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Bella stopped halfway across the lawn and faced the ocean. Lifting her face to the wind, she quieted her mind and listened for the truth.
In the past two years she’d learned a great deal about herself. She’d reimagined her dreams. She’d learned more about her strengths and desires. And she’d enjoy her time with Blake as long as it lasted. A day, a week or a month. Whatever she could have. If she was smart and kept her head on straight, she could do exactly as Deidre suggested and enjoy his company for as long as it lasted.
When it was done, they would part friends.
With Victoria and Blake’s marriage over, it was no longer necessary for Bella to keep away from Drew. But what sort of relationship did she want with him? Back when she’d given birth, Blake had expected her to stay in touch. Come to Drew’s birthday parties. Join them for dinner. Take him to the park. She would have been a family friend, an honorary aunt. That had been her intention until Victoria had asked her to stay away.
But Victoria was no longer in the picture. She’d chosen her career over her son. Rejected the baby that was supposed to keep her marriage together. Now the only women in Drew’s life were his nanny and Blake’s stepsister. And with Jeanne expecting a child of her own, how much time would she have to spend with Drew?
Bella could fill in here and there, but Drew deserved a full-time mother. Soon Blake would get past any lingering feelings of distrust left over from Victoria’s duplicity and remarry. That would leave Bella on the outside looking in again.
Which shouldn’t bother her. She didn’t want the responsibility of a child. But she didn’t like being an outsider looking in on her son’s life, either. As hard as it had been to cut all ties, each day she’d missed Drew a little less. Who knew—in a year or ten, she might have forgotten all about Blake and Drew if he had never found her at St. Vincent’s.
Bella laughed bitterly at her foolishness and lifted her face to the wind. The brine from the ocean mingled with the salt of her tears.
Instead, in less than three days, she’d made memories that would haunt her to her dying day.
* * *
Like the master bedroom, the nursery faced the back of the house. Blake stood before the large picture window, one hand on his son’s crib, and watched Bella return from the beach. Their lovemaking had been spectacular. Bella’s innocence refreshing. Her enthusiasm addictive. The play of emotion on her face fascinating. When he’d set his mouth on her, she’d been surprised. Shocked, even. Discovering each thing that pleasured her made him feverish to learn more. How many things could he introduce her to? The possibilities appeared to be endless.
The moon was three-quarters full and high overhead, providing enough light for him to follow the lone figure as she made her way across the lawn. Despite the distance between them, Blake could see the determined set of her shoulders. She strode toward the house as if marching into battle. What a fascinating woman she was. A perplexing blend of determination and insecurity, as if she knew what she wanted, but was afraid to grab it with both hands.
And tonight she’d wanted him. Her boldness had been a delightful surprise. After the way she’d pushed him away this afternoon, he’d assumed he’d spend the next week convincing her to fall into his arms. He’d never expected she’d arrive at the decision all on her own.
Not that he believed for one second that what had happened between them earlier meant that their relationship would proceed smoothly. Jeanne’s presence down the road and her goal of reuniting him with Victoria was a complication that wouldn’t just go away. If his stepsister had any inkling of what he intended for Bella, she would move heaven and earth to stop him.
The muffled sound of a closing door roused him out of his thoughts. Bella had returned to her room, not to his. As tempting as it was to follow her and resume what Drew had interrupted, Blake stayed put.
Earlier that evening he’d reaffirmed that he intended to put Drew’s needs before his own, and what his son required was a mother. So what was he doing with Bella? He couldn’t see their relationship going anywhere, because Bella wasn’t interested in being a part of the sort of family he wanted. One night of sex, no matter how amazing, wasn’t going to change her mind on that score.
But as he’d slipped between her thighs and claimed her as his, he hadn’t been thinking about convincing her how wonderful it would be for her to take on the role of Drew’s mother. He hadn’t been thinking at all. He’d been feeling. Desire. Possessiveness. Pleasure.
He’d stormed past her defenses. Made her surrender. Claimed her in the most elemental way possible. He’d been careful, used a condom, but he was spellbound by the compelling fantasy of her big and round with another child, this one theirs alone, created in the throes of passion.
Last time he hadn’t been able to share the experience with her the way he now wanted to. To feel his child move inside her. To indulge her every craving. To observe every miraculous change in her body.
He wanted what was best for his son, but couldn’t deny his longing for many more sensational nights with Bella. The dilemma haunted him long into the night.
* * *
Tired and grouchy from lack of sleep, Blake woke the next morning at eight and went to check on Drew, only to discover both he and Bella were nowhere to be found.
Mrs. Farnes had breakfast waiting for him when he entered the kitchen. Beyond the sliding glass door that led out to the side yard, sunshine spilled across the large patio where he’d had an outdoor kitchen installed. Victoria had enjoyed entertaining. They threw two large parties every summer to raise money for some charity or another and her birthday party in July was always an elaborate affair.
His ex-wife liked being the center of attention, and Blake had indulged her need to be adored.
