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Her heart fluttered in her chest. He couldn’t possibly be changing his stance on a family. Could he?
Afraid to wreck the moment by pushing, she changed the subject. “There’s quite a range of clothes you’ve bought for me.” She pointed to a rack with everything from jeans and slacks to sundresses and a couple of longer gowns. “Where else are we going?”
“My grandmother has a wide range of people lined up, even a couple of backups if someone doesn’t work out.”
She snagged an ice-blue lacy dress. “This looks fit for royalty.”
“You’re perceptive,” he said with a grimace.
She rolled her eyes, certain she must have misunderstood. “Really? Royalty, in addition to a former secretary of state.”
“Really.”
She froze, realizing he was serious. “All right,” she exhaled, sagging back against his chest. “If Sterling is going to the political powerhouse couple, that leaves Pearl and Ruby. Which one’s getting the tiara?”
“Ruby. Enrique Medina lost both of his Rhodesian ridgebacks this year to old age. He and my grandmother are friends. He’s even the one who recommended contacting General Renshaw about Sterling.”
Royalty. Honest-to-God royalty. Nothing would surprise her about this family again. “What about Pearl? Is she going to the Pope?”
Stone snorted on a laugh. “I’m sure he’s one of Gran’s backups.” He kissed her nose. “Seriously, though, I don’t know as much about the last family other than that they live on a ranch in Montana.”
“Are the formal gowns for the jewelers’ convention that you mentioned?” Her stomach gripped at the thought. Even with the fancy clothes, she was still a farm girl who felt most at ease in her jeans, with braided hair and a horse.
“I canceled that. The variety of dresses are so we can go out to dinner somewhere nice. Just the two of us, to thank you for coming along this week to ease my grandmother’s mind. Regardless of where we go from here, I will always be grateful for all you’ve done for Gran.”
She couldn’t help but be surprised again over how he was revealing more to her on this trip than she’d ever understood about him before. Had he suffered as much from their time apart? Or had confronting mortality with his grandmother’s illness brought down some walls? Either way, she couldn’t help but be drawn in by this man.
He tipped her chin for another kiss, one that couldn’t go any further with the day slipping away, but God, she was tempted. Because she couldn’t help but think these changes were too good to be true.
* * *
An hour later, Stone opened the hatch on their rental SUV to load up the dogs for their drive over to the Landis-Renshaw compound. Ruby loped into the back and he lifted scruffy little Pearl in, as well, a mesh barrier keeping them from taking over the front seat. He’d stowed their luggage in a cartop carrier. They looked like a regular family on vacation.
He rubbed the kink in his neck from lack of sleep, but he wouldn’t change a moment of their night together.
The waves glistened under the power of the noonday sun and he wished they could just blow off his grandmother’s plan and stay at the cottage for the rest of the week. He and Johanna had connected, just like in the past, and he was working hard to reassure her. Maybe he was deluding himself into hoping she could overlook the bigger issues if he corrected some other problems in their relationship.
To what end?
Did he really expect they would ride off into the sunset together? He had to be honest with himself and admit he wanted her back in his life on a permanent basis. But being equally honest, he wasn’t sure that was possible no matter how many closets full of comfy clothes and easygoing outings he came up with.
The beach cottage door opened, and Johanna stepped out with Sterling cradled in her arms. She’d chosen a simple flowery dress, loose and classic. But she looked good in everything she wore. His assistant had ordered everything and assured him the task would be easy. Johanna had pulled her hair back in a jeweled clasp—a Diamonds in the Rough piece. And of course she wore his grandmother’s horseshoe charm.
He struggled to resist the urge to scoop her up, carry her back inside and peel the dress off her. Instead, he held out his arms. “I’ll take Sterling.”
She shook her head, her ponytail sweeping along her spine the way his hands ached to do. “I’ll hold him. I’m feeling sentimental about saying goodbye to him. I keep thinking about the day your grandmother got him as a puppy.”
He closed the back hatch and walked around to open her door. “I always think of you as being there for the horses. I forget sometimes that caring for the dogs falls under your job description, as well.” He leaned in the open door. “It will be tough for you to say goodbye to them, too.”
