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‘I asked you here to look after Tim. If you’ve put any other connotations on it then it’s your fault.’
Lucinda felt her skin burning. He really knew how to turn the knife. ‘At least we know where we stand,’ she declared fiercely. ‘I don’t think I want this drink. I’m going to bed.’
‘Lucinda!’
She turned halfway across the room and glared at him. She had never felt so humiliated in her whole life.
‘Don’t run away.’
‘I’m not running,’ she snapped. ‘I’m tired.’
‘Then relax here with me.’
‘It’s impossible.’
‘Is it?’ An eyebrow rose. ‘Or is it that you don’t like the way the conversation is going? We could change it. We could talk about the project. We could talk about Tim. We could talk about anything you like.’
Lucinda drew in a deep breath and struggled with her conscience. This whole uncomfortable issue was her fault and she didn’t want to be anywhere near Zane for the time being. She needed space; she needed to get her head round things. She needed to ask herself what the real reason was that she had come here today.
CHAPTER NINE (#ulink_8184d4b4-39e6-5825-b646-4d642462ad10)
DID you find your office?’
Lucinda looked at Zane across the breakfast table and frowned.
‘Yesterday, when you came,’ he enlarged. ‘Did you see it? Is there everything you need?’
‘I didn’t know that you’d already set up a room for me,’ she answered. ‘I was busy with Tim.’ And she didn’t really see how she could work at her job with a five-year-old to look after. Actually, she hadn’t thought it through very well at all. And the main reason being? She had wanted to see Zane! It was stupid; it was irrational and totally unlike her. And, after last night’s fiasco, she wished that she had never come.
She had lain awake most of the night berating herself for letting Zane get through to her, for even mentioning their affair. It had been stupid of her, irrational, and she felt all kinds of a fool.
Tim had come into her room early and snuggled down in bed with her and then she had washed and dressed him and given him his breakfast. At the moment he was helping in the kitchen. And later she had promised to take him to the hospital to see his beloved Nanna. How she had thought she could do her job as well as look after Zane’s nephew she had no idea. It was another case of her heart ruling her head.
‘Then I’ll show you afterwards,’ declared Zane. ‘Did you sleep well?’
She hadn’t stayed and talked when he’d asked her to; she had run away like a scared rabbit. ‘As well as could be expected in a strange house,’ she answered.
‘I’m afraid I’ll be away tonight but I’ll give you my mobile number in case there’s an emergency.’
Lucinda nodded but didn’t answer. The only thought that ran through her mind was—whose bed would he be sharing?
‘Lucinda, do you regret what happened between us?’
The question was unexpected and she looked at him with shocked eyes. ‘Didn’t I make myself clear yesterday? Of course I regret it. I’m only here because of Tim, so don’t dare go getting any other ideas. Have your flings with whomever you like, but don’t count me on your list of conquests.’
She missed the shadow that darkened his brow, heard only the harshness in his voice. ‘Well, I’m off, then.’ He threw a card down in front of her. ‘Here’s my number. Have a good day.’ At the door he turned. ‘If there’s anything else you need for your office ring my PA. He will see to it.’
He? Lucinda stared after Zane’s retreating back. He had a male assistant? Unbelievable! Men like him usually surrounded themselves with pretty women.
After breakfast, curious to find out what he had provided in the way of an office, Lucinda pushed open doors until she found the room. It had a desk in front of the window with very fine views over sweeping lawns, a tennis court and a corner of the swimming pool.
The massive desk held a computer, with a little note attached to it saying that Zane had had it networked with her system at the office. Thoughtful of him, she felt, but he had taken a liberty, one that she wasn’t sure she approved of.
On another table was a printer and scanner and copier. There was a stock of stationery and a couple of easy chairs as well as a very fine black leather executive chair. She tried it out for size, twisting around with her feet in the air. Perfect!
Zane had thought of everything.
At that moment Tim came running into the room and all thoughts of Zane were forgotten.
She let him swing on the chair while she phoned her secretary and then got someone to bring in a desk and chair for Tim out of his bedroom. He played there happily while she made a few phone calls and checked the correspondence that Amanda had scanned on to the computer for her.
She even managed to do some work on a new project before it was time to take Tim to the hospital. Perhaps the arrangement was going to work after all, she thought. Tim was a good child and, although she had no intention of keeping him cooped up in her office the whole time, he had proved that for short periods he was more than happy to sit with her.
Tim’s grandmother, Helen, didn’t look at all well. She was more than pleased to see Lucinda and her darling grandson—and he was delighted to see her, hugging her and hugging her as though he never wanted to let her go—but she was clearly exhausted after only a few minutes. ‘It’s my heart,’ she explained. ‘It’s giving up, I’m afraid.’
