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Annapolly was going to be fine, but right now her nose hurt and that was Jess’s fault. Dan would sack her for this, and Jess would deserve it because she’d let Annapolly get out of her sight and hurt herself.
‘Let’s all go home.’ Dan’s gaze went from the daughter in his arms to the other children. ‘Hospitals—’ He didn’t say more, just hustled everyone outside.
Jess drove the van back home while Dan drove in his other car, Annapolly, Luke and Rob with him.
Jess never lost track of a child when she looked after them at the cottage. She supervised everything. Well, she’d failed to do that at Dan’s house, hadn’t she?
When both vehicles stopped outside the house a few minutes later Daisy took Annapolly by the hand and said the little girl could come and lie on her bed with her and she’d read to her. Mary went with them.
Luke and Rob had still been talking to their father when the car pulled up. Rob disappeared outside to ride his pushbike and Luke cast a furious glance in Jess’s direction before he turned back to his father. ‘I don’t like her. I don’t want her here. She can’t even take care of everybody and you seem to think the sun shines out of her, Dad. You don’t even know her.’
He got on his bike and rode off to the far reaches of the property before Dan could do more than start to rebuke him.
That left Jess, Dan and Ella, who’d fallen asleep on the way back. Jess changed her and put her down to nap in the travel cot and went back to face Dan. There was nothing else for this but to take full responsibility and hope Dan could get over her negligence enough to trust another person with his children. She didn’t know what to do about Luke. He would end this short association disliking Jess.
Well, Jess would just have to accept that, she supposed.
Dan was in the kitchen.
‘You’re eating cookies.’ Jess blurted the words with a complete lack of comprehension.
‘They’re very good cookies. I don’t get home baking like this very often and since my eldest just did his best to make sure I have a three-day heartburn, anyway, I think I deserve them.’ Dan took another cookie and, with his other hand, poured two cups of tea. His mouth was still tight. ‘Potato crisps are my usual addiction. I can go through packets of those in a day. I’m surprised the children left any cookies for me.’
‘We’d only just got them all out of the oven when we had to leave for the hospital.’ Jess glanced around her. She’d spotted empty crisp packets in Dan’s den and thought it was the children. ‘I didn’t tidy up, just rushed out.’
‘No, there tends to be a sense of panic.’ He said it as though he knew. Dan handed her one of the cups of tea. ‘Sit down, Jessica.’
Jess sat. She didn’t think she could drink the tea, yet she found herself sipping the sweet brew and taking comfort from its warmth. But Dan. Why wasn’t Dan yelling? Or very cold towards her? Something?
‘You’re going to sack me kindly but there’s no way anyone is to blame but me.’ That knowledge stabbed right through Jess’s heart. ‘I let Annapolly go to the bathroom and left it several minutes before I thought about the fact that she hadn’t come back. You must have been worried when you got Luke’s text message.’
‘I don’t know what’s got into that boy—’ Dan broke off, drew a tight breath and started over. ‘I was worried.’ His jaw tightened. ‘And I admit, I did feel angry for a minute when I realised you were all at the hospital. I wanted to blame you for not watching them properly, for potentially risking harm to one of them.’
As Luke had blamed her. Well, in this case Luke had the right of it. Jess forced herself to sit straight and not lower her gaze. She deserved this. Every bit of chewing over that Dan needed to hand out. ‘You have every right to be angry.’
‘What I am is human, Jess.’ Dan rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. ‘I pushed my worry out into irrelevant anger for a brief moment. But the fact that Annapolly stuffed her nose with paper doesn’t make you a negligent caregiver, no matter what my overactive mind might have tried to tell me to the contrary.’
Jess barely took in his words. ‘I’m the one—’
‘Who had to deal with the drama this time.’ Dan shook his head. ‘There’s five of them, Jess. They range in age from four up to fifteen. It’s a big house. No matter how good you are at your job there’ll be times when more than one of them is where you can’t see them. I do understand that. As their father, I live that on a daily basis. You can’t tie them all to chairs in the kitchen all day. And I asked you to help out with housekeeping and other duties as well.’
