Light Freights

“‘I wish ‘e ‘ad,’ ses Bill, with a groan; ‘my face is bruised and cut about cruel. I can’t bear to touch it.’

“‘Do you mean to say the two of you couldn’t settle ‘im?’ ses Joe, staring.

“‘I mean to say we got a hiding,’ ses Bill. ‘We got close to him fust start off and got our feet trod on. Arter that it was like fighting a windmill, with sledge-hammers for sails.’

“He gave a groan and turned over in his bunk, and when we asked him some more about it, he swore at us. They both seemed quite done up, and at last they dropped off to sleep just as they was, without even stopping to wash the black off or to undress themselves.

“I was awoke rather early in the morning by the sounds of somebody talking to themselves, and a little splashing of water. It seemed to go on a long while, and at last I leaned out of my bunk and see Bill bending over a bucket and washing himself and using bad langwidge.

“‘Wot’s the matter, Bill?’ ses Joe, yawning and sitting up in bed.

“‘My skin’s that tender, I can hardly touch it,’ ses Bill, bending down and rinsing ‘is face. ‘Is it all orf?’

“‘Orf?’ ses Joe; ‘no, o’ course it ain’t. Why don’t you use some soap?’

“‘Soap,’ answers Bill, mad-like; ‘why, I’ve used more soap than I’ve used for six months in the ordinary way.’

“That’s no good,’ ses Joe; ‘give yourself a good wash.’

“Bill put down the soap then very careful, and went over to ‘im and told him all the dreadful things he’d do to him when he got strong agin, and then Bob Pullin got out of his bunk an’ ‘ad a try on his face. Him an’ Bill kept washing and then taking each other to the light and trying to believe it was coming off until they got sick of it, and then Bill, ‘e up with his foot and capsized the bucket, and walked up and down the fo’c’s’le raving.

“‘Well, the carpenter put it on,’ ses a voice, ‘make ‘im take it orf.’

“You wouldn’t believe the job we ‘ad to wake that man up. He wasn’t fairly woke till he was hauled out of ‘is bunk an’ set down opposite them two pore black fellers an’ told to make ‘em white again.

“‘I don’t believe as there’s anything will touch it,’ he says, at last. ‘I forgot all about that.’

“‘Do you mean to say,’ bawls Bill, ‘that we’ve got to be black all the rest of our life?’

“‘Cert’nly not,’ ses the carpenter, indignantly, ‘it’ll wear off in time; shaving every morning ‘ll ‘elp it, I should say.’

“‘I’ll get my razor now,’ ses Bill, in a awful voice; ‘don’t let ‘im go, Bob. I’ll ‘ack ‘is head orf.’

“He actually went off an’ got his razor, but, o’ course, we jumped out o’ our bunks and got between ‘em and told him plainly that it was not to be, and then we set ‘em down and tried everything we could think of, from butter and linseed oil to cold tea-leaves used as a poultice, and all it did was to make ‘em shinier an’ shinier.

“‘It’s no good, I tell you,’ ses the carpenter, ‘it’s the most lasting black I know. If I told you how much that stuff is a can, you wouldn’t believe me.’

“‘Well, you’re in it,’ ses Bill, his voice all of a tremble; ‘you done it so as we could knock the mate about. Whatever’s done to us’ll be done to you too.’

“‘I don’t think turps’ll touch it,’ ses the carpenter, getting up, ‘but we’ll ‘ave a try.’

“He went and fetched the can and poured some out on a bit o’ rag and told Bill to dab his face with it. Bill give a dab, and the next moment he rushed over with a scream and buried his head in a shirt what Simmons was wearing at the time and began to wipe his face with it. Then he left the flustered Simmons an’ shoved another chap away from the bucket and buried his face in it and kicked and carried on like a madman. Then ‘e jumped into his bunk again and buried ‘is face in the clothes and rocked hisself and moaned as if he was dying.

“‘Don’t you use it, Bob,’ he ses, at last

“‘’Tain’t likely,’ ses Bob. ‘It’s a good thing you tried it fust, Bill.’

