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Kate held the baby, stroking her pale cheek and murmuring to her. She glanced up at Conner’s noisy entrance and smiled. Something in his heart tipped a little to the side and remained so for several seconds. Then things righted and he entered the room.
“How is she?”
“Taking a few drops at a time.”
“That’s all?” He settled by her side and pressed his hands to the baby. “I wish we could do more.”
“I’m doing all I know to do.”
“I couldn’t manage without you.” Her face was inches from his. Conner watched a play of emotions in Kate’s eyes and longed to be able to read them. Then her gaze dropped to Ellie. She caught the little hand and rubbed it. She looked at him again, her eyes full of determination.
“I will do everything in my power to see this little one grow strong.”
He had made the same vow and felt as if he and Kate stepped across some invisible threshold, united in heart and purpose.
He was not alone in fighting for this baby and found immense comfort in the thought. He couldn’t think of the little one not getting better. Even though she wasn’t his, his heart had laid claim to her.
Kate hummed as she tried to feed the baby, but Ellie pressed her lips together and turned away.
“Give her to me,” Conner said. His voice was rough, but he couldn’t help it. Ellie needed to drink. When Kate shifted the baby into his arms, he cradled the little bundle to his chest.
“It’s like she has almost given up trying.” Her eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You haven’t told me anything I can’t see on my own. Have you seen this before?” He meant, did people give up the desire to live?
“Only in discouraged and ill adults.” Her voice broke and she turned away. With a choked sound, she hurried to the window to stare out. Her shoulders heaved.
Was she crying? Fighting her fears? He couldn’t say, but he wanted to ease her obvious strain. “Come here.” He kept his voice soft even though his insides felt as if they’d been sliced with a thousand dull blades.
She didn’t move. “Give me a moment.” She sucked in air.
He waited.
Slowly she turned. Her face a careful mask as if she had pushed all her feelings behind a wall. She crossed to the couch.
“Sit down.” He indicated the chair at his side and she sat. “Give me your hand.”
She hesitated, then put her hand in his.
He brought it to the baby and placed it over the tiny chest and covered her hand with his. “Feel that?”
“It’s her heart beating.”
“Yes. You said the outcome is in God’s hands.”
She nodded.
“Then we will pray for His healing.” He bowed his head and prayed. “God, You love Ellie. You have a plan and a purpose for her life. She’s so young. So needy. We’re doing all we can to help her. But only You can heal her. We humbly ask that You would see fit to touch her little body and make her strong.” He paused, wanting so much more, answers to questions about Thelma, a caring home, loving parents for the baby, but he could say none of those aloud. He simply had to trust God for all of it. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Kate echoed.
Conner expected she would pull away, but she stayed as they were, their heads almost touching, their hands on Ellie’s chest feeling her heart beat and the rise and fall of her breathing. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me that it’s in God’s hands, not mine.”
The afternoon became a continual round of waking, feeding and hovering over the baby. But each time the baby took a little more.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” He was ready to rejoice.
“Yes, it’s very good. Maybe she’ll take some milk now.” She hurried to the kitchen to prepare it.
Conner leaned back, shifting the baby so they were face-to-face. Ellie’s eyes met his. “Who are you, little one? Why are you here? Where’s your mother? I need to find her, don’t I? Did she forget to take care of you? Is that why you’re so weak? Or have you been sick?” So many questions. “And you aren’t giving me any of the answers, are you?”
The sound of approaching footsteps warned him of Kate’s return and he stopped questioning the baby and chuckled at the silliness of doing so.
Ellie’s eyes widened at his laugh.
Kate pressed to his side so she could feed the baby. She eased the rubber nipple into the tiny mouth. Ellie gagged but then closed her mouth about the contraption and sucked. Her eyes widened as she tasted the milk. She drank eagerly for a moment or two.
Kate leaned over them both and Conner was so full of gratitude over the improvement that he wrapped his arm about her shoulders and drew her against his chest, next to the baby. His heart felt ready to burst.
She stiffened and pulled away, sat upright in the chair by the couch, folded her hands in her lap and studied him with a solemn expression.
“Forgive me. I was rejoicing over her improvement.”
Kate nodded. “Of course.”
He reached for her hands and clasped them to his chest. “We’re doing all we can, aren’t we?”
She curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “I believe so.”
He understood then that the baby was still not out of the woods.
Chapter Three (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34)
She should not have revealed her worry about the baby. A doctor or nurse did not frighten family members with either words or expressions, but she could not put a serene mask over her features. All she could do was cling to the fact Ellie was improving.
Conner lifted one hand and cupped her shoulder. “Kate, you’re doing a good job if Ellie’s present condition means anything.”
Ellie opened her eyes and found Kate’s face.
“See, even the baby knows it. She likes you. She knows you’re helping her.”
Kate smiled at the baby and stroked a finger along the tiny cheek. “She is certainly a sweetie. So beautiful.” A fierce protectiveness crowded all else from her mind. “Ellie, you are going to eat and fight and get strong. You hear me?”
The baby considered her solemnly, then smiled. The smile disappeared so quickly Kate wondered if she’d imagined it. “Did you see that? She smiled.”
Conner chuckled. “I told you, she likes you.”
“We’re going to do this.” She looked deep into Conner’s eyes. “We are going to save this baby, so help me God.” She meant it as a prayer and a vow, and when Conner nodded, she felt as if they had joined hands in mutual agreement.
There welled up within her a sense of something sweet and powerful. She tried to tell herself it was the same sensation she got whenever she helped her father, saw a baby or a child or an adult improving and knowing she had a hand in it. Only, the feeling was unlike any she’d ever before experienced and she could not dismiss it so easily nor fit it into a tidy slot in her brain.
She knew of one sure way to bring her thoughts into order and she concentrated on feeding Ellie. When she was satisfied the baby had taken all she would, she hurried to the kitchen...in need of an escape from the intensity prevailing in her thoughts while sitting so close to Conner, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, hearing his deep voice murmur to the baby. And knowing all the while that Thelma belonged where Kate now sat.
She found food in the pantry that Annie had prepared earlier and served them a simple dinner. She wished she had time to do more. Cooking and baking were pleasures for her. And wonderful diversions. Grandfather joined them to eat.
They all retired to the sitting room again. She needed to get back to her father. As she had done all morning, she prayed he would be handling things well on his own.
She was about to say she must leave when the sound of approaching horses drew their attention to the window. She was holding Ellie, who dozed after another decent feed. Conner hurried to look out. “Pa, Logan and Dawson are back.” His father and two brothers. Conner scrubbed his hand back and forth over his head, as if anxious over their reaction to discovering a baby in the house.
Grandfather made a disapproving sound. “You hoping to frighten them with a scarecrow look by doing that?”
He smoothed his hair into some semblance of order and jammed his hands into his front pockets.
Grandfather continued, “You’ll have to tell them the truth.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
Kate could almost feel sorry for him, but having fathered a child, he must face up to his responsibilities. Still, she didn’t envy him having to confront his brothers and father.
They all turned to listen to the outer door open and shut, booted feet stomp off the trail dust and then a parade of thuds across the floor toward the sitting room.
Conner’s pa entered, followed by his two sons.
She studied them, wondering how they would react to Conner’s predicament. Bud, the father, was tall, blond and blue-eyed as were all the Marshalls. A man used to working hard and expecting those around him to work equally hard. Dawson, the eldest brother, was now married to Kate’s best friend, Isabelle. Logan, the youngest, was married to Sadie, the schoolteacher.
Bud’s gaze rested on the baby in Kate’s arms. “What do we have here?”
Kate rose, eased the baby into Conner’s hold. “I’ll let you explain.” She walked from the room and into the kitchen, where she couldn’t overhear a conversation she expected would be difficult.
Kate heard no angry sounds as she waited in the kitchen. What sort of reaction would Conner be facing? How would he be feeling? Shame? Regret? She twisted her hands together, wishing she could offer him the same comfort and encouragement he had offered her.
Which was rather silly. All she could offer him was help with Ellie and that only for a few more hours at most.
Logan and Dawson hurried through the kitchen saying they were going to hitch up a wagon. She expected they were going to see their wives. In the men’s absence, Dawson’s six-year-old daughter, Mattie, and his wife, Isabelle, had gone to town to visit Sadie and the children she and Logan had adopted.
She stared at the doorway to the dining room. She couldn’t see the sitting room door beyond. What had taken place in her absence?
