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Affection for his grandmother wrapped around his every word. Saying goodbye to Gem would start that letting go, the beginning of a grieving process Johanna wished she could take from him or make easier. Even thinking about all the pain he would face watching his grandmother’s health fail squeezed at Johanna’s heart.
Before she could stop the impulse, she wrapped her arms around Stone.
Five (#u72d34d13-40c7-5cc5-97a4-021f60838f20)
Kissing Johanna had rocked his world, always had. But since they’d begun this trip, he’d been the one to make the first move each time they’d touched. Having Johanna reach for him sent Stone rocketing into another orbit altogether.
He didn’t need any further encouragement.
Sliding his arms around her, he breathed in her flowery scent and savored the silky tease of her braided hair gripped in his fist. The plane engines hummed an echo of the desire buzzing through his veins.
And to think, he’d almost messed this up.
His first instinct when she’d offered consolation had been to shrug off her sympathy. Then his better sense had kicked in. He had Johanna in his arms. Touching him. Sighing.
He skimmed a hand down her pulled-back hair, releasing more of that floral scent. Her slim body molded to him, the softness of her breasts against his chest so familiar. So damn perfect. He nuzzled her ear, right beside the filigreed dream catcher dangling from her lobe. Her arms tightened around him, her hand cupping his neck. Just the feel of being skin to skin sent his heart slugging against his ribs.
Her fingers stroked through his hair, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He kissed her, fully and thoroughly, with his mouth, his hands, his body. From the first time he’d touched her and tasted her, desire had pulsed through him. Stronger than any attraction he’d ever experienced. He’d known then. Johanna was special.
For years he’d seen her as only that kid wandering around the stable yard. Everything had changed the day she’d come riding in after getting caught in a rainstorm. Her clothes had been plastered to her body. He’d gathered a couple of towels to give her. Two pats in and he’d known. He’d wanted her.
Still did.
That had been two years ago, a couple of years after she’d finished vet tech school and taken a job at the Hidden Gem Ranch. A year later they’d been engaged. Five months later, she’d returned his ring.
His mind shied away from that part and back to the passion, the connection, the need. He stroked along her spine until he reached the waistband of her jeans. Her layered tank tops had ridden up to expose a patch of skin. He palmed her waist, drawing her closer. She wriggled nearer, her fingers gripping his hair, her mouth moving along his, meeting him kiss for kiss, touch for touch.
She might have only meant to console him, but she was clearly every bit as moved as he was by the moment. She wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. There wasn’t a question in his mind.
He reclined her onto the sofa, stretching out over her. Her long legs twined with his. A husky moan vibrated in her throat. Her head fell back and she arched into the press of his mouth as he kissed down her neck.
Tucking a hand between them, he slid the button free on her jeans, then flicked her belly button ring. His thumb recognized the jewelry from touch, a tiny silver boot with spurs and a diamond stud at the top. Possessiveness stirred deep in his gut. He’d given it to her early in their relationship, when she’d still wanted to keep their connection a secret. She’d been nervous about people calling her an opportunist.
That she still wore the gift stoked his passion and made him bolder. He eased her zipper down link by link then dipped his hand inside. He knew the feel of her, had memorized every inch of her, but after months without her, there was also a newness to this moment. He slipped his fingers lower, lower still until he found...
Yes.
The slick proof of her arousal set his skin on fire. Her hips rolled as she surrendered to his touch. Her husky, needy whispers caressed his ears.
Her hands roved his back restlessly, her nails scoring a needy path down his spine, tugging the hem of his shirt from his suit pants. With a frenzied yank, she popped the buttons of his shirt. He pushed up her tank tops, and bare flesh met bare flesh, damn near sending him over the edge.
This was getting out of control fast. The pilot was a simple door away. Stone had hoped to steal a kiss but he hadn’t dared hope things would go this far. He needed to ensure their privacy. The sleeping area in back was small but plenty sufficient to make thorough love to her. He’d done so more than once as he’d sought to romance her around the world.
Easing his hand from her jeans with more than a little regret over losing her sweetness for even a brief break, he rolled from her, keeping his mouth sealed to hers. He tucked both arms under Johanna and lifted her against his chest. More than once he’d carried her to bed or to his desk or to a field of bluebonnets. On this realm, at least, they were in perfect synch with one another.
