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“Tell me more about the vineyard we’re going to,” Bella prompted, breaking the heavy silence. Blake had arrived back at the beach house just that morning and announced they would be visiting some friends. “How do you know the owner?”
“He and I went to college together. We were both business majors, but even back then he had a passion for wine. His father expected him to take over the family business. They haven’t spoken in five years.”
“Because he bought the winery?” Bella shook her head in dismay. “What sort of parent cuts ties with their child because they don’t do exactly what the parent expects?”
Incredulous, Blake glanced her way. “There are all kinds of reasons why parents turn their backs on their children.” He hadn’t meant to start this particular conversation with Bella when they were on their way to visit his friends, but he couldn’t let the topic go without commenting.
“Is that a shot at Victoria or at me?”
Thanks to this week’s revelations, Blake now understood that Vicky didn’t care if she was in Drew’s life. He was far more interested in why Bella had turned her back on him.
“Why did you walk away last fall?”
“Because he didn’t need me. He had you and Victoria.”
Her practical answer didn’t make him feel any better. “And now that Victoria and I are divorced?” Blake knew it was too early to push his agenda, but he was too irritated to be patient. “Have you changed your mind about being a part of his life?”
“Don’t you think that will confuse him when he’s old enough to understand how he was conceived?”
More excuses. Blake unclenched his teeth and relaxed his jaw. “I think he’ll be more confused when he finds out there’s a woman who carried him for nine months who isn’t in his life.”
“And what happens when you remarry?” Her tone took on an aggressive note. “Do you really think your new wife will appreciate me hanging around when she’s trying to develop a relationship with him?”
“That’s a poor excuse.”
“It’s not. It’s what happened.” Bella must have heard the slip because she rushed on. “What will happen. If it was me, I wouldn’t want another woman hanging around. Interfering.”
The explanation Bella gave didn’t sound like her rationale.
“Vicky asked you to stay away.” Suddenly it all made sense. “That’s why you took yourself out of the picture after Drew was born.”
“She was terribly insecure about becoming a mother. If she’d been able to carry Drew, she wouldn’t have felt so disengaged from the process.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Vicky that would keep her from getting pregnant,” Blake said, curious how much his ex-wife had told Bella. “She was afraid of the damage a pregnancy would do to her body.”
“But—” Bella sputtered to a stop. When Blake looked over, she was staring at him in horror. “How do you know that?”
“A year ago, I found out she lied to me about her infertility.”
Blake remembered finding his wife’s birth control pills. He’d been too focused on starting a family to see that his wife wasn’t ready—wasn’t interested—in having children. And instead of being honest with him, she’d lied and gone along with his desire for a family. In the end, she’d chosen her career over him.
But now that she’d discovered that becoming an actress was tougher than she’d thought, she wanted him back. Did she really think him such a fool? Nothing about her had changed. When the next opportunity presented itself, she would leave them once more.
Bella stared at him in shock. “Is that why you are so resistant to reconciling?”
“It’s part of the reason. A marriage based on lies doesn’t have much hope of lasting, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Absolutely.” She knitted her fingers together in her lap. “I don’t understand why she would do something like that.”
“Maybe at first she hoped I’d eventually give up my desire to become a father and then we could continue our active social schedule. She’d gotten her first taste of acting and wanted to do more. That would be impossible if she was pregnant.”
Blake had thought he’d gotten past his bitterness, but it rose in his gut like acid. “Perhaps you can understand now why I’m going to put Drew’s needs first the next time I marry.”
“I do. But Victoria is pretty determined to win you back.”
“I agree. And it’s even more complicated because my stepsister is encouraging her.” Blake took his gaze off the road long enough to gauge Bella’s readiness for his next words. She had no idea what was coming. “But I know when they see you and me together, both Jeanne and Vicky will realize I’ve determined to go forward with my life.”
“Me?” Her voice cracked with skepticism. “I’m sure there are dozens of women that would be a better choice.”
“Not better for Drew.” Blake decided it was time for the gloves to come off. “I’ve thought about you a lot these last nine months.”
