A Book of Burlesque: Sketches of English Stage Travestie and Parody

Fancy a bower with rose and jasmine graced,Such as we see in small tea-gardens placed;Where friendly spiders and black-beetles dropOn to your bread and butter with a flop;Where mouldy seats stain sarsnet, satin, silk,And suicidal flies fall in the milk;Where we can scorn the heartless world's attack,Though daddy-longlegs may creep down your back;Smile at society's contemptuous sneer,Though caterpillars tumble in your beer;Where chimneys never smoke, and soot don't fall,Where income-tax collectors never call,Where one's wife's mother never even onceVisits her darling daughter for six months;Where bills, balls, banks, and bonnets are not known —Come, dwell with me, my beautiful – my own.

Turning to the burlesques of opera of the German school, we begin, naturally, with Mozart, whose "Don Giovanni" found humorous reflection in two pieces, by H. J. Byron and Mr. Reece. The former's "Little Don Giovanni"45 belongs to 1865, when it was performed at the Prince of Wales's, with Miss Wilton (Mrs. Bancroft) as the hero, Clarke as Leporello, Miss Fanny Josephs as Masetto, Mr. Hare as Zerlina (probably his only appearance on the stage in petticoats), Miss Sophie Larkin as Elvira, and Miss Hughes as Donna Anna. Don Giovanni was the last burlesque part written by Byron for Miss Wilton, and, moreover, it was the last burlesque part she ever played. She records in her Memoirs that an amusing feature of the piece was the spectacle presented in the last act by the Commandant's horse, which, in allusion to a recent freak in Leicester Square, had been covered with a variety of spots, and "looked like an exaggerated Lowther Arcade toy." Mr. Reece's burlesque was called "Don Giovanni in Venice," and came out at the Gaiety in 1873.

In 1842 Macready revived at Drury Lane Handel's delightful "Acis and Galatea," and the opera was promptly caricatured by W. H. Oxberry in a piece produced three days afterwards at the Adelphi. The travestie of "Acis and Galatea" which was seen at the Olympic in 1863 was from the pen of Mr. Burnand. Its full title was "Acis and Galatea, or the Nimble Nymph and the Terrible Troglodyte"; and the Nimble Nymph (described as "a Nymph of the Sea, who also visits the land – a nymphibious young lady") was played by Miss Hughes. The puns were prolific, and so were the parodies, the best of which are written in caricature of the absurd English translations in the operatic "books of the play." Here, for example, is a setting of the trio in "Trovatore" – "Il tuo sangue": —

Polyphemus. With you, oh, sanguine, I'd share your 'art, oh!'Twould be a stinger, ho! if no go.(As to her) Dear! (as to himself) Oh, folly! be calm, oh! I'm misty!(Holding his hands over his bursting heart – operatically singing)Eh, pooh, we've here a lump, oh! (alluding to his heart).No, eh, pooh, we've 'ere aLump, oh no.Ah! de gal, oh, so de gal, oh, so coy, press 'art to (enraptured)And it may then end in no go! (with a tinge of sadness).And it may then end in no go!I'm a gent, oh, over-misty (with his hand to his heart),Cease of her to be fond, ah, no!No! fond! ah! no!Ah! etc.Phyllis.   {Come, ah! come, will you o-ver-awe, eh? (fiercely).Galatea. {Come, ah! come, will you o-ver-awe me? (distractedly).Phyllis.  {You'll ar-ray, ah! wi' Pol trudge, oh!46 (fiercely).Galatea. {You'll ar-ray, ah! wi' Pol trudge, oh! (distractedly).Phyllis.  {Veep! ye'll ne'er go to rest o' shore, eh! (fiercely).Galatea. {Veep! we'll ne'er go to rest o' shore, eh? (distractedly).Phyllis.  {Gay! tomb! ah! one full! no beau! (wildly and demoniacally).Galatea. {Gay! tomb! ah! one full! no beau! (wildly and distractedly).

Six years after the production of Mr. Burnand's piece, Mr. T. F. Plowman brought out at Oxford "a piece of extravagance," to which he gave the name of "A Very New Edition of Acis and Galatea, or the Beau! the Belle! and the Blacksmith!"

