I Choose from Wholeness Without Losing Myself in Relationships. An Original Motivational Method by Uliana Sunny

I already told you in the previous method that I saw a therapist myself. And I do not regret it in the least. Sometimes a few sessions are enough to see a situation completely differently. Sometimes one properly asked question can change the course of an entire life.

Therefore, do not be afraid to accept help. Wholeness does not mean that you must handle absolutely everything alone. You are not an iron lady.

Another very important part of life is spiritual development.

I never impose my religious views on anyone. Every person has the right to believe according to what they feel. Personally, I believe in God. And in my life, there have been many situations where it was faith that kept me from giving up. I believe that faith—no matter what it is in—must live within us. It gives us the feeling that we are not alone.

There were moments when it seemed there was no way out. When everything was falling apart. When it was terrifying and painful. And that was precisely when I turned to God. I went to church and asked for help, for strength. And each time, I felt that I was not alone.

For you, spiritual practice may look completely different. For one person, it is prayer. For another, reading Scripture. For someone else, visiting a church, a mosque, or another place where they feel connected to God. For another, meditation and conversations with the Universe. For still another, time spent in total silence.

It does not matter so much which specific practice you choose. What matters is something else: do not lose touch with your inner world. Do not let everyday bustle drown out your inner voice. Because very often, that voice is precisely what points in the right direction.

Sometimes we are so preoccupied with work, relationships, household chores, and the constant race that we stop hearing ourselves. We stop understanding what we want. We stop feeling our genuine desires. And then we begin living by other people’s expectations.

A whole woman does not live this way. She regularly spends time alone with herself. She asks herself questions. She answers them honestly. She checks whether she is going in the right direction. Whether she has strayed from her path. Whether she has started living for someone else again, forgetting about herself.

Remember one simple thought: you cannot build a happy relationship if there is no peace within you. Because your inner state is always reflected in your external life.

If there is anxiety inside, it will show up in the relationship. If there is fear inside, it will manifest next to a man. If there is mistrust inside, it will inevitably become part of the relationship as well.

Therefore, create tranquility within yourself first. And only then let another person into your life.

Very often, women start looking for a man precisely when they feel down. It seems to them that a relationship will rescue them. That a loved one will fill the void. That being with a man will make loneliness vanish. But this is an illusion. Because no man can make a woman happy if she has not learned to be happy without him.

A man should not become your salvation. He should not have to cover your inner wounds. He should not take responsibility for your happiness. That is too heavy a burden for any human being.

When you shift your expectations onto another person, you willingly hand him the key to your inner home. But the responsibility for your happiness, for the healing of your deep wounds, rests on you alone. To reclaim your power, it is essential to stop waiting for an external savior and redirect your attention to what is happening inside you right now. Stop looking for someone to blame for the pain you were once caused. As long as all your energy goes into blame and resentment, your own life remains on hold.

Walk up to the mirror, look yourself straight in the eye, and do not look away. Touch your hands, feel your legs, your body. Ask yourself an honest, deep question: “Do I love where I am? Am I caring for myself, or am I continuing to destroy my home?” Your body is a sacred vessel, and the way you treat it reflects how you treat your soul. There is no need to demand drastic changes or perfection from yourself in a single day. Start with the smallest, simplest things: add wholesome food to your diet, eat more vegetables, and give your body the care and nourishment it needs.

The main thing is to stop pitying yourself, for pity often masquerades as kindness while actually robbing us of the ability to act. When things are hard, do not look for excuses to stand still; take at least one tiny step. Make it a rule to start a daily conversation with yourself on paper. Let a simple notebook become the place where you sincerely write out your fears, your state of mind, your insights, and your innermost desires. Once, I started by simply writing down my own feelings and reflections, never imagining it would grow into books. A small, habitual action repeated every day can open entirely new horizons before you.

When I opened my first business, and then my second, I made mistakes, faced wrong decisions, and felt completely lost. But I did not let those falls define my destiny. Today I have my third business, and I know for certain: any difficult circumstances are merely a temporary stage, not a final verdict, as long as you do not lose faith and keep moving forward.

