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She had released the bitterness and anger; now she needed to put that new life into action. So many people deserved apologies from her. Where did she start?
* * *
Vickie walked back into her little single-wide trailer. For a second the thin walls of the narrow trailer closed in on her. It had been their temporary home for almost two years now. A stark difference to the three-thousand-square-foot home they had in San Antonio.
That life was gone, along with the money and the delusion of a happy ever after.
Snuggling deeper into the sturdy jacket, Jake’s warmth and scent surrounded her—outdoors and leather.
On the faux-wood coffee table sat the Bible her father handed her when she signed the divorce papers. All he ever said about the whole mess was, “Stay focused on your faith. The Lord has you.”
Why didn’t God give her a man of faith like her dad?
She let the pages fall open. She had marked Jeremiah 16:19 on the night she sat in the waiting room when her son had almost died. “‘The Lord is my strength and my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.’” Her soft words helped fill the emptiness.
Jake had given her that verse on the way to the ambulance. God would be her refuge. She moved to the last door in the tiny hall. Her son was hurting. She grew up with two sisters and had no idea how to deal with an eleven-year-old boy that wanted his father.
He’d gotten so angry when she told him he wouldn’t be going to Tommy’s wedding. He blamed her for everything, the divorce, his father’s leaving, his trouble with Rachel.
She protected the children from the worst of the betrayals, but she was losing her son.
Tommy wanted to focus on his new bride without the kids around. Her fingers gripped the edges of the cherished Bible. Of course, he made her tell the kids.
Leaning her forehead against the handmade warning sign taped to his door, she softly prayed. “God, please lift me up to be the kind of mother my children need. Cover Seth and Ashley in your love.”
The trailer filled with heavy silence. She laid a hand against the plastic trim to support her now-weak legs. “I love Seth and Ashley so much. Thank you for the gift of being their mother.” She waited for a heartbeat...two... “Help me use the right words with them to heal any hurts.”
The phone rang. Instead of answering, she moved to the freezer and pulled out the vanilla ice cream.
“Victoria Maria, it’s your mother.” Her mother’s sweet Texas drawl was leftover from her Dallas debutante days.
She was getting better at ignoring it.
“I need to talk to you about Seth.” Her mother continued. “I know you’re in that trailer.”
Vickie could hear the disgust in her mother’s tone. Each time she came to the house, her mother looked around the room as if she had found a roach running across the toes of her high-heeled shoes. Vickie closed her eyes and waited.
“Victoria Maria Miller, pick up.”
Elizabeth Marie Lawson never screamed, shouted or yelled, but she had a voice of steel and she expected to be obeyed.
With a heavy sigh, Vickie picked up the landline with one hand and used the other to fill her mouth with ice cream.
She knew it was a petty form of rebellion, but it felt good to answer while still chewing.
“Mother, I’m not his wife anymore....” She made sure to swallow loudly, “and I’m back to Lawson.”
“Are you eating while talking to me?”
Vickie put the spoon in the sink. “Sorry, Mama.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not sure if going back to Lawson is the best thing for the children. They should have the same last name as their mother. I think it is upsetting Seth.”
“Mom, everything upsets Seth.” She wanted to curl up in bed, pull the blankets over her head and not listen to her mother’s lecture. “Mom, it’s been a really long day. Is Seth okay? Do I need to pick him up?”
“No, no. I think it’s good for him to be around his grandfather. He needs a strong man of faith in his life. We were praying for his father, and Seth said you won’t talk to Tommy when he calls.”
“Mom, Tommy is getting married in less than a week.” She hung her head and rubbed her forehead. “Please don’t encourage Seth in the idea his father is coming back.”
On the counter, her cell phone started vibrating.
“Victoria, he should...”
“Sorry to cut you off, Mom, but Lorrie Ann is on my cell. I should take it.”
“Oh, I hope everything is okay. Why would she be calling you?”
“I don’t know. Love you, bye.” With a flip of her thumb, she received the call while hanging up on her mother.
