The History of the Devil, As Well Ancient as Modern: In Two Parts

Some little Dog-kennel Devil may indeed take up his Quarters in or near him, and so run into and out of him as his Drum beats a Call; but to him that was born a Devil, Satan, that never acts to no purpose, cou’d not think him worth being possess’d by any thing better than a Devil of a dirty Quality; that is to say, a Spirit too mean to wear the Name of Devil, without some Badge or Addition of Infamy and Meanness to distinguish it by.

Thus what Devil of Quality would be confin’d to a P – n, who inheriting all the Pride and Insolence of his Ancestors, without one of their good Qualities; the Bully, the Billingsgate, and all the hereditary ill Language of his Family, without an Ounce of their Courage; that has been rescued five or six times from the Scandal of a Coward, by the Bravery, and at the Hazard of Friends, and never fail’d to be ungrateful; that if ever he committed a Murther, did it in cold Blood, because no body could prove he ever had any hot; who possess’d with a Poltroon Devil, was always wickeder in the Dark, than he durst be by Day-light; and who, after innumerable passive Sufferings, has been turned out of human Society, because he could not be kick’d or cuff’d either into good Manners or good Humour.

To say this was a Devil, an Apparition, or even a half Devil, would be unkind to Satan himself, since tho’ he (the Devil) has so many Millions of inferior Devils under his Command, not one cou’d be found base enough to match him, nor one Devil found but what would think himself dishonour’d to be employ’d about him.

Some merry good-for-nothing Devils we have indeed, which we might, if we had room, speak of at large, and divert you too with the Relation, such as my Lady Hatt’s Devil in Essex, who upon laying a Joiner’s Mallet in the Window of a certain Chamber, would come very orderly and knock with it all Night upon the Window, or against the Wainscot, and disturb the Neighbourhood, and then go away in the Morning, as well satisfied as may be; whereas if the Mallet was not left, he would think himself affronted, and be as unsufferable and terrifying as possible, breaking the Windows, splitting the Wainscot, committing all the Disorders, and doing all the Damage that he was able to the House, and to the Goods in it. And again, such as the Druming Devil in the Well at Oundle in Northamptonshire, and such like.

A great many antick Devils have been seen also, who seem’d to have little or nothing to do, but only to assure us that they can appear if they please, and that there is a Reality in the thing call’d Apparition.

As to Shadows of Devils, and imaginary Appearances, such as appear, and yet are invisible at the same time, I had thought to have bestow’d a Chapter upon them by themselves, but it may be as much to the Purpose to let them alone, as to meddle with them; ’tis said our old Friend Luther used to be exceedingly troubled with such invisible Apparitions, and he tells us much of them, in what they call his Table-talk; but with Master Luther’s leave, tho’ the Devil passes for a very great Lyar, I could swallow many things of his own proper making, as soon as some of those I find in a Book that goes by his Name, particularly the Story of the Devil in a Basket, the Child flying out of the Cradle, and the like.

In a word, the walking Devils that we have generally among us, are of the female Sex; whether it be that the Devil finds less Difficulty to manage them, or that he lives quieter with them, or that they are fitter for his Business than the Men, I shall not now enter into a Dispute about that; perhaps he goes better disguis’d in the fair Sex than otherwise; Antiquity gives us many Histories of She-Devils, such as we can very seldom match for Wickedness among the Men; such now as in the Text, Lot’s Daughters, Joseph’s Mistress, Sampson’s Dalilah, Herod’s Herodias, these were certainly Devils, or play’d the Devil sufficiently in their Turn; one Male Apparition indeed the Scripture furnishes you with, and that is Judas; for his Master says expresly of him, One of you is a Devil; not has the Devil, or is possess’d of the Devil; but really is a Devil, or is a real Devil.

How happy is it, that this great Secret comes thus to be discover’d to mankind? Certainly the World has gone on in Ignorance a long time, and at a strange rate, that we should have so many Devils continually walking about among us in humane Shape, and we know it not.

