The Way We Wed

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“Oh, save me,” Justin said, laughing. He saw the stew was hot enough and was the first to ladle a healthy portion onto his plate. “Man, you guys don’t know how great this smells. Three weeks up here alone with cows, eating dried fruit, beans and jerky, and you begin to fantasize. Not about women, about a big steak with all the trimmings.”

“He’s been up here too long,” Jim commented and everyone laughed.

Listening to the ebb and flow of conversation, Jeff sat on the edge of the circle. He wasn’t one of the cowhands and as someone still fairly inactive in SPEAR even though he was a part of the team, he felt like he didn’t quite belong to either group. It had often been like that for him; growing up in a household where drunken behavior was the norm, he hadn’t felt as if he belonged to a real family unit. All he’d dreamed about was escaping. Which he had as soon as he’d been old enough.

Living on the streets, he never felt safe, either, never confided in others, never made friends because getting close to someone was inviting trouble. Runaways could turn on you for a slice of bread when they were starving, or a dollar when they needed cheap wine or a fix. He’d never been part of a real family, or a group of like individuals until East had taken him home. Even after that, it had taken Jeff months, years to trust, to relax, to feel safe with anyone except East.

Now, here with his fellow agents and experienced men who worked the herd at Red Rock, he felt a kinship, but still he didn’t feel as if he were a part of either specialized group. Listening to the way the men joked with one another with Tanya joining in, Jeff wondered if he would ever belong.

Finishing his plate, he glanced at Tish and saw that she, too, seemed on the perimeter of the group, observing and listening but seldom joining in. He wondered if their apartness was something they had in common, or if he was reading something into her behavior that wasn’t there. Maybe she was just shy or perhaps self-conscious because he was there and last night they’d shared a couple of powerful kisses. For him, a life-altering happening. But for her, had it been just one of those things?

He needed to find out, which was one reason he’d followed her up into the red rock high country.

Everyone helped to tidy up, no chauvinism here. After all, the women helped with the cattle so it was only fitting that the men help with food preparation and clean up. There was no pampering on ranches or with ranch chores.

After dinner, Justin talked Pete and John into a card game. Jim joined them while Tanya walked downstream to bathe, though she stayed within sight of the campfire. Tish sat near the fire, gazing off into space, seemingly lost in thought. Jeff was feeling pensive and perhaps a little embarrassed about racing up the mountain after a woman. Especially since that woman had probably left in the first place because she needed some space, some time to think about this sudden overpowering attraction.

So he lit one of the small cigars he rarely smoked and wandered upstream in the opposite direction from where Tanya went. If Tish needed to be alone, he’d let her be.

There was a moon out, not quite full but lending a good deal of light that reflected on the shimmering water as he walked. The small stream gurgled and dribbled over rocks small and large, the sound pleasant and appealing. Thinking of his hospital work in California and even East’s place on Condor Mountain, this red rock country was like being in another world. One that was peaceful, where the needs of animals superseded those of man. Mindful of the possibility of wild animals in the area, he knew it was also a dangerous place, but he didn’t feel threatened. In fact, he felt safe.

Maybe feeling safe had more to do with the people a person was with rather than the environment, Jeff decided.

He drew on the slim cigar, enjoying the pungent taste in his mouth. Reaching a fairly smooth rock, he sat down facing the stream and gazed up at the stars. He supposed there were just as many stars in the night sky over a busy metropolitan city as there were out here, yet there seemed more in the wilderness. An illusion probably.

He’d always thought that once he finished working for SPEAR, he’d like to settle near the sea. Yet this mountainous region held almost as much appeal. Perhaps he could find a place that offered both. Provided he lived to see that day.

Jeff wasn’t a melodramatic man or a pessimist. He was just a realist. Someone aware of the danger yet knowing that a man had to do what he had to do in order to look at himself each morning in his shaving mirror and not be disgusted with what he saw.

“A dollar for your thoughts,” a soft voice behind him said. When Jeff turned, he saw Tish and smiled. “I figure a penny, with inflation, should be at least a dollar by now.”

He moved over, making room for her on the rock. “My thoughts are kind of scattered tonight. How about yours?”

She sat down, her hip grazing his out of necessity since the space was limited. “I’m just taking in the beauty of nature out here. When you spend most of your life in an urban setting, you don’t realize how peaceful, how quiet and lovely a desolate area like this can be.”

The mooing of a cow broke into their thoughts just then as the scent of the big animals drifted upstream. “I’ve never seen so many cattle at one time in my entire life,” Tish commented. She’d walked out among them for a while after they’d first arrived. “Some of them have such sweet faces. I’ll never look at a hamburger the same again.”

He smiled at her. “I hear they make lousy house pets.”

“Oh, silly, I didn’t mean that. But they have such sad eyes.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever visited the Chicago slaughter houses.”

“No! And I don’t ever want to.”

“Still, you’re not a vegetarian?” He’d seen her eat her fair share of the beef stew tonight.

“No, I’m a head-in-the-sand carnivore who doesn’t want to think about those poor animals losing their lives so we can enjoy a meal.”

Jeff shrugged. “Survival of the fittest.” He glanced up toward an outcropping of rocks. “Take the mountain lion. He harbors no such thoughts. He’d pounce down on us, we’d be dinner for him and he wouldn’t give his conscience a second thought.”

Nervously, she glanced over her shoulder. “There really are mountain lions up here?”

“Could be. This is their territory and man is invading it. I suppose that’s why he feels its his right to devour us if the opportunity presents itself.” Jeff dropped his cigar and ground it out with his booted foot.

Tish got up. “Maybe we should go back with the others closer to the fire.”

He took her hand, pulled her effortlessly onto his lap, which had been his motive in bringing up the mountain lion in the first place. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”

In the pale moonlight, she studied his face. “Safe is a relative term.”

“Yes, well, I won’t devour you, but I might nibble a little around the edges.” And he bent to do just that along the silken line of her throat. He felt a shiver take her and wondered if it was from the chilly night air or his ministrations. “Mmm, you taste almost as good as you smell.”

She was silent, but she shifted slightly to give him better access.

Emboldened by the fact that she’d sought him out while the others were occupied, he nuzzled more, then with two fingers on her chin, he turned her face toward his and captured her mouth. The kiss was light, gentle, yet arousing. Her lips played with his, teasing, tempting. Her tongue darted into his mouth, then withdrew playfully. Jeff wasn’t certain how much more of this he could easily handle with her snug on his lap.

Needing to distract himself, he eased back and ran his fingers through her hair as it curled around her ear. “You have beautiful hair, did you know that?”

Tish frowned. “No. It’s just brown hair. Nothing special.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’d always thought people with brown hair got short shrift, too. Blondes are described in all manner of flattering terms, fussed over and envied. Those with black hair are described as ebony or jet or raven. But brown hair, I thought, was just, well, brown.”