“Lorrie Ann?” She couldn’t image why Pastor Levi’s fiancée was calling her. Slight nausea rolled her stomach. In Vickie’s darkest moments, she delivered some of her ugliest words straight at Lorrie Ann. Bitterness, jealously and anger filled her thoughts just two months ago. Embarrassment made her want to disconnect the call.
“Hi, Vickie. Sorry to be calling late, but I was organizing my weekly schedule. I have a couple of ideas I would love to talk to you about. Could I come over Friday night? It’s about the wedding and the youth program.” She laughed. “Right now it seems everything in my life is about the wedding. Would seven o’clock work for you? Oh, sorry. I’m being a little pushy. Between Aunt Maggie, my mom and Yolanda, not to mention every woman in the church who sees John as their adopted son, I’m going a little crazy.”
“Um...no problem. You can come over.” Vickie had no idea what to say. “You’re always welcome here, and I owe you so much. Whatever you need, sign me up.”
“Be careful what you say. I will hold you to it. See you Friday, and please have an open mind. Bye.”
Vickie ended the call and sat there on the tall stool, looking at the phone. Twelve years ago, she had been jealous of Lorrie Ann and Jake’s friendship, and pulled the mean-girl trick. She started lies about the girl she considered a rival. Hurtful, horrible lies and when they grew, she remained silent. She didn’t do any better when Lorrie Ann came back to town over three months ago. Her eyes started to burn.
Somehow she was the girl everyone hated, but they were too afraid to say anything to her. The idea of someone treating her children like that tore at her heart.
She took a deep breath. Take the good in. She exhaled, pushing her lungs until they burned. Forcing all the bad out. “God, thank You for this opportunity to make it right.”
Chapter Three (#ulink_d5a53e58-6e29-5778-a9eb-f7edd45e2513)
Friday arrived too soon. Tonight Lorrie Ann Ortega would be in Vickie’s trailer. She swallowed down the butterflies that fluttered up from her stomach. Maybe she should call her and meet somewhere in town. No, doing this in public might even be worse.
Vickie practiced her apology, but it never sounded right. Putting away the clean dishes in the cabinet, she checked the small living room to make sure it was as clean and neat as she could get it. Jake’s sturdy jacket lay over the back of one of the ladder-backed chairs. Picking it up, she ran her hand over the brown fabric.
Maybe she should take it to him. Vickie imagined showing up at his house. Would he welcome her or ask her to leave?
Okay, now she was overanalyzing returning a jacket. As she hung the coat in the hall closet, she heard a vehicle pull up to her drive.
Checking her clock, she figured it was Adrian. He had volunteered to pick up Ashley and take her to the regular horse club meeting.
Her daughter stomped from the tiny hallway. “Mom, my boots hurt my feet.”
She hunched down in front of Ashley and checked the toes of the red boots. She sighed. Sure enough, the little toes pushed against the rounded end of the boots. She did a quick calculation of her next paycheck versus bills to be paid. Well, there went the last bit of her savings. “Sweetheart, they’re too small for you. You’re going to have to wear your tennis shoes until we can get you some more.”
“I can just curl my toes.” She looked down, her hair covering her face. “See. It doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh, baby, you can’t wear shoes too small. You’re not riding tonight, so go get your tennis shoes.”
As Ashley stomped back to her room, she heard a knock. Opening the door, she greeted Adrian. Vickie glanced over his shoulder where his truck idled.
Mia waved from the backseat of the black truck. A large horse trailer with two horses inside filled her driveway.
“Oh, no, I thought tonight was just a meeting. I’m sorry, Adrian. I could’ve asked my dad to take her and one of his horses.” Ashley was going to be so upset.
Adrian smiled. “No worries. We single parents have to stick together.” He winked at her.
Vickie glanced to the side, not sure how to respond. Did Adrian just wink at her? He was younger than she was by a couple of years. Not knowing what to say she just stood there in silence.
He pointed to the silver trailer. “I have Cinnamon. She’s old but refuses to be left behind. Ashley can ride her. Jake offered to go over some basic horse safety guidelines with the kids, and we thought it would be fun if they all actually had a horse. Hands-on learning.”
