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“I think I hear someone riding in.” She rushed to the window. “Yes, it’s Dawson and he’s got Isabelle and Mattie with him.” Unable to stop her rush of words, she recited every detail of the man’s approach. “I hear him talking to Grandfather.” And then the outer door opened and booted feet crossed the floor.
“Howdy,” Dawson said. He handed a satchel to Kate. “Your father put a note in there for you.”
“Thanks.” She took the bag and reached in for the paper her father had written on.
“Jesse is on his way?” Conner asked.
“’Fraid not. There was a note on the door saying he had gone to Great Falls with a prisoner. He’ll be back in the morning. Now I’m going home to enjoy some time with my wife and child.” He strode from the room.
Kate unfolded the message and read, Dear Kate, you must indeed stay and tend that baby. I am coping admirably though I haven’t been able to find the carbolic acid. Stay as long as you are needed. As you ask, I will send for you if I think it necessary. Blessings, your father.
She folded the page carefully and returned it to the satchel. She’d put the carbolic acid on the shelf where it belonged. Was Father having a forgetful spell? They had grown infrequent in the past few weeks, but having her away, not pointing toward the things he needed, not reminding him what he meant to do would surely be a test of his recovery. She shivered. If he should fail while she wasn’t there to direct him, it could prove disastrous. Father God, please keep his mind clear. Don’t let him make a mistake.
She lifted her head to discover Conner watching her.
“Is everything all right with your father?”
“What do you mean? What could be wrong?” She’d done her best to cover her father’s momentary lapses as he mended.
Conner’s eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t suggesting there was. But I saw the little worry frown in your forehead and wondered what caused it.”
“My forehead?” She rubbed the spot that she knew furrowed when she worried overly much. “You’re imagining things.”
He laughed. “Not that line across your forehead and don’t think you can rub it away.”
She covered her forehead with her hand and tried to look as if it didn’t matter a bit. But heat stole up her neck and she knew her blush would reveal how much his words flustered her. Wanting to divert him, she went to the baby, forgetting how close it would bring her to Conner. Thankfully he was too interested in Ellie to notice her warm cheeks and she slowly backed away.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly with repeatedly feeding Ellie. Knowing Conner and his family must learn to care for the baby on their own, Kate purposely spent as much time in the kitchen as she could. Annie was a good housekeeper, so there wasn’t a lot to do. Kate washed up the dishes that had accumulated throughout the day, scrubbed the few items of clothing that had accompanied Ellie and hung them to dry. For a moment, she considered making a batch of cookies. But this wasn’t her house. She didn’t have the right.
However, they had to eat and she prepared another meal from the food Annie had left. Conner held the baby in one arm, just like he’d been born to be a father, as he joined the others at the table.
Kate sat on the chair that Bud indicated, across from Conner. Grandfather and Bud sat across from each other. It was Grandfather who offered the grace.
“We’re grateful for the food, Lord, but right now we’re concerned with little Ellie and we beseech You to make her strong. Amen.”
Grandfather concentrated on dishing up food for a moment or two, then turned to Kate. “Conner says you are staying overnight. I have to say I’m glad you’re here. Don’t mind telling you I was worried about that little one in there last night.”
“Can’t see the boy managing on his own,” Bud added. “He thinks because he fed an orphaned calf, he knows about babies.”
Kate laughed at Bud’s woeful tone and wondered how Conner felt about being referred to as “the boy.”
“You, my dear, are an answer to prayer.” Grandfather’s gratitude was a balm to Kate’s soul. “Though we acknowledge that the results are in God’s hands. We humans do what we can. No one should ask any more than that from us. Or us of ourselves.”
She promised herself to keep in mind that gentle reminder to do her job and leave the results in God’s control.
The conversation shifted to talk about the cows Bud and the others had checked on. He brought a good report.
“Sure wish I could go see for myself,” Grandfather said. Then he brightened. “But then I wouldn’t have been here when the baby was dropped off on the doorstep.” He chuckled. “Sure glad I was here to see the look on Conner’s face.” He tipped his head back and roared with laughter.
Conner shook his head and gave a half smile. “It was the last thing I expected.” His gaze came to Kate. His eyes warmed as if to remind her how they had shared that moment of surprise and concern.
For the briefest of moments, she allowed herself to think he enjoyed having her at his side during those first awkward, tension-filled hours. Then she reminded herself she was simply a medical person, appreciated for her ability to help Ellie and teach Conner how to care for his little daughter.
No doubt the sheriff would soon locate Thelma and there would be a wedding for Ellie’s parents.
That was as it should be and she promised herself she would rejoice that Ellie would have a permanent home with a father and mother.
While Kate continued with her own plans...ones that left no room for babies and family. Her decision had been made, based on the facts she understood and accepted.