“You thought about me?”
“I had a hard time with your refusal to be in Drew’s life.”
Bella’s lips parted. She appeared to be grappling with what to say. Blake waited her out, wondering if she was ready to give him a different explanation than she had nine months ago.
At last she said, “I did it because Victoria asked me to.”
That was a relief. It meant she wasn’t the coldhearted woman she’d led him to believe.
“I understand and appreciate what you tried to do, however misguided.” Blake took one of her hands in his and played with her fingers. “And that means there’s nothing standing in the way of you being in Drew’s life.” Or in mine.
Bella pulled her hand free and stared out the side window. “In his life as what, exactly?” Her low voice was almost impossible to hear over the music coming from the backseat.
It was too early for Blake to reveal his true intentions. “As his mother.”
Her huge sigh told him she’d been expecting his words. “But I’m not his mother.”
“You gave him life.”
“As part of a business arrangement.”
Her answer kicked him hard in the gut. He ignored the ache and kept all pain from his voice. “Don’t tell me that’s all it was.”
“What do you want me to say?” Heartache thrummed in her tone.
“All I want from you is the truth.”
“Then here it is. If I’d had any hint how hard it would be to give him up, I would never have agreed to be your surrogate.” She gathered a shaky breath. “Never in a million years would I have guessed how attached I would get to the child I was carrying.”
Accepting her explanation gave him some peace. “You gave no indication that you felt that way while you were pregnant.”
Her lips drooped at the corners. “I was supposed to be carrying a child that could never be mine. How would you have felt if I’d told you I never wanted to let Drew go?”
“Devastated.”
She gave a tight nod. “Every day that went by I fell more deeply in love,” Bella continued. “By the time I was in my final trimester, I was seriously considering breaking our contract and going back to Iowa with Drew.”
Blake’s pulse hitched at how close he’d come to losing his son. “What stopped you?”
“I thought I was ready to do anything to keep him until I came here and spent those two weeks with you...and Victoria. I couldn’t put my happiness above yours.”
He sensed she hadn’t included Vicky in her deliberations. “Thank you. The gift you’ve given me is something I can never repay.”
“You’re welcome.” A ghost of a smile flitted across her lips. “But you’re wrong. The money you paid me saved my parents’ farm.”
“You never told me what you did with the money.”
Her eyes glittered. “And from your tone, I gather you thought I blew it on stupid things like clothes and partying?”
“New York can be an expensive place to live and you did give me the impression you’d been sucked in by the glamour.”
“I’ve always valued my privacy. When you live with nine other people, it’s a rare commodity.”
“So your parents kept their farm and I have a wonderful son.” His anger at her deception about being Drew’s biological mother was tempered by yet another example of her generous nature. “How exactly did you benefit from our arrangement?”
Her eyes widened at his question, as if she’d never thought to include herself in the equation. “I guess what I got out of it was a wonderful new life in New York City. I never would have stayed here if we hadn’t met. The couple I originally came out here to meet chose a different surrogate and I was on the verge of returning to Iowa when I got a call from the clinic about you and Victoria needing a surrogate.”
She appeared perfectly happy with how things had turned out, but Blake couldn’t help but believe she deserved more.
“I think you are the most unselfish person I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not as altruistic as you believe.”
“Really?” He recalled the bits he’d overheard from her phone conversations over the last several weeks. “What did you do with the salary advance I gave you?”
“I gave it to my sister Kate for her semester studying abroad in Kenya.”
“And the money you gave to Sean?”
“Repairs to the truck he just bought.”
“A truck you helped him buy?”
“He got a job in town this summer. If he doesn’t have a car, he won’t be able to get to work. He’s planning on going to college after high school. He’ll need to save as much as possible. If I can help in this small way, it will make things a little easier on him.”
“Does everyone in your family turn to you for financial help?”
“My parents do the best they can. Mom promised Sean six hundred dollars toward a truck, but then the tractor needed repairs.” Bella looked resigned. “There’s always something that needs fixing on the farm.”