Ashley came to the door. “Hi, Mr. De La Cruz. Is Mia with you? Oh, you have horses.” Bright eyes filled with worry looked up at Vickie. “Mommy, you said we weren’t riding. I need my boots.”
Vickie glanced at Adrian and gave him a weak smile. “It seems like overnight they got too small for her.” She pulled Ashley against her side. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”
He pointed to the horse trailer. “I’m sure we have some of Mia’s old boots in the dressing room.” He gave them a lopsided grin. “I’m not the best at cleaning out the old stuff, and Mia seems to grow faster than a newborn colt, too. We probably have some you can borrow.”
Vickie hated charity of any kind. “Are you sure? It would just be for tonight.”
“Hey, you would be helping me out.” He looked at Ashley. “You ready?”
With a nod, she hugged Vickie. “Love you, Mommy.”
“Be careful.” Vickie’s words landed on departing backs. As they climbed into the huge truck, a Jeep Cherokee approached the trailer. Vickie didn’t recognize the SUV. Adrian honked as he drove past the Jeep.
Lorrie Ann got out of the vehicle and went to the backseat. A knot formed in Vickie’s stomach. She had thrown some hateful words at Lorrie Ann over the years, first in high school then even worse a few months back when Lorrie Ann had returned to town.
As a grown woman, she had no excuse for such behavior. Jealousy created some ugly side effects. If she really wanted to be a better person, God was giving her a great opportunity to make it right and start on her list of apologies.
She would start right here with Lorrie Ann. Tomorrow she could move on to Jake then maybe find a way to ask for forgiveness from the whole town of Clear Water.
She started down the steps. “Hi, Lorrie Ann. What happened to your BMW?”
Lorrie Ann opened the back door and leaned in. “Traded it in for something more practical.”
“Do you need any help?” Vickie asked.
Lorrie Ann came out from behind the door with a bag. “That would be great. Here’s some samples of materials. Aunt Maggie and Rachel made the dinner for y’all. It’s a casserole so you can put it in the fridge and use it anytime you need a quick meal. Celeste and I made the cookies.” She went back into the Jeep for the aluminum trays. Turning to Vickie, she had a big grin on her face. “Rachel also made a card and note. She wanted to make sure Seth got those. She missed him at the party.”
Oh, great, she’d hoped they had put an end to the budding romance between her son and Pastor John’s daughter. “Is her father okay with it?”
“Oh, he’ll be fine. The note is very sweet and innocent. I think they’re friends more than anything else.” Lorrie Ann shrugged.
Vickie had fallen in love with Jake Torres when she was just ten but had been too afraid of her mother to let anyone know. Looking back, she realized it had probably been that secret that made her so mean to any girl brave enough to talk with Jake. Lies and fear had a way of festering.
“Are you ready to talk wedding?”
Vickie nodded and led Lorrie Ann into her trailer. Placing the items on the kitchen counter, Vickie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A minute to relax the knot in her gut and let the bad out. “Lorrie Ann, I can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me and Seth. You really didn’t have to do this.”
“Oh, I have alternative motives. Consider it a peace offering and bribe all rolled up into one.”
“A peace offering? For what? I’m the one that owes you an apology and a huge thank-you for saving my son’s life.”
“I’m so glad I was there and could help. How is Seth doing?”
“Dr. Adams released him for all activities.” Now, Vickie. Speak up now. “Can I get you some tea or lemonade?”
Lorrie Ann sat on the bar stool. “Lemonade would be great. Vickie, I need to ask a huge favor from you.”
Pulling two of the best glasses from the cabinet, surprise derailed Vickie’s thoughts for a moment. “Umm... You need something from me? Okay, just tell me what it is and I’ll do it.”
Lorrie Ann laughed. “I haven’t even asked you yet.”
As she filled the glasses with ice, Vickie struggled with the right words. “I owe you. Not only for finding Seth and knowing CPR, which I could never repay, but also for all the hateful rumors I started and the names I called you.” She still had her back to Lorrie Ann as she poured the lemonade.