“Stone—” she nipped his ear with a husky sigh “—you have to know this isn’t a wise idea, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to say no.”
“I never claimed anything about our relationship was logical.” He shouldered open the door to the jet’s sleeping quarters.
She cupped his face in her hands. “What do you mean by that?”
He adjusted his hold on her as he neared the bed covered in a thick comforter. Dim pot lights overhead illuminated the small jet cabin. “I’ve always known that you are too good for me. It was only a matter of time until you figured it out.”
Her forehead furrowed. “Is that really how you felt, or are you manipulating me because I’m having a weak moment?”
Manipulating her? Is that what she really thought of him?
Her words splashed cold reality over him. This wasn’t the right time to take her back into his bed again. He’d made considerable progress just now and he didn’t intend to lose ground by pushing for too much too soon. If he slept with her now, she might never trust him enough for a second time...and hell, yes, he knew once would not be enough.
He lowered her feet to the ground. The glide of her body against his made him throb all the harder, almost changing his mind and to hell with wisdom. He wanted—needed—her now so damn much his teeth ached.
Almost.
“You’ll have to decide that for yourself.” He backed away, his hands up between them, trying to keep his eyes firmly focused on her face rather than on the gorgeous tangled mess of her hair and the open vee of her jeans. “And when you do, if you still want us to sleep together again, just say the word and I’ll be there before you can say ‘let’s get naked.’ But I need to know you’re in one hundred percent, no regrets.”
He pivoted away and out the door before he made a liar out of himself and tangled up in the sheets with her for what he knew would be the best sex of their lives.
* * *
Five hours later, in Vermont, Johanna’s brain was still spinning with confusion after how close she’d come to sleeping with Stone again.
Sleeping? More like unraveling in his arms at just one touch.
At least she had the distraction of a picnic lunch with the Donavan family while she gathered her thoughts. She and Stone had brought Gem along to meet them, while the other three dogs unwound in a fenced area around the guesthouse where Stone and Johanna would be staying tonight.
The late lunch with the Donavan family was an intriguing surprise. Johanna sat at a rustic picnic table while Hillary Donavan pushed her snoozing infant son in a baby swing under a sprawling sugar maple tree. Hillary was so down-to-earth she could have been Johanna’s redheaded cousin, complete with freckles and a high swinging ponytail. Johanna felt at ease, something she hadn’t expected once she’d heard who they would be visiting first.
Hillary’s husband was every bit as approachable in spite of his notorious history as the Robin Hood hacker. Wearing a fedora with his khaki shorts and T-shirt, Troy ran alongside Stone playing fetch with Gem in a field of red clover.
The Donavan homestead was as understated as the couple. A 1920s farmhouse perched on a low rolling hill. A porch wrapped around the first floor and black shutters bracketed the windows.
Bit by bit she saw the amenities added into the landscape so artfully she’d barely noticed. A pool nestled near a wooded area with rock ledges and a waterfall gave it the appearance of a stream feeding into a pond—a clear, chlorinated pond. A child’s playhouse had been built from wood under a massive tree. A security fence enclosed the entire two-acre property—which enabled her to check a box on the adoption application. A lab like Gem would need a safe place to run out her energy with this wonderful family.
She sipped her iced tea, finally beginning to relax now that part one of their mission appeared to be a success. The lunch together had been just what Johanna needed to unwind after the tension of the past twenty-four hours. The meal had been beyond delicious without being overly elaborate. A juicy fruit salad accompanied loaves of hearty peasant bread and deli meats, cheeses and spreads of their choice. Fresh-squeezed lemonade. And the ice cream... Her mouth watered as she finished off another bite of fresh maple walnut ice cream. These parents were clearly trying to give their child as normal a life as possible, given little T.J.—Troy Junior—was the offspring of one of the wealthiest men in the world.
Hillary wrapped her arms around her knees as she hitched her feet up onto the bench by the redwood picnic table. “We appreciate you going to so much trouble to bring Gem to us. He’s such a great dog, playful but well trained.”