“‘’Ave they tried holy-stone?’ ses a voice from a bunk.

“‘No, they ain’t,’ ses Bob, snappishly, ‘and, what’s more, they ain’t goin’ to.’

“Both o’ their tempers was so bad that we let the subject drop while we was at breakfast. The orkard persition of affairs could no longer be disregarded. Fust one chap threw out a ‘int and then another, gradually getting a little stronger and stronger, until Bill turned round in a uncomfortable way and requested of us to leave off talking with our mouths full and speak up like Englishmen wot we meant.

“‘You see, it’s this way, Bill,’ ses Joe, soft-like. ‘As soon as the mate sees you there’ll be trouble for all of us.’

“‘For all of us,’ repeats Bill, nodding.

“‘Whereas,’ ses Joe, looking round for support, ‘if we gets up a little collection for you and you should find it convenient to desart.’

“‘’Ear, ‘ear,’ ses a lot o’ voices. ‘Bravo, Joe.’

“‘Oh, desart is it?’ ses Bill; ‘an’ where are we goin’ to desart to?’

“‘Well, that we leave to you,’ ses Joe; ‘there’s many a ship short-’anded as would be glad to pick up sich a couple of prime sailor-men as you an’ Bob.’

“‘Ah, an’ wot about our black faces?’ ses Bill, still in the same sneering, ungrateful sort o’ voice.

“‘That can be got over,’ ses Joe.

“‘Ow?’ ses Bill and Bob together.

“‘Ship as nigger cooks,’ ses Joe, slapping his knee and looking round triumphant.

“It’s no good trying to do some people a kindness. Joe was perfectly sincere, and nobody could say but wot it wasn’t a good idea, but o’ course Mr. Bill Cousins must consider hisself insulted, and I can only suppose that the trouble he’d gone through ‘ad affected his brain. Likewise Bob Pullin’s. Anyway, that’s the only excuse I can make for ‘em. To cut a long story short, nobody ‘ad any more breakfast, and no time to do anything until them two men was scrouged up in a corner an’ ‘eld there unable to move.

“‘I’d never ‘ave done ‘em,’ ses the carpenter, arter it was all over, ‘if I’d know they was goin’ to carry on like this. They wanted to be done.’

“The mate’ll half murder ‘em,’ ses Ted Hill.

“‘He’ll ‘ave ‘em sent to gaol, that’s wot he’ll do,’ ses Smith. ‘It’s a serious matter to go ashore and commit assault and battery on the mate.’

“‘You’re all in it,’ ses the voice o’ Bill from the floor. ‘I’m going to make a clean breast of it. Joe Smith put us up to it, the carpenter blacked us, and the others encouraged us.’

“‘Joe got the clothes for us,’ ses Bob. ‘I know the place he got ‘em from, too.’

“The ingratitude o’ these two men was sich that at first we decided to have no more to do with them, but better feelings prevailed, and we held a sort o’ meeting to consider what was best to be done. An’ everything that was suggested one o’ them two voices from the floor found fault with and wouldn’t ‘ave, and at last we ‘ad to go up on deck with nothing decided upon, except to swear ‘ard and fast as we knew nothing about it.

“The only advice we can give you,’ ses Joe, looking back at ‘em, ‘is to stay down ‘ere as long as you can.’

“A’most the fust person we see on deck was the mate, an’ a pretty sight he was. He’d got a bandage round ‘is left eye, and a black ring round the other. His nose was swelled and his lip cut, but the other officers were making sich a fuss over ‘im, that I think he rather gloried in it than otherwise.

“‘Where’s them other two ‘ands?’ he ses, by and by, glaring out of ‘is black eye.

“‘Down below, sir, I b’lieve,’ ses the carpenter, all of a tremble.

“‘Go an’ send ‘em up,’ ses the mate to Smith.

“‘Yessir,’ ses Joe, without moving.

“‘Well, go on then,’ roars the mate.