On a deep breath, she turned and slid the full glass across the counter. She looked Lorrie Ann in the eyes. The stunning gray and green swirls were even more beautiful because of the sweet compassion Vickie found in them. “I know it’s old history and way too late, but I need to apologize for all the nasty rumors I started in high school. I was so jealous of the friendship you had with Jake. I wanted to hurt you. It was wrong of me.” There. She did it and the world still moved in the right direction. “You left town because of me. I’m so sorry.”
Lorrie Ann reached across the old, stained linoleum and laid her hands over Vickie’s, forcing them to be still. “Thank you. I had my own issues, too. John told me not long ago that the choices and mistakes of our past don’t have to shape our future, but they can be used to help others.” She sat back and took a drink of her lemonade. “The part I didn’t understand was why you were jealous. Back then, Jake only had eyes for you. Everyone knew that.”
Vickie looked at her glass before taking her own sip. For a moment, she allowed the sweet, sour taste to fill her senses. She glanced out the window to the barn. “I was so in love with him, but I feared my mother’s disapproval even more.” With a weak grin, she looked back at Lorrie Ann. “My mom had a plan for me and it did not include the maid’s son.” She started wiping the counter. “Complete coward would be a good description of me. I owe you even a larger apology for my behavior when you returned to town. I was a bitter shrew, and as a grown woman, there was no excuse for my actions. I don’t have any adequate words to tell you how sorry I am. So yes, I vow, whatever you need from me is yours.”
“Well, you might regret that promise.” Lorrie Ann leaned in closer and smiled. “I want to hire you to make my bridesmaids’ dresses and two mother-of-the-bride dresses. One for Aunt Maggie and one for my mother, along with dresses for Rachel and Celeste. I would also love to work with you to design my wedding dress. And if you survive that, John’s house is in major need of drapes, curtains and throw pillows.”
Vickie didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t get her mouth to move.
Lorrie Ann took another drink before patting Vickie’s hand. “Are you okay?”
“I lied about you and tried to run you out of town and you want me to make the dresses for your wedding?”
“You’ve apologized and I’m tired of holding grudges. Anyway, one of the things I learned in L.A. was business above personal feelings. You, Vickie, are the most amazing and talented seamstress I have ever seen. I also wanted to talk to you about helping out with the youth program. John, Jake and Rhody have a strong program for the boys, but I was thinking about other activities we could offer, sewing maybe, or some sort of arts or crafts. What do you think?”
Truly humbled by Lorrie Ann’s acceptance, Vickie bit back the urge to cry. “I would love to help at the church. And I’ll give you a discount for the dresses.”
“Don’t you dare. I’ll pay you half as a down payment on Monday. You’re going to earn every penny just dealing with my family.” Lorrie Ann stood. “Thank you so much for the lemonade. And the apology. I really appreciate it.” She leaned in and wiggled her eyebrows. “We might be related someday if Seth and Rachel turn into real sweethearts. Don’t you tell John I said that. He would have a heart attack. I’ll see you later, Vickie. Maybe Sunday we can talk to John about ideas for the youth program.”
Vickie led her to the door and waved as she watched her disappear through the gate. God does work in mysterious ways. In a million years, she would have never dreamed she’d be making the dresses for Lorrie Ann’s wedding. She also had money to buy Ashley the new boots she needed. Tomorrow she would take Jake’s jacket to him. Would she find another friend in Jake or was it too late?
Chapter Four (#ulink_0b3aa8a0-c7d4-52e4-87a8-c49a0dbb778d)
Putting her car in Park, Vickie looked at the surrounding area. Jake had bought a beautiful piece of land to build his home.
Reaching over to the passenger’s seat, Vickie gripped the sturdy jacket in her hands and stared at his two-story cabin. With the last rays of sun slipping over the hills, the richness of the wood called to her, begging her to come closer. Why did she sit out here hiding in her car, unsure?
Because she let her mother’s words re-create all the self-doubt she’d been fighting. No more. She had a new life, a new purpose and needed some old friends. She could be just friends with Jake. She could.
