The Bachelor's Baby

He did as she directed and cradled the baby’s head in the crook of his elbow, while the rest of Jason’s chubby body trailed down his arm.

She slanted Tucker an approving look. “See? You can do it with one arm tied.behind your back.”

“I think I’d rather wrestle a steer.” When his uneasy expression faded slightly, he glanced at her. “He’s a sturdy little fella.”

“He’s not fat,” she said defensively.

Tucker looked at her and raised one brow. “Didn’t say he was.”

“Good. Because he’s not.”

So she was a little sensitive. The pediatrician had made her aware of fat cells and a person’s predisposition to putting on weight. Although, seeing the lean, rugged strength and height of Jason’s father, whom he resembled more than a little, she wasn’t nearly so worried. Although it occurred to her, and not for the first time, that she hardly knew anything about her son’s father.

The baby started to fuss and Tucker froze. “What do I do?”

“Unless you have breast milk, not a thing. It’s time for his feeding.”

“Do you want me to leave the room so you can have some privacy?” he asked.

She took the baby from his arms, wondering why he’d qualified that, as in “leave the room,” not the premises and her life. Jason started fussing louder, and she didn’t give it any more thought.

“You can stay if you want. I’ve gotten used to doing this discreetly.” She looked up at him as she sat in the rocker by the window. “Unless you’re embarrassed.”

“Me? Embarrassed? Heck no, doesn’t bother me at all,” he said, turning his back to her.

Casey grinned as she grabbed a receiving blanket and threw it over Jason and her shoulder, then pulled her T-shirt up and unhooked her nursing bra. Nestling Jason against her, she smiled when he latched on to her nipple with the strength of a vacuum. He started smacking loudly, and. Casey glanced at Tucker. He was still staring at the back of the condo building across the alley, as if a woman was stripteasing in the window. In the past three months she’d spent enough time rocking Jason in this spot to know for a fact the stucco was not that interesting.

“Really, Tucker. This is the most natural thing in the world. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not.” But he didn’t turn around. “I’m sort of surprised that you’d nurse him.”

“Why?”

He raised his broad shoulders as he tucked his fingertips in his front pockets, pulling the denim a little tighter across his backside. She was just as glad he was embarrassed. From where she. sat, the view was pretty darn good.

“Most working women wouldn’t.”

Casey started at the words and tone. It pricked the knot of worry she carried around with her. Did he know about her present situation? That was silly. How could he?

“A lot of women have to work. That doesn’t mean they don’t want the best for their babies,” she said defensively.

He glanced over his shoulder, then quickly back