A Book of Burlesque: Sketches of English Stage Travestie and Parody

"Faust up to Date" includes some clever songs and some excruciating puns, of which these are perhaps the most excruciating: —

Marg. These sapphires are the finest I have seen.Faust. Ah! what I've sapphired for your sake, my queen!Marg. An opal ring, they say, bad luck will be;This one I opal not do that for me.

Again: —

Mephis. Along the Riviera, dudes her praises sing.Val. Oh, did you Riviera such a thing?

"Atalanta," the travestie by Mr. G. P. Hawtrey brought out at the Strand in 1888, was fitted with prose dialogue, much of which was very smart and amusing. The songs were numerous and well-turned, and certain details of the travestie were ingenious. Hippomenes, the hero, wins the race he runs with Atalanta, by placing in her path a brand-new "costume," of modern cut and material, which she finds it impossible not to stop for. For the rest, while possessing a decidedly "classical" flavour, "Atalanta" was, in essence, a racing burlesque, abounding in the phraseology of the turf, and introducing in the last scene counterfeit presentments of a number of well-known sportsmen.

An agreeable cynicism ran through both the talk and the lyrics, from one of which – a duet between King Schœneus and his High Chamberlain, Lysimachus – I extract the following satire on turf morale: —

Lys. There's a time to win and a time to lose.Sch.Of course, of course, of course.Lys. You can make 'em safe whenever you choose —Sch. By force, by force, by force.Lys. Then doesn't it seem a sin and a shameTo stop such a pleasant and easy game?If a horse doesn't win, why, who is to blame?Sch. The horse, the horse, the horse.Lys. If it's cleverly managed, I always think —Sch. Proceed, proceed, proceed —Lys. At a neat little swindle it's proper to wink.Sch. Indeed, indeed, indeed!I don't understand what it's all about;But a man must be punished, I have no doubt,If he's such a fool as to get found out.Lys. Agreed, agreed, agreed.Lys. It's all because jockeys have played such tricks —Sch.They go too far, too far.Lys. That the stewards are down like a thousand of bricks —Sch. They are, they are, they are.For a season or two, you'll observe with pain,They'll hunt out abuses with might and main;Then the good old times will come back again.Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!

Elsewhere, there is a diverting bit of parody suggested by the extreme cautiousness and bad grammar of some newspaper racing prophecies. Hippomenes and Atalanta are the sole competitors in the race, and the local "tipster" thus discusses their prospects: —

I have from time to time gone through the chances of the several competitors, so that to repeat what I have written is to go over very well-worn ground. Although the race is reduced to a match, it has lost none of its interest in the eyes of the public. It is a difficult race to meddle with, but the plunge must be made; I shall, therefore, give my vote to Atalanta, which, if beaten, it may be by Hippomenes.

Of "Joan of Arc," the "operatic burlesque" written by Messrs. J. L. Shine and "Adrian Ross" to music by Mr. Osmond Carr (Opéra Comique, 1891), the distinguishing feature – apart from the fact that the music is all original and all the work of one composer – is the neatness of the lyric writing, with which special pains appear to have been taken. Of Joan herself her father is made to sing as follows: —

Oh, there's nobody adepterThan our Joan, Joan, Joan!She is born to hold a sceptreOn a throne, throne, throne;She's the head of all her classes,And in fervour she surpassesAll the Hallelujah lasses,As they own, own, own!Don't call her preaching dull, forIt is not, not, not!She can do Salvation sulphurHot and hot, hot, hot!She can play the drum and cymbal,With her fingers she is nimble,And the pea beneath the thimbleShe can spot, spot, spot.She can tell you by your facesWhat you'll do, do, do;She can give you tips for racesGood and new, new, new!She can cut a martial swagger,She's a dab at sword and dagger,And will fight without a staggerTill all's blue, blue, blue!

Of all the songs in the piece, however, perhaps the most vivacious is that in which De Richemont (Mr. Arthur Roberts) describes how he "went to find Emin": —

