Montana Cowboy's Baby

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Their gazes caught and held. The air seemed awash with liquid sunshine. A jolt of something both sweet and sad rushed through her. How had she allowed this to happen? To be drawn to a man and child when she knew they could never be hers. Even if Conner was free, Kate had plans that made it impossible to picture herself in their lives. And yet she did. In full, vibrant color, every detail bright with joy.

She ripped her attention from Conner. Remembered he’d asked a question. “My father needs my help.” And when he didn’t, she would head back east for medical school. That was her plan. Her purpose. Her calling.

Ellie ate well for Conner. Kate didn’t need to hover nearby and yet she did. Conner’s attention was on the baby, allowing Kate to study the pair. Conner’s face revealed love for Ellie. She shivered, thinking of what the future might hold for this pair. Please, God, protect them from pain and sorrow.

He put the baby in her basket to sleep, then he and Kate joined the others in the kitchen. Kate remained in the kitchen after the meal and helped Annie with the dishes and swept the floor for her, finding, as always, a comfort in doing routine things.

“I’m going outside for a bit,” Annie said. “Do you want to come with me?”

“I’d like that.” It would give her time to get her thoughts back to normal. “Let me tell Conner.” She hurried to the sitting room. Ellie slept in Conner’s arms. He looked up at Kate’s approach and smiled.

“Look at her sleeping so peacefully.”

She faltered, took a deep breath. That look of tenderness in his eyes was meant for Ellie, but for a heartbeat, she’d thought it included her. She folded her hands at her waist. “I’m going outside with Annie for a few minutes.” But she didn’t immediately return to the kitchen, held in the spot by a longing to prolong this moment, make this feeling last, allow herself just a moment or two of filling her heart with—

She jerked away and forced herself to keep her pace reasonable as she left the room, even though everything in her wanted to run.

But did she want to race from the house or back to the pair in the sitting room?

She continued to the kitchen, where Annie waited, and they stepped out into the bright sunshine, which immediately warmed her skin. She sucked in the summer-laden air and looked about.

The mountains rose to the west, greens of every hue filling the woods and covering the hills. Here and there, bright patches of wildflowers dotted the lush landscape. The air carried a hundred different scents...smells of grass, horses, wildflowers and pine from the mountains.

“It’s a beautiful country,” she said, knowing she would miss it when she went east to study. City activity could never outshine the offerings of nature.

“Wild and beautiful,” Annie said as they walked along the path to the garden, then turned toward the barn.

They wandered past the buildings along the trail to a grassy slope. Annie pointed out many things, including the horses in the pen. “Conner is breaking them. He’ll sell them.”

“Does he have special plans?”

“You mean like having a place of his own?” Annie chuckled. “I don’t think so. He’s the only one of my brothers still living at home and he says someone has to stay and help take care of us. He means Grandfather.” She paused. “I think.”

The farther they got from the house, the more Kate’s insides tightened. What if Ellie needed something? She stared at the distant mountains and forced herself to think rationally. Ellie’s needs were not what bothered her, she admitted. It was knowing she would soon no longer be needed. Life for the Marshalls would go on with the addition of Ellie until her future was resolved.

Kate would go back to Bella Creek. She’d help her father, and once she could be assured he was well enough to be on his own, she would leave. St. Louis and medical school awaited her. Nevertheless, she was not comfortable being away from Ellie too long. “I should get back.”

Annie sighed. “I know. Me, too.” They returned to the house at a quicker rate than they had left.

Kate hurried through the kitchen to the sitting room, where Conner held Ellie.

“How is she?” Kate asked.

The baby’s eyes shifted to Kate and she brightened.

“See that? She recognizes you.” Conner’s smile was warm. She was drowning in his approval, floating in the sky of his eyes, forgetting the boundaries she had in her role as her father’s assistant.

Annie followed and stood watching her brother and the baby. “You look pretty comfortable caring for her.”

“I’ve had a good teacher.” His smile was like warm honey to Kate’s insides.

She had taught them what they needed to know. The family would now be responsible for making arrangements for Ellie’s care, she reminded herself. They did not need her help in doing so.

Accepting the situation for what it was, she pulled herself together and turned to the brother and sister. “Ellie no longer needs my care.” Please ask me to stay. But what about Father? What about her decision to follow her dream to become a doctor? To not get overly involved with a family again? And especially one with a baby girl?

Kate ducked her head, not wanting Annie or Conner to see her feelings as they stung her eyes.

