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“What?”
“The crib stayed in my room and I got up with her during the night. I changed her diapers. I fed her and took her with me when I went out on the ranch.”
“Why would you do that when your mother was there?”
“Because she wasn’t my mother’s responsibility. She was mine and yours. Since you bailed, there was only me and I wanted to make sure she knew she had one parent who loved her and would always be there for her.”
A moan left her throat and she was unable to stop it. Falcon was never going to understand, and she didn’t know if she had the strength to keep trying to explain.
“Her doctor sent us to a specialist in Austin to find out why she cried so much and after many tests, they found out she had something as simple as acid reflux. With medication, she did much better and was soon able to sleep during the night. But it was rough for a while. The only way she could sleep was on my chest. I was so afraid I was going to roll over and crush her, so I slept lightly and didn’t get much rest. But we got through it. It’s a shame her mother wasn’t there when she took her first step holding on to my finger or when she started running instead of walking, chasing me out the door. She never wanted me out of her sight. I wonder why that was, Leah? Could it be she knew at that early age her mother had abandoned her?”
“Don’t say that.”
He stared at her and she felt as if he was looking right into her soul. If he was, he could see all the scars, all the pain and all the sorrow. But there was no sympathy on his face. She didn’t believe for one minute that this meeting would be easy and she wouldn’t let his words discourage her from seeing her daughter.
“Does the truth hurt?”
Her eyes met his. “Yes, it does. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’ve been hurting for a long time.”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. I want you out of Horseshoe just as soon as possible.” He swung toward his truck.
“I want a divorce.”
He swung back, his eyes dark and disturbing. She took a step backward.
“That’s the real reason you came back, isn’t it? You’ve found someone and want to remarry.”
“It’s just time to end our marriage.”
He took several steps toward her and she had to force herself not to take another step away from him. “Here’s another saying, Leah, ‘when hell freezes over.’ That’s when I’ll give you a divorce to marry someone else. You have put me through hell and I’m not going to make life easier for you now. So go back to wherever you found what you were searching for. God only knows what that was. I gave you my heart and it wasn’t enough. So if you’re looking for forgiveness, you’re asking the wrong man. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to us.”
She swallowed the sob in her throat. “Could we talk about that time?”
“The time for talk is over. I really don’t want to hear your excuses. Nothing can excuse what you did to a three-month-old little girl who needed her mother.”
“Falcon...”
“You know how many nights I lay awake with Eden on my chest, waiting for the phone to ring, waiting to hear from her mother, waiting for her to let us know she was okay? The call never came until today, when her mother wants something. How selfish is that? Have a good life, Leah. You will never be free of me.” He strolled off to his truck, his back rigid, his stride rapid and determined to carry him as far away from her as possible.
Leah sank onto the bench because her shaky legs would no longer hold her. She tried to breathe, tried to think and desperately tried not to pass out. She focused on the water spewing up from the pavement. Splat. Splat. Splat. Calming. Soothing. The dizziness eased and she sucked in a deep breath, praying she would never show this weakness in front of Falcon. He said it was over. It wasn’t. She wasn’t leaving Horseshoe until she saw her daughter. Falcon may intimidate her, but he would not break her.
Her rights as a mother had been severed with her callous actions, but her rights as a woman—someone who had learned and grown and fought for a life—would never be severed. Not until she drew her last breath.
* * *
FALCON WAS SO angry his breaths came in gulps. He pressed his foot down on the accelerator and broke the speed limit all the way to the ranch. At the barn, he slammed on the brakes and the King Ranch Ford spun and stopped about three feet from the barn. Dust blanketed the truck. He jumped out and went into the barn to get his horse.
Opening the corral, he whistled for Titan, his black gelding. The horse galloped toward him, eager to ride. Within minutes he’d saddled up and he headed out to join his brothers. He kneed Titan and the horse responded with a speed that always elated Falcon. He rode through the valley and over gently rolling hills as if his life depended on it. In a way it did.
Realizing he was pushing Titan too hard, he pulled up and slid from the saddle. Sinking down by a large oak, he took a moment to collect his chaotic thoughts. How dare she! How dare she come back and demand to see Eden? She had no right and he would never allow her anywhere near their daughter.
He ran his hands down his face and took a long breath, trying not to even think how damn gorgeous she still looked. She could’ve at least put on weight, showed aging on her face or sported a few gray hairs, but she was as beautiful as she’d ever been. And she’d met someone else. That gnawed at his insides. How dare she!
Getting to his feet, he resolved not to let her ruin one more day of his life. He’d spent too many hours thinking about her, but not anymore. He swung into the saddle and rode toward the northeast pasture. From a distance he could see something was wrong. Gunnar and Malachi McCray were on their side of the fence and his brothers on theirs. A heated conversation was evident as Elias waved his arms. Grandpa watched from his horse. His mother wasn’t there, and he wondered why.
Falcon dismounted before Titan came to a complete stop. “What’s going on?”
Elias swung toward him. “They’ve been standing there gawking at us all morning and I’m getting tired of it.” Elias held up his fists at Gunnar. “You want a piece of me, just come across that fence.”
“Stop it,” Falcon said to Elias and moved closer to Gunnar. “Is there a problem?”
“Just want to make sure you don’t cross the line, Rebel.”
Elias pointed a finger at him. “It’s you who’s always crossing our fence lines and cutting them and killing our calves. You’re not brave enough to cross it now, are you?”
“Neither are you,” Gunnar shot back.
It was all the incentive Elias needed as he made to jump over the fence, but Quincy and Egan caught him and pulled him back.
“Let me go. Let me go! I’ll kick his ass.”
“Stop it,” Falcon said once again and Elias quit fighting his brothers.
Grandpa kneed his horse a little closer to the fence. “You know, boy, if brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your ears off.”
“Grandpa.” Falcon didn’t need his grandfather getting in on the fight, but then his grandpa always loved one.
“Just look around you,” Grandpa said. “We’ve got you outnumbered. What kind of fool would take on this many Rebels?”
Falcon focused his attention on Gunnar. “We spend more time on this fence than any other on our property because the McCrays are breaking it on purpose. If it’s cut one more time, I’m stringing a hot wire through here. Try cutting that.”
“Hot damn, now we’re talking.” Elias threw back his head and laughed.
Their mother rode up with a picnic basket strapped onto her horse. Evidently, she’d brought lunch. She took the situation in at a glance and asked, “Is there a problem?”
“Yes, Miz Rebel,” Gunnar replied. “You need to teach your boys some manners.”
“My boys have good manners, but I’m not sure about the McCrays, who cause mischief for no reason.”
“Oh, we got reason.”
The situation was getting out of control and Falcon wouldn’t have his mother caught in the middle. She’d been through too much.
“Get on your horses and leave,” he said, pointing at the McCrays. “That’s the last warning.”
“This isn’t the end of it, Rebel!” Gunnar shouted as he mounted his horse. Malachi followed suit.
“It never is.”
The McCrays rode away and Falcon spoke to his brothers. “Let’s get back to work.”
“What caused this?” His mother wanted to know.
They all looked at Elias.
“They’ve been staring at us all morning and I got tired of it.”
“Son, it takes a strong man to walk away from a fight.”
“Well, I’m not one of them.”
“Sadly, that’s true.”
“Ah, Mom.”
“Try to use a little discretion, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Elias hung his head.
“Now, let’s have lunch,” his mother said, and they all gathered under a big oak. For September, the heat of summer still lingered and they were glad for the breeze that cooled their sweaty skin.
Grandpa leaned against the oak, his hat on the grass. “Did I ever tell you boys about the time I took on six men and lived to tell about it?”
“Abe, please, let the boys rest before they go back to work.”
“You’re one bossy—”
Falcon cleared his throat and Grandpa’s attention was diverted. His mother and grandfather had never gotten along and after his father’s death their relationship had taken a turn for the worse. He spent half his time trying to cool their tempers. Grandpa was long-winded and loved to talk and his mother hated it. He wondered what it was like to be part of a normal family. His thoughts swayed to Leah and he immediately pushed them away. He couldn’t think about her now.
With lunch over, his mother packed up and headed back to the ranch with Grandpa. Of course, they wouldn’t speak. Once they reached the ranch, Grandpa would go to his house and his mother would go to hers. Yep, that was the Rebel family.
“I’m working with Quincy,” Elias said. “Egan hums now and it annoys the crap out of me. Happyitis has gotten to him.”
Egan caught Elias around the neck. “I’ll sing to you, then.”
“Falcon!” Elias called as Egan dragged him toward the Polaris Ranger loaded with supplies.
It was good to see Egan happy. He’d found happiness with Rachel and they had gotten married in July. After he had been wrongly sent to prison they’d worried he would never find his way back to any type of life. All it took was a woman who loved him to bring him out of the darkness.
Quincy picked up his hat from the ground. “A couple more hours and this fence should be fixed for good.”
Falcon stared at his brother. They were fourteen months apart and similar in size and looks, except Quincy had his mother’s softer personality. Falcon had inherited the roughness of his father.
“Stop putting ideas into my daughter’s head.”
Quincy frowned. “What?”
“You know I want her to go to college. What’s all this about her barrel racing?”
“Do you ever listen to Eden? She loves this ranch and she doesn’t want to leave. Any idea of rodeoing was strictly hers.”
Falcon glanced off to the hot noon sun. “I know. I just want her to be a normal teenager instead of always hanging around this ranch with her uncles. I want her to be a girl.”
“Well, then, you shouldn’t have raised her as a boy.” Quincy slapped him on the back. “But don’t worry, those girl genes are there. Give her time.”
“I want her to experience life away from here, but it scares me to death that I’m going to lose her. I know that sounds crazy.”
“You sound like a father. Just listen to your daughter. That’s all you have to do.” Quincy walked off to join Egan and Elias.
Everyone always called him strong, but Falcon didn’t know if he was strong enough to deal with the Leah situation. The underlying fear he was going to lose his daughter to her mother was something he couldn’t shake.
Chapter Three (#ulink_fff5eb45-13e2-55c3-9cdc-5c47a9bff1df)
A time for little girls...
Falcon tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Leah’s face and he knew she wasn’t going to give up on seeing their daughter. She could easily go to the school and meet her afterward. All his threats didn’t mean a thing. He stood to lose everything he loved.
His thoughts tortured him and he got up. Slipping on his robe, a melancholy smile touched his lips. No one, except his mother, wore a robe before Eden was born. With a little girl in the house, they couldn’t walk around in their underwear. A lot of things had changed with the birth of Eden. She’d been the light in John Rebel’s eyes. He would hold her at night while watching television until she fell asleep and then Falcon would put her in her crib.
After his father’s death, Eden would wander around the house calling, “Papa!” She was only four but she missed her grandfather. At the memory, Falcon’s chest ached. He missed his dad more than he could ever explain to anyone. He blamed himself for not doing more to help his dad to stop drinking. But after killing Ezra McCray, John Rebel had demons that only he could face.
Falcon headed downstairs to get Leah’s number off the landline. Everyone used their cell phones these days and there was only a landline in the den, the kitchen and the office. He didn’t turn on a light because he didn’t want to disturb anyone. The kids had school tomorrow and they’d been in bed for over an hour. The moonlight shone through the windows as he made his way down the stairs.
In the den, he searched the caller ID and found the number. He could see fine by his cell phone as he added Leah to his contacts. To get what he wanted he’d have to give a little, but his top priority was protecting Eden, and that included from her mother.
It was after eleven and he hesitated to call her now. It could wait until morning. He heard a noise and a click. Someone was coming through the back door very quietly. He tensed. Everyone was in bed. Who was it?
He waited and saw a figure tiptoe across the den to the staircase. No mistaking the person. It was his daughter. She’d snuck out. How often did she do that? He trusted her and that trust was severely shaken.
He clicked on the desk lamp.
Eden swung around, her eyes huge in her startled face. Her hair was tousled and her blouse was opened slightly, revealing her breasts. Anger surged through him but he managed to control it.
“Oh... Dad. You scared me.”
“I bet. Where have you been?”
“Um... I...um...”
“Come on, think of a good lie, something you can get past your ol’ dad.” He got up and walked through the house to the dining room. Peeping through the blinds, he could see taillights come on as a vehicle neared the cattle guard.
“Who’s that leaving?”
She made a face. “Okay, you caught me.”
Falcon walked back to the desk and sat down. “Who did you sneak out to see when I thought you were safely in bed?”
“Well, now, don’t freak out.” She moved closer to the desk.