“I don’t have pets of my own...so yes.” She stroked the Chihuahua-dachshund mix. “I have become attached. But your grandmother is wise to make sure they’re placed. Too many animals end up at shelters when their owners pass away or go into nursing homes.”
“We would have taken them all for her. She has to know that.” Not a chance in hell would he have dumped Gran’s pets at the shelter. He closed the door, perhaps a bit more forcefully than he’d intended, but the reminder of a world without Mariah cast clouds over his day.
He walked around the hood and took his place behind the wheel. He swept off his Stetson and dropped it on the console between them. Starting the car, he pulled his focus back in tight before he landed them nose first in a sand dune. Navigating the beach traffic was tough enough.
Johanna’s hand fell to rest on his arm as he passed a slow-moving RV. “Clearly, Mariah has a plan in mind for them, and for your future, too. Never doubt for a second that she loves you.”
He glanced at her. “She loves you, too, you know.”
“Thank you—” she smiled “—but it’s not the same. I’m not family.”
“I’m not so sure.” His hands gripped the wheel tighter, settling into their lane along the ocean side road. “She was mad as hell with me when we broke up.”
“Why was she angry with you?” Johanna sat up straighter. “I was the one who ended our engagement. I made that abundantly clear to everyone.”
Had she made the breakup public to spare him blowback from his family? He’d been so angry at her then, he hadn’t given thought to the fact that a public breakup actually cast him in a more sympathetic light. He’d been too caught up in his anger—and hurt. “Gran said I had to have done something wrong to make you give back the engagement ring. And she was right.”
The breakup had been his fault, and nothing significant had changed. He still didn’t want children, and watching her cradle the dog, he couldn’t miss her deep-seated urge to nurture.
He felt like a first-class ass.
Johanna adjusted the silver collar around Sterling’s neck. “I’m sorry if I caused a wedge between the two of you.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he insisted, steering onto a bridge that would take them to their barrier island destination. “I’m an adult. My relationships are my own problem.”
“She’s trying to matchmake, sending us on this trip together.” Johanna traced the top of his hat resting between them.
No kidding. “I’m sure that was a part of her plan, no matter what she said, but the rest is still true.” Miles of marshy sea grass bowed as they drove deeper into the exclusive beach property of Hilton Head, the South’s answer to Martha’s Vineyard. “She doesn’t trust me to see to the dogs, and she’s right. I would have screwed it up.”
“I seriously doubt that,” Johanna said with a confidence he didn’t feel when it came to this subject.
“I wouldn’t have been as thorough as you’ve been.” He’d been impressed and surprised during the meet and greet with the Donavans. “I wouldn’t have even thought of half the things you’ve done to make sure Gem’s in the right home and that the transition goes smoothly for her.”
“Gem’s going to miss your grandmother.” She swept a hand under her eyes and he realized she’d teared up. “There will be grieving on his part as well.”
“Are you trying to make me just skip the rest of this trip and take the dogs home with us? Because I’m about five seconds away from doing that,” he half joked. “In fact, much more of this and I’ll even snatch Gem back.”
She responded with a watery laugh. “Don’t you dare. The Donavans are a fantastic family for Gem, as Mariah clearly already knew.” She reached into her bag and pulled out dog treats. She passed two over the mesh to Pearl and Ruby, before offering another to Sterling. “They’re not cutie pie little puppies anymore, and placing an adult dog can be difficult. And we definitely don’t want someone taking in the dogs in hopes of gaining favor with your grandmother.”
Protectiveness pumped through him. “I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Of course not. You’re a good man.”
“Such a good man my grandmother has to test me and you dumped me flat on my ass,” he said wryly.
She scooted closer, slipping her hand to the back of his neck. “I miss the happy times between us. Last night was...incredible.”
What an odd time to realize she was “soothing” him the same way she soothed Sterling, using her dog whisperer ways on him. “So you do acknowledge it wasn’t all bad between us.”
“Of course it wasn’t all bad,” she said incredulously.
“Specifics.” He might as well use this time to get whatever edge he could.
“Why?” Suspicion laced her voice. “What purpose will it serve?”
“Call it a healing exercise.” And the hope of figuring out a way to have more with her tomorrow.