She was much older than Lucinda had expected, probably in her mid-seventies, and far too old to be looking after a child as young as Timothy. Lucinda couldn’t believe that Zane had let her do it. Surely the duty should have fallen on his shoulders?
But of course business always came first with Zane. That was why she had been totally surprised when he’d taken so much time off in St Lucia. And how disastrous the outcome of that had been! Lucinda returned to his house with her heart both heavy and angry.
After she had put Tim to bed that evening Lucinda went to her newly acquired office and worked until almost midnight. She needed the mental challenge to take her mind off Zane. It wasn’t easy. She kept seeing twinkling blue eyes and a sexy smile and her body remembered the way he had taken her to the top of the universe and back.
She really oughtn’t to think of him like this any more. It had been but a brief interlude and was not likely to be repeated. Not if she had anything to do with it. She wouldn’t put it past Zane to try while she was here, but forewarned was forearmed, wasn’t that what they said? And she certainly knew all there was to know about Zane Alexander.
The next day Tim wanted to go swimming. It was an almost Olympic-sized pool and Lucinda was nervous, but he told her that his uncle Zane took him swimming there. She had noticed yesterday that Zane had had a fence erected around the whole pool area, which had pleased her enormously, and now as they let themselves in she was startled when Tim ran over to the shallow end and jumped in.
She needn’t have feared. Even at five years old he could swim like a fish. ‘I used to swim with my daddy,’ he said matter-of-factly when Lucinda congratulated him on his prowess. ‘I miss my daddy.’
‘Of course you do,’ she said sympathetically, marvelling that he could remember so well.
‘And my mummy! Will they ever come back?’
Lucinda winced inside. ‘I’m afraid not, sweetie. But they’re up there watching you and thinking about you all the time. That’s why you must be good.’
‘I am good,’ he said importantly.
Lucinda hugged him. ‘You’re the best boy I know. And the best swimmer I know. Let’s have a race.’
After all his swimming Tim was tired out and once lunch was over Lucinda put him in bed. ‘I’m going to do some work in my office, sweetheart. If you wake up, come and find me.’
Tim nodded and yawned and in seconds he was asleep.
Lucinda had showered and changed into jeans and a knitted top and was so busy on her new computer that she didn’t hear Zane enter the room. She didn’t even know that he had come home. ‘You’re early,’ she said, looking round in surprise when he spoke her name.
‘I thought I owed you some of my time. Where’s Tim?’
‘In bed,’ announced Lucinda.
‘He’s not ill?’
She smiled. ‘We’ve been swimming. What a fantastic little swimmer he is. He wore himself out.’
‘So you’ve coped all right?’
Lucinda nodded. ‘We went to the hospital yesterday to see his grandmother.’
‘Ah.’ He dropped into one of the easy chairs. ‘I was going to take him there this afternoon. How was she?’
‘Not well at all,’ answered Lucinda crisply. ‘I can’t believe that you’ve let her take care of Tim all this time. She’s far too old. He’s such a handful; it’s not fair on her. No wonder her heart’s giving up.’
‘Is that what she told you?’
‘Not the Tim bit, but she did mention her heart. She can hardly get her breath.’ Lucinda was really fired up about the whole thing and her voice rose. ‘You should be the one looking after Tim, not his grandmother. Goodness, what were you thinking?’
‘I’m thinking I have a full-time job,’ he answered fiercely.
‘Nevertheless you could still have him living here with you,’ she slammed. ‘He starts back to school in September. Lots of one-parent families cope. Even working parents. They get help. You could have done that instead of putting all the pressure on Helen.’
‘Helen wanted to look after him,’ informed Zane, his brow thunderous now.
‘And you let her.’ Lucinda was really fired up now. ‘You didn’t stop to think that it might be too much for her. Oh, no, having Tim here would spoil your nights of passion with whichever woman is your current favourite. I despise you, Zane Alexander.’
Once the words were out Lucinda wished that she hadn’t uttered them. He’d gone to a lot of trouble to set things up for her here, and this was how she repaid him. Goodness, she wouldn’t blame him if he told her to go. Right now!
‘And how about our nights of passion?’ he asked with amazing calmness.
Actually he was too calm. It worried Lucinda.
‘How do you rate those? Were they sordid?’
Lucinda winced. They definitely hadn’t seemed it at the time. They had been beautiful and sensual and her heart had sung with sheer happiness. Even now, despite her reservations, she still looked on them with pleasure.
‘Of course they weren’t,’ he answered for her. ‘You’re letting your emotions run away with you, Lucinda. You know nothing about my private life.’
