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His gaze met hers. “No need for you to worry. I stayed at a friend’s place near the hospital so I could sleep more between shifts.”
“Makes sense to stay with a friend.”
But she didn’t know if his “friend” was male or a buxom blonde named Bambi. And she wanted to know. Badly.
Cullen strode toward the couch. “I’m learning how important it is to have friends. I realize I’ve been taking them for granted.”
The way he’d taken her for granted. But he’d never considered her a friend. Her throat tightened.
She should say something, but she hadn’t a clue what. “You shouldn’t get a pet if you’re gone so much.”
His eyes widened. “I don’t always work this many shifts. A cat might work. As you said, they’re independent.”
“Even cats need to feel wanted and loved.”
Not that he wanted and loved her, but once he had. At least, that was what he’d told her.
Cullen stood next to her.
Sarah’s pulse skittered. Tension simmered between them. She shouldn’t want him to kiss her. But she did. Badly.
Look away. Move away. But she couldn’t—okay, didn’t want to. Instead she was mesmerized by his blue eyes and full lips.
Once again she was reminded of magma rising. Only this time moving closer to the surface, where the gas pressure increased, accelerating faster and faster until erupting.
She wet her lips.
“In case you’re still worried, the friend I stayed with—he’s an anesthesiologist from the hospital,” he said.
The surge of relief did nothing to douse the flame building inside her, threatening to explode. “Thanks.”
The blue of his eyes deepened. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“This.” Cullen lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Hard.
Heaven. His kiss made Sarah feel like she had died and gone to heaven. Best to enjoy every second, every minute if she was that lucky. She had a feeling this might be as close as she ever got to the pearly gates while her heart still beat. And beating it was.
In triple time.
His lips moved over hers with skill and familiarity. The kiss brought her home, back to where she’d longed to be for months now…in his arms. She’d thought about him, dreamed about him, missed him, even though she should have been getting over him. And now she realized why she was having so much trouble getting over him. He tasted warm and inviting. This was a yummy, comfy place she never wanted to leave. Each touch of his mouth, of his hands, made her tingle inside.
Forget pain medication—this was all she needed to feel better. Her blood simmered, rushing through her veins. It had been so long, too long, since she’d felt wanted. She didn’t want the feeling to end.
His hand ran up her back, caressing her, until her hair was running through his fingers.
More. She wanted more.
Sarah parted her lips. He accepted the invitation and deepened the kiss, pressing harder against her mouth.
He’d followed her lead. It was time to follow his.
Her tongue reacquainted itself with him, exploring the recesses of his mouth. She remembered all the times they’d kissed before. Remembered the good times in their marriage when she had believed it would last forever. Maybe her memories were hazy because of the concussion, but this kiss felt different. Better, somehow.
She didn’t want to analyze it too deeply. She wanted to…enjoy.
Heat pooled deep inside her. Need ached. Grew.
A moan escaped her lips.
More. Please.
Cullen drew her closer. She arched into him, only to come to an abrupt stop. She crashed into something hard, sending a jagged pain through her sore and healing abdomen. Her lips slipped off his. Spots appeared before her eyes.
Pain weakened her knees. It hurt, almost burned, so badly, but she didn’t fall. Cullen held on to her.
He groaned, but didn’t let go.
Sarah forced herself to breathe. A knife seemed to be slicing through her midsection. She straightened, intensifying the pain more. She looked down.
Stupid cast.
With the permanent bend in her elbow, her arm was stuck in position, a barrier between them.
In spite of her stomach hurting, she couldn’t deny her reaction to Cullen’s kisses. Her swollen and bruised lips throbbed. Her heart beat wildly. Her pulse hadn’t settled.
She wanted to rewind time and relieve each second of his kisses.
Stupid. Dumb.
Forget about the cast getting in the way—she should have known better than to kiss him back the way she had. “I’m so sorry.”
Cullen bent over, gasping for air. “Give me a sec.”
The rasp in his voice made Sarah look at her cast. “More dangerous than I imagined.”
He glanced up at her. “You have no idea.”
Sarah reached toward him, then thought better of it. If she touched him, she would kiss him again. She pressed her left hand against her side. Pain made her want to sit. She leaned against the couch. “You okay?”
He straightened. “I can breathe now. How about you?”
Her senses reeled. Her heart screamed for more kisses. Her incisions hurt. “I’ve been better. But the pain’s subsiding quicker than it usually does.”