‘I guess so.’ Jess frowned. ‘Luke wanted to be left here by himself this morning and I wouldn’t agree. I didn’t think you’d want that.’
‘No.’ Dan put his tea down and leaned forward to face her across the kitchen table. His hazel eyes searched her grey ones. ‘Annapolly is more than capable of using the bathroom on her own. You let her do that. She pushed tissue paper into her nostrils while she was in there. She came out in distress, you got her to blow it out and took her to the hospital to make sure there was nothing still lodged up there and to find out whether any serious damage had been done.’
He reached briefly to touch Jess’s hand. ‘I’m not sacking you, Jess. It was an accident, and Annapolly is okay. In the end that’s what counts.’
He wasn’t going to sack her. Dan wasn’t furious. He’d had his bout of anger and that had been because of fear.
‘Thank you.’ Jess’s words were husky with relief, and with consciousness of Dan’s determination to be fair.
And of Dan himself…
And because that was so very unwise, she got to her feet.
Dan stood at the same time and Jess looked at him, overwhelmed for a moment. ‘I’ll work harder to keep a better watch on things in the future.’
Dan searched her face. ‘You’re all right about it now? ‘
No, she wasn’t, but Jess would be all right. She would make that be so, somehow.
Maybe Dan read her confusion and uncertainty. Maybe he forgot for a moment that she wasn’t one of his children in need of a comforting hug, because somehow his arms had opened and Jess was inside them with her nose pressed to his chest.
Jess was enveloped by the solid feel of him, of his broad shoulders making a protective curve while he drew her close to his body. There was tension in Dan’s body. More when Jess wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back.
Maybe she shouldn’t have done that, but she did, and their hug changed right at the end to something that wasn’t entirely about comfort.
‘I’ll pack the rest of the cookies away into a tin.’ Jess spoke the words with the length of the kitchen between them. She’d got herself out of Dan’s arms and a distance away very quickly. She shouldn’t have hugged him in the first place.
‘Just as soon as I’ve checked on everyone.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Thanks, Dan, for your kindness and understanding. There won’t be a repeat where you have to come to the hospital, because of something like this.’
Jess would make sure of it. He didn’t need that. Jess wasn’t so foolish that she couldn’t imagine that Dan would have had to go to a hospital or more than one, when his wife died.
Jess didn’t know what had been wrong with his wife or how she had died, but she’d seen how the children retreated into worried silence in Randurra’s emergency department this afternoon. Some of Luke’s anger had been about that, too, Jess suspected.
And she couldn’t have stayed within that embrace. Not without risking Dan realising how it was impacting on her. They had a working relationship and needed to stick to it, for so many reasons! ‘And I’d like to take the children back to the hospital very soon for a visit. We can take a gift to donate to the children’s ward. It’ll be a chance for the kids to see a brighter side of the hospital.’
Dan murmured an agreement. Jess hoped she could convince Luke to agree to this. She went to check on the girls, and then Dan’s sons. Rob was fine. Luke was playing a computer game in his room, screeching a racing car around corners on the screen. Would that help him get out his aggression? Should Jess try to speak to him?
She knocked on his door and waited for his head to turn. ‘Luke—’
‘Dad told me you’re staying.’ He’d paused the game for the moment it took him to speak the words. ‘Doesn’t mean I have to like it.’
‘No. It doesn’t mean that.’ Jess pushed back a sigh and left him to it.
When she came back, Ella was stirring in the travel cot and Jess got her up and took care of her needs and set about watching over everyone while she organised a meal. Everyone except Luke, who was still in his room.
Annapolly was okay. And Jess still had a job. She was more than grateful about that. Dealing with Dan’s eldest was no doubt going to be even more difficult now, but Jess wasn’t about to give up. She could see a good boy in there beneath Luke’s aggression.
And the reason for his aggression, Jess? The fact that he didn’t like the vibe he noticed between you and his father? What about the fact that vibe hasn’t gone away?