Of Meyerbeer's operas three have been burlesqued in England – "Dinorah," "L'Africaine" and "Robert le Diable." The first of these was parodied in "Dinorah under Difficulties," a burlesque by William Brough, which dates back as far as 1859 (at the Adelphi). "L'Africaine" was handled by Mr. Burnand six years later at the Strand. Three years more, and "Robert le Diable" was being travestied at the Gaiety by Mr. Gilbert, under the title of "Robert the Devil, or the Nun, the Dun, and the Sun of a Gun."47 This last is on the old lines of "palmy-day" burlesque, and has not much in it that is characteristically Gilbertian. The lyrics are written chiefly to operatic airs, and there is no room, therefore, for rhythmical invention. In the dialogue, however, one comes across an occasional passage which strikes one as quite Gilbertian in its cynicism. Take, for example, these lines from the scene in which fun is made of the Tussaud "Chamber of Horrors": —

Bertram. These are all statues, raised from time to timeTo people who're remarkable for crime.Robert. But if their wicked deeds could so unnerve one,Why give them statues?Bert.'Cause they don't deserve one.That's our strict rule – a rule we never garble —Good deeds we write in sand, bad deeds in marble.

Some of the puns in the piece are worth recording. Thus, Alice says of a porter, to whom half a crown has been given: —

He'll spend it all upon his favourite wets —He tipsy gets with all the tips he gets.

Again, Gobetto says of Robert: —

He's smoking to a pretty tune, I'll bet, oh!Prince. That pretty tune must be "Il Cigaretto."

Gobetto says to Robert: —

We saw you through the window, pouring fizz in!Robert. I liked the wines, but didn't like the quizzin.

Again: —

Alice. Why, Robert, how you've changed in speech and tone!Your forehead, once so smooth, now bears a frown on it;As for your mouth, 'tis evident you're down in it!Robert. Yes, though I'm young, it's plain to all who con it,Down in the mouth before I've down upon it!

Weber's "Der Freischutz" has been travestied both by Mr. Burnand and by H. J. Byron, both productions taking place in 1866, within two days of each other – the one at the Strand, and the other at the Prince of Wales's. Mr. Reece is responsible for a burlesque of Flotow's "Martha," performed at the Gaiety in 1873, with Miss Constance Loseby, Miss Rachel Sanger, Mr. Lionel Brough, and Mr. Aynsley Cook in the leading parts.

Wagnerian "music-drama" has more than once been desecrated on the burlesque stage. First of all there came, at the Royalty in 1869, the "Flying Dutchman" of William Brough; then Messrs. Green and Swanborough brought out at the Strand, in 1876, "The Flying Dutchman" (with M. Marius and Miss Lottie Venne); and the "Little Lohengrin" of Mr. Bowyer saw the light in 1884 at the Holborn Theatre.

So much for the German school. Of the French composers, Auber has had more pieces travestied in this country than has any one of his fellows. There is "Masaniello," for instance, and "Fra Diavolo," and "Les Diamans de la Couronne." "Masaniello, or the Fish 'oman of Naples," was the title given by Robert B. Brough to the "fish tale, in one act," which he wrote for the Olympic in 1857. He had, for the impersonator of his hero, Robson, whose presence in the cast suggested to Mrs. Wigan the addition to the mad scene of sundry indications of the actor's former successes at the Olympic. The result was very successful. Masaniello came on, crying —

My lord, the Earl of Hammersmith is taken!Stop! That's in Hamlet! I'm Masaniello!To be or not to was – that's in Othello,Translated into Irish – for Ristori.Pop goes the Weasel – that's from Trovatore.

He then breaks off into a portion of the dagger dance from "Macbeth Travestie," following this up with a scrap from Italian opera and part of the hornpipe in "The Yellow Dwarf." Then Borella says: —

You are our chief! Do you not know me, sir?Mas. Excellent well! You are a fishmonger!And I'm your chieftain.Pietro. Are you not, my lad?Mas. Ay, every inch a King-fisher – not bad! (chuckles).The monarch of the deep – my lord of scales;Here's a discovery – I'm Prince of Whales!..Think not to pierce this hide of Indian rubber (weeps).A whale! Oh yes! A whale of tears! All blubber!Suzanna. Oh! this side-piercing sight!Mas. I'm very limp —And small – and flabby! Hang it! I'm a shrimp!