“‘They ain’t over and above well, sir, this morning,’ ses Joe.

“‘Send ‘em up, confound you,’ ses the mate, limping towards ‘im.

“Well, Joe give ‘is shoulders a ‘elpless sort o’ shrug and walked forward and bawled down the fo’c’s’le.

“‘They’re coming, sir,’ he ses, walking bade to the mate just as the skipper came out of ‘is cabin.

“We all went on with our work as ‘ard as we knew ‘ow. The skipper was talking to the mate about ‘is injuries, and saying unkind things about Germans, when he give a sort of a shout and staggered back staring. We just looked round, and there was them two blackamoors coming slowly towards us.

“‘Good heavens, Mr. Fingall,’ ses the old man. ‘What’s this?’

“I never see sich a look on any man’s face as I saw on the mate’s then. Three times ‘e opened ‘is mouth to speak, and shut it agin without saying anything. The veins on ‘is forehead swelled up tremendous and ‘is cheeks was all blown out purple.

“That’s Bill Cousins’s hair,’ ses the skipper to himself. ‘It’s Bill Cousins’s hair. It’s Bill Cous—’

“Bob walked up to him, with Bill lagging a little way behind, and then he stops just in front of ‘im and fetches up a sort o’ little smile.

“‘Don’t you make those faces at me, sir?’ roars the skipper. ‘What do you mean by it? What have you been doing to yourselves?’

“‘Nothin’, sir,’ ses Bill, ‘umbly; ‘it was done to us.’

“The carpenter, who was just going to cooper up a cask which ‘ad started a bit, shook like a leaf, and gave Bill a look that would ha’ melted a stone.

“‘Who did it?’ ses the skipper.

“‘We’ve been the wictims of a cruel outrage, sir,’ ses Bill, doing all ‘e could to avoid the mate’s eye, which wouldn’t be avoided.

“‘So I should think,’ ses the skipper. ‘You’ve been knocked about, too.’

“‘Yessir,’ ses Bill, very respectful; ‘me and Bob was ashore last night, sir, just for a quiet look round, when we was set on to by five furriners.’

“‘What?’ ses the skipper; and I won’t repeat what the mate said.

“‘We fought ‘em as long as we could, sir,’ ses Bill, ‘then we was both knocked senseless, and when we came to ourselves we was messed up like this ‘ere.’

“What sort o’ men were they?’ asked the skipper, getting excited.

“‘Sailor-men, sir,’ ses Bob, putting in his spoke. ‘Dutchies or Germans, or something o’ that sort.’

“‘Was there one tall man, with a fair beard,’ ses the skipper, getting more and more excited.

“‘Yessir,’ ses Bill, in a surprised sort o’ voice.

“‘Same gang,’ ses the skipper. ‘Same gang as knocked Mr. Fingall about, you may depend upon it. Mr. Fingall, it’s a mercy for you you didn’t get your face blacked too.’

“I thought the mate would ha’ burst. I can’t understand how any man could swell as he swelled without bursting.

“‘I don’t believe a word of it,’ he ses, at last.

“‘Why not?’ ses the skipper, sharply.

“‘Well, I don’t,’ ses the mate, his voice trembling with passion. ‘I ‘ave my reasons.’

“‘I s’pose you don’t think these two poor fellows went and blacked themselves for fun, do you?’ ses the skipper.

“The mate couldn’t answer.

“‘And then went and knocked themselves about for more fun?’ ses the skipper, very sarcastic.

“The mate didn’t answer. He looked round helpless like, and see the third officer swopping glances with the second, and all the men looking sly and amused, and I think if ever a man saw ‘e was done ‘e did at that moment.

“He turned away and went below, and the skipper arter reading us all a little lecture on getting into fights without reason, sent the two chaps below agin and told ‘em to turn in and rest. He was so good to ‘em all the way ‘ome, and took sich a interest in seeing ‘em change from black to brown and from light brown to spotted lemon, that the mate daren’t do nothing to them, but gave us their share of what he owed them, as well as an extra dose of our own.”