* * *

Conner could hardly swallow past the tightness in his throat. He didn’t want to make other arrangements for Ellie’s care.

“I’ll help all I can,” Annie said, “but my days are already full.”

He nodded. Would Kate see how much she was needed here? Wanted here? Because she offered something that no one else could and he didn’t mean her expertise. He enjoyed her company, found her presence reassuring, and even with his inexperienced eyes, he could see that Ellie responded to Kate like she didn’t to anyone else.

But it would be wrong to ask Kate to stay. She’d made it clear she planned to devote her life to medicine. He’d hoped she’d show some kind of relief or give him a bright smile when she learned he wasn’t Ellie’s father. But her response had been cold. Enough to inform him she wasn’t interested in accepting any attention from him.

Not that he felt he could offer such. Ellie’s future held so many unknowns. Would Thelma return alone and seeking his help or with a husband in tow? A husband would leave Conner with no right to decide what was best for Ellie.

He was reluctant to leave Ellie in someone else’s care, but he couldn’t continue to hang around the house. He had to pull his share of the workload on the ranch plus work on breaking his horses. Nor could Kate stay much longer. She had her own plans.

God in heaven, send us Your answer. Send us help. Trust calmed his heart. It was strengthened as he remembered it was an oft-repeated prayer of his mother’s.

He glanced past Kate. Annie had slipped away and they were alone, leaving him free to speak his heart. “Kate, you are more than a doctor’s assistant. You do realize that, don’t you?”

She shook her head, her eyes cooling.

“You admit you love this baby. Just as I do.”

She started to turn away, but he caught her by the shoulder and her gaze returned to him.

His heart stalled at the hungry, desperate look in her eyes.

She stood upright and backed away. “I’ll see if Annie needs any help.” She walked through the door, crossed the dining room and went to the kitchen.

She’d explained her reasons for choosing to be a doctor and denying herself a family. On one hand, they seemed noble and good. On the other...well, it sent regret pulsing through every part of his body. It was too great a sacrifice.

Someone came to the door. He recognized Isabelle’s voice. Of course. The answer to his prayer. Why hadn’t he thought of her? She could help with the baby.

The three young women visited in the kitchen. He couldn’t hear what was said but knew Annie and Kate would be bringing Isabelle up to date on recent events. Isabelle had popped over for a quick visit last night but didn’t linger, anxious to be back in her own home.

He smiled at Ellie and whispered, “We’ll ask Isabelle to help with your care.” Even as he rejoiced in the answer to his prayer, his insides twisted. Isabelle would take the baby to her house. Conner wouldn’t be able to see her as often as he liked.

The three ladies entered the room.

Isabelle crossed to Conner’s side and squeezed one of his hands. “They said Jesse has called. I hope he can find Thelma quickly.”

His jaw muscles twitched. “Ellie is going to stay here.” He knew he didn’t have the right to make such a claim, but his heart had spoken. He would do all he could to keep the baby.

Isabelle looked from Kate to Conner and back again. “You’re going to stay here as well?” she asked Kate.

“For a few more hours only.”

“Then what happens to Ellie?”

This was Conner’s opening. “I hoped you would agree to help.”

“Me?” She drew back. “But I know nothing about babies. Not even how to feed them.”

“Kate would show you, wouldn’t you?”

Kate nodded, though she didn’t appear overjoyed about it. Dare he believe it meant she was reconsidering her decision? Conner hoped she would look at him. If she did, could he communicate his wish that she could be a more permanent part of Ellie’s care?

Now hold on one minute, he warned himself. It was premature to be making future plans for the baby. Nothing could be decided about her until Jesse found Thelma. Besides, he knew Kate’s plans and they didn’t include a baby.

Isabelle had turned to Kate. “Do you really think I could learn to look after her?”

Kate chuckled. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times or more. You can do just about anything you set your mind to.”

Isabelle laughed softly. “You’ve certainly said it a number of times. But that doesn’t mean you’re always right.”

Kate smiled serenely. “But I am this time.”

Isabelle looked at Ellie, who watched Conner as if trying to understand how this conversation would affect her.

“She is very sweet. Yes, I’ll check with Dawson, and if he has no objections, I will help with the baby.” She grinned as if pleased with her decision.

“Good.” Conner was pleased, too.

“There you go. Things have a way of working out, don’t they?” Kate’s words, no doubt meant to sound encouraging, carried a note of regret. At least that was what Conner allowed himself to believe.