Then followed a song, in parody of "I'm Afloat": —

I'm a shrimp! I'm a shrimp, of diminutive size:Inspect my antennæ, and look at my eyes;I'm a natural syphon, when dipped in a cup,For I drain the contents to the latest drop up.I care not for craw-fish, I heed not the prawn,From a flavour especial my fame has been drawn;Nor e'en to the crab or the lobster I'll yield,When I'm properly cook'd and efficiently peel'd.Quick! quick! pile your coals – let your saucepan be deep!For the weather is warm, and I'm not sure to keep;Off, off with my head – split my shell into three —I'm a shrimp! I'm a shrimp – to be eaten with tea.

After this, Robson was wont to introduce a bit of "business" from "The Discreet Princess," ending with a ditty from the "Medea" burlesque. The travestie of the pantomime-action of the dumb girl Fenella was naturally another feature of Brough's work, which had the usual supply of puns, and, altogether, more than the usual amount of literary and dramatic merit. The little travestie, called "Masse-en-Yell-Oh," written by Messrs. Harry Paulton and Mostyn Tedde for the Comedy in 1886, was an unpretending piece of work, not challenging comparison with its predecessor.

Auber's "Fra Diavolo" was another of the operatic originals on which H. J. Byron based his comic fancies. He wrote, to begin with, "Fra Diavolo, or the Beauty and the Brigands," first seen at the Strand in 1858; and then, twenty years after, "Young Fra Diavolo," which made its appearance at the Gaiety. "Les Diamans de la Couronne" fell to the lot of Mr. Reece, who, in 1875, prepared for the Holborn Theatre the piece entitled "The Half-crown Diamonds," a revised edition of which found its way to the stage of the Imperial Theatre just five years later.

Hérold's "Zampa" was burlesqued by Mr. T. F. Plowman at the Court in 1872, and by Mr. J. McArdle for the provincial stage in 1876. The "Mignon" of M. Thomas has also been transmogrified into the "Merry Mignon" of Mr. Wilton Jones (1882). The "Carmen" of Georges Bizet has had its mirthful side portrayed in no fewer than four comic pieces – the "Carmen, or Sold for a Song" of Mr. Reece (Folly, 1879); the "Cruel Carmen" of Mr. Wilton Jones (1880); the "Little Carmen" of Mr. Alfred Murray (Globe, 1884); and the "Carmen Up to Data" of Messrs. Sims and Pettitt (Gaiety, 1890). The Carmen of the first of these productions was Miss Lydia Thompson, – of the last, Miss Florence St. John, a charming vocalist, gifted with the true vis comica.

But the most popular, by a long way, of all French operas, for purposes of burlesque, has been the "Faust" of Gounod. Of the many travesties of this, or of the story embodied in it, the earliest was that of Halford, brought out at the Olympic in 1854. This was followed in 1857 by a piece called "Alonzo the Brave," written by Mr. Burnand for performance by University amateurs at Cambridge, and mingling the story of Alonzo, as told in the ballad, with that of Faust, in a fashion effective, if a little puzzling. In this piece of extravagance (in which, by the way, Mr. Burnand played Mephistopheles), Imogene is the heroine, taking the place of Marguerite in the affections of Faust. For a while, in the absence of Alonzo, she yields to the snares of the tempter; but, in the end, her first sweetheart appears to her as his own ghost, her inconstancy is forgiven, and Faust retires from the scene.

Seven years later Mr. Burnand wrote a burlesque called "Faust and Marguerite" for the St. James's. He had Ashley for his Faust, Charles Mathews and Mrs. Charles Mathews for his Mephistopheles and Marguerite, H. J. Montague for his Valentine, and "Johnny" Clarke for his Martha. In this instance he followed the story of the opera pretty closely till near the end, when Faust was sued for breach of promise of marriage, and escaped the clutches of Mephistopheles only by consenting to pair off with Martha! A visit to a music-hall formed part of the action, and gave occasion for some pointed lines. Said Faust: —

I'm saddened by your modern comic singing;

and Mephistopheles went on to describe the scene: —

There sat the draper's clerk, who wildly lovesThe tenth-rate prima donna in cleaned gloves;The would-be swell, who thinks it mighty grandTo shake the comic singer by the hand;Who pays for his amusement through the nose,And stands not on the order of his "goes."He thinks the dark girls dressed in blue first-raters,And is familiar with the seedy waiters;He sips his sling or takes some sort of toddy,And encores everything and everybody.