“Thank you for letting us invade your home. We could have met in a park or somewhere generic for you to see Gem.”
“I loved time at the park as a child, but I’m still nervous about taking T.J. out in public for security reasons.” Hillary’s hand fell protectively to stroke the baby’s head.
The Donavan compound clearly had top-of-the-line security that could rival Fort Knox, including computerized keypads discreetly hidden and staff that could have doubled as bouncers. Johanna had never thought about the safety issue with Stone’s upbringing. How difficult it must have been for his family to balance all that wealth with values. He’d clearly been born into a vast dynasty, but he had a strong work ethic. She’d always admired that about him.
Apparently, the Donavans felt the same.
“Well, Hillary, I have to say this is definitely more comfy than a park. It’s generous of you to host us overnight.”
The thought of being alone with Stone tonight was starting to sink in. Her skin tingled at the notion.
Hillary’s gaze scanned the low rolling hills around their home. “We bought this place to give T.J. the kind of upbringing neither of us had.”
Johanna angled her head to the side. “Where did you grow up?”
“Here in Vermont actually, but much more scaled back and...well...not secure.” She looked back at Johanna. “I love my mom, but she was troubled. Actually, she was an alcoholic. It took us a long time to reconcile, but I’m glad we found a way to make peace before she passed.”
“Oh, um, I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she said, feeling totally inadequate. Sorry was such a lame, overused word. “Is the rest of your family still nearby?”
“My sister, yes. Troy and I have extended family, as well, the kinds of friends that are as close as relatives. We visit each other as often as we can, but we all bought vacation homes in Monte Carlo so our kids can have a sense of growing up together like cousins.”
Hillary’s shoulders lost much of their tension at the mention of her husband’s close friends, and she launched into a story about their most recent trip to Monaco for a Formula One racing event.
The baby boy squawked awake in his swing, stopping Hillary midstory. With already expert hands, she scooped up her newborn and declared, “He needs changing and I didn’t bring enough diapers out here. If you’ll excuse me for a few minutes, I’ll be right back.”
“Of course. Take your time. I’m enjoying the sunshine.” And trying so very hard not to be envious of Hillary’s glowing happiness.
As if to rub salt in the wound in her aching heart, Troy noticed his wife’s departure and took off after her in a slow jog, Gem loping alongside him having already transferred his doggy allegiance to the Donavans.
Stone peeled away and strode back toward her, so damn handsome he took her breath away. Yet she knew even if he turned gray and paunchy, the essence of the man would be the same.
Strong. Driven. Accomplished. Charismatic.
And still determined to deny himself—both of them—the family happiness she craved. As much as she wanted him, she couldn’t bring herself to settle for less than everything.
* * *
Taking a seat beside Johanna at the picnic table, Stone saw the wistfulness in her eyes as she watched the family tableau. He knew, without question, he’d put that pain there. Guilt threatened to drive him to his knees.
This whole afternoon of domestic bliss had been tough for him, as well, reminding him of all the times he’d seen his cousins with their parents while he sat on the periphery. He’d moved past wanting that for himself and realized he was better off not inflicting the same disappointment on offspring of his own. He knew his limitations. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be a parent, and he refused to let down a kid. A parent had to be 100 percent in. Otherwise it wasn’t fair to the child. Johanna would expect—and deserved—to have a spouse every bit as committed to home and hearth as she was, rather than some stonehearted guy with a crack baby past.
He didn’t want to think overlong about the man who would offer her that fairy-tale future, especially not with the feel and taste of Johanna still so fresh in his memory. The sun kissed her shoulders, which were bared in her sundress. He allowed himself at least a small indulgence and grazed his knuckles along the tanned skin, sweeping aside her golden French braid.
He cupped the back of her neck and massaged lightly. “Are you okay with the Donavans adopting Gem?”
“What do you think?” Her head lolled back into his touch. “I’m thrilled. Gem is going to a wonderful family. There’s nothing not to love about this.”
“I have to confess, it’s going even better than I’d hoped.” His thumb worked at a knotted muscle at the base of her skull. The silkiness of her skin and the light sigh passing her lips stirred him.
Her eyelids fluttered closed, her face a study in bliss. “Your grandmother will be relieved to hear the news.”
