скачать книгу бесплатно
I’m like deaf and dumb, I can’t understand what he’s saying… (Marianna’s thoughts). The doctor continued to bustle around, checking her pulse every five minutes.
It seems to have eased…
Using a translator, Marianna understood that the doctor told her to come here every day. What is wrong with me… it’s all the Sun…
To Live
The restaurant had an abundance of food, shrimp were being served, meat was roasting on a spit, possibly lamb. I don’t want to eat at all, but I have to force myself. To live, I have to eat something. In the morning, I forced myself to eat an omelet. I sat and chewed, putting piece by piece into my mouth, and told myself: this is necessary to live. Funny… to pay for a seven-day tour in Egypt and not try anything. At least I’m alive.
No You
To hear you,
Where you are not…
The dawn has quietly flared —
A blush of dawn.
You’ll ask: “Where are you wandering?”
I’ll answer in return…
Here you are – seemingly close,
But you are not there…
It’s madness,
It’s a mirage.
You are not there – as if,
My heart is cut out…
Lady in Profile
Egypt. Hotel “Grand Royal”. A being sat on a chair at a café table. It was Marianna. She stared with a doll-like gaze into the distance, beyond the horizon, where the sea is, where the wind begins. Her figure was like a painting. Her dress, her most beautiful dress with roses, clung to her body. Marianna took several photos, or rather asked a girl to photograph her, and she could post them on Facebook[7 - Extremist organisation banned in the Russian Federation. hereinafter], the pensive lady in profile. If only her Facebook followers knew how she felt… what lay behind her mask-like, ghostly face; if they knew that I can’t eat, can’t sleep, and I go to Doctor Badya because I almost died. After posting the photo on Facebook[8 - Extremist organisation banned in the Russian Federation. hereinafter], Marianna thought: I’m not sure I look good, probably everyone in the city sees me suffering with a very sad face, looking into the distance. But then a comment came in from the mother of my patient: “Dear Marianna Ivanovna! You are very beautiful! Have a good rest!”
Not Love
The tracks are covered this winter evening…
You told me – it’s not love, these meetings of ours.
My head is spinning, what is this?
I don’t want to find words, I believe in something else.
Somewhere,
Sometime,
To be born again!
My head will spin,
I’ll soar like a free bird!
I’m free from shackles!
The taste of love is not needed!
To soar like a bird among dreams,
Love makes everything worse!
Who invented this love?
I want to get drunk!
I’m free from shackles,
I’ll soar like a free bird!
Day of Calls
Marianna is sitting on the veranda of a hotel in Sharm El Sheikh. Her heart is still pounding, and her hands are trembling. She didn’t sleep well again and has no appetite at all. How untimely…
A message from the travel agent in Semivetrinsk on Viber: “How are you? How was the trip and have you settled in?”
She has to respond. With trembling hands, Marianna writes: “Everything is fine, the hotel is good.”
“Enjoy your vacation,” comes the reply. Then a call: it’s from Evgenia. Marianna picks up the phone.
“Hi, how are you?”
“Fine,” Marianna says in a quiet voice. If only they knew how unwell I am here… I feel out of place.
“Have you been anywhere?” Evgenia’s voice comes through. “Go to the Orthodox church there.”
“I don’t know, I’d have to go into the city, maybe take a taxi,” Marianna replies, thinking.
“Bring me something if you go to the church, bring me a cross or an icon.”
“Okay, if I get there.”
“Well, bye, enjoy your vacation.”
Then a message came on Viber from the Chief Administrator at work:
“How’s your vacation?”
“Fine, it’s very hot,” Marianna replies.
“Seek refuge in men.”
In men… what does she mean by that… Though, there are options, maybe it will indeed help…
Mephistopheles and Eros
Sharm El Sheikh.
During the day, I planned to take a walk around the hotel surroundings. Strangely, there were no people around, just solitary buildings on both sides of the road, beautiful stone structures in Arabic style, and complete desolation as if everything had vanished… Ahead, there were several stalls, seemingly open. Arab vendors waved their hands, inviting visitors to their shops. I walked over to take a look.
Right at the entrance of one shop, I noticed hanging crosses, different ones with crucifixes. I had promised Evgenia to buy a cross… I took one off the nail. It was a medium-sized cross, nice-looking, with a crucified Christ on a red background.
– How much is this?
– Three dollars.