Marguerite says at one point —

That circled orb, you think, 's the moon; it ain't:We know 'tis but a circle daub of paint.

And she remarks elsewhere that

The minnow is the minnow-mum of fishes.

Faust says, in one place —

Our prima donna, sir, has gone, I guess,To make herself primmer and to don her dress.

There is a diverting parody on "My Mother": —

Who guided you o'er lake and fell,Who told you all there was to tell,Ne'er missed a place, but showed it well?Your Murray!

In 1869 Mr. Burnand was to the fore again with "Very Little Faust and More Marguerite," which was played at the Charing Cross Theatre (as the building was then called). A few years later – in 1877 – H. J. Byron entered the field with "Little Doctor Faust," in which he had for interpreters the Gaiety artists, headed by Miss Farren and Mr. Edward Terry. Later still – in 1885 – came a provincial writer with "Faust in Forty Minutes." In 1886 we had at the Royalty a piece called "Mephisto," of which the only characteristic feature was an imitation of Mr. Irving by Mr. E. J. Henley, clever in its way, but not to be compared for sustained truthfulness to the performance given by Mr. H. E. Dixey in "Adonis" (at the Gaiety) a week or two previously. In 1886, also, Mr. Burnand brought out at Toole's – with Mr. Toole as Mephistopheles (à la Irving) – "Faust and Loose"; and, two years after, we had at the Gaiety the "Faust up to Date" of Messrs. G. R. Sims and Henry Pettitt, of which more hereafter. A notable fact about "Faust and Loose" is the appearance on the stage, for the first time, of Marguerite's mother – a lady unaccountably neglected by all previous writers, serious or otherwise! In the burlesque she thus introduces herself: —

My name it is – Really,I can't state it clearly;But I'll observe, merely,That I'm not to blame.To save further bother,I'm Margaret's mother,And, as I've no other,Why, that is my name.They can't do without me,The play's all about me,They flout me, they scout me;Oh! I call it mean!Each version where Ma is,In London or Paris,Makes me Mrs. Harris,Much talked of, not seen.I'm griping and grasping,I'm snoring, I'm gasping,With fear my voice raspingMiss Marguerite fills.They speak thus behind me —You'll speak as you find me —But all have maligned me,From Goethe to Wills!

English serious opera has not often fallen a prey to the untender mercies of the parodist. Balfe and Vincent Wallace alone have been victimised in that way – Balfe through his "Bohemian Girl" and "Rose of Castile"; Wallace through his "Maritana." The "Bohemian Girl" has taken four different shapes on the burlesque boards. In 1851, as transmogrified by the Brothers Brough, she figured at the Haymarket as "Arline." In 1864, under the auspices of Messrs. Best and Bellingham, she appeared at Sadler's Wells under the same designation. At the command of Mr. W. S. Gilbert she posed at the Royalty in 1868 as "The Merry Zingara." In 1877, as portrayed by H. J. Byron at the Opéra Comique and Gaiety, she appeared as "The Bohemian Gy-url." For his Arline Mr. Gilbert had Miss "Patty" Oliver; for his Gipsy Queen, Miss Charlotte Saunders; for his Count Arnheim, Fred Dewar; and for his Devilshoof, Danvers. Byron's piece was interpreted by the Gaiety Company. "The Rose of Castile," as treated by Mr. Conway Edwardes, was seen in 1872 at the Brighton Theatre as "The Rows of Castile." "Maritana," of course, was the origin and basis of Mr. Burnand's "Mary Turner" (Holborn Theatre, 1867), as well as of Byron's "Little Don Cæsar de Bazan" (Gaiety, 1876), in which Mr. Terry was such an entertaining King Charles.

IX

BURLESQUE OF FICTION AND SONG

The writers of stage travestie have gone less to fiction for subject-matter than might have been expected. Half a dozen romances previous to Scott, half a dozen of Scott's own stories, about the same number of modern novels, and still fewer foreign masterpieces – these represent the sources of all the most important of the burlesques which have been based upon invented prose narrative.