“I was wrong earlier,” Blake said, amazed how she downplayed the number of sacrifices she made on behalf of her siblings. “You’re a saint.”
She laughed. “Hardly.”
It seemed as if her family didn’t hesitate to ask for all sorts of help. He considered how easy it would be for people to take advantage of her generous nature. Obviously Vicky had. He was beginning to understand why she’d be so reluctant to take on more responsibility with a family of her own.
“So who takes care of you?”
Her brows came together at his question. “I guess I do.”
Blake picked up her hand and carried it to his lips. Kissing her reverently, he declared, “You deserve someone who is willing to put you first.”
“I wouldn’t know what that’s like,” she admitted, tugging to free herself. “I’m compulsively drawn to people who need my help. It’s a pattern I’ve had no luck breaking. All my life I’ve taken care of my brothers and sisters. I don’t know how to do anything else.”
“That changes now.” Blake saw the sign for the Rosewood Winery and braked. “From this moment forward, I’m going to satisfy your every whim. It’s time you see what you’ve been missing.”
* * *
While the car rolled along a long driveway lined with neat rows of grapes that stretched endlessly in either direction, Blake’s promise reverberated in Bella’s mind. He was going to satisfy her every whim? Did he have any idea how incredibly tempted she was to let him do just that?
What would it be like to have Blake spoil her rotten? Just being with him brought her a joy she’d never known before. At the deepest level, his strength lulled her anxieties. Bella knew that if she stopped pushing him away, he would make her deliriously happy. But for how long? What he wanted for himself and for Drew was someone who would be completely dedicated to being a wife and a mother.
Long ago Bella had promised herself if she ever married it would be to someone who didn’t want to be tied down with kids. She wanted the freedom to travel, to be spontaneous, to not constantly worry about money. To put herself first.
The way Blake’s ex-wife had.
There were many things to criticize about Victoria’s behavior, but sometimes Bella envied the ex-model’s capacity for guilt-free self-indulgence. It would be nice to keep the money Blake was paying her instead of doling it out to her siblings. At the rate things were going back home, would her nest egg still be intact when it came time for the winter trip to the Caribbean?
“I need to warn you,” Blake said as he stopped the car in front of a house straight out of the Tuscan countryside. “If Sam starts talking about making wine, he will not stop unless you tell him to. I think I mentioned that he’s been obsessed with wine as long as I’ve known him. The same thing goes for growing grapes.”
“But we’re here to visit his winery.” Bella stepped out of the car and stretched. The drive had taken a little less than an hour, but their conversation hadn’t been an easy one and all her tension had sunk deep in her muscles. “Won’t he expect us to be interested in it?”
Before Blake could answer, the front door opened and a woman appeared. While Bella unfastened Drew’s car seat, the leggy redhead threw her arms around Blake.
“How wonderful to see you,” she cried. “And you brought Drew.”
“Julie, this is Bella.”
“What a pleasure to meet you,” Julie said.
Bella couldn’t help but like the woman’s energy. “Likewise.”
“Where’s Sam?” Blake asked as Julie coaxed a smile from a suddenly shy Drew.
“Do you really need to ask?” Julie hitched her head toward a group of buildings. “Why don’t you go say hello and tell him lunch will be served in fifteen minutes. Bella, Drew and I will go get acquainted.”
Julie led Bella around the house to a shady patio where several wicker chairs had been placed to take advantage of the views of the surrounding gardens and the acres of neatly planted grapes.
“I can’t get over how beautiful it is,” Bella exclaimed. “It looks just like the pictures I’ve seen of Italy. How big is your property?”
“About a hundred acres. Fifty-five of it is planted with grapes. The rest is pasture and my training facilities.”
“Blake mentioned you train horses. How long have you been doing that?”
“Professionally for about five years, but I grew up competing in dressage and eventing. It was Sam’s idea. I don’t know if Blake mentioned to you how obsessed my husband is about his wine.”
“He said Sam would talk my ear off if I let him.”
