скачать книгу бесплатно
Sarah noticed how Jake and Carly smiled at each other a lot. The same with Sean and Zoe.
A diamond-engagement-ring-size lump lodged in Sarah’s throat. These happy couples gave her hope some marriages could succeed. They also were a harsh reminder of how hers had failed.
How did some people get so lucky? That was what she wanted to know.
A plate with two large pretzels and a small bowl of mustard dipping sauce appeared in front of her. She looked over her shoulder to see Cullen standing there.
He smiled. “You wanted to try a pretzel.”
His gesture touched her. If only they could have been one of the lucky couples. “I do.”
“The pretzels are almost as good as the root beer,” Carly said.
Zoe flipped her hair. “The pretzels are better.”
“Try one,” Cullen urged.
“Listen to the good doctor,” Leanne said. “He would never lead you astray.”
No, he had only turned Sarah’s world inside out by making her believe happy endings were possible. But they weren’t for her. She took another sip of her root beer.
Cullen held a piece of pretzel in front of her face. Mustard covered an end. “Open up.”
The lump in her throat doubled. She looked up at him.
A devilish smile curved his lips. “You know you want it.”
Her heart slammed against her chest. What was he doing? This felt like…flirting.
As he brought the pretzel closer, wicked laughter lit his eyes.
She parted her lips and cautiously bit off the end of the pretzel. The bread, salt and mustard sauce complemented each other perfectly. But she was more interested in the way Cullen looked at her—as though he wanted to taste her.
“How is the pretzel?” Jake asked.
The pretzel. Right. She focused on the men at the far end of the table. “Delicious. Like the root beer.”
But not quite as yummy as Cullen. Her pulse picked up speed, accelerating as if she were tumbling downhill. Which was what she’d be doing if she didn’t stop acting like a lovesick teenager. She looked away to find Zoe, Leanne and Carly staring at her with rapt interest.
Sarah sipped her root beer. She understood their curiosity. Cullen feeding her made them seem like a couple. She had no idea what was going on and wasn’t sure she had the strength to find out. Kissing him had been bad enough. Getting her hopes up and then discovering this was another fantasy would hurt worse than being hit by another steam blast.
No, thank you.
On the drive home from the brewpub, Sarah closed her eyes. The evening had taken its toll, physically as well as emotionally. If anything, seeing Carly and Jake Porter and Zoe and Sean Hughes together had made Sarah realize how far apart she and Cullen really were. And always had been. She sighed, not a sigh of frustration but of resignation for what would never be.
The truck’s engine stopped. She opened her eyes. The porch light illuminated the path to the cabin’s front door through the darkness. The night was playing tricks on her vision. The distance appeared longer than it really was. Too bad that wasn’t the case with the separation between her and Cullen and their dreams.
“Tired?” Cullen sounded concerned.
Through the shadows in the truck’s cab, she saw his worried gaze upon her. Their situation would be easier to handle if he didn’t act as though he cared what happened to her.
Cullen is so overprotective of you.
Too bad he was the same way with everyone he knew. Strangers, too. “I’m a little tired.”
That gave her a good excuse to go straight to her room. No reason to linger and wish for what might have been or a good-night kiss.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
Sarah climbed out of the truck and hurried to the front door.
Cullen followed at her heels. “Slow down.”
Sarah didn’t. She couldn’t. All the happy couples tonight were an in-her-face reminder. She wasn’t like the women she’d been with tonight. She would never have the perfect kind of wedded and domestic bliss the others had achieved. She could never be a perfect, proper wife. She wasn’t made that way.
He unlocked and opened the door.
Sarah stepped inside ready to retreat to her room, but a hand touched her left shoulder. She nearly jumped.
“Let’s sit for a minute,” Cullen said, so close she could smell him, musky and warm and inviting.
The ache in her stomach increased. “Can’t this wait until morning?”
“No.” He led her to the sofa. “It won’t take long.”
Of course it wouldn’t. Cullen never liked to talk. Sarah remembered all the times she’d needed to talk to him, but he’d retreated and left her more upset. She didn’t want to do the same thing to him. She took a seat.
He sat next to her. “You looked like you were having fun tonight.”
She nodded. “Your friends are very nice.”
“They like you,” he said. “Especially Paulson.”
Sarah blew out a breath. “Bill’s harmless.”
“As harmless as a howitzer tank and about as subtle.”
That made her smile.
“I’m glad you talked me into going,” Cullen said. “Seeing you with everyone tonight. Laughing and joking. It’s like you’ve been a part of the group forever.”
Sarah stiffened. “What do you mean? I’m nothing like your friends. They’re so…domestic.”
“Paulson isn’t.”
“Domestic isn’t the right word.” She backtracked. “What I mean is they’re caretakers. They look out for each other. All for one. I’m more of an…adventurer.”
“Your research will save lives in the future. I don’t know how much more of a caretaker you could be.”
Cullen was wrong. She could never be the kind of wife he wanted. “I’m a loner, not the family type. Nothing like Carly, Zoe and Hannah. Or your mother and sisters…”
“What about my mom and sisters?” he asked.
Oops. Sarah hadn’t meant to say that aloud. “It’s nothing.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“It’s just…” Sarah rubbed her mouth. “Well, it was pretty obvious your family didn’t like me much.”
Cullen flinched as if she’d slapped him. “That’s not true.”
Sarah raised her left shoulder, but she knew her gut instincts were 100 percent correct. She wasn’t proper wife material. “It is. The way your family acted that Easter. I’ve never felt so inadequate in my life.”
He made a face. “Come on.”
The disbelief in his voice set her nerves even more on edge. She hadn’t fitted into his family’s out-of-this world holiday at all. “I wanted to help with dinner. I tried to help. But I only got in their way. They kicked me out of the kitchen and told me to go find you.”
“That’s because they didn’t want to put you to work. You were a guest.”
“A guest.” The word tasted like ash in her mouth. “I was your wife. I thought I was family.”
She’d wanted to be family. More than anything. But that hadn’t happened. She could never be the kind of wife he would want. That was when she’d realized his family would never accept her and Cullen wouldn’t want her.
Tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them away.
He started to speak, then stopped himself.
Sarah wasn’t surprised he had nothing more to say. She picked at the cast’s padding around her fingers.
Cullen leaned toward her. “I should have told you. Warned you.”
The regret, thick and heavy, in his voice shocked her. “About what?”
His clouded gaze met hers. “Easter. My family. Blaine.”
“What does your twin brother have to do with this?” she asked.
“Everything.”
The one word sent a chill down Sarah’s spine. Cullen’s grief and sadness were as clear as they’d been that afternoon at Red Rocks when he’d mentioned his twin brother who had died. That was the one and only time he’d spoken of Blaine. She’d asked a few questions, but he’d never answered them.
She reached for his hand. His skin felt cold, not warm as usual. “You told me Blaine died when you were in college.”
“He died on Easter.”
Surprise washed over her. Cullen had never told her any details. “On Easter Sunday?”
Cullen nodded. His hand wrapped around hers. Squeezed. “Blaine used to love Easter. He always wanted more decorations and food. There were never enough eggs and candy for him. Because of what happened, my family goes all out on the holiday. Overcompensates.”
She sat back, stunned and angry he hadn’t shared this information with her. Not telling her about breaking his arm as a kid was one thing, but this…
Вы ознакомились с фрагментом книги.
Для бесплатного чтения открыта только часть текста.
Приобретайте полный текст книги у нашего партнера:
