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A Book of Burlesque: Sketches of English Stage Travestie and Parody
"Anne Boleyn" is particularly prolific in good puns, in the making of which the author showed himself an adept. It would be a pleasure to quote a few of them, but I give instead some lines in which, speaking through the mouth of one of his characters, the writer satirises the methods of the old-fashioned drama: —
Mine were the "palmy days" when, I declare,A little table and two chairs, sir, wereThought furniture sufficient for a scene;When a baize drugget – generally green —Covered the stage where'er the place was laid,Serving alike for palace, cot or glade;When, in a drawing-room, a servant-maidWould sing a duet with the comic man;When dramas only for a few nights ran;When a rhymed tag to every piece was tacked;When most plays had a dozen scenes an act;When bucket boots and ringlet wigs were worn,"Acting's a lost art," sir, since you were born;Those are the days which I look back upon,Of broadsword combats with – "Ha, ha! Come on!"Good Queen Bess was added to Mr. Burnand's gallery in 1870, when his "E-liz-a-beth, or the Don, the Duck, the Drake, and the Invisible Armada," was brought out at the Vaudeville, with Mr. Thorne as the Queen, Mr. David James as Whiskerandos, and George Honey as Drake. The "Maiden Queen" has not been greatly tantalised by the burlesque writers, who, on the other hand, have made very free with a gentleman who much disturbed her successor – Guy Fawkes. Mr. Burnand handled him in 1866 (at the Strand); H. J. Byron followed suit at the Gaiety in 1874; last year we had the "Guy Fawkes, Esq." of Messrs. "A. C. Torr" (Fred Leslie) and H. F. Clark; and I believe that Mr. Wilton Jones, too, has written a travestie on the subject. Charles II. was burlesqued by Mr. Gilbert Arthur a'Beckett in 1872, the locale being the Court Theatre, and the full title of the piece "Charles II., or Something like History." In this, as in Mr. Reece's "Romulus and Remus," there was some parody of the Lyceum "Charles I." – Mr. Righton, as Cromwell, imitating both Mr. Irving and George Belmore, besides indulging in the cancan! W. J. Hill was the King, and Mme. Cornèlie D'Anka the Queen (Catherine of Braganza). Pepys, Rochester, and Lily the Astrologer also figured in the piece. Cromwell was afterwards the leading personage in the "Oliver Grumble" of Mr. George Dance (Novelty, 1886).
About the names of such heroes and heroines as the Lady Godiva, Dick Whittington, Robin Hood, Herne the Hunter, and those distinguished footpads Claude Duval and Dick Turpin, there hangs a good deal that is clearly mythical. Still, some myths have more real vitality than absolute fact; and who does not believe firmly that the Lady Godiva rode round Coventry "clothed on" with nothing but her chastity, and, by taking away a grinding tax, "built herself an everlasting name"? Her adventure has been burlesqued at least twice – once by Francis Talfourd and a collaborator, at another time by Mr. H. Chance Newton. The Talfourd piece was called "Godiva, or Ye Ladye of Coventrie and Ye Exyle Fayrie" and produced at the Strand in 1851. Mr. Newton christened his work "Giddy Godiva." In the earlier burlesque, "ye exyle fayrie" Ignota (Miss Romer) is introduced merely as a dea ex machinâ in the interests of the heroine (Miss Marshall), who, in a passage of Shakespearean reminiscence, discusses the undertaking to which she has been incited by her husband: —
To be, or not to be, at his suggestion,A pose plastique, is yet a doubtful question!To bare my arms against a sea of troubles,And by a pose to end them! Each day doublesThe people's wrongs, the proud Earl's heavy tax;To help to ease them I would not be lax;But then to ride – riding, by some low scrubPerhaps be seen! – Ah, bother – there's the rub!The fear that still my courage may be lessWhen I have shuffled off this mortal dress,Must give me pause.A prominent character in the piece is Our Own Reporter, "Ye Specyall Commyssionere and Correspondente of ye Busie Bee" (John Reeve), who would fain play the part of Peeping Tom, and who, early in the play, sings a song wittily descriptive of his ordinary avocations: —
Rep. I'm a mercantile man, and my living is gotBy selling of articles —Leofric and Godwin. What? what? what?Rep. They're white and black, they're short and long,And some of them sometimes go for a song;And during my time, of labour by dint,I've set up many a column of —Leo. Granite?Godwin. Iron?Leo. Gutta Percha?Rep. No, no; that's not the sort of thing to make up the business that I do!Rep. I'm a military man, for I often have a shotAt public foes with —Leofric and Godwin. What? what? what?Rep. If I fire at you 'twill be no joke,For you'll hear the report, but see no smoke;And my charge is prepared with what do you think?By a devil and steam, of paper and —Leo. Sulphur and brimstone?Godwin. Gunpowder?Leo. Gun-cotton?Rep. No, no; that's not the sort of thing to make up the business that I do!Rep. I'm a literary man, and I can put a blotOn a proud snob's scutcheon —Leofric and Godwin. Hey! what? what? what?Rep. And if I mention the people's woes,And show you up, why down you goes;And the flow of language that I possessWill open the tide of the Public —Leo. Water Companies?Godwin. Baths and Washhouses?Leo. I have it – Press!Rep. Just so! Now you know the sort of thing that makes up the business that I do!Three burlesques have been devoted to the life and adventures of Sir Richard Whittington. There was, first, the "Whittington Junior, and his Sensation Cat," of Mr. Reece (Royalty, 1870); next, the "Young Dick Whittington" of Mr. Wilton Jones (Leicester, 1881); and next, the "Whittington and his Cat" of Mr. Burnand (Gaiety, 1881). Mr. Reece had Miss Henrietta Hodson (Mrs. Labouchere) for his Whittington, while Miss Farren was Mr. Burnand's. Robin Hood has had at least as many burlesque biographies as Whittington. A travestie, written by Stocqueler, Shirley Brooks, and Charles Kenny, and produced at the Lyceum in 1846, with the Keeleys, Wigan and Frank Matthews, was followed in 1862, at the Olympic, by one from the pen of Mr. Burnand. Mr. Reece wrote one, called "Little Robin Hood," which was seen at the Royalty in 1871, and this was revived – in three-act form – at the Gaiety in 1882, with Mr. Arthur Williams as a particularly droll Richard I. Robin Hood, it may also be noted, was a prominent character in Mr. Burnand's "Hit or 'Miss,'" at the Olympic in 1868. Herne the Hunter (who has a place in Mr. Burnand's "Windsor Castle") was made the leading personage in, and gave the title to, a travestie composed by Messrs. Reece and Yardley, and performed at the Gaiety in 1881. Five years later, at the Folly, we had "Herne the Hunted," in which Mr. H. P. Stephens had a hand, as well as Messrs. Yardley and Reece. Claude Duval was turned into a burlesque hero by Mr. Burnand, and strutted his hour upon the stage at the Royalty in 1869; followed longo intervallo by Turpin – here called "Dandy Dick Turpin, the Mashing Highwayman," – whom Mr. Geoffrey Thorn (Charles Townley) made the chief personage of a travestie performed in London in 1889.
VI
BURLESQUE OF SHAKESPEARE
Travestie of the drama and things dramatic has naturally played a large part in the history of English stage burlesque. Side by side with the producers and interpreters of tragedy, melodrama, and plays of sentiment, have been the possessors of the humorous spirit, who – whether as writers or as actors – have been quick to see the points in which works of serious plan and treatment have been open to the shafts of ridicule and raillery. As we have seen, most of the earliest efforts in English stage burlesque were directed against the extravagant tragedies of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. As time went on, and the limits of the serious drama became more extended, so did the limits of burlesque expand, and, from the days of John Poole downwards, the large variety of serious dramatic production has co-existed with a corresponding variety in the subject and style of the travesties submitted to the public.
Among those travesties a prominent place has been taken by the pieces devoted to the burlesque of Shakespeare – not because they have been particularly numerous, for they have not been so – nor because they have been uniformly successful, for the earlier specimens were singularly weak – but because of the general daring of the attempts, and because also of the genuine sense of fun exhibited by such baiters of "the Bard" as Gilbert a'Beckett, Francis Talfourd, Stirling Coyne, William Brough, Andrew Halliday (Duff), F. C. Burnand, H. J. Byron, and W. S. Gilbert. The business of burlesquing Shakespeare has never, so far as I can see, been taken up in a wholesale or an intentionally irreverent spirit. The seventeenth and eighteenth-century satirists left "the Bard" severely alone, and it was not until 1810 that the first formal travestie of Shakespeare – Poole's "Hamlet Travestie" – saw the light.36 The author then made all due apology for his temerity, at the same time pointing out the absurdity of the idea that any amount or kind of burlesque could possibly sully the fame of the dramatist. Two years later, in the course of his preface to the fourth edition of his work, Poole ironically congratulated "those who, on its first appearance, were apprehensive for the reputation of Shakespeare," upon the fact "that, notwithstanding Three Editions already before the public, he is neither expelled from our libraries, nor banished from our stage."
The truth is, a brilliant burlesque does harm to nobody; and a bad burlesque does but recoil upon the head of its author and his exponents. Poole's "Hamlet Travestie" is marked by the best intentions, but, as a whole, it makes dreary reading. The opening colloquy between Hamlet, King Claudius, and Queen Gertrude will give, to those who have not already perused the piece, a notion of the quality of the dialogue: —
King (to Hamlet). Cheer up, my son and cousin, never mind —Ham. A little more than kin, and less than kind.King. Why hang the clouds still on you? Come, have done.Ham. You're out, my lord; I'm too much in the sun. —Queen. Come, Hamlet, leave off crying; 'tis in vain,Since crying will not bring him back again.Besides, 'tis common: all that live must die —So blow your nose, my dear, and do not cry.Ham. Ay, madam, it is common.Queen. If it be,Why seems there such a mighty fuss with thee?Ham. Talk not to me of seems – when husbands die,'Twere well if some folks seem'd the same as I.But I have that within, you can't take from me —As for black clothes – that's all my eye and Tommy.King. Cheer up, my hearty; though you've lost your dad,Consider that your case is not so bad:Your father lost a father; and 'tis certain,Death o'er your great-grandfather drew the curtain.You've mourn'd enough; 'tis time your grief to smother;Don't cry: you shall be king some time or other.Queen. Go not to Wittenburg, my love, I pray you.Ham. Mamma, I shall in all my best obey you.King. Well said, my lad! Cheer up, no more foul weather:We'll meet anon, and all get drunk together.It was part of Poole's method to put the soliloquies into the form of songs, and so we find the lines beginning "O that this too too solid flesh would melt!" appearing in the following form: —
A ducat I'd give if a sure way I knewHow to thaw and resolve my stout flesh into dew!How happy were I if no sin was self-slaughter!For I'd then throw myself and my cares in the water.Derry down, down, down, derry down.How weary, how profitless, – stale, and how flat,Seem to me all life's uses, its joys, and all that:This world is a garden unweeded; and clearlyNot worth living for – things rank and gross hold it merely.Derry down, etc.Two months have scarce pass'd since dad's death, and my mother,Like a brute as she is, has just married his brother. —To wed such a bore! – but 'tis all too late now:We can't make a silk purse of the ear of a sow.Derry down, etc.The time-honoured "To be or not to be" is sung in this version to the tune of "Here we go up, up, up": —
When a man becomes tired of his life,The question is, "to be, or not to be?"For before he dare finish the strife,His reflections most serious ought to be.When his troubles too numerous grow,And he knows of no method to mend them,Had he best bear them tamely, or no? —Or by stoutly opposing them, end them?Ri tol de rol, etc.To die is to sleep – nothing more —And by sleeping to say we end sorrow,And pain, and ten thousand things more, —Oh, I wish it were my turn to-morrow!But, perchance, in that sleep we may dream,For we dream in our beds very often —Now, however capricious 't may seem,I've no notion of dreams in a coffin.Ri tol de rol, etc.'Tis the doubt of our ending all snugly,That makes us with life thus dispute;Or who'd bear with a wife old and ugly,Or the length of a chancery suit?Or who would bear fardels, and takeKicks, cuffs, frowns, and many an odd thing,When he might his own quietus make,And end all his cares with a bodkin?Ri tol de rol, etc.The "annotations" appended to the text of the burlesque are in parody of the performances of the commentators, who at least are fair game for chaff of this sort, and on whom Poole, in his preface, lavishes some excellent indignation.
Of subsequent burlesques of "Hamlet" there have not been many, but some of them have been really clever and commendable. There was, for instance, Talfourd's, published at Oxford in 1849; there was the "Hamlet à la Mode" of Messrs. G. L. Gordon and G. W. Anson, performed at Liverpool in 1877; there was the "Very Little Hamlet" of Mr. William Yardley, seen at the Gaiety in 1884; and last, but assuredly not least, we have had the "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern" of Mr. Gilbert, which, written originally without thought either of public or of private representation, has been enacted at a benefit matinée during the present year.
In "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern," which is an unpretentious little "skit," covering only some sixteen or seventeen printed pages, Mr. Gilbert supposes that Hamlet is the son (not the step-son) of Claudius. "Rosencrantz is a lover of Ophelia, to whom Hamlet is betrothed, and they lay their heads together to devise a plan by which Hamlet may be put out of the way. Some Court theatricals are in preparation." Now, once upon a time, Claudius had written a tragedy, which was damned, and to which no one is allowed to make reference on pain of death. "Ophelia and Rosencrantz persuade Hamlet to play his father's tragedy before the king and court. Hamlet, who is unaware of the proscription, does so; and he is banished, and Rosencrantz happily united to Ophelia."
In the first act, Rosencrantz, who has never seen Hamlet (apparently, because the former has been abroad), asks Ophelia what the Prince is like, and that gives Mr. Gilbert an opportunity for some characteristic satire. Ophelia says of Hamlet that he is "alike for no two seasons at a time": —
Sometimes he's tall – sometimes he's very short —Now with black hair – now with a flaxen wig —Sometimes an English accent – then a French —Then English with a strong provincial "burr."Once an American and once a Jew —But Danish never, take him how you will!And, strange to say, whate'er his tongue may be,Whether he's dark or flaxen – English – French —Though we're in Denmark, A. D. ten – six – two —He always dresses as King James the First!Guild. Oh, he is surely mad!Oph. Well, there againOpinion is divided. Some men holdThat he's the sanest far of all sane men —Some that he's really sane, but shamming mad —Some that he's really mad, but shamming sane —Some that he will be mad, some that he was—Some that he couldn't be! But, on the whole(As far as I can make out what they mean),The favourite theory's somewhat like this:Hamlet is idiotically saneWith lucid intervals of lunacy.In the second act, the Queen, observing that Hamlet is about to soliloquise, urges Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to "prevent this, gentlemen, by any means": —
Anticipate his points,And follow out his argument for him;Thus you will cut the ground from 'neath his feet,And leave him nought to say.The result is as follows: —
Enter Hamlet; he stalks to a chair, throws himself into it.
Ham. To be – or not to be!Ros. (R. of chair)Yes – that's the point!Whether he's bravest who will cut his throatRather than suffer all —Guild. (l. of chair) Or suffer allRather than cut his throat?Ham. (annoyed at interruption, resumes) To die – to sleep —Ros. It's nothing more – Death is but sleep spun out —Why hesitate?(Offers him a dagger.)Guild. The only question isBetween the choice of deaths which death to choose.(Offers another.)Ham. (in great terror) Do take these dreadful things away. They makeMy blood run cold. (Resumes) To sleep, perchance to —Ros. Dream.That's very true. I never dream myself,But Guildenstern dreams all night long out loud.Guild. With blushes, sir, I do confess it true!Ham. This question, gentlemen, concerns me not.(Resumes) For who would bear the whips and scorns of time —Ros. (as guessing a riddle) Who'd bear the whips and scorns? Now let me see.Who'd bear them, eh?Guild. (same business) Who'd bear the scorns of time —Ros. (correcting him) The whips and scorns.Guild. The whips and scorns, of course.(Hamlet about to protest)Don't tell us – let us guess – the whips of time?Ham. Oh, sirs, this interruption likes us not.I pray you give it up.Ros. My lord, we do.We cannot tell who bears these whips and scorns!The third act opens with a passage in which the turns and rhythm of Shakespearean prose are happily imitated: —
Enter King and Queen, meeting Rosencrantz.
Queen. A fair good morrow to you, Rosencrantz. How march the Royal revels?Ros. Lamely, madam, lamely, like a one-legged duck. The Prince has discovered a strange play. He hath called it "A Right Reckoning Long Delayed."Claud. And of what fashion is the Prince's play?Ros. 'Tis an excellent poor tragedy, my Lord – a thing of shreds and patches welded into a form that hath mass without consistency, like an ill-built villa.Queen. But, sir, you should have used your best endeavours to wean his phantasy from such a play.Ros. Madam, I did, and with some success; for he now seeth the absurdity of its tragical catastrophes, and laughs at it as freely as we do. So, albeit the poor author had hoped to have drawn tears of sympathy, the Prince hath resolved to present it as a piece of pompous folly intended to excite no loftier emotion than laughter and surprise.After Poole published his "Hamlet,"37 Shakespearean burlesque slumbered until 1834, when Maurice G. Dowling produced at Liverpool his "Othello Travestie." In this dull production, the Moor of Venice figures as "an independent nigger from the Republic of Hayti," and talks in "darkey" dialect (as does the same writer's Clifford in "Fair Rosamond"). Here, for example, is this Othello's address to the Senate (written and sung to the air of "Yankee Doodle"): —
Potent, grave, and rev'rend sir,Very noble massa —When de maid a man preferDen him no can pass her.Yes, it is most werry true,Him take dis old man's daughter;But no by spell, him promise you,But by fair means him caught her.'Tis true she lub him berry much,'Tis true dat off him carry her,And dat him lub for her is such,'Tis werry true him marry her.All dis be true – and till him dead,Him lub her widout ending —And dis, my massa, is the headAnd tail of him offending.Dis old man once him lub me too,Do' now in rage before ye,And often say, "Come Othello,And tell us pretty story,About der time when yon young child,(You naughty lilly child ye),And when you 'bout de wood run wild,And when you sold for slavey."Den ebery day him tell all dis,And sometimes lilly lie, too,And him look in de eye of miss.And den him hear her sigh, too,Den missee meet him all alone,And den him ax her wedder,Him make de both two hearts in one,Den off dey run togedder.W. J. Hammond played Othello in this piece, both at Liverpool, and afterwards at the Strand Theatre, where popular Miss E. Daly was the Desdemona and H. Hall the Iago. What can these presumably capable actors have thought of their rôles? The text of the burlesque is almost wholly without humour, of which, however, there is a gleam in the complaint made by Cassio that he has been ruined by a pint of beer: —
My reputation's lost – my reputation!I'm bother'd, sir – I'm bother'd quite with thinking;I've lost my reputation, sir, for drinking.I, who to good brown stout ne'er yet turn'd tail,Drunk and bedevil'd with a mug of ale!Was ever man in such a situation?My reputation, sir – my reputation!H. J. Byron's "Rival Othellos" (played at the Strand in 1876) was not a travestie of the tragedy; but it gave opportunity for some clever burlesque of tragic acting.