The men pushed back from the table and Conner took the bottle Kate prepared for Ellie. He remained in the kitchen while she cleaned up. She told herself his only reason for staying had nothing to do with keeping her company and was to have her nearby to coach him, but in truth, he needed no guidance from her. And despite all her arguments against the idea, she enjoyed him being nearby as she worked.
Later, the others went to their rooms, leaving Kate and Conner in the sitting room, caring for the baby.
“You might as well relax in Grandfather’s chair. He often sleeps in it, so I can only assume it’s suitable for a nap,” Conner said.
She sank into the deep armchair, surprised at how weary she was. “It’s very comfortable.”
“Feel free to close your eyes and rest.”
“Just for a few minutes, then I’ll take her and feed her while you sleep for a bit.”
She had no intention of sleeping. Her role there was to provide medical care.
She leaned back, watching Conner from beneath her half-lowered eyelids. He stroked the baby’s face and hummed a lullaby. Little Ellie watched him, slowly drinking from the bottle of milk. Such adoration in Conner’s face. He would be an excellent father.
She must have dozed for she jerked awake, suddenly alert with the sense of someone watching her, and she met Conner’s steady gaze. It must be sleep clouding her mind to think his look was warm. Heat crawled up her neck and pooled in her cheeks. Why was she so aware of this man especially given the circumstances? A father of a baby. And somewhere, a woman who would claim his name. She broke from the intensity of his look and turned toward the baby sleeping contentedly in his arms.
Why was it that, after years of schooling herself to be professional and detached, she continually failed to do so in this situation? What was wrong with her?
* * *
Conner had studied Kate as she slept through the lengthening night hours. She was a beautiful woman with a serenity about her that intensified her beauty.
Familiar sounds of the house settled for the night and the little sleeping noises Ellie made were all that broke the silence. The quiet gave him time to review the events of the day. Like how Pa had reacted when he saw Ellie.
Conner, hoping to delay the questions in his pa’s face, had cradled Ellie in one arm and faced his father and brothers. “Pa, Dawson, Logan, meet Ellie.”
“Howdy,” Pa said and his brothers had each touched the baby’s hands, tenderness in their eyes and curiosity on their faces.
“Why are you holding her like you own her?” Pa asked.
“Yeah, Conner, you can’t bring babies home and keep them,” Logan said. “They aren’t like puppies.”
“Where’d you find her?” Dawson asked.
Conner had plucked Thelma’s note from his back pocket and handed it to Pa. Logan and Dawson read it over Pa’s shoulder. Then three pairs of shocked, disbelieving eyes came to him.
“She’s yours?” Pa’s voice rang sharp enough to make Conner cringe inside. He’d never let anyone see him cringe on the outside.
“No.” It took a minute to convince them Ellie was not his daughter.
“Then why?”
Conner repeated his worry that the baby was in danger. “It’s best if no one knows the truth until we can find Thelma and know why she did this.”
“In the meantime, who is going to look after her?” Pa asked. “Is Annie back?”
Grandfather grunted. “He knows nothing about babies. Thinks they’re like calves. If not for Kate...” He shook his head.
Conner’s confidence in caring for Ellie grew with each feeding, thanks to Kate. Like Grandfather said...if not for Kate. A rod of tension had eased when she agreed to stay the night.
He didn’t know how long he’d been watching her when her eyes opened and their gazes connected. She blinked away her sleep and she sat up, instantly awake. Her gaze darted away from him. Likely she wondered why he watched her so intently.
“You deserve to marry and have a family of your own.” He blamed the fact that they were alone, the room lit only by a lamp, for his rash words.
She jerked her wide-eyed gaze back to him. “That will never be. I am going to become a doctor.” She bolted to her feet.
He caught her hand before she could escape. “You could also be a wife and mother.”
She shook her head. “I know I couldn’t do justice to both roles. Doctors can’t count on being there for family events. I should know.”
The truth hit him like a sledgehammer. “Did you feel you were less important to your parents than their work?”
She tugged at her hand, but he wouldn’t let her get free. She shook her head and turned away.
He knew as surely as he breathed that her life had been full of loneliness and uncertainty. “Oh, Kate.” He felt her pain and confusion as if it were his own and his voice cracked with emotion.
He could not stand to see her so distressed and pulled her close, pressed her face to his shoulder, Kate in one arm, Ellie in the other. His throat tightened. His chest clamped tight so that it hurt to breathe. Why must people be wounded and suffer such pain? Little Ellie so weak because of neglect or illness. Kate feeling neglected by her parents if even for a noble cause.
She shuddered and tried to sit up, but he pressed her back, not ready to let her leave his arms. “I want to hear all about it.”
“They were only doing their job and I understood that. Their dedication was why Grammie sent me to them. ‘You’ve the gift of caring,’ she said to me. ‘Promise me you won’t waste it.’ And I won’t.”