Cullen’s mouth twisted. He looked so serious. As if the fate of the world rested on his shoulders and he’d screwed things up. “This was…”
“A mistake.” Better for her to admit it before him. She should never have kissed him back. “If you’re worried I’m thinking this changes things between us, don’t be. The other kiss didn’t. This one won’t, either.”
He didn’t say a word, but his dark gaze remained on her.
“Kisses are an old habit for us. The opportunity arose again. I wanted to be kissed. It was bound to happen,” she rambled, trying to justify what had occurred. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”
He raised a brow. “You think?”
She had no idea, but laughing this off was better than analyzing it to death and not liking her conclusion. “Sure.”
“Most kisses aim for romance, not humor.”
Was he aiming for romance by kissing her? Her pulse accelerated. No more kisses. “True, but romantic kisses are a dime a dozen. This one…”
A grin tugged at his lips. He rubbed his stomach. “I won’t be forgetting this one anytime soon.”
Her neither. But for different reasons than his.
Warning bells sounded in her head. Who was she kidding? She was past the warning stage. Alarms blared.
Best not to travel this road again. Giving in to desire would lead to disappointment and heartache. She couldn’t do that to herself, to her heart. “But it won’t happen again.”
“Definitely not.”
That was fast. Almost too fast. And he had said probably before, but definitely this time. Disappointment spiraled to the tips of her toes. At least they agreed, right?
She pressed her lips together, unsure what to say or do next. That seemed to be standard operating procedure whenever she was around Cullen. So why had she been so eager to see him when she woke up this morning?
He walked into the kitchen. “You mentioned taking a nap. While you sleep, I’ll figure out dinner. I’m sure we have enough leftovers.”
“It’s Taco Night at the brewpub.”
“You’re in pain.”
She didn’t want to stay inside, with him so close and her aching with surprise need. “I want to go out.”
His gaze raked over her, assessing her like one of his patients. “It’ll be too much for you after such a long day.”
“I’ve done nothing but lie or sit around, except for a walk outside with Bill.”
Cullen’s eyes narrowed. “There’s snow on the ground. You could have slipped.”
“We didn’t go far, and Bill never let go of my arm.”
“How gentlemanly of him.”
Sarah didn’t appreciate Cullen’s sarcastic tone, but maybe she could use this to her advantage. “Do you want to go to the brewpub tonight or not?”
“I like Taco Night, but I’m happy to stay home tonight. It’s been a long week.”
She empathized with that. “You must be exhausted.”
He opened the refrigerator. “Let’s go next week.”
“You can go then.” She straightened. “I’m going tonight. I’ll call Bill.”
Cullen slammed the fridge door. “Why do you want to go so badly?”
“I’m desperate to get out of the house.”
He arched a brow. “Desperate?”
Sarah nodded. “I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to do, but enough is enough. I need to get out and do something. Have…”
“Fun,” he finished for her.
It would be fun to kiss him again. She didn’t dare admit that. “Lying around all day resting is the antithesis of fun. I can sit at the brewpub as easily as I can here.”
“You won’t be here alone.”
That was the problem tonight. She was alone with him. “I’ve enjoyed having people around. Everyone is nice and we’re getting to know each other. But I need to get out, have a change of environment, scenery, whatever you want to call it, or I’m going to lose my mind.”
Or burn with unspent desire.
Kissing Cullen again would send her over the edge completely.
Going to the brewpub made the most sense. The other option—spending the evening at home with Cullen—didn’t seem like a smart idea. Sure, they’d agreed not to kiss again, but they’d also agreed to divorce. Who knew what could happen with the two of them here alone tonight? She didn’t want to take any chances. She couldn’t afford more kisses. She couldn’t lose her heart to him. That would destroy her.
“Leanne told me about the soft pretzels with the house dipping sauce,” Sarah explained. “I love pretzels.”
“I didn’t know that.”
She wished he had made more time for her so they could have gotten to know each other better.
“I didn’t know about your broken arm.” Sarah waited for him to respond. She didn’t understand his hesitation. “If you’d rather stay home, that’s fine. Bill will drive me if you’re not up for it.”
Cullen’s nostrils flared. “I’m up for it.”
“But you said—”
“I changed my mind, okay?”
More than okay. She didn’t care if jealousy was the reason or not, even if it gave her an unexpected rush of feminine power. “It’s great. Thanks.”
“Take a short nap first,” he ordered in that oh-so-strict doctor’s voice of his.
Such a change from the way he’d been kissing and touching her a few minutes ago. She gave a mock salute. “Aye, aye, Captain. Pillows are fluffed and the sheet turned down ready for nap, sir.”
If only he’d join her…
Playful images flitted through her mind. Her temperature rose.