Oh, I went to find Emin Pasha, and started away for fun,With a box of weeds and a bag of beads, some tracts and a Maxim gun;My friends all said I should come back dead, but I didn't care a pin,So I ran up a bill and I made my will, and I went to find Emin!I went to find Emin, I did, I looked for him far and wide,I found him right, I found him tight, and a lot of folks beside;Away through Darkest Africa, though it cost me lots of tin,For without a doubt I'd find him out, when I went to find Emin!Then I turned my face to a savage place, that is called Boulogne-sur-Mer,Where the natives go on petits chevaux and the gay chemin de fer;And the girls of the tribe I won't describe, for I'm rather a modest man.They are poor, I suppose, for they're short of clothes, when they take what they call les bains!And they said to me, "Oh, sapristi!" and the men remarked, "Sacré!"And vive la guerre aux pommes de terre, and vingt minutes d'arrêt!Voulez-vous du bœuf? j'ai huit! j'ai neuf! till they deafened me with their din,So I parlez'd bon soir and said au revoir, for I had to find Emin!And at last I found Emin, poor chap, in the midst of the nigger bandsWho daily prowl, with horrible howl, along the Margate sands;I heard the tones of the rattling bones, and I hurried down to the beach —Full well I know that they will not go till you give them sixpence each!Said they, "Uncle Ned, oh! he berry dead, and de banjo out ob tune!Oh! doodah, day! hear Massa play de song of de Whistling Coon!If you ain't a snob, you'll give us a bob for blacking our blooming skin" —But I took that band to the edge of the sand, and there I dropped 'Emin!

I have not thought it necessary, in the preceding pages, to offer any apology for stage burlesque. One must regret that it sometimes lacks refinement in word and action, and that in the matter of costume it is not invariably decorous; but that we shall always have it with us, in some form or other, may be accepted as incontrovertible. So long as there is anything extravagant in literature or manners – in the way either of simplicity or of any other quality – so long will travestie find both food and scope. That is the raison d'être of theatrical burlesque – that it shall satirise the exaggerated and the extreme. It does not wage war against the judicious and the moderate. As H. J. Byron once wrote of his own craft: —

Though some may scout it, …Burlesque is like the winnowing machine:It simply blows away the husks, you know —The goodly corn is not moved by the blow.What arrant rubbish of the clap-trap schoolHas vanished – thanks to pungent ridicule!What stock stage-customs, nigh to bursting goaded,With so much "blowing up" have been exploded!Had our light writers done no more than this,Their doggrel efforts scarce had been amiss.

In this defence of his calling, Byron had been anticipated by Planché, who, in one of his occasional pieces, introduced the following passage, in which Mr. and Mrs. Wigan and the representatives of Tragedy and Burlesque all figured. When Burlesque entered, Tragedy cried out —

Avaunt, and quit my sight! let the earth hide thee.Unreal mockery, hence! I can't abide thee!Burlesque. Because I fling your follies in your face,And call back all the false starts of your race,Show up your shows, affect your affectation,And by such homœopathic aggravation,Would cleanse your bosom of that perilous stuffWhich weighs upon our art – bombast and puff.Mr. Wigan. Have you so good a purpose, then, in hand?Burlesque. Else wherefore breathe I in dramatic land?Mrs. Wigan. I thought your aim was but to make us laugh.Burlesque. Those who think so but understand me half.Did not my thrice-renownèd Thomas Thumb,That mighty mite, make mouthing Fustian dumb?Is Tilburina's madness void of matter?Did great Bombastes strike no nonsense flatter?When in his words he's not one to the wise,When his fool's bolt spares folly as it flies,When in his chaff there's not a grain to seize on,When in his rhyme there's not a grain of reason,His slang but slang, no point beyond the pun,Burlesque may walk, for he will cease to run.FINIS

1

"Tom Thumb" was performed in 1740, with Yates as the ghost and Woodward as Noodle, Glumdalca (the giantess) being represented by a man. In 1745 Yates played Grizzle, Tom being enacted by a lady. The burlesque was seen at Covent Garden in 1828.

2

The parts of Chrononhotonthologos, Bombardinian, Rigdum-Funnidos, Aldiborontiphoscophornio, Fadladinida, and Tatlanthe were then taken by Messrs. Murray, Shine, Soutar, Squire, Mrs. Leigh, and Miss Bella Howard respectively.

3

The elder Mathews was Artaxominous; Liston, Bombardinian; and Miss H. Kelly, Distaffina. A few years later Munden played Bombardinian, and Farren, Fusbos.

4

In the preparation of "The Happy Land" (1873) Mr. Gilbert had only a share, the scenario being his, but nearly all the writing being done by Mr. Gilbert Arthur a'Beckett.

5

An adaptation of John Brougham's American burlesque, "Pocohontas." Into this was introduced a travestie of the Bancroft's garden scene in "School." Mr. Lionel Brough played Captain John Smith.

6

In "Olympic Revels," as in some other pieces, Planché had the valuable assistance of Charles Dance.

7

Byron also wrote a burlesque in which Prometheus figures – "Pandora's Box," seen at the Prince of Wales's in 1866.

8

In 1863 and 1871.