‘I know what I read in the glossies.’
‘And you believe it?’
‘And I know that you’ve done wrong by your brother.’
Zane closed his eyes and laced his fingers tightly together. ‘I sometimes think I could strangle you, Lucinda Oliver. And at other times—’ he opened his eyes and looked straight at her ‘—I want to take you to bed. In fact, I think that’s what I might do right now. A form of punishment, shall we say, for daring to turn on me.’ And, with that, he scooped her up into his arms.
Lucinda’s struggles were to no avail and, to be honest, she didn’t struggle too hard. Zane had made up his mind and that was that. He kicked open the door to his bedroom and she had a quick impression of masculine browns and beiges and a dark green carpet before he laid her down on the bed.
In a matter of seconds he had ripped off his clothes and then he did the same to her. She was utterly at his mercy, her eyes wide and shocked and appealing, but it made no difference. Zane wanted and Zane was going to take. And she, Lord help her, was powerless to do anything about it.
She could have left. While he was undressing she could have got off his bed and made for the door. So why hadn’t she? Because she wanted it as much as he did! She had lain there and watched as each inch of his flesh was exposed. It was so familiar to her, so incredibly powerful, that she hadn’t been able to move.
And this time when he made love to her there were no preliminaries. No long drawn out foreplay, no teasing, no enticing and encouraging. He held himself over her for just a second before he entered her, a second when his eyes were asking whether she wanted to run.
But by then Lucinda’s heart was racing and her hormones dancing and the very thought of him taking her like this held a very different kind of excitement. It wasn’t until he had entered her that she realised he was not using protection. On all other occasions he had, but this time he’d been in too much of a hurry.
It was too late now to worry about it and with a bit of luck it was the wrong time of her monthly cycle. There were much deeper issues to think about. Like the fact that she was still in love with him—despite everything! And the fact that his lovemaking was coming to a grand finale far too quickly!
She could feel her climax rising within her and she knew that Zane was nearing his own. She cried out as he collapsed on top of her, his breathing ragged, hers the same as sensation after exquisite sensation made her writhe beneath him, as her whole body throbbed and her throat went tight.
And then they were still.
For a long time they were still.
Until Zane slowly rolled away from her! Their eyes met and his no longer twinkled. They were filled with soul-destroying sadness instead.
Lucinda turned away; she couldn’t bear to look at him. She didn’t know why he was sad. Anger she could have understood—it was what had started this off, but sadness? Perhaps he wanted their affair to carry on but knew that it couldn’t? No, that wouldn’t make him sad. Zane was the sort of man who hopped from one girl to another without giving them a second thought.
She must have been mistaken because he sat up now and looked at her again and there was nothing to suggest sadness. ‘I had to do that, Lucinda.’
She nodded.
‘You could have stopped me.’
She nodded again.
‘Am I to take it then that you didn’t mind?’
How could she answer that? She did and she didn’t. She was crazy where this man was concerned. It didn’t matter what rational thoughts entered her head, they took off in all the wrong directions whenever he chose to take control.
He was very good at taking control. It was almost as though he hypnotised her into doing things against her will. He had the power to make her think that she wanted what he wanted. How could that be?
‘Lucinda?’
He touched a finger to her chin and forced her to look at him. ‘I asked whether you minded?’
Slowly she shook her head. ‘But I would like to go to my room.’ She got up off the bed and, hugging her clothes to her, headed for the door. He let her go. And, completely naked, she walked along the corridor to her own room. Where she threw herself down on the bed and cried.
Zane was shocked by how easily Lucinda had capitulated, and ashamed for forcing himself on her. He would have let her go if she had fought him off, but she hadn’t, and now he felt guilty. He didn’t feel the pleasure he normally associated with making love to Lucinda, and this was alien to him.
Out in St Lucia, each time they had made love it had been an experience to surpass all other experiences. They had both risen to great heights and no regrets had ever been felt. Now he felt a heel. He ought not to have done it. On the other hand, Lucinda could have stopped him. It was her fault as much as his.
He made himself think that as he showered and dressed and when he went downstairs Tim had woken and was demanding his attention. ‘Where’s Lucy?’ his nephew asked.
‘She’s resting,’ answered Zane. ‘I think you wore her out swimming.’
‘She says I’m good,’ said Tim proudly.
‘You are.’
‘Can I swim again, then?’
Zane shook his head. ‘Not today! I’m going to take you to see Nanna. Lucinda has work to do.’ He wasn’t sure about that but he did know that she would not welcome spending time with him. Which was a shame because that was the reason he had come home early.