Life with Bella would be quieter. He wouldn’t be expected to entertain people he scarcely knew and barely liked after spending a long week at the office. The relief of it hit him square in the forehead. Until this moment, he hadn’t realized how much he’d craved a weekend alone with his wife when they were still together.
“Have you seen Bella and Drew this morning?”
“She took him for a run.”
He had no idea she jogged. The last time she’d stayed at the beach house, she’d been eight months pregnant and moving no faster than a swift waddle.
How many other things were there about her that he didn’t know?
“Any idea when they’ll be back?”
“She said she intended to go five miles and they’ve been gone forty-five minutes. Do you want breakfast now or did you want to wait and eat with them?”
“I’ll take the paper and a cup of coffee for now and eat later.”
His study was at the back of the house, overlooking the formal gardens. On cool mornings like this, he enjoyed opening the windows to take in the tantalizing scent of roses. As he crossed the foyer, the front door opened and a flushed, animated Bella pushed a jogging stroller inside. She wore thin black shorts and a snug hot pink tank top that showed off her lean form.
Blake’s gaze slid over her in appreciation. She was sporting a sassy high ponytail that drew attention to her heart-shaped face and expressive blue eyes. As soon as she spotted him, her expression brightened even more.
“What a gorgeous morning for a run.”
“You should have let me know you were going out. I would have joined you.”
Running was something Victoria had never been keen on. She found it monotonous. Her exercise program involved a very expensive trainer and the comfort of a home gym. She claimed that when it came to working out, she needed someone to push her.
“I wasn’t sure how late you were up with Drew and didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Mrs. Farnes said you intended to run five miles. Is that what you normally do?”
“I fluctuate between two and seven depending on how much time I have.”
“How long have you been running?”
She began unbuckling Drew from the stroller. The little boy reached for her, indicating he wanted to be picked up. “All my life. The only way I got any time by myself was if I put on my running shoes and hit the road.”
“So if I offer to keep you company tomorrow, you’ll turn me down?”
She shook her head. “I’d love to have you come along.” She lifted Drew high in the air and spun him around. As his laughter filled the spacious foyer, she snuggled him against her chest and dropped a kiss on his head. “Have you had breakfast?”
Blake was so captivated by the mother/son moment that her question didn’t initially register. After a pause, he said, “No. I was waiting until you got back.”
“Then let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
She carried Drew into the kitchen and put him in the high chair Mrs. Farnes had set up at the table in the breakfast nook. While Blake fastened on Drew’s bib, Bella helped the housekeeper carry over plates of eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast and fruit. Blake cut up a variety of things he knew Drew liked and placed them before his son.
“What are your plans for the day?” he asked, keeping one eye on Drew in case he decided the food wasn’t to his liking and began to throw it.
“I thought I’d take Drew to the beach this morning. Maybe take him for a swim later this afternoon if it’s warm enough.”
“There’s a car in the garage for you to use if you want to get out,” Blake said. “There’s the children’s museum and a petting zoo at the Wilkinson Farm. With all the things to do in the area, I’m sure it will be easy to keep Drew entertained.”
Bella gave him a wry smile. “At his age you can sit him in the kitchen with a pot and a wooden spoon to bang on it and he would be perfectly content.”
Blake pictured the myriad of toys that crowded his son’s room and realized what Bella said was completely true. Everything engaged Drew’s imagination, from a brightly colored train that played songs when he pressed its buttons to a stainless-steel pot that made a racket when he banged on it.
“The beach sounds nice. Mind if I join you?”
Her smile was shy as she answered, “That would be nice.”
“We can go out for lunch later.”
“I’m sure Drew would like that.” The phone strapped to her upper arm began to buzz. She unfastened the band and eyed the screen. “It’s my brother. Excuse me for a second.”
She got up from the table and strode out of the kitchen. Blake’s gaze followed her departing form until Drew banged on his tray to get his father’s attention.
“More banana?” Blake sliced the fruit for his son, then turned his attention to Bella’s low voice.
“Another nine hundred?” she quizzed, her tone concerned. “But I already gave you five to buy the truck. What is the nine hundred for?” A long pause followed her question. “Is that the cheapest quote you got?” More silence. “I realize that the truck does you no good if it doesn’t run. Okay. I’ll see what I can do about the money.” Her voice grew louder as she approached. “Elephant shoes,” she said as she sat back down. With a sigh, she disconnected the call.
“That’s a strange way to say goodbye.”
She offered him a wan grin. “It’s a family joke.”
“Feel like telling me about it?” Blake buttered more toast and set it on her plate, then pushed the bowl of preserves her way.
“It started with my parents.” Her mood perked up as she began her tale. “They met through 4-H when they were teenagers, but lived in towns an hour apart so they didn’t go to the same high school. But their schools competed against each other in football and basketball. My dad played both.” Bella slathered preserves on her toast and cast a wry look Blake’s way. “Naturally, my mom was a cheerleader so she was always rooting against my dad.”