“Okay, uh...” Her hand fell back to the dog in her lap. “I appreciate the way you support my work. Like the time I’d already pulled extra hours on my shift, but the call came from a shelter in South Texas in need of extra veterinary help for neglected horses seized by animal control. You drove through the night so I could sleep before working.” Her mouth tipped in a smile, her eyes taking on a faraway look. “Then you didn’t sleep. You rolled up your sleeves and helped.”
He had to haul his gaze away from the beauty of her smile before he rear-ended the car in front of them. “We accomplished a lot of good together that day.”
“We did. And I know it was you who encouraged your grandmother to help sponsor this year’s big charity event to help save the wild mustangs.”
He shrugged, her praise making him itchy. “We needed a tax write-off.”
“You’re not fooling me.” She swatted his arm.
He searched for the right words. “My family has worked hard and been very lucky. We’re in a position to do good.”
“Not everyone makes the same choices as your family. I don’t even know that I’d fully thought about it in such concrete terms until now. Your grandmother instilled solid values in all of you.”
“Very diplomatic of you not to mention what my mom or Amie and Alex’s parents could have shared.” Diplomatic and astute.
“I’m sorry that your mother couldn’t be a true parent for you.”
“Don’t be.” The warmth of the day chilled for him. “She broke Gran’s heart. And Uncle Garnet wasn’t much better, but at least he tried to build a normal family life. He went to work every day even if he wasn’t particularly ambitious.” Or willing to stand up to his overly ambitious wife. “Gran always said she babied him and she wanted to be sure she didn’t make the same mistake with us.”
“Your aunt Bayleigh was ambitious enough for the both of them.” She shuddered dramatically.
“True enough.” There was no denying the obvious. “She pushed the twins for as far back as I can remember. Although I gotta confess, even their flawed family looked mighty damn enticing to me as a kid.”
“You wanted to live with them.”
She sounded surprised, which made him realize yet again how little of himself he’d shared with the woman who was supposed to have been the most important person in his life. If he wanted even a chance at being with her again, he had to give what he could this time.
“I did want to be their kid,” he admitted. “Gran even asked them once if they would be interested in guardianship of me, but their plate was full.”
She gasped. “That had to be so painful to hear.”
To this day, he was glad no one had seen him listening in. He couldn’t have taken the humiliation of someone stumbling on him crying. Looking back, he realized he must have only been in elementary school, but the tears had felt less than manly on a day when he already felt like a flawed kid no one wanted.
“It worked out for the best.” He found himself still minimizing the pain of that experience. “Gran was a great parental figure. And my mother, well, she was a helluva lot of fun during her sober stints.”
The words came out more bitterly than he’d intended. Thank God, they were pulling up to the security gate outside the Landis-Renshaw compound because he’d had about as much “sharing time” as he could take for one day. Much more of this and he would start pouring out stories about being a crack baby, who still cringed at the thought of all the developmental psychologists he’d visited before he’d even started first grade.
He was managing fine now, damn it, and the past could stay in the past.
The wrought-iron security gates loomed in front of them, cameras peeking out of the climbing ivy. He rolled down his window and passed over his identification to a guard posted in his little glass booth with monitors.
The guard nodded silently, passed the ID back, and the gates swung open. Now he just had to figure out how to say goodbye to another family pet and pretend it didn’t matter that the only family he’d known would soon fall apart when his grandmother died. She’d been his strength and his sanity. She’d literally saved his life as a baby. She was a strong woman, like Johanna.
As he watched Johanna cuddle the dog in her lap, he realized he hadn’t taken this dog placement trip seriously, which was wrong of him. He’d just followed Johanna’s lead in shuffling his grandmother’s pets to new families, not thinking overlong about the loss, just going through the motions. His grandmother, Johanna—the dogs—all deserved better than that from him.
For the first time he considered that perhaps his grandmother hadn’t been matchmaking after all. Maybe she had been trying to help him understand why Johanna was better off without him.
Eight (#u72d34d13-40c7-5cc5-97a4-021f60838f20)
Settled deep in the front seat of the SUV, Johanna wrapped her arms around the dachshund mix in her lap and wondered how she’d gotten drawn back into a whirlwind of emotions for Stone so quickly.
At least once they arrived, she had the next few hours with people around to give her time to regain her footing before they were in a hotel together or some other romantic setting on this trip designed to tamper with her very sanity. She had time to build boundaries to protect her heart until she could figure out where they were going as a couple. Was this just sex for the week or were they going to try for more again? If so, they still had the same disagreements looming as before.
She hugged the dog closer as she looked through the window to take everything in. Could this day be any more convoluted? She was seconds away from meeting a political powerhouse couple. The general was reputed to be on the short list for the next secretary of defense. Ginger was now an ambassador and former secretary of state. Her oldest son was a senator. Who wouldn’t be nervous?
Stone, apparently.
He steered the car smoothly, but his mind was obviously somewhere else. “I never did know how Sterling ended up in my grandmother’s pack.”
His comment surprised her.
“One of her employees was older and developed Alzheimer’s. The retirement home the woman’s family chose didn’t allow animals.”
“That’s really rough. How did I not know that story?” His forehead furrowed as he steered the SUV up the winding path through beach foliage to the main house. “I wish my grandmother would have trusted me more to see to the animals after she’s gone so she could have the comfort of them now when she needs them most.”
Johanna stayed silent. She agreed 100 percent but saying as much wouldn’t change anything. The situation truly was a tough one. “It’s sad Sterling should lose his owner twice.”
“Life is rarely about what’s fair,” he said darkly before sliding the car into Park alongside the house.
He grabbed his hat and was out of the car before she could think of an answer. What was going on inside his head? This man never ceased to confuse her.
While she secured Sterling’s leash, she studied the grounds to get her bearings before she stepped out of the car. The beach compound was grander than the rustic Hidden Gem Ranch and more expansive than the scaled-back Donavan spread. She’d seen photos from a Good Housekeeping feature when she’d searched the internet for more details on the Landis and Renshaw families, who had joined when the widowed Ginger Landis married the widower General Hank Renshaw. But no magazine article could have prepared her for the breathtaking view as Johanna stared through the windshield. The homes were situated on prime oceanfront property. The main house was a sprawling white three-story overlooking the Atlantic, where a couple walked along the low-crashing waves. A lengthy set of stairs stretched upward to the second-story wraparound porch that housed the double door entrance.
Latticework shielded most of the first floor, which appeared to be a large entertainment area, a perfect use of space for a home built on stilts to protect against tidal floods from hurricanes. The attached garage had more doors than an apartment complex.
A carriage house and the Atlantic shore were in front of them. And two cottages were tucked to the sides around an organically shaped pool. The chlorinated waters of the hot tub at the base churned a glistening swirl in the sunlight, adults and kids splashing.
It was a paradise designed for a big family to gather in privacy. The matriarch and patriarch of the family—Ginger and the general—appeared on the balcony porch looking like any other grandparents vacationing with their family. Relatives of all ages poured from the guest quarters. Three other dogs sprinted ahead. Not quite the careful, structured meet and greet that worked best, but clearly this home was about organized chaos.
She stepped out of the car, setting Sterling on the sandy ground while she held tight to the leash. The family tableaus played out in full volume now. She could hear a little girl squealing with laughter while her dad taught her to swim in the pool. A mom held a snoozing infant on her lap while she splash, splash, splashed a toe in the water. Voices mingled from a mother’s lullaby to a couple planning a date night since grandparents could babysit.
Johanna saw her own past in the times her parents had taken her swimming in a pond and saw the future she wanted for herself, but couldn’t see how Stone would fit into it. She was killing herself, seeing all these happy families while was stuck in a dead-end relationship with a man who would never open up.
All luxury aside, this kind of togetherness was what she’d hoped to build for herself one day. Those dreams hadn’t changed. Which meant she’d landed herself right back into the middle of a heartache all over again.
* * *
Stone sat at a poolside table with Ginger and Hank Renshaw, pouring over their adoption paperwork. If anyone had told him a week ago that he would be grilling them to be sure Sterling would be a happy fit for their family, Stone would have said that person was nuts.
Yet here he was, quizzing them and watching the way they handled his grandmother’s dog— Correction. Their dog now. Sterling was curled up in Ginger’s lap, looking like a little prince, completely unfazed by the mayhem of children cannonballing into the deep end while a volleyball game took place on the beach.