Bud strode through the room, muttering under his breath. Grandfather shuffled out to sit on the veranda and she waited. Should she return?
“Kate?” Conner’s voice came to her and she needed no more invitation to hurry back. Perhaps he would tell her what had transpired. She drew to a halt, facing Conner.
“That went as well as could be expected.” Conner sat with Ellie cradled close to his chest, wariness in his eyes. “Dawson is going to ask Sheriff Jesse to come out and see me. I’ll ask him to find Thelma. Dawson said he could easily give Jesse all the needed information, but I’d like to see him myself.” He shrugged. “Maybe I can explain a few things and hope he’ll understand.”
She kept her attention on the baby. How did he hope to explain away a baby daughter? There was simply no way. Thelma must be found. He must marry her. Kate would no longer be needed. But who was she fooling? Once Conner’s sisters-in-law returned, Kate would have no reason to stay. Yes, the baby was weak still, her condition fragile, but she was eating. Anyone could take care of her now.
“I can’t imagine going through another night like last night,” he said.
“You will manage just fine. Just make sure she eats often.”
His mouth drew back. His eyes widened. He wore the expression of a fearful man.
She almost laughed. “She’s getting stronger with every feeding.”
He shook his head. “What if something happens? What if she takes a turn for the worse? Or—” His mouth worked before he finished. “What if she chokes again? Can’t you at least stay overnight?”
She assessed her choices. Ellie likely needed her more than Father did. And she truly wanted to tend the baby a little longer...to hold her, feel her chest rise and fall with each breath, listen to her suck the bottle and catch a fleeting smile or two. “I’ll stay, but I must get word to my father and ask him to send a few things for me.”
“Here, hold Ellie. I’ll go let Logan and Dawson know they need to stop by before they leave. There’s paper and pencil in the desk that you can use to write a note to your father.” He pointed to the rolltop desk in the corner. “Help yourself.”
“Thanks.” But he was gone before she finished. She smiled at Ellie. “I’m glad I get to enjoy you for a few more hours.” She cradled the baby in one arm as she quickly wrote a note explaining the situation and asking Father to send out a few items of clothing. She finished with, Are you doing okay? If you need me, I will come back.
She folded the paper just as Dawson came to the door and handed him the note. “This is for my father. He’ll want to send a bag back with you.”
“I’ll take care of it. Kate, I’m glad you’re staying.” His footsteps rang across the kitchen floor, and seconds later, the rattle of a wagon signaled his departure to town.
Kate stared toward the sound. She’d been away all morning and into the afternoon. Was Father managing okay or was he suffering memory lapses? What if he had one while tending a patient? If something happened, it would be her fault for leaving him.
She turned back to Ellie. But if she left the baby, how would Conner manage on his own?
How would she live with herself if things went wrong?
Conner returned and took the baby while Kate prepared a bottle.
He chuckled as he fed Ellie. “Logan was in a mighty big hurry to get to town.”
“I suppose he misses his family.”
“It was good of Sadie to give up teaching to be a mother.” He referred to the fact that Logan and Sadie had adopted three orphans. “Is there anything nobler than providing a home for a family?”
“Isn’t it nobler to serve a bigger cause, help more than those in a family circle?” She’d been taught so since the Bakers had adopted her at age ten. Even Grammie, before her death, had asked Katie, as she was then called, to use her gift wisely. Kate knew she referred to her ability to help those ill and suffering. She’d been doing so for Grammie for over a year as she’d grown weaker. “I thought it was too bad she gave up teaching.” She laughed a little in an attempt to hide her defensiveness.
Ellie blinked and her eyes focused.
“Do it again,” Conner said. “She likes it.”
“Do what?”
“Laugh. It got her attention.”
“I can’t laugh unless I’m amused.” And at the moment she wasn’t feeling very amused at Conner’s opinion about Sadie giving up teaching. It seemed to her she could do both. After all, Sadie was an exceptionally good teacher and there were far too few of them out in western Montana.
Conner brought his gaze to her and studied her a moment. “How many men are willing to live with sharing a wife with the whole world?”
“Probably none, which is why I don’t intend to combine doctoring with marriage or raising a family.” She’d made a promise to Grammie, but besides that, she liked taking care of people. It went a long way toward filling her heart.