Blake had little trouble picturing the atmosphere in the small-town gymnasium where rivalries were fierce between the various communities. “Nothing like a little competition to keep things interesting.”
“And apparently things were very interesting. My parents’ senior year, Dad and some of his teammates crashed my mom’s homecoming dance. I guess things got a little out of hand and my dad ended up getting his nose broken by his best friend when Dad stepped in to protect my mom from being hassled.”
“And the rest is history?”
Bella shook her head. “Not even close. It became a Romeo and Juliet story. The two high schools were always pretty contentious, but after the fight at the homecoming dance, things got even worse.”
“So your parents were star-crossed lovers?”
“Something like that. Anyway, they had to keep their romance a secret, and when they met in public, instead of saying ‘I love you,’ they’d say ‘elephant shoes.’”
Her wistful grin told him the story had great meaning for her, but the punch line eluded him. “Why elephant shoes?”
“Read my lips.” She paused a beat. “Elephant shoes. See?”
Lost in the pleasure of watching her mouth form the words, he neglected to notice what she was trying to tell him. “Sorry, I missed it. Do it again.”
She rolled her eyes, but complied. “Elephant shoes.”
This time he paid attention and the message came through loud and clear. “It looks like you’re saying ‘I love you,’” he said with a short laugh. “Very clever.”
“My mother came up with it.”
Drew banged his palms on the high-chair tray and made happy noises, adding to the cheery vibe surrounding the small table.
“I think he likes the story, as well,” Blake said with a chuckle. He caught a glimpse of the clock. They’d lingered over breakfast for more than an hour. Once again Bella’s stories made time vanish. How could she be so against having a family of her own when hers was such an integral part of her life?
Blake was pouring a third cup of coffee as Mrs. Farnes approached the table and began to clear the dishes.
Bella got to her feet. “Let me help.”
“No, dear. You’ve got enough to keep you busy.” She nodded to Drew, who was busy smashing scrambled eggs and banana into his hair.
“Oh, Drew.” Bella ran for a washcloth. By the time she returned, Mrs. Farnes had swept the last bits of food from the tray. “Thanks for your help,” she told the housekeeper. “It really does take a village.” Bella caught one of Drew’s chubby hands and began applying the wet cloth. “I can’t imagine how my mother did it. Before I was old enough to help, she had to handle three children under the age of six all on her own.”
“Sounds like you grew up fast,” Blake said, amused at the faces his son made while Bella cleaned food from his hair.
While Mrs. Farnes kept an eye on him, Bella and Blake ran upstairs for some warmer clothes. Although the day was heating up, the breeze on the beach would be cool, and she didn’t want Drew catching cold on her watch. Blake followed Bella and Drew outside, a blanket and some plastic beach toys in his arms.
Because his house sat on five acres of land, the stretch of beach in front of his property didn’t see a lot of traffic. Bella spread out the blanket on the soft white sand and sat Drew in the middle of it. Blake lay on his side, his position perfect to watch both Bella and Drew. The infant showed little interest in the beauty surrounding them, preferring to focus his attention on the sand. This meant they had to watch him like a hawk, because he was determined to fill his mouth with handfuls of sand.
“Last night,” Blake began.
Bella thrust her hand up, forestalling him. “I did some thinking.”
“As did I.”
“Me first,” she insisted, determined to lay her cards on the table. “I imagine the idea of trusting another woman with your heart is unnerving.”
His eyebrows twitched upward at her opening salvo. “It’s positively terrifying,” he retorted dryly.
She plowed on, ignoring his sarcasm. “You have to know that every woman in your social circle is going to set her sights on you.”
“I am quite a catch.” He was playing with her, letting her lead the conversation instead of demanding she get to the point.
“Yes, you are.” Bella paused, her gaze on the horizon, her thoughts elsewhere.
“Bella?” he prompted. “Were you done making your point?”
His question jolted her back on track. “Not quite.” She pulled the shovel out of Drew’s mouth and demonstrated how it could be used to dig in the sand. “You are also the most guarded person I’ve ever met. You have to be doubly so after your divorce.”
Blake could tell she was winding up to deliver a knockout punch and awaited the results with keen interest. What notions had she bandied about in that adorable brain of hers these last few hours? He couldn’t decide if this was a preamble to goodbye or a lecture on the evils of sexually harassing someone in his employ.
“Let me see if I’m clear on what you’re saying. Women want me, but I’ve been burned.”
“Exactly.” Her rain-washed blue eyes regarded him solemnly. “That’s why you picked me.”
Now they were getting somewhere. At her heart, Bella was a practical woman. She would need to reconcile how, after they’d been nothing but friends for the months she was carrying Drew, he could suddenly desire her. Blake cursed himself for moving too fast. She would be skeptical of any explanation he offered. And how could he get her to accept why his desire for her had struck him so powerfully when he didn’t fully understand it himself?
“I’m not following,” he said, playing for time. “Why do you think I picked you?”
“Because I’m safe.”