The earliest of the tales which have been thus dealt with is "Robinson Crusoe." Of this time-honoured story, the first whimsical treatment was that which took the shape of a piece called "Crusoe the Second, or the Shipwrecked Milliners," presented at the Lyceum in 1847. This was written by Stocqueler, and had for interpreters Mr. and Mrs. Keeley, with Alfred Wigan (as Crusoe). It was followed, in 1860, at the Princess's, by the "Robinson Crusoe" of H. J. Byron. Seven years later, no fewer than six writers joined in the production of a perversion of Defoe's tale, brought out at the Haymarket in 1867, and bearing the names of H. J. Byron, W. S. Gilbert, T. Hood, jun., H. S. Leigh, W. J. Prowse, and Arthur Sketchley. In this (which was given at a matinée for the benefit of the family of Paul Gray, the artist) the parts were all sustained by well-known men of art and letters. After this there came, in 1876, at the Folly, the "Robinson Crusoe" of Mr. H. B. Farnie,48 which, in its turn, was followed, just ten years later, by yet another arrangement of the story, in which Mr. Farnie had the co-operation of Mr. Reece.

To the Adelphi, in 1846, belongs an "extra extravagant extravaganza," founded by Gilbert Abbott a'Beckett and Mark Lemon on the "Peter Wilkins" of Robert Paltock (first printed in 1750). This burlesque had for its full title – "Peter Wilkins, or the Loadstone Rock and the Flying Indians," and had for its chief interpreters – Miss Woolgar as the hero, Paul Bedford as Jack Adams, and Miss E. Chaplin as Youriwkee. Dr. Johnson's "Rasselas" attracted the attention of William Brough, and was made, in 1862, the foundation of a burlesque produced at the Haymarket.

In 1765 Horace Walpole published his mediæval imagining, "The Castle of Otranto," by which so many of us have in our youth been thrilled. In 1848 Gilbert Abbott a'Beckett set himself to make fun of its singularities, and the result was a very brightly written piece, enacted at the Haymarket.49 In this, Manfred's son Conrad is found imprisoned under the gigantic helmet of Alphonso, and the distracted father at once begins to give way to comic word-splitting: —

If he's beneath that hat,His bier, by this time, must be precious flat!I'll not believe it! no, my life upon it!No one would dare my Conrad thus to bonnet.But stay! – has anybody got a lever,To give a lift to this gigantic beaver?(The helmet is raised at the back; Manfred looks under it.)Alas! he speaks the truth – my son lies low,Poor little chap, under this great chapeau.My. Conrad gone! – This is a sad disaster,The die is cast by this unlucky castor!Can no one tell me how or whence it came?Is there no ticket with the hatter's name?If I knew grief before, this hat has capped it, —My boy, crush'd 'neath this hated nap, has napped it!

In the opening scene, Hippolita, Conrad's mother, ventures to suggest to Manfred that the boy is not of marriageable age, sixteen summers not having yet passed o'er his head: —

Man. Time flies, you know; thro' life one quickly flingsOne's sixteen summersets, after sixteen springs.Hip. 'Tis my maternal tenderness that speaks:As yet no whiskery down adorns his cheeks.Man. I'll hear no more! talk not of down to me —The boy's as downy as a boy need be.

In the year following the publication of "The Castle of Otranto," the "Vicar of Wakefield" was given to the world. It appears to have escaped travestie until 1885, when – thinking more, no doubt, of Mr. Wills's "Olivia" than of Goldsmith's chef d'œuvre– Messrs. Stephens and Yardley brought out at the Gaiety "The Vicar of Wideawakefield," in which Mr. Arthur Roberts and Miss Laura Linden sought, not unsuccessfully, to reproduce and heighten some of the artistic peculiarities of Mr. Irving and Miss Ellen Terry. Mrs. Shelley's "Frankenstein," published in 1818, received its first dramatic reductio ad absurdum in 1849, when the Brothers Brough made it the subject of a burlesque; – its second in 1887, when Messrs. "Richard Henry" turned out at the Gaiety a travestie, of which I shall have something to say in my next chapter. In the Broughs' version Wright was Frankenstein and Paul Bedford the Monster, and much fun was made out of the finishing touches which Frankenstein gave to his work. "O." Smith, Miss Woolgar, and Miss Chaplin were also in the cast.