Philosophers tell us that there is a World of Spirits, and many learned Pieces of Guess-work they make at it, representing the World to be so near us, that the Air, as they describe it, must be full of Dragons and Devils, enough to fright our Imaginations with the very Thoughts of them; and if they say true, ’tis our great Felicity that we cannot see any farther into it than we do, which if we could, would appear as frightful as Hell itself; but none of those Sages ever told us, till now, that half the People who converse with us are Apparitions, especially of the Women; and among them especially this valuable Part, the Woman of Figure, the fair, the beautiful, or patch’d and painted.

This unusual Phænomenon has been seen but a little while, and but a little way, and the general Part of Mankind cannot come into the same Notions about it; nay, perhaps they will all think it strange; but be it as strange as it will, the Nature of the Thing confirms it, this lower Sphere is full of Devils; and some of both Sexes have given strange Testimonies of the Reality of their pre-existent Devilism for many Ages past, tho’ I think it never came to that Height as it has now.

It is true, in former times Satan dealt much in old Women, and those, as I have observ’d already, very ugly, Ugly as a Witch, Black as a Witch, I look like a Witch, all proverbial Speeches, and which testify’d what Tools it was Satan generally work’d with; and these old Spectres, they tell us, us’d to ride thro’ the Air in the Night, and upon Broomsticks too, all mighty homely Doings; some say they us’d to go to visit their Grand Seignior the Devil, in those Nocturnal Perambulations: But be that as it will, ’tis certain the Devil has chang’d hands, and that now he walks about the World cloth’d in Beauty, cover’d with the Charms of the Lovely, and he fails not to disguise himself effectually by it, for who would think a beautiful Lady could be a Masque to the Devil? and that a fine Face, a divine Shape, a heavenly Aspect, should bring the Devil in her Company, nay, should be herself an Apparition, a mere Devil.

The Enquiry is indeed worth our while, and therefore I hope all the enamour’d Beaus and Boys, all the Beauty-hunters and Fortune-hunters, will take heed, for I suppose if they get the Devil, they will not complain for want of a Fortune; and there’s Danger enough, I assure you, for the World is full of Apparitions, non rosa sine spinis; not a Beauty without a Devil, the old Women Spectres, and the young Women Apparitions; the ugly ones Witches, and the handsome ones Devils; Lord ha’ Mercy, and a ✠ may be Set on the Man’s Door that goes a courting.

Chap. VIII

Of the Cloven-Foot walking about the World without the Devil, (viz.) of Witches making Bargains for the Devil, and particularly of selling the Soul to the Devil

I have dwelt long upon the Devil in Masque as he goes about the World incog. and especially without his Cloven-Foot, and have touched upon some of his Disguises in the Management of his Interest in the World; I must say some of his Disguises only, for who can give a full account of all his Tricks and Arts in so narrow a Compass as I am prescrib’d to?

But as I said, that every Devil has not a Cloven-Foot, so I must add now for the present Purpose, that every Cloven-Foot is not the Devil.

Not but that wherever I should meet the Cloven-Hoof, I should expect that the Devil was not far off, and should be apt to raise the Posse against him, to apprehend him; yet it may happen otherwise, that’s certain; every Coin has its Counterfeit, every Art its Pretender, every Whore her Admirer, every Error its Patron, and every Day has its Devil.

I have had some thought of making a full and compleat Discovery here of that great Doubt which has so long puzzl’d the World, namely, whether there is any such Thing, as secret making Bargains with the Devil, and the first positive Assurance I can give you in the Case, is, that if there is not, ’tis not his Fault, ’tis not for want of his Endeavour, ’tis plain, if you will pardon me for taking so mean a Step, as that of quoting Scripture; I say, ’tis evident he would fain have made a Contract with our Saviour, and he bid boldly (give him his due) namely, all the Kingdoms of the World for one bend of his Knee: Impudent Seraph! To think thy Lord should pay thee Homage! How many would agree with him here for a less Price! They say, Oliver Cromwell struck a Bargain with him, and that he gave Oliver the Protectorship, but would not let him call himself King, which stuck so close to that Furioso, that the Mortification Spread into his Soul, and ’tis said, he dy’d of a Gangreen in the Spleen. But take Notice and do Oliver Justice; I do not vouch the Story, neither does the Bishop say one Word of it.