9

"Orpheus in the Haymarket." An opera buffo, founded on the French of Hector Cremieux. Performed, with music by Offenbach, by David Fisher, W. Farren, Louise Keeley, Nelly Moore, and Miss H. Lindley.

10

Played at the Olympic in 1834.

11

Of recent years Atalanta has been made the heroine of a burlesque by Mr. G. P. Hawtrey. Of this I give some account in my final chapter on "The New Burlesque."

12

Miss Herbert was Diana, and Miss Kate Terry one of the nymphs attending on her. Charles Young was Actæon; Belmore, Pan.

13

Miss Raynham was the hero; Mr. David James, his apprentice Cambyses; Mr. Thomas Thorne, the Princess Mandane; Miss Ada Swanborough, Venus; Miss Elsie Holt, Cupid; and Miss Eliza Johnstone, Mopsa.

14

"The Siege of Troy," by the way, was the title and subject of a burlesque by Robert Brough (Lyceum, 1858).

15

Paris, Miss Raynham; Œnone, Mr. Thomas Thorne; Castor, Mr. David James; Orion, J. D. Stoyle; Venus, Miss A. Swanborough; Juno, Maria Simpson; Jupiter, Miss Eliza Johnstone.

16

Paris, Miss Raynham; Helen, Miss Furtado. "Helen" is described by the writer as a "companion picture to 'Paris,'"

17

See p. 40. Eleven years later, Mr. Burnand wrote for the Opera Comique his "Ixion Re-Wheeled," the cast of which included, beside Miss Laverne, Miss Amy Sheridan and Miss Eleanor Bufton.

18

At the Olympic in 1836.

19

At the Strand in 1862, with Rogers, Clarke, Miss A. Swanborough, Miss C. Saunders, Miss F. Josephs, and Miss F. Hughes in the principal parts. The full title of the piece was "Puss in a New Pair of Boots."

20

This, first played at the Lyceum in 1860, was afterwards revived at the St. James's with Miss Kate Terry as the Princess.

21

Other versions of this tale have been written by Maddison Morton (at Drury Lane), and by Mr. Burnand (at the Holborn in 1868, under the title of "The White Fawn").

22

This part, originally played (in 1846) by James Bland, was played by Mr. Toole at the Adelphi in 1859, and afterwards by George Honey at the Princess's.

23

The part of the Yellow Dwarf was first played (Olympic, 1854) by Robson, of whose performance Planché says that "So powerful was his personation of the cunning, the malignity, the passion and despair of the monster, that he elevated extravaganza into tragedy." At one point his delivery of the lines moved Thackeray almost to tears. "It is not a burlesque," he exclaimed: "it is an idyll."

24

Byron was indebted to Mme. D'Aulnoy for the idea of his "Orange Tree and the Humble Bee, or The Little Princess who was Lost at Sea" (Vaudeville, 1871).

25

Lachrymoso was played by Mr. Toole at the Adelphi so recently as 1860.

26

In this the original Aladdin was Miss Marie Wilton; the Princess Badroulbadour, Miss Bufton; Widow Twankay, Rogers; Abanazar, Clarke; The Sultan, Miss Charlotte Saunders; and Pekoe, Miss Fanny Josephs (Strand, 1861).

27

Miss P. Marshall, Ganem; George Honey, Hassarac; Miss Bufton, Cogia; Miss F. Hughes, Zaide; Miss C. Saunders, Morgiana (Strand, 1863).

28

A burlesque on the subject of "Ali Baba" was written by Mr. Gilbert Arthur a'Beckett.

29

In the years 1848, 1865, 1871 and 1884 respectively.

30

These authors were happy in having Miss Ellen Farren to represent their hero, Miss Henrietta Lindley being the Badoura, W. H. Stephens and Mrs. Stephens the King and Queen, and Mr. Soutar the Skidamalink (King of the Isle of Ebony) (Olympic, 1865).

31

Another burlesque on the same story, entitled "Abon Hassan, or An Arabian Knight's Entertainment," was brought out at the Charing Cross Theatre in 1869. The author's name was Arthur O'Neil, and the cast included Miss Emily Fowler as the hero, and Mr. Flockton as Haroun Alraschid.

32

Mr. Edward Terry was the Vampire himself, and other parts were taken by Harry Cox, Miss Rose Cullen, and Miss Topsy Venn.

33

"King Arthur, or the Days and Knights of the Round Table."

34

Mr. Frederick Langbridge has printed a burlesque on this subject, with a title somewhat similar.

35

The cast was particularly good, including Miss Rose Coghlan as the King, Miss Litton as the Queen, Maclean as Walworth, Mrs. Leigh as Mrs. Tyler, Miss Tremaine, and J. B. Rae.