Sir Walter Scott's novels have obtained a fair amount of notice from the comic dramatists. "Ivanhoe," for example, has exercised the humorous powers of three – of Robert Brough (at the Haymarket in 1850), of H. J. Byron (at the Strand in 1862), and of T. F. Plowman (at the Court in 1871). Byron (who called his work "Ivanhoe in accordance with the Spirit of the Times"50) had the aid of Miss Charlotte Saunders as his Wilfred, of Charles Rice as his Brian de Bois-Guilbert, of "Johnny" Clarke as his Isaac of York, of Miss Eleanor Bufton as his Black Knight, of Miss Swanborough as Rowena, of Jenny Rogers as his Rebecca, and of Miss Polly Marshall, Miss Fanny Hughes, and Poynter in other parts. In the provinces he was his own Isaac of York.

"Isaac of York," by the way, was the title given by Mr. Plowman to his effort, which had a good deal of ingenuity and "go." Here, for example, is an extract from the scene at the banquet at which Cedric entertains his guests. Ivanhoe is soliloquising aside, and his utterances are interrupted by the demands of the personæ sitting at table: —

Ivanhoe (soliloquising aside). 'Tis strange once more my native boards to tread,Beneath the roof where I was born and —Rowena. Bread!Ivan. If she should recognise me, she'd be flustered.My utmost self-possession must be —Rebecca. Mustard!Ivan. She's lovelier than ever. Happy fate,Her beauteous face once more to contem —Isaac. Plate!Ivan. That scamp, Sir B., I'll challenge – that's quite clear,And (if I can) despatch him to his —Cedric. Beer!Ivan. I'll meet him boldly with my —Isaac. Knife and fork!Ivan. And fight till one of us is dead as —Sir Brian. Pork!Ivan. When Richard comes he'll stop such idle praters,These plottings Normans and base agi —Isaac. Taters!Ivan. He'll make 'em in their knavish doings halt;His action will be battery and as —Reb. Salt!Ivan. Out of his land he'll soon make each a stepper,When he returns, by Jove, he'll give 'em —Isaac. Pepper!

In another scene Isaac gives vent to a piece of mock-heroic execration directed against Brian de Bois-Guilbert: —

Avenge me, then, ye fates, I do implore.May he, like me, be martyr to lumbager,Tic-doloreux, sciatica, and ager,Sore-throats, neuralgia, hooping-cough, and sneezing,Rheumatics, asthma, colds, and bronchial wheezings.And while the north-east wind doth round him blow,Ye clouds, hail, mizzle, drizzle, sleet, and snow;Rain rakes and pitchforks, kittens, cats and dogs,While down his throat pour vapours, mists, and fogs.May broken chilblains ever stud his toes,May icicles hang pendent from his nose,May winter's cold his shaving-water freeze,May he be stopped whene'er he's going to sneeze.And when appalled you loudly call for helps,May palsies seize you —Sir B. Oh, shade of Mr. Phelps!51

Next to "Ivanhoe" in popularity for travestie we may place "Rob Roy." Mr. Sydney French took it in hand at the Marylebone in 1867, and Mr. William Lowe gave it a very Scotch rendering, in 1880, under the title of "Mr. Robert Roye, Hielan Helen his Wife, and Dougal the Dodger." But the "standard" burlesque on the subject is, of course, Mr. Burnand's "Robbing Roy" (Gaiety, 1879), in which Mr. Terry was such a diverting "Roy," with Miss Farren as Francis, Miss Vaughan as Diana, and Mr. Royce as an admirable Dougal. Of the "Bride of Lammermoor" there have been two burlesque versions – Oxberry's, at the Strand in 1848; and H. J. Byron's, at the Prince of Wales's in 1865. "Kenilworth" has been similarly honoured. There was the piece brought out at the Strand in 1858 by Andrew Halliday and a collaborator, and there was that which Messrs. Reece and Farnie contributed to the Avenue Theatre in 1885. "Guy Mannering" has engaged the attention of Mr. Burnand: we can all remember his "Here's another Guy Mannering," brought out at the Vaudeville in 1874. For the solitary travestie of "The Talisman," the late J. F. M'Ardle is responsible. It was first played at Liverpool in the year last named.