Stop devaluing yourself and waiting for grand victories to finally show yourself respect. In the evening, start noticing your small successes and asking yourself what good things you did today and how you improved. Remember that your subconscious mind hears every word you say, aloud or to yourself. Words possess immense power. If you fill your mind with fears, other people’s drama, and negative news from the early morning, you will drain yourself of resources. Choose what to feed your soul and mind from the first moments of waking.

Never abandon your dream simply because someone on the outside does not believe in you or voices their opinion. It does not matter how old you are, how many mistakes lie behind you, or what your current situation is. If life or the Lord opens a new opportunity before you, accepting that chance with gratitude is your only true step. You have the exact same right to happiness, love, and the fulfillment of your purpose as any other human being.

So first, learn to be happy on your own. And only then share that happiness with a man. That is precisely what I call a state of wholeness.

You are already valuable. You are already happy. You are already whole. And then a man arrives not to rescue you, but to walk beside you.

Remember this thought: a whole woman does not hold on to a relationship out of fear. She chooses a relationship out of love. And that makes an enormous difference.

Now, let us talk about another very important component of your wholeness: finances.

I already told you that in the first method, we reached a state where we stopped living from the victim position. We began taking responsibility for our lives, including our financial state.

But now that you have become a whole woman, it is important not just to learn how to earn money. It is important to learn how to live in such a way that money ceases to be a source of fear.

In this method, I am not teaching you how to become a millionaire. I am not a financial advisor. I am not telling you how to start a business or make your first million. That is an entirely different subject.

What I can say with absolute certainty, however, is that a whole woman must understand what is happening with her money.

Very often, women shift financial responsibility entirely onto a man. Especially if they are married. They feel that since the husband earns the money, they do not need to take any interest in family finances at all. I believe otherwise.

Even if a man provides for the family entirely, the woman must understand the financial situation.

She needs to know:

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How much money comes into the family.

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How much money goes out.

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What the fixed expenses are.

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What loans or other obligations exist.

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What savings exist.

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What financial goals the family faces.

This is not a matter of control. It is a matter of peace of mind.

Another very important point: every woman must have her own financial safety cushion. Always.

Even if you have a wonderful husband. Even if you trust your man completely. Even if you have a happy marriage. This is not about mistrust. It is about maturity.

Life is unpredictable. Anything can happen: job loss, relocation, illness, a crisis, any circumstances. And when a woman has her own reserve, she feels far more at ease. She makes decisions not out of fear, but out of confidence.

If you are working and earning well, wonderful. Keep developing. Keep learning. Keep expanding your opportunities.

If your income is small for now, there is nothing wrong with that. The main thing is not to stop. Do not tell yourself: "Well, I guess this is my ceiling." No. There is no ceiling. There is only the level you have not reached yet.

Sometimes life turns out such that a woman is temporarily not working. For example, she is on maternity leave. Or caring for a loved one. Or relocating. Or studying. That, too, is normal.

The main thing is to understand that this is a temporary stage. And even during this period, keep developing. Gain new knowledge. Master new professions. Study languages. Read books. Because knowledge is capital too. And very often, it is precisely knowledge that begins bringing in money a few years down the line.

Remember one simple thought: financial literacy is not about wealth. It is about your peace of mind. It is about understanding your capabilities and knowing how to plan. When you do not live from paycheck to paycheck. When you know you will be able to handle an unexpected situation. This gives a woman an enormous sense of inner footing.

Therefore, learn to save.

Even if right now these are very small amounts.

Do not think:

"When I start earning more, that is when I will start saving."

No. The habit of saving is not born when big money appears. It is born when discipline appears. Let it be very little. The main thing is regularity.

Discipline begins with the simplest rule: savings are set aside first. Not according to the principle of "I'll save whatever is left at the end of the month," because usually nothing is left by the end of the month, but immediately, on the day the money comes in. Transfer at least a small portion to a separate savings account at a reliable bank—best of all, set up an automatic transfer. When you do not physically see this money on the primary card you use to buy coffee, you have no temptation to spend it. In this way, step by step, you build a safety cushion that covers your basic expenses for three to six months. This is not just an amount in a bank account; it is your reserve of psychological freedom. If toxicity appears in your relationship, or they want to lay you off, or a sudden crisis simply strikes, you will not have to endure and break yourself out of fear of being left penniless. You will be able to pack your things calmly and leave, leaning on your own financial foundation.