– Oh… that’s a lot…
– Well, two, – the Arab vendor showed with his fingers.
– Okay.
I looked further, choosing a turquoise scarab beetle and magnets. The vendor started calculating.
– Ten dollars.
I shook my head in disagreement: – Let’s do eight for everything.
– Well, seven and a half, – the vendor said.
– Alright… what is he counting so much for?
I scrutinized the appearance of this vendor. Why was I staring at him like I was petrified: he was hunched, squinting eyes, a sharp beard, a cunning look, sorting through his scarab beetles and various trinkets. It struck me: he resembled Mephistopheles or a demon. His movements were quick, and he was always lying. I bargained with him, but he still tried to deceive.
It’s definitely an evil one, a demon…
I hurried out of the shop, I wanted to turn around and go back to the hotel; but the dark-skinned Arab from the neighbouring shop was inviting me with his gaze. I didn’t want to offend him; I should go into his “tent”.
I felt the odours with all my being; they were the scents of wonderful herbs, perfumes, everything sweet and oriental, like the scent of orgasm.
The seller – a young handsome Arab with a straight face, slowly moving his hand as in some kind of theatre invited: “Look here, and here…". He took a bunch of unfamiliar herbs from a box on the counter and held it out to my nose. I was in a halo, a haze, a cocoon; I felt light, the sexiest, I was a glowing goddess, a warmth spreading through me, in my belly and in me, like in the bosom of passion. There were a lot of herbs in the boxes on the showcase and I was like in a stupefaction – a dream – inhaling everything at once.
– And this… a special aroma, – offers again a handsome Arab.
– Sit down here, I’ll offer you tea, – and the incense seller gently touched Marianne’s hand.
Marianne, fuming with herbs and perfume scents, sat down on a sofa in the shop.
The Arab sat down beside her and began to carry on a conversation.
His words floated a slow elixir of voluptuousness and ecstasy. It felt good to just sit on the sofa and feel like a goddess. I had fallen to the God Eros, the God of pleasure and voluptuousness.
From the shop I could see the neighbouring empty buildings in the next street. It’s just him and me. I’m the brave one.
– I want to invite you to my palace tonight. I have a house, – the Arab pointed towards the deserted streets. I’ll love you, we’ll have sex. О.. I will love you for a long time.
Marianne choked on her tea.
– You’re afraid … – cautiously Arab.
– I’m in the evening, a bit busy…
– We can go now… – unobtrusively persuades the Egyptian.
– О… you’ll love it. I’ve got a huge one, it’s not like everyone else’s, it’s a giant, – pointing to the bottom of his trousers. I’ll love you for hours, I can love you for 24 hours with my huge one. Marianne became afraid, he will love…; one can die from such a thing, how such a thing can be endured… A normal man, he once – twice and everything, well, a minute there sex, fidgeted and everything, but here strength, a huge cock, you can die just.
And if you really agree and now go with him… in a deserted house… and her fragile body can’t take his love and I won’t come back. They’ll be looking for me all night. I think I’ll pass, and we should get out of here, Marianne looking at the road.
– Thank you, you’re very nice, but I have to go, I’ll come back tonight, I’ll come back for sure. Marianne jumped out and walked quickly past all the counters towards the hotel.
– I’ll be waiting… – Eros’ voice came from behind Marianne.
Marianne quickly rushed past the smiling Mephistopheles who was standing outside his shop.
A Heart-to-Heart Conversation
Sharm El Sheikh. Half past midnight. Marianna is sitting at a table in the hotel’s night bar. She notices Lucia at a table behind her. As she is about to leave, she approaches Lucia:
“Have a seat, sit with me,” says Lucia.
Marianna sits at Lucia’s round table.
“Help yourself,” says Lucia.
Marianna notices Dr. Badya’s figure slipping by in front, looking at Marianna and her companion. Watching, probably (Marianna’s thoughts).
“Bring me some whiskey,” Lucia says, pointing to a glass.
Marianna goes to the bar and brings back a glass of whiskey. She notices that there are already three half-drunk glasses of whiskey on the table and that Lucia isn’t drinking any of them.
“Bring more whiskey,” Lucia commands.
Marianna goes to the bar and asks for more whiskey, noticing how Lucia watches her stand in line for the bartender. After Marianna returns with another glass of whiskey, a quite satisfied Lucia gives Marianna a smile.