36

It was performed at Covent Garden in 1813, with Mathews as Hamlet, Blanchard as the King, Liston as Ophelia, and Mrs. Liston as the Queen. It was revived in 1874 on one occasion with Mr. Odell as Hamlet, and shortly afterwards with Mr. Leonard Boyne as the Prince, both actors indulging in an imitation of Mr. Irving's performance.

37

In "Hamlet Improved," by Colonel Colomb, a Mr. Mendall is supposed to have revised the last act of "Hamlet" in accordance with modern notions. Polonius is alive, having been only wounded by Hamlet; Hamlet's father also is alive, having only pretended to be dead. At the close, the King, Queen, Laertes, and Ophelia, all come to life again. Hamlet is represented by a stuffed figure, the actor chosen for the part having refused to enact it.

38

This was the piece in which Miss C. Saunders played Romeo, and Miss Marie Wilton Juliet. Maria Simpson was the Mercutio, J. Clarke the Nurse, Rogers the Apothecary, Bland the Friar, and Miss Bufton the Paris.

39

Juliet was sent to sleep, not by a potion, but by a perusal of the latest work of Mr. Tupper.

40

Produced at the Strand, with Hammond as Richard, Wigan as Henry VI., Romer as Tressel, Miss L. Lyons as Lady Anne, and so on.

41

See pp. 39, 40.

42

See p. 41.

43

Another burlesque on the same subject, called "Ups and Downs of Deal, and Black-eyed Susan," was seen at the Marylebone in 1867, with Miss Augusta Thomson as Captain Crosstree.

44

Mr. Merivale was fortunate in the cast of his production (played at the Gaiety in 1878). Mr. Edward Terry was the Claude, Miss Farren the Pauline, Mr. Royce the "Beauseong," Mrs. Leigh the Dowager Morier, and Miss Amalia the Babette, other parts being taken by Messrs. Elton, Maclean, Squire, and Fawcett.

45

Byron's "Don Juan," brought out at the Alhambra in 1873, was about equally indebted for its plot to the libretto of Mozart's opera and to Lord Byron's poem.

46

This, says Mr. Burnand in a note, is the poetic for "You'll get on your bonnet and accompany Polyphemus."

47

In this Miss Farren, as Robert, was supported by Miss Constance Loseby as Raimbault, Miss Emily Fowler as Alice, Miss Annie Tremaine as Prince of Granada, and Joseph Eldred as Gobetto.

48

With Miss Lydia Thompson as Robinson, Mr. Lionel Brough as Jim Cocks, and Mr. Willie Edouin as Man Friday.

49

With Keeley as Manfred, Bland as the Marquis Vincenza, Miss P. Horton as Theodore, Miss Reynolds as Isabella, and Mrs. W. Clifford as Hippolita.

50

This burlesque has been used, during the present year, as the foundation for a travestie played by the Cambridge Amateur Dramatic Company, under the title of "Ivanhoe à la Carte" (in allusion to Mr. D'Oyly Carte's production of Sir Arthur Sullivan's "Ivanhoe"). To this adaptation, it is said, new lyrics were contributed by Messrs. J. K. Stephen and R. C. Lehmann.

51

Mr. Plowman had Mr. Righton for his Isaac, Miss Kate Bishop for his Ivanhoe, Miss Nelly Bromley for his Rowena, Miss Oliver for his Rebecca, Mr. Alfred Bishop for his Brian de Bois-Guilbert, and Mlle. Cornélie D'Anka for his Richard Cœur-de-Lion.

52

In this piece Mr. Toole was the Robert Penfold, Mr. Lionel Brough the Joseph Wylie, Mr. Gaston Murray the General Rollingstone, Mr. Wyndham the Arthur Waddles, and Miss Ellen Farren (then in her novitiate) the Nancy Rouse.

53

Reminding one of H. J. Byron's couplet: —

Love levels all – it elevates the clown,And often brings the fattest people down.

54

Mr. David Fisher was the King Hildebrand, and Miss Maria Simpson (Mrs. W. H. Liston), his son Prince Hilarion; Miss Augusta Thomson being the Cyril, Miss Mattie Reinhardt the Princess Ida, Miss Fanny Addison the Lady Psyche, Mrs. Poynter the Lady Blanche, and Miss Patti Josephs the Melissa.

55

In a sense, all Mr. Gilbert's comic operas are burlesques, for they are full of travestie, especially of the conventionalities of grand opera and melodrama. At the same time, they cannot be called burlesques in the everyday, theatrical sense of the term.