quietly. The love of the boy fans into flame and he reaches out to her, then in the consciousness of his deformity he turns away.

SUSAN

Will you tell me where Jonathan was when you last saw him?

JONATHAN

I don't know—The last time I saw Jonathan—he was tall and straight—and making his way.

SUSAN

Oh, well.

[Albert Peet enters. He is a little man of immaculate appearance and great preciseness.

ALBERT

Ah, Susan.

SUSAN

Albert, you are late.

ALBERT

Who is this?

SUSAN

This is a friend of Jonathan's.

ALBERT

Jonathan who?

SUSAN

Don't you remember Jonathan who had the toy theatre? He ran away from home.

ALBERT

Oh… and this is his friend? How do you do?

SUSAN

Do you remember this? I used to play it for you.

[She begins "All on a Summer's Day."

Jonathan and I made it up.

ALBERT (laughing)

Oh, yes.

SUSAN (to Jonathan)

Come on and sing it.

[Jonathan is not sure of the status of Albert Peet.

[Susan plays and she and Jonathan sing with great feeling.

ALBERT (looking at his watch)

Well, all this is very pleasant indeed, but we'll have to go, Susan dear.

[At the "Susan, dear" Jonathan turns quickly and sees the two holding hands. Susan holds up her left hand and shows an engagement ring on it. Jonathan is utterly crushed.

JONATHAN

I think I'd better say good-bye.

[He takes up his cap.

SUSAN

Good-bye. If you see Jonathan, tell him I'm going to marry Albert Peet. He'll know.

ALBERT

Good-bye.

[Albert and Susan walk off happily in the sunshine.

Jonathan looks after them.

Mlle. Perrault enters followed by Mary and John 3rd. Mlle. Perrault's dress is almost like the one she had worn when she first met Jonathan in the lumber-room, except that the colors are reversed and more brilliant. Mary is a lovely little yellow-haired child of ten and John 3rd is a stoical matter-of-fact boy of eight. The two children are evidently very fond of Mlle. Perrault, as fond as Jonathan and Susan had seemed. If the children seem thoughtless and cruel, it is because they are children and life has not yet laid a hard hand upon them. The sun rays are very low against the wall now so that anyone walking near it will cast a very heavy shadow.

MARY

John, look—he's a hunchback.

MLLE. PERRAULT

'Sh! Children.

[The children whisper.

Jonathan turns and seeing Mlle. Perrault smiles.

How do you do, little man.

JONATHAN

I am well, I thank you.

MLLE. PERRAULT

What are you doing here?

JONATHAN

I am with Hank.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Hank?

JONATHAN

Yes, Hank's my pal. There he is—asleep.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Oh, what a dreadful person.... Children, don't go near him.

JONATHAN

He's not so bad.

MLLE. PERRAULT

But he is a vagrant—a tramp. Why does he do nothing?

JONATHAN

He's happier that way.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Are you his son?

JONATHAN

Oh, no.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Where is your mother?

JONATHAN

My mother's dead.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Where did she live?

JONATHAN (Looks for a trace of recognition)

I'd better not tell you.

MARY

Oh, please tell us.

JONATHAN

I'd better not.

MARY

You ask him, John.

JOHN III

Uh-uh!

MARY

Why not?

JOHN III

I don't want to know.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Why don't you want to tell us? We won't tell anybody.

JONATHAN

Nobody'll believe me.

MARY

Why?

JONATHAN

You see, I ran away from home—

JOHN III

When you run away from home, you're no good.

MARY

Now, John, that isn't always so.

JOHN III

It is.

MARY

It isn't. Goldilocks and the Babes in the Wood and the Marquis of Carabas were all good, and they ran away from home.

JOHN III

But they had bad homes.

MARY

Was your home bad?

JONATHAN

I thought it was.

JOHN III

You thought it was. But was it?

JONATHAN

No.

JOHN III

Then you're no good.

MLLE. PERRAULT

Oh, John.

JOHN III

No, he isn't. Grandfather said nobody who ran away from home was any good!

MARY

Why did you run away from home?

JONATHAN

I mustn't tell.

MARY

Oh, you won't tell anything!

JOHN III (pointing to Hank)

What did you say he was, Ma'mselle?

MLLE. PERRAULT

He is a vagrant—

MARY AND JOHN III

What's a vagrant?

MARY

Ooh—

[Puts up her hand to make a wish.

JOHN III

Aw, I'm not going to make a wish. Grandfather'll get it for me anyway if I want it.

MARY

Now, John Clay III—

[Jonathan looks up quickly.

You always spoil things.

JONATHAN

Is that Mary Clay and John Clay?

MLLE. PERRAULT

Yes.

JONATHAN

They don't remember Jonathan, do they?

MLLE. PERRAULT

You mean Jonathan who ran away?

JONATHAN

Yes, ma'am.

MARY

Who's Jonathan?

JOHN III

He's David's friend. I know that. And he was very good.