Fame us’d to say, that the old famous Duke of Luxemburg made a Magic compact of this Kind; nay, I have heard many an (old Woman) Officer of the Troops, who never car’d to see his Face, declare that he carry’d the Devil at his Back. I remember a certain Author of a News Paper in London was once taken up, and they say, it cost him 50l. for printing in his News, that Luxemburg was Humpback’d. Now if I have resolv’d the Difficulty, namely, that he was not hump’d, only carry’d the Devil at his Back; I think the poor Man should have his 50l. again, or I should have it for the Discovery.

I confess, I do not well understand this compacting with such a Fellow as can neither write nor read; nor do I know who is the Scrivener between them, or how the Indenture can be executed; but that which is worse than all the rest is, that in the first Place, the Devil never keeps Articles; he will contract perhaps, and they say he is mighty forward to make Conditions; but who shall bind him to the Performance, and where is the Penalty if he fails? if we agree with him, he will be apt enough to claim his Bargain and demand Payment; nay, perhaps before it is due; but who shall make him stand to his.

Besides, he is a Knave in his Dealing, for he really promises what he cannot perform; witness his impudent Proposal to our Lord mentioned above. All these Kingdoms will I give thee! Lying Spirit! Why they were none of thine to give, no not one of them; for the Earth is the Lords and the kingdoms thereof, nor were they in his Power any more than in his Right: So (I have heard that) some poor dismal Creatures have sold themselves to the Devil for a Sum of Money, for so much Cash, and yet even in that Case, when the Day of Payment came, I never heard that he brought the Money or paid the Purchase, so that he is a Scoundrel in his Treaties, for you shall trust for your Bargain, but not be able to get your Money; and yet for your Part, he comes for you to an Hour: Of which by it self.

In a Word, let me caution you all, when you trade with the Devil, either get the Price or quit the Bargain; the Devil is a cunning Shaver, he will wriggle himself out of the Performance on his Side if possible, and yet expect you should be punctual on your Side. They tell you of a poor Fellow in Herefordshire, that offer’d to sell his Soul to him for a Cow, and though the Devil promised, and as they say, sign’d the Writings, yet the poor Countryman could never get the Cow of him, but still as he brought a Cow to him, some body or other came and challeng’d it, proving that it was lost or stolen from them; so that the Man got nothing but the Name of a Cow-stealer, and was at last carried to Hereford Goal, and condemn’d to be hang’d for stealing two Cows, one after the other: The wicked Fellow was then in the greatest Distress imaginable, he summon’d his Devil to help him out, but he failed him, as the Devil always will; he really had not stolen the Cows, but they were found in his Possession, and he could give no Account how he came by them; at last he was driven to confess the Truth, told the horrid Bargain he had made, and how the Devil often promis’d him a Cow, but never gave him one, except that several Times in the Morning early he found a Cow put into his Yard, but it always prov’d to belong to some of his Neighbours: Whether the Man was hang’d or no, the Story does not relate; but this Part is to my Purpose, that they that make Bargains with the Devil, ought to make him give Security for the Performance of Covenants, and who the Devil would get to be bound for him, I can’t tell, they must look to that who make the Bargain: Besides, if he had not had a Mind to cheat or baffle the poor Man, what need he have taken a Cow so near home? if he had such and such Powers as we talk of, and as Fancy and Fable furnish for him, could not he have carried a Cow in the Air upon a Broom-stick, as well as an old Woman? Could he not have stole a Cow for him in Lincolnshire, and set it down in Herefordshire, and so have performed his Bargain, saved his Credit, and kept the poor Man out of Trouble? so that if the Story is True, as I really believe it is, either it is not the Devil that makes those Bargains, or the Devil has not such Power as we bestow on him, except on Special Occasions he gets a Permit, and is bid go, as in the Case of Job, the Gadaren Hogs, and the like.