“I already texted her.” He waggled his cell phone before tucking it away again.
“You what?” Her emerald-green eyes snapped open, surprise and a hint of something else sparking. “That was mighty confident of you. What if I’d disagreed? I am a part of this process, you know.”
“I could tell you were okay with this about thirty minutes in.” His thumb brushed along her cheek before returning to the back of her neck again. “I may not be the right man for you, but I know you well.”
She swatted at his chest lightly. “Then why did you bother asking when you sat down with me a few minutes ago?”
“It was an excuse to talk to you, and God knows, I wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to touch you.” His voice went gravelly. His self-control was shot around her these days.
Her chest rose and fell faster in a tangible mirror of his arousal. “Why are you torturing us both this way?”
Hell if he knew the answer. “How about we both just enjoy the outdoors and sunshine? We have red clover instead of bluebonnets, but the love of the land is still here. Nothing is going to happen between us out here in the open, especially not with the Donavans nearby. There’s no harm. Accept the neck massage and relax.”
Some of the anger melted from her kinked muscles and she sagged back into his touch. “You always did give the best neck rubs.”
“It’s been a stressful couple of days.” He hadn’t wanted to leave Texas and now he couldn’t envision what life would be like after they returned. “I sent my grandmother photos of Gem with the Donavans.”
“That was thoughtful of you.”
“She texted back that she’s happy and relieved.” And he had to confess knowing he’d eased that worry for her made him as happy as if he’d landed a big new contract. “So yes, our task is twenty-five percent complete.”
“I know those photos must have brought Mariah a lot of joy.” Angling toward him, Johanna stroked along his eyebrows before cupping his face. Her fingertips were callused from work, but gentle, soothing, the hands of a healer. “We may not be meant to be married, but there was—is—so much about you that’s special. Otherwise I never could have fallen for you.”
“Yet, here we are.”
Silence settled between them, highlighting nature’s sounds of branches rustling in the wind and birds chirping.
Johanna’s eyes went sad, unshed tears glistening. “I wish things could be different for us, I truly do.”
He agreed 100 percent. But where did that leave them? “We haven’t talked about what happened between us earlier on the airplane.”
“What almost happened,” she amended.
“Right.” That sure put him in his place. Still, he couldn’t stop the urge to indulge in a week of no-strings sex, to make the most of one last chance to be with Johanna. “Do you still feel like I was trying to manipulate you?”
She eased back, her hand falling from his face, and she ducked her head to avoid his touch. “Nothing’s changed. We both know an affair can’t lead anywhere.”
“Not even a temporary fling,” he said in a joke, though he was more than half-serious.
She didn’t laugh. But she didn’t say no, either. She simply sat in silence as the wind sent a couple of stray maple leaves skittering across the picnic table.
Hope surged through him along with a pulse of heat in his veins. He knew they couldn’t have a long-term relationship, but he could feel her giving in to this week together. He pressed ahead. He just had to figure out what was holding her back. “Is there someone else?”
She choked on a laugh. “Are you serious? I live on your land, and I work at your family’s ranch. There aren’t any secrets.”
No secrets? She was wrong there. He’d been clueless about Alex’s feelings for her. “My cousin has a thing for you, and I didn’t know about that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, plumping the gentle curves of her breasts along the neckline of her yellow sundress. “I told you there’s nothing between Alex and me.”
“But he wants there to be more.” Stone’s jaw clenched at the thought of her with someone else. The possibility that someone could be his cousin, and that Stone would have to watch them together every day for the rest of his life, was still more than he could wrap his brain around without blowing a gasket. “That’s clear to me now. Although why I didn’t see it earlier is a mystery.”
“I can’t control what your cousin feels, but I can assure you those feelings are not returned.” She touched his wrist lightly, tentatively. “This isn’t Alex’s fault. People don’t always make wise choices about who to...be drawn to.”
“Are you talking about us now?”
Chuckling wryly, she squeezed his hand. “You truly are clueless if you even have to ask. No wonder you didn’t notice how Alex feels.”
Even though she insisted she didn’t want Alex, Stone still had to know more. “How far did things go with Alex before you realized you weren’t interested in him that way?”