She pulled away and Conner, feeling the depth of her resolve, let her go even though he longed to persuade her that she could make other choices. A promise given to her grandmother when she was a young child should not control her into adulthood. Surely her grandmother would want her to choose what suited Kate best.
“We all must do what we must do.” Her tone was flat as if the final word had been spoken on the subject. “Just as you must marry Thelma.”
“Thelma?” He’d forgotten about her. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he didn’t love her. Perhaps he never had, though it had devastated him for her to walk away without a backward look. It no longer hurt.
He tried not to think of the many reasons she would have sent the baby to him and said it was his—none of them reassuring. A cruel husband and father, choosing her profession over her own baby, or worst—she had died and just before her death arranged for the baby to be taken to Conner. If she was alive and unmarried, would he marry her to give the baby a home? He studied wee Ellie. She certainly deserved a loving, supportive family.
But he could not tell Kate the truth about her or the baby until he found Thelma and straightened things out.
“Time to feed her again.” With a great deal of dignity in every step and in the way she held her head, Kate went to the kitchen.
Conner leaned back. He must tell her the truth about Ellie...that he wasn’t the father. How would she react? Would she welcome the news? He closed his eyes and forced himself to think sensibly. Why would it matter to her? She’d been clear that she had no interest in anything but pursuing her plans to become a doctor.
From Grandfather’s room came a rumbling snore. Bedsprings creaked upstairs as someone rolled over. Outside a horse whinnied softly. From a nearby hill came the yipping of several coyotes. The moon shone through the window, giving a silvery glow to the room. So calm and peaceful. Unfortunately the feeling did not reach his heart. His thoughts tangled with questions about Thelma and why she had sent Ellie to him and a yearning from deep within.
He sat up and met Ellie’s gaze. This tiny little girl was the reminder he needed. He was not going to allow himself to care for a woman who didn’t put him and family life ahead of dreams of what some might see as bigger, better things...like being a singer. Or a doctor. How had Kate put it? She saw it as being nobler.
He had a baby who needed him. And then there was Thelma. Whatever Thelma’s situation, she had done the right thing and sent Ellie to him, no doubt knowing Conner and the entire Marshall family would see that this little one was well taken care of. His life was quite complicated enough at the moment.
Kate returned and gingerly took Ellie from him. Her movements were stiff and unnatural and he couldn’t deny it hurt a little to know she tried not to touch him.
She returned to the armchair and spoke softly to the baby.
Conner caught only a few words...enough to know that Kate informed the baby she was going to eat well and get strong and healthy.
Ellie seemed fascinated with all the things Kate saw for her in the future and drank steadily. Finally, she turned away and smacked her lips.
Kate held the feeding bottle toward the lamplight and gasped. “It’s half gone.” She sprang to her feet. “Conner, Conner. She took half a bottle of milk.”
“She did?” Conner grabbed Kate by her upper arms. “Really and truly?”
“Really and truly.” Kate laughed. “She’s taken a turn for the better.”
“That’s wonderful.” Conner’s voice caught. The good news filled him with an overwhelming sense that the world was a good place. “God has answered our prayers.” He pulled Kate close, the baby between them.
Kate tipped her head back to smile at him. Her smile dipped into his heart. For the moment, all that mattered was the joy over Ellie’s improvement and gratitude toward this woman who had been instrumental in that improvement.
Her gaze held his, searching for what he could not say. But he longed to be the one to give her what she sought.
He trailed the back of his hand along Kate’s cheek. His fingers lingered at the corner of her mouth and his gaze dipped and then he caught her lips in a gentle-as-dawn kiss. If not for the baby between them, he would have held her close.
She pushed away. “How can you kiss me when you belong to Thelma?”
“Kate, it’s not what you think.” He pulled the baby closer as if it would anchor his thoughts.
It failed to do so. He wanted to explain about Thelma.
“I’m not interested in dillydallying with a man. I will be pursuing my studies in medical school as soon as it can be arranged.”
He wasn’t interested in dillydallying either. Nor was he interested in a relationship of any sort with a woman whose plans left no room for him.
But if she knew the truth about the baby and Thelma, would she be willing to consider a different option than the one she seemed committed to? He’d heard loneliness in her voice when she talked about the difference between the family next door and her own. Kate, he knew, wanted and needed family. But she fought it. He wanted her to see that even if there remained no room for him in her heart. But before he could say anything, Grandfather shuffled from his bedroom. “How is the patient this morning?”
Conner realized with a start that the night had flown by. Holding the baby, he told the older man of the improvement.
Grandfather patted her cheek.
Suddenly Conner held the baby away from him. “I believe our little girl’s kidneys are working just fine.”
Kate burst out laughing.
He narrowed his eyes. “You think it’s funny?”
“The look on your face is priceless.” She seemed to try to muffle her amusement as she found a dry diaper in the basket, then took the baby from his arms.
