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“Do it!”
“No!” Mattie shouted.
Mrs. Harris gasped. The reverend’s eyes widened.
“No. That’s my answer.” She looked up at Jared. “No, I won’t marry you.”
“Now look here, Mattie, you know—”
“No!” Mattie wrestled away from him. “I won’t marry you! Not now, not ever! No!”
She spun away from him and ran out of the church, slamming the door behind her.
Halfway across the churchyard, Mattie heard Jared calling her name. She didn’t stop until she heard his footsteps behind her. She turned to find him towering over her.
“Listen to me, Mattie, we’re going back into that church and we’re—”
“No!”
“You can’t raise this baby by yourself!”
“Yes, I can!” She looked up into his face and saw that Jared was as angry as she.
“Listen to me—”
“No, you listen to me,” she told him. “I have a home and a business. I have friends to help me. I’m perfectly capable of raising this baby myself. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t know what you’re up against.”
Mattie reined in her temper. “This doesn’t concern you. Everyone thinks this baby is Del’s and that suits me fine.”
“It doesn’t suit me at all!”
“I don’t care if it does or not,” Mattie told him. “You have no say in the matter. This baby is mine to take care of. Mine. Not yours.”
A flash of pain came over Jared’s face. Mattie looked away and softened her voice. “From now on, you are to stay away from me. That’s my final word.”
A minute dragged by, and Jared didn’t speak. She knew it would be hard on him to accept her decision, but it was for the best.
Finally, she lifted her gaze to his face. His features burned with an intensity she’d never seen before.
“Like hell I will.” He ground out the words in a low voice.
Mattie nearly buckled under the weight of his pronouncement. She forced her chin up a notch. “I insist you respect my wishes,” she said.
“I don’t give a damn about your wishes,” he told her. “That baby is mine and I don’t care who knows it.”
A deep, sickening fear rushed through her. “You can’t mean that. You can’t poison this baby’s future by telling everyone the truth.”
“I’m going to have a say in everything that goes on with you and this baby. Get used to it.”
Jared gave her a curt nod and walked away.
Chapter Five
The lantern light flickered as the night breeze blew through the open window, sending shadows dancing across the kitchen. Elbow deep in the washtub, doing the dishes, Mattie hardly noticed.
The restaurant was quiet now, closed for the evening. Mrs. Nance had gone home some time ago. She’d offered to stay, of course, and help Mattie finish up the day’s dishes, but Mattie had told her no. She was lucky to still have Mrs. Nance working for her; she wouldn’t impose any more than necessary.
Mattie didn’t mind the solitude of the kitchen, but she sorely missed Billy Weaver. Billy had been her dishwasher…before.
With a jerk of her chin, Mattie sent unkind thoughts in the direction of Jared McQuaid. If not for him, she’d have been at the restaurant all day and could have done these dishes a little at a time, rather than standing here all night, doing them now, to ready the kitchen for tomorrow’s business.
Instead, he’d taken her home to rest. Then hauled her to the church to marry him. Mattie shuddered at the thought. Good gracious, what had she been thinking, agreeing to the marriage? Luckily, she’d come to her senses in time.
She scrubbed the next plate in the tepid water, dipped it in the rinse tub and stacked it with the others. Maybe she should march to the jail and insist Jared come over and wash these dishes himself. Yes, that would serve him right.
For an instant the vision of Jared standing at her washtub bloomed in her mind. Sleeves rolled up, dark hair spread over flexing forearms, legs braced wide apart. So big, so strong. Unlike Mattie, he no doubt could work for hours and not even breathe hard.
Of course, Jared McQuaid didn’t have another person riding around inside of him.
Mattie smiled to herself. The baby. Growing within her right now, this very moment. What did it look like? she wondered. Would it be a boy? A girl?
More sobering thoughts came to Mattie then, taking the smile from her face. She had so much to do before the child was born. Pay off Del’s old debts. Build up her bank account. Get her business back on track. Prepare for the baby’s arrival. Then insure the child’s future.
“Well, gracious…” Mattie muttered, the sloshing of water muting her words.
So much to do. So much to do…alone.
She sighed, dipping the last plate into the rinse tub. Better to do things alone than to depend on someone who wouldn’t come through for her. She didn’t need to learn that lesson twice.
True, her future was a tall order, but Mattie was confident she could handle it. The only question concerned Jared. And she intended to settle that tonight.
Mattie dried the dishes and stacked them in the cupboard, then dumped the wash water and took off her apron. This afternoon in the churchyard, Jared had threatened to make it known that he was the father of her baby. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—allow that to happen.
Slipping her shawl around her shoulders, Mattie gathered her handbag, blew out the lanterns and locked up. But instead of heading home, she went the other way.
The good thing about the day wearing on was that the nausea that marked her mornings faded. The bad thing was that fatigue took its place.
Bone weary, Mattie walked along the darkened street. Most of the businesses had closed long ago. Just a few windows glowed with lamplight. The only noise came from the Lady Luck Saloon at the other end of town.
Mattie stopped as she neared the jail, and glanced around. No one was about, but that didn’t mean she might not be seen. Surely, word would spread that the new sheriff had offered to marry her and she’d turned him down. Mattie didn’t want to add any more fuel to the gossip by being seen entering the jailhouse this late at night.
She cut through the alley to the rear of the jail. Glancing around, she opened the door and stepped inside.
From a doorway to her left, light spilled into the hallway, illuminating two empty cells. Straight ahead, through another opened door, lantern light burned in the sheriff’s office.
Mattie paused, listening. She heard nothing. Maybe Jared wasn’t here. He could be out walking rounds.
She ventured farther down the hallway, wanting to make certain. Mattie wanted to talk to him tonight, get this issue settled once and for all.
A shadow crossed her path and Jared leaped in front of her. Startled, she froze.
Good gracious, his chest was bare.
Which was an odd thing to notice, she realized a second later, given that he had a Colt .45 pointed at her head.
“What the hell are you doing, sneaking in here?” Jared demanded. “I nearly shot you.”
Mattie pointed lamely down the hall. “You shouldn’t have left your door unlocked. How thoughtless.”
Jared grumbled and lowered his pistol. “Nobody breaks into a jail, Mattie.”
“Oh.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked, frowning. Mattie twisted her fingers together, unsure where to start. Of course, it would be much easier to think if he weren’t standing only a foot away with no shirt on.
Dark, crinkly hair covered his chest and arrowed down his muscled stomach, disappearing into his trousers. His arms bulged as he shifted his wide shoulders.
The sleeves of his long johns and his suspenders hung at his sides; the top button of his trousers was unfastened.
“Change your mind about getting married?” he asked.
The question shocked her back to reality. “No, of course not. I need to talk to you.”
Jared stepped into the room and turned a cane bottom chair toward her. “Sit down,” he said.
A tingle swept up her spine. This was his bedroom. She couldn’t waltz inside and sit down. It wasn’t decent.
“You’ve been on your feet all evening. Sit down.” When she still hesitated, Jared gestured toward the bunk in the corner. “Unless you’d rather hop into bed?”
Mattie jerked her chin at him and plopped into the chair. He shoved the pistol into the holster that dangled from a row of pegs on the wall. His shirt hung beside it. He’d probably been getting ready for bed when she walked in. Her gaze bounced to the tidy bunk, then to Jared. He was already watching her. Mattie’s cheeks burned. She busied herself straightening her skirt, refusing to look at him again.
“How are you feeling?” Jared asked.
“Fine.”
He stopped in the center of the floor and sighed heavily. “How are you really feeling?”
She wasn’t sure if the frown on his face meant he was angry or genuinely concerned. “Tired. A little tired.”
“Did you eat a proper supper?”
She huffed. “That’s really none of your concern.”
His chest swelled and his frown deepened. “Did you eat a proper supper?”
“Yes,” she told him. No sense in annoying him further, given the reason she was here tonight.
Jared nodded, apparently satisfied, then shoved his arms into his long johns and pulled them over his shoulders.
“What do you need to talk about?” he asked.
How odd, sitting in a chair in Jared’s bedroom, watching him dress. Mattie couldn’t recall any such moment with her husband.
Obviously, Jared thought nothing of her being there. He buttoned his long johns and slipped on his shirt, completely comfortable with her presence.
His long fingers fastened the shirt, then dipped into his trousers, tucking the tail inside. Mattie sat mesmerized by the simple action, the intimate details he shared so casually.
“Mattie?”
“Oh.” She shifted on the chair. “I have to know if you’ll keep my secret.”
“You mean about the baby really being mine?”
“You can’t be serious about telling everyone the truth. Can you imagine the scandal?”
“You’d rather live a lie than be gossiped about?”
Mattie rose from the chair. “I don’t care so much for myself. I’m worried about the baby. This will throw a shadow over his whole life.”
“His whole life? You think it’s a boy?” His gaze dipped to her belly.
She touched her hand to her stomach. “I don’t know.”
“I want a girl,” Jared said, pulling up his suspenders. “It’ll be a girl.”
“All the more reason not to jeopardize her future,” Mattie said. “Surely you can see that.”
Jared shrugged into his vest and fastened his gun belt on his hips. “I’m more concerned that she’ll turn out as stubborn as her mama.”
Mattie sighed heavily. “Jared, please—”
“You need to get home,” he said, and put on his hat.
She pulled away when he reached for her arm. “Not until you give me your answer. I have to know this is settled. Surely you can understand that.”
He leaned down, just a little, just enough to make her draw back. “And surely you can understand that, for a man, agreeing to give up his child isn’t a decision to be made lightly.”
The depth of his gaze held her captive for a moment, and in that moment she saw something unreadable in Jared. Something deep. Something old and timeworn. It touched her, frightened her a little.
“I can walk home myself,” she said to him. He sighed irritably. “I’m walking you home, Mattie, and that’s that.”
Jared strode out of the room, leaving her no choice but to follow.
A ray of morning sunlight streaming through the window bored into Jared’s eyes, waking him. He sat up, groggy, looked around and finally remembered where he was after his first night in his new room.
He scrubbed his hands over his face and pushed his fingers through his hair. Then he tossed back the covers.
