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“No, Tish, you wait.” He leaned down, his face inches from hers. “When I kissed you just now, when you kissed me back, tell me honestly how you felt, and remember, Domino’s listening.”
Her features changed, lightened, as she remembered and a gentle blush warmed her face. “Honestly?” She looked hesitant, then apparently decided to tell him the truth. “I felt like the top of my head was going to take off, like I was walking into a hot, white flame, like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
Jeff smiled. “So did I, and that’s something neither of us can fake. That’s all we need to know, how we feel now. The future will work out somehow. Let’s try friendship, companionship, doing fun things together. And let’s stop worrying so much.” He bent his head, needing to kiss her again, but her hand on his chest held him at bay.
“You’re going way too fast for me. We’ve just met and—”
“And we just kissed,” he said, interrupting her protests. “And nothing, nothing will ever be the same again. For either of us.”
She released an exasperated sigh. “You’re an incurable romantic, I see. Life isn’t that simple. We don’t all live happily ever after because we’re attracted to someone. I should know. I vowed two years ago that I’d never buy into that impossible dream again. Apparently you haven’t had to face life’s harsher realities yet.”
It wasn’t the way he’d intended to tell her, if at all. His difficult youth and more recent ordeal were, in fact, things he rarely mentioned. But apparently she thought he was the fair-haired prince born with a silver spoon who’d led a charmed life. He had to let her know.
“I suppose you’re right,” he said, stepping back. “I probably haven’t had too many harsh realities. Unless you’d call being born to two alcoholics who did me a big favor by abandoning me at age ten, although living on the streets for four years wasn’t exactly a day at the beach. Then there was a more recent incident where a couple of Simon’s men kidnapped me, buried me alive and left me to die there. Other than that, my life’s been a breeze.”
The shocked look on her face made him wish he hadn’t been quite so flip. But he wanted her to stop thinking of him as some pampered, privileged person.
“Oh, God, Jeff. Abandoned. Buried alive. I had no idea.”
“And I didn’t want to bring it up, but I need you to realize that we all have stuff in our past that makes us who we are. I’m well aware life isn’t simple and that we can’t all live happily ever after. But when someone comes along who touches us, I think it’s a mistake not to pursue that. Do you see where I’m coming from?”
She looked as if she wanted to ask more questions, but then seemed to decide now wasn’t the time. “Yes, I do.”
He shifted her closer back into his arms. “Good because you can run from me, but you can’t hide.”
Finally, her smile was genuine. “I don’t want to run or hide from you. But I would like to ask you something.”
“Anything,” he said and meant it.
“Would you kiss me like that again?”
“Oh, lady,” Jeff murmured as he lowered his mouth to hers.
They hung around the horse barn a while longer, lingering over kisses that set their blood heating. Only the night clerk was awake downstairs when they’d finally made their way into the main building, the lights on low. His arm around her shoulders, Jeff walked Tish to her room, where they both paused in the dim hallway.
“I don’t want to let you go,” Jeff whispered, his hands on her waist, his lips nuzzling her neck.
Tish seemed to be struggling, wanting to be with him yet feeling she shouldn’t begin something she couldn’t finish. “Me, either,” she finally admitted.
He eased back and studied her fine features now that his eyes had adjusted to the near darkness. “You seem afraid. Why?”
“Because I’m getting in too deep too quickly, something I promised myself I’d never do again.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Maybe if she told him about the person who’d hurt her, she’d feel better. They could go into her room, talk in the sitting area, though it might tax his resolve to not touch her.
“No,” she said quickly. Then more softly, “No. Maybe one day, but not now.” She raised a hand to touch his hair, then trailed her fingertips along his cheeks and chin. Leaning back, her gaze stayed on his face. “You have the most incredible green eyes. It’s the first thing I noticed about you.”
“Not my manly physique?”
She smiled. “That’s not bad, either, but, no, your eyes. They’re such a vibrant shade in the daylight, then they turn to emerald at night. I admit that I’m jealous.”
“You needn’t be. Your eyes could be any color and still be beautiful.”
Her expression turned shy. “I wasn’t fishing.”
“I know. Still, I have to tell you, it wasn’t your eyes I noticed first.”
Suddenly wary, she looked up. “All right, tell me what.”
“The way you rode that mare, like the two of you were one. You impressed me and everyone else watching. Where’d you learn to ride like that?” It seemed to Jeff that a shadow crossed over her features, then was gone just as quickly.
“Upstate New York where I was raised. My family belonged to a country club and a hunt club. By the time I was ten, I was competing.”
“Ah, the blue bloods. I suppose you went to Ivy League schools. Must be nice, dear old Dad having tons of money.” This time he couldn’t mistake the frosty look that she struggled to hide.
She turned within his arms, dug out her key and unlocked her door. “I should say good night.”
He’d hit a nerve, Jeff decided. Something else to delve into another day. The past clings to all of us, he knew.
“Not without a good-night kiss,” he said, turning her back, placing her arms on his shoulders and taking her mouth.
If her mouth had cooled, it took but moments for it to heat up again beneath his seeking lips. Jeff molded her small frame to his with his big hands at her back. He felt his senses surge at the feel of that soft female body against his. He wanted nothing more than to shove open her door, follow her inside and slowly strip off all her clothes before moving to her big double bed.
But alas, SPEAR frowned on its agents cohabiting openly. So, although it cost him, he reluctantly stepped back. “See you tomorrow?” he asked, his voice husky.
She nodded vaguely and drifted inside.
Jeff heard the lock click, then turned to enter his own room across the hall. An ice-cold shower might be in order, he decided.
Chapter 3
Jeff awoke with a start, surprised he’d fallen asleep at all. Feeling stiff, he unfastened his seat belt and got up, glancing around the first-class section of the plane. The lights were on dim and the other five passengers all appeared to be in dreamland. The man across the aisle was still snoring, but not as loudly. A mother and daughter in the last row were cuddled together, snoozing. And a young couple who appeared to be newlyweds snuggled under a blanket, the woman’s head on her companion’s shoulder.
Stretching his cramped muscles, Jeff’s gaze stayed on the young couple, envying their togetherness. He and Tish had had so little time together to just be with one another. So many things had interfered—his hospital duties, SPEAR obligations, everyday things that kept them apart. Small wonder their relationship had been rocky.
Walking to the front, Jeff nodded to the flight attendant and went into the small compact lavatory. He splashed cold water on his face then dried off with a paper towel. He debated about shaving, then decided that could wait. Checking his watch, he saw they had two more hours left before landing. Impatience ate at him, but there was nothing he could do to hurry things along.
Resuming his seat, he glanced out the window and saw it was still dark out. A man of action, he’d always hated waiting. Not knowing how Tish was doing added to his unease. He picked up the phone to call the hospital again, then tucked it away, deciding that he didn’t want to irritate the staff by calling too frequently.
Finally settling back, he let his mind roam, remembering those early weeks with Tish, hoping the memory of their good times would sustain him during this time of uncertainty….
From that first kiss in the barn that summer evening at the Red Rock Ranch, Jeff had known Tish was the woman for him. He didn’t know how he knew; he simply did. Not a day since had he questioned that fact. He’d simply accepted it. She was the one.
But he’d known better than to let her see the depth of his feelings. She was skittish, wary, cautious in everything she said to him, in her reactions to him. He’d have to go slowly, he told himself. But the need to make her his had burned within him, coloring every aspect of their budding relationship. It had taken all of his control to rein in his needs and put hers first.
The morning after their first kiss in the barn, he awakened early. He was anxious for the day to begin, so he could see her, touch her, talk with her. Only when he’d gone down to breakfast, even though it was not yet seven, Slim was the only one in the dining room.
Sipping his coffee, Jeff sat down. “Where is everyone this morning?” he asked, trying to be casual.
“They left early, a couple of our agents going with a few hands to round up strays that wandered away from the herd. I spotted several from the plane yesterday when I went up, so I asked for volunteers.” Slim dipped the last of his toast into the remaining egg yolk and popped it into his mouth.
Jeff thought that over, kicking himself mentally for not rising earlier. “Who were the agents?” he asked, fully expecting Tish to be among them. Something had been mentioned about the ride last night at dinner, but he hadn’t paid much attention.
“Mmm, let’s see. John and Tanya are the only agents. Oh, and Tish. They were going with Derek, Jim and Pete, the cowhands familiar with that range. Kind of a rugged area.” Slim used his napkin to wipe along the edges of his mustache.
Why hadn’t Tish mentioned this trip to him last night? Jeff wondered. Had she decided they needed a little distance after their heated encounter? Or had the trip slipped her mind? She might also have gone on impulse. He drank more coffee, studying Slim and wondering how to find out what he wanted to know without arousing too much suspicion.
“Just for the day, you mean?” Jeff asked.
Slim finished his coffee before answering. “Three or four days, I’d imagine. It would take six or seven hours of riding just to reach the winter range.” His weathered brow furrowed as he looked at Jeff. “Why do you want to know?”
He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “Just curious. Not much going on here.” He glanced out the window, saw it was a sunny day, though probably cool. “Too nice to stay indoors, eh?”
Behind his hand cupping his mouth, Slim grinned. “I can tell you how to get where they’re going. If you’re interested, that is.”
Jeff tried to look as if the idea had just occurred to him. “Well, if you think they’ll need another hand.”
“Couldn’t hurt. You can carry a message to Justin. He’s the cowboy who’s been up there three weeks now. I just got a call from his wife and you can tell him her checkup went well, baby’s fine and definitely not due for another three weeks. He’ll be relieved next week and home in plenty of time for the birthing.”
Jeff knew that only one cowhand was assigned to keep watch on the herd in the mountainous region and that the men took turns on a rotating basis, usually four weeks at a time. “Will do.” Delivering the message would give him an excuse for showing up.
Slim took a small notebook out of his pocket and began drawing a map with a stubby pencil. “Good. I know he’s worried about that baby. It’s his first.” Slim labeled several trails. “This is the route to the winter pasture. Won’t be long and we’ll be herding them back down here. Another couple weeks. You’ll recall the passage once you start out ’cause landmarks haven’t changed all that much since you spent time here.” He tore out the sheet and handed it to Jeff. “Go get her, son.”
He should have known he couldn’t hide anything from Slim. Looking sheepish, Jeff took the map and stuffed it in his shirt pocket.
“Stop in the kitchen and have Elsa fix you up some food. And be sure to take your bedroll and a blanket. Gets mighty cold up there at night.”
“Thanks again, Slim.”
The way to the winter range was scenic at the beginning, Jeff thought as he rode Domino along the riverbed through desert country with plenty of browse and grass. But the way soon became treacherous with the trail narrowing to a path only a surefooted horse could follow. Domino was that kind of stallion, having lived all his life on Red Rock so he was familiar with every trail, bramble and bush.
Riding him, Jeff felt secure that the horse knew the way even if he hadn’t had Slim’s map. He hurried the big stallion as best he could on the rugged terrain, well aware that the others had a two-hour head start on him. Then again, they probably hadn’t been hard riding since there was no rush to reach the high country. The hands might even have taken off ahead, letting the three agents follow at their leisure. At least, Jeff hoped that was the case so he could catch up with them more easily.
Leaving the creek bed, he saw fresh mountain lion tracks and hoped the big cat was off somewhere sleeping since they did most of their prowling at night. Nevertheless, his rifle was securely in place by his saddlebags. The sky was a deep blue with hardly a cloud visible and there was a nip to the morning air. The temperature had been about fifty at the ranch but had cooled as he climbed.
On open land at last, he urged Domino to speed up as he passed a butte with a huge pile of rocks on top. Red rocks which gave the area and the ranch its name, the soil rich with minerals. The wind had picked up and had Jeff securing his hat on his head. He stopped after another hour to let the stallion have a drink from a creek and to rest a bit while he chewed on some beef jerky, having missed breakfast in his haste to get going. Perhaps it was his imagination, but Jeff could swear he heard the muted bawling of calves not far ahead, the sound carried on the wind. He drank some water, then reined the big horse around and set off again.
They rode another hour, Jeff pacing the stallion so as not to wear him out too soon. Finally, Domino snorted and bobbed his big head as he sniffed the air.
“What do you smell, boy?” Jeff asked, stroking his long neck. “I’ll bet there are mares up ahead.” With his knees, he urged Domino on.
Another half an hour and the whinny of horses could be heard clearly, for the mares had picked up the stallion’s scent. The gentle mooing of cattle drifted to Jeff as well. Even though he’d been climbing steadily, the sun had warmed the temperature to near sixty, he estimated. Checking Slim’s map, he saw that he was close.
A few minutes later, he rounded a bend and saw three horses tethered to a juniper tree that provided spotty shade for the agents sprawled beneath having their lunch. John Winters was the first to look up.
“Hey, Jeff. I didn’t know you were joining us.” Seated on the ground alongside his hat, John squinted up as Jeff swung down off Domino.
“Last minute decision,” Jeff said, walking Domino over to a second tree upwind from the mares and tying him to a strong limb.
Walking toward the three of them, he greeted Tanya and then looked over at Tish. She was studying him, trying to figure out his real motive in following them here, he was certain. He sat down opposite her and took an apple out of his jacket pocket. “Slim wanted me to deliver a message to Justin about his wife.”
“Mmm-hmm,” John said, a knowing grin on his face. He gathered their trash and moved toward his horse, stuffing crumpled paper into his saddlebag. “We’re about ready to head out. You need to rest awhile?” he asked Jeff.
Chewing on his apple, Jeff shook his head. “No, I’m all set.” He watched Tanya stroll over to her mare before turning to Tish. “How are you this morning?”
“Why are you here?” she asked so softly he had to bend closer to catch her words. “And don’t give me that nonsense about a message for Justin.”
Feigning indignation, Jeff gave her a wide-eyed stare. “Why else?”
Her shrewd dark eyes stayed on his. “You’re not as innocent as you pretend. I think you have ulterior motives, a hidden agenda.”
He splayed a hand over his heart. “You wound me.” But his eyes danced mischievously.
Shaking her head, she rose. “You’re too much, Jeff Kirby.”
He was up and beside her in the next heartbeat. “Would you believe the truth,” he whispered, “that four or five days without you around was more than I could handle?”
Stepping back, she again shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“You’re a hard sell, Tish Buckner,” he commented.
“You have no idea how hard,” she answered, then turned to walk toward Belladonna.
Untying Domino, Jeff smiled to himself. And she had no idea how persistent he could be.
By the time they got to the winter grazing pasture where the cowboys had made camp, the sun was low in the sky. Pete and Derek had already found and rescued a calf stuck in a narrow canyon but Jim wasn’t back yet from scouring the area. The new arrivals took care of their horses first before asking the seasoned hands what they could do to help.
“We’ll split up tomorrow morning,” Pete said, taking charge as the most experienced, “two by two, each taking a section and roping any lost calves or cows, bringing them back to the herd. Justin’s down the canyon aways, heading here. If someone would like to get dinner going, I’m sure Justin would appreciate something other than jerky and beans.”
Derek studied the sky. “I don’t think we have to pitch tents tonight. Doesn’t look like we’ll have rain anytime soon.” He angled his chin toward a grassy shaded area. “You can set your bedrolls over there.”
They all worked well together, and in no time, they had wood gathered and a fire going. Jeff positioned the big black pot over the simmering blaze as the two women spooned in precooked stew that Elsa had packed for them. Tanya dug out tin plates and utensils while Tish cut thick slices of fresh brown bread that was one of Elsa’s specialties.
If Tish noticed that Jeff spread his bedroll next to hers, she didn’t let on. Soon Jim returned from his search-and-rescue effort empty-handed and Justin arrived from doing a perimeter check, glad for the company. And pleased to meet Jeff who’d just informed him that his wife was doing well.
“Thanks,” he said, his perpetually sunburned face creasing in a smile. His fair skin and blond head didn’t fare well with constant exposure to the sun, even wearing a wide-brimmed hat.
“Did your wife have an ultrasound?” Jeff asked as they all sat down around the campfire. “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”
“Nah, she didn’t want to. Me, I’d like to know, but Marianne said it’s more fun if you’re surprised.” Justin tossed his cigarette butt into the fire. “Really though, I don’t care as long as the baby’s healthy and Marianne’s okay.”
“Medicine’s come a long way,” Jeff pointed out. “Problems in childbirth are less common these days.”
“Good, because I’d like to have lots more. Maybe four more. Five sons, my own basketball team.” He grinned. “I haven’t mentioned this to Marianne yet.”
“You might want to hold off on that,” Tanya told him, “at least until she’s recovered from this first one.”
“Ah, but what if you have five girls?” Tish teased him. “Five prom dresses, five weddings to put on.”