In the end, it would be irrelevant and Jess had to hope that Luke would see that eventually. Whether Jess was aware of Dan as a man or not and even if Dan was aware of her as a woman, it wasn’t something that could or should be pursued between them.
If Jess thought that Luke should allow his father to do whatever he wanted when it came to women, she was smart enough to know that she should not interfere.
Dan watched Jess settle his family in for the evening. She’d whipped up a meal for everyone while she kept a close eye on what all the children were doing, and kept her baby daughter happy, but he could see the tension was still within her.
Rebecca had looked just as devastated after the first trip to the hospital over a hurt child.
But Jess wasn’t Rebecca, wasn’t anything like Dan’s late wife. Dan had hugged Jess because she’d looked as if she needed it, and he had rapidly realised the hug could easily have become more for him. He’d wanted so much to kiss her.
While Jess had broken out of his arms and distanced herself physically, Dan had worked to distance himself mentally. He wasn’t happy to be attracted to Jess. Now wasn’t the time for his libido to wake from hibernation and start giving him trouble. But it must only be physical awareness because his emotions were still with Rebecca. Well, no, of course they weren’t, not in that way because Rebecca was gone and he’d grieved, but…
After the numbness and slogging through the days until the kids had got on their feet again, Dan now only wanted to focus on the children and his work. He needed to do that. He had nothing for anything else.
And Luke was being a complete pain about the whole topic, and that made Dan really uncomfortable. He hadn’t thought about how his children might react if he wanted to start seeing a woman; it hadn’t been something he’d expected to happen. It still grated to have Luke behaving so aggressively and taking a dislike to Jess when in Dan’s opinion she didn’t deserve it.
Yes, there’d been Annapolly’s mishap, but Luke knew as well as anyone that accidents happened, and he’d started to be difficult before today’s incident.
Well, Dan had told his son to pay Jess appropriate respect, and when the dust of today’s issues had settled a bit he would check to see if that was happening. There was no point taking it further, because Dan wasn’t seeking anything but a working relationship with Jess.
As she got the children sorted out after dinner and ready for bed Dan turned his attention to work. Right at the moment he didn’t have a whole lot of choice about that either!
‘I’m leaving now, Dan.’ Jess made the announcement from the doorway of his den. She looked ruffled and still uncertain of herself. She had Ella fast asleep in her arms. ‘Thanks for fitting that baby restraint to the van before you left this morning. Oh, and I did want to bring up Daisy’s birthday.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He drew a breath. ‘Daisy’s birthday is next week.’
‘Yes. I can make a cake, if you like.’
‘That would be nice.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Her gifts are purchased, as are most of the birthday party supplies. What I can’t provide is any extra children for the party. There hasn’t been time yet or the opportunity to find any new friends for them here.’
Dan hesitated and then shook his head. ‘That’s not something I can do in the next few days, but a family party will still be fun for Daisy. I’ll see you Sunday, then.’ If he walked her to her car he’d do something irrational. Such as try to talk about things that were only going to make both of them feel awkward.
‘I’ll send a text to your mobile when I get home.’
‘Goodnight, Jess.’
‘Goodnight, Dan.’ She walked away with Ella clasped in her arms. A slip of a girl who was the mother of a baby, but she was not the mother of any of Dan’s babies.
So he would get some sleep and Jess would go home and get some sleep and look after her other children tomorrow. When she came back to Dan on Sunday she would have recovered from knowing that Annapolly hurt herself while under her care. Hopefully by then Luke would have a better attitude to life as well.
Dan went back to his workload at the computer and made sure his mobile phone was nearby so he would hear it when she sent her text message through to say she had arrived home safely.
He drew a packet of potato crisps from the stash in his drawer. He would make a list of what needed to be done for Daisy’s birthday party, and when Jess came back on Sunday they would go through it and work it all out.
Dan and Jess, because that was what he was paying her to do.
And only that. Dan ate a few more crisps and wished he didn’t feel so run-down as he tried to think about it all.