We have another Example of a Man’s selling himself to the Devil, that is very remarkable, and that is in the Bible too, and even in that, I do not find, what the Devil did for him, in Payment of the Purchase Price. The Person selling was Ahab, of whom the Text says expresly, there was none like him, who did sell himself to work Wickedness in the Sight of the Lord, 1 Kings xxi. 20, and the 25. I think it might have been rendred, if not translated in Spight of the Lord, or in Defiance of God; for certainly that’s the Meaning of it; and now allowing me to preach a little upon this Text, my Sermon shall be very short. Ahab sold himself, who did he sell himself to? I answer that Question by a Question; who would buy him? who, as we say, would give any thing for him? and the Answer to that is plain also, you may judge of the Purchaser by the Work he was to do; he that buys a Slave in the Market, buys him to work for him, and to do such Business as he has for him to do: Ahab was bought to work wickedness, and who would buy him for that but the Devil?

I think there’s no room to doubt but Ahab sold himself to the Devil; the Text is plain that he sold himself, and the Work he was sold to do points out the Master that bought him; what Price he agreed with the Devil for, that indeed the Text is silent in, so we may let it alone, nor is it much to our Purpose, unless it be to enquire whether the Devil stood to his Bargain or not, and whether he paid the Money according to Agreement, or cheated him as he did the Farmer at Hereford.

This buying and selling between the Devil and us, is, I must confess, an odd kind of Stock-jobbing, and indeed the Devil may be said to sell the Bear-skin, whatever he buys; but the strangest Part is when he comes to demand the transfer; for as I hinted before, whether he Performs or no, he expects his Bargain to a Tittle; there is indeed some Difficulty in resolving how and in what Manner Payment is made; the Stories we meet with in our Chimney-Corner Histories, and which are so many Ways made Use of to make the Devil frightful to us and our Heirs for ever, are generally so foolish and ridiculous, as, if true or not true, they have nothing Material in them, are of no Signification, or else so impossible in their Nature, that they make no Impression upon any body above twelve Years old and under seventy; or else are so tragical that Antiquity has fabled them down to our Taste, that we might be able to hear them and repeat them with less Horror than is due to them.

This Variety has taken off our Relish of the Thing in general, and made the Trade of Soul-selling, like our late more eminent Bubbles, be taken to be a Cheat and to have little in it.

However, to speak a little more gravely to it, I cannot say but that since, by the two eminent Instances of it above in Ahab, and in Christ himself, the Fact is evidently ascertain’d; and that the Devil has attempted to make such a Bargain on one, and actually did make it with the other. The Possibility of it is not to be disputed; but then I must explain the Manner of it a little, and bring it down, nearer to our Understanding, that it may be more intelligible than it is; for as for this selling the Soul, and making a Bargain to give the Devil Possession by Livery and Seisin on the Day appointed, that I cannot come into by any Means; no nor into the other Part, namely, of the Devil coming to claim his Bargain, and to demand the Soul according to Agreement, and upon Default of a fair Delivery, taking it away by Violence Case and all, of which we have many historical Relations pretty current among us; some of which, for ought I know, we might have hop’d had been true, if we had not been sure they were false, and others we had Reason to fear were false, because it was impossible they should be true.

The Bargains of this Kind, according to the best Accounts we have of them, used to consist of two main Articles, according to the ordinary Stipulations in all Covenants; namely,

1. Something to be perform’d on the Devil’s Part, buying.

2. Something to be performed on the Man’s Part, selling.

1. The Devil’s Part: This was generally some poor Trifle, for the Devil generally bought good Penny-worths, and oftentimes like a compleat Sharper, agreed to give what he was not able to procure; that is to say, would bargain for a Price he could not pay, as in the Case of the Hereford Man and the Cow; for Example, 1. Long Life: This tho’ the deluded Chapman has often had folly enough to contract for, the Devil never had Power to make good; and we have a famous Story, how true I know not, of a Wretch that sold himself to the Devil on Condition he, Satan, should assure him (1.) That he should never want Victuals; (2.) That he should never be a cold; (3.) That he should always come to him when he call’d him; and (4.) That he should let him live one and twenty Years, and then Satan was at Liberty to have him; that is, I suppose, to take him wherever he could find him.

It seems, the Fellow’s desire to be assur’d of 21 Years Life, was chiefly, that during that Time, he might be as wicked as he would, and should yet be sure not to be hang’d, nay, to be free from all Punishment; upon this Foot ’tis said he commenc’d Rogue, and committed a great many Robberies and other villanous Things; now it seems the Devil was pretty true to his Bargain in several of those things; particularly, that two or three times when the Fellow was taken up for petty Crimes, and call’d for his old Friend, he came and frighted the Constables so, that they let the Offender get away from them: But at Length having done some capital Crime, a Set of Constables, or such like Officers, seiz’d upon him, who were not to be frighted with the Devil, in what Shape soever he appear’d; so that they carry’d him off, and he was committed to Newgate or some other Prison as effectual.

Nor could Satan with all his Skill unlock his Fetters, much less the Prison Doors; But he was try’d, convicted, and executed. The Fellow in his Extremity, they say, expostulated with the Devil for his Bargain, the Term of 21 Years it seems not being expir’d. But the Devil, it is said, shuffl’d with him, told him a good while, he would get him out, bid him have Patience and stay a little, and thus led him on, till he came as it were within Sight of the Gallows, that is to say, within a Day or two of his Execution; when the Devil cavill’d upon his Bargain, told him, he agreed to let him live 21 Years, and he had not hindred him, but that he did not Covenant to cause him to live that Time; that there was a great deal of Difference between doing and suffering; that he was to suffer him to live, and that he did; but he could not make him live when he had brought himself to the Gallows.

Whether this Story were true or not, for you must not expect we Historians should answer for the Discourse between the Devil and his Chaps, because we were not privy to the Bargain: I say, whether it was true or not, the Inference is to our Purpose several Ways.

1. It confirms what I have said of the Knavery of the Devil in his Dealings, and that when he has Stock-jobb’d with us on the best Conditions he can get, he very seldom performs his Bargain.

2. It confirms what I have likewise said, that the Devil’s Power is limited; with this Addition, that he not only cannot destroy the Life of Man, but that he cannot preserve it; in short, he can neither prevent or bring on our Destruction.

I may be allow’d, I hope, for the Sake of the present Discourse, to suppose that the Devil would have been so just to this wicked, tho’ foolish Creature, as to have sav’d him from the Gallows if he could; but it seems, he at last acknowledg’d that it was not in his Power; nay, he could not keep him from being taken and carry’d to Prison, after he was gotten into the Hands of a bold Fellow or two, that were not to be fear’d with his Bluster, as some foolish Creatures had been before.

And how simple, how weak, how unlike any Thing of an Angelick Nature, was it to attempt to save the poor Wretch, only by little Noises and sham Appearances, putting out the Candles, rushing and josteling in the Dark, and the like! If the Devil was that mighty Seraph, which we have heard of, if he is a God of this World, a Prince of the Air, a Spirit able to destroy Cities and make Havock in the World; if he can raise Tempests and Storms, throw Fire about the World, and do wonderful Things, as an unchain’d Devil no Doubt could do; what need all this Frippery? and what need he try so many ridiculous Ways, by the Emptiness, nay, the silly nonsensical Manner, of which, he shews, that he is able to do no better, and that his Power is extinguish’d? In a Word, he would certainly act otherwise, if he could. Sed caret pedibus, he wants Power.

How weak a thing is it then, for any Man to expect Performance from the Devil? If he has not Power to do Mischief, which is his Element, his very Nature, and on many Accounts, is the very sum of his Desires; How should he have Power to do Good? how Power to deliver from Danger or from Death? which Deliverance would be in itself a Good, and we know it is not in his Nature to do Good to or for any Man?

In a Word, the Devil is strangely impudent, to think that any Man should depend upon him for the Performance of an Agreement of any Kind whatever, when he knows himself, that he is not able, if he was honest enough, to be as good as his Word.

Come we next to his expecting our Performance to him; tho’ he is not so just to us, yet, it seems, he never fails to come and demand Payment of us at the very Day appointed: He was but a weak Trader in Things of this Nature, who having sold his Soul to the Devil, so our old Women’s Tales call the Thing, and when the Devil came to demand his Bargain, put it off as a Thing of no Force, for that it was done so long ago, he thought he (the Devil) had forgot it. It was a better Answer, which they tell us, a Lutheran Divine gave the Devil in the Name of a poor Wretch, who had sold himself to the Devil, and who was in a terrible Fright about his coming for his Bargain, as he might well be indeed, if the Devil has such a Power, as really to come and take it by Force. The Story (if you can bear a serious one) is this.