We come now to the first (and, so far as I know, the only) travestie of "King John," which happily was essayed by the capable pen of Gilbert Abbott a'Beckett. The year was 1837, the locale the St. James's Theatre, and Hall the representative of the title-part, with Mme. Sala as Lady Constance. The play was lucky in being dealt with by so deft a workman. The subject was not very promising, and all was done with it that was possible. The scene in which the King incites Hubert to get rid of Arthur was thus travestied: —
Hubert, my friend, I had a thing to say.But let it pass – the sun is shining bright:To suit my purpose, it had needs be night,If where we stand could be a railroad tunnel,As if we looked at Tartarus through a funnel;If you could only scent what I propose,Yet let it not smell rankly in your nose,If you could, or if I – Hubert, my lad,Who made that coat? – indeed, the cut's not bad.Hub. Great king, you know I always lov'd you well,Then why not in a word your wishes tell?Why roll your troubled eye about its socket?My lord, your heart is in your breeches pocket.Though it would cost my life, what is't you need?I'll do your bidding —K. John. You're a friend indeed!But Hubert, Hubert, Hubert, throw your eyeOn that young lad, that now is standing by;I'll tell you what, my friend: that boy, I feel,Is, in my path, a piece of orange peel,And wheresoe'er I tread he'll throw me down,And if I fall, you know, I crack my crown.(Taking out his snuff-box.)You are his keeper – are you up to snuff?Hub. I am! I'll keep the urchin safe enough.K. John. Remove him —Hub. He shall die!K. John. Egad, I feelSo merry, Hubert, I could dance a reel.What shall I give thee?Hub. What you please.K. John. Then let it —Stand over, gentle Hubert, till you get it.Here, again, is the perversion of the famous scene between Hubert and the boy: —
Arth. Hubert, good Hubert, how are you to-day?Hub. I must not listen to his childish chatter,For if I do he'll melt my heart like batter.(Aside) Look here, young Arthur (gives warrant): can you understandThis paper, written in a large text hand?Arth. Oh, can I read it? – oh, unhappy youth!Must you with pinchers then take out my tooth?Hub. Young boy, I must.Arth. And will you?Hub. Yes, I will.Arth. Oh, it's too bad – when you were taken ill,Who was it to the chemist's ran full gallop,To get a penny dose of salts and jalap!And when I've seen you, after dining out,When you've made free at some hot drinking bout,Have I not always been extremely willingTo give for soda-water my last shilling?And you'll take out my tooth? If you will, come —I'll not resist, – here is my tooth, by gum!Hub. Young boy, I've sworn to do it – do not flinch:These instruments must help me at a pinch.Come forth! (Stamps.)Enter Ruffian, with a pewter basin, towel, etc.(To Ruffian). Do as I bid you.Arth. Hubert, stay:My tooth is out – do send that man away. (Ruffian seizes Arthur.)Hub. Now for the pinchers – now for one bold tug.Arth. Why be so boisterous? I will hold my mug.For Heaven's sake, Hubert, send that man away,And not a word against it I will say.Hubert, thy word indeed shall be my law;My tooth is out: see, I will hold my jaw!Hub. (to Ruffian). Go, stand without; I by myself will do it.Ruffian. Indeed 'twould make me ill were I to view it.[Exit RuffianElsewhere King John sings, to the air of "The Light of other Days," this excellent parody: —