CHAPTER FIVE
DAYS PASSED. THE TRIPS to and from Sydney were tough. Long hours on the road, longer hours of hard work for his client company. Days at home without Jess’s help meant working into the night to catch up time lost during the day. Dan pushed on. He didn’t have a whole lot of other choice but he’d bought himself time for today.
His most academic child was eleven years old and Jess had worked miracles for the party. Dan glanced about the backyard. It wasn’t an enormous crowd but it was one that was bringing Daisy happiness.
‘Oh, Daisy, that’s a really cool birthday present. I don’t think I’d be allowed to have that for my birthday.’ The comment came from a girl Daisy’s age as his daughter unwrapped the birthday present Dan had bought for her.
The birthday group consisted of Daisy’s brothers and sisters, Dan, Jess, Ella and three local girls who would be in the same school year as Daisy when she started at the public school a month from now.
Jess had found some potential playmates for Daisy.
‘Dad lets me have things because he knows I’ll be responsible with them.’ Daisy spoke the words with a smile.
Dan returned that smile. ‘Chemistry sets need to be used under careful supervision, but I think you’ll enjoy it, Daisy.’
‘You do well with her, Dan.’ Jess made the comment from Dan’s side. ‘A chemistry set was a great idea for her.’
‘Thanks.’ Dan turned to look at Jess, and for once really allowed himself to look. Today she wore a floral print skirt teamed with a black sleeveless top, big wooden hoop earrings and a chunky wooden necklace. She looked young and vibrant and beautiful.
And Dan was pushing forty, a father of five growing children. What on earth did he imagine Jess might see in him when she could have any man of any age? She would probably only want a man much closer to her own age. Why even ask the question anyway?
Because you know you are attracted to her.
Well, he could just become unattracted. And right now Jess not only looked gorgeous, she also, behind her cheerfulness, seemed a little worried or…scared?
If that had anything to do with her work for him, Dan needed to know. Was Luke making things difficult for Jess still?
Jess lit the candles on the cake.
‘You have to make a birthday wish before you blow out the candles, Daisy.’ Another of the little girls made this suggestion as they all crowded closer. ‘You can come to my house for my birthday, too. It’s in March.’
‘Thanks.’ Excitement dawned in Daisy’s eyes. ‘I’d love to do that.’
Daisy blew out her candles. She even closed her eyes first.
The wheel of a baby walker butted against Dan’s foot. He glanced down and straight into a pair of soft grey eyes so like Jess’s. Ella smiled up at him.
‘Well done, Daisy,’ Jess said.
Was Jess working very hard not to be aware of Dan, or was he imagining it? Dan needed to stop such thoughts whether they were right or not.
Jess went on. ‘Time to dish up this cake and see if it turned out as well as I hoped.’
Jess had baked and decorated the cake last night. She was dedicated to her job. She handled the basics of the housekeeping with apparent ease, too, and that had taken a load off for Dan.
It had made him wonder if he could have a housekeeper on a permanent basis. He’d been busy saving to move the family, and he probably hadn’t really wanted the interference anyway but with Jess…
Dan had enjoyed having her in the house. Especially on the days he’d worked from home.
Not good thoughts to have, Dan Frazier. She’s the daycare mum who has also generously helped out with housekeeping and cooking, and that’s all she should be to you.
‘Would you like the treasure hunt now, Daisy? Excuse me.’ Jess slipped past Dan to start supervising the activity. The hem of her skirt brushed against Dan’s leg. Dan looked at a piece of bright fabric against his denim cut-offs and he breathed in and caught the scent of her perfume warmed against her skin and wanted.
‘Ah, let me just give you some room.’ Dan shifted back, and Jess’s head dipped until all he could see was the fan of her lashes against her skin, and he knew Jess was just as aware of him as he was of her. If he kissed her, maybe he would be able to figure out why—
Dan’s mind froze as the thought registered.
Jess moved away and the party went on around them, but from that point on Dan couldn’t go anywhere near her without being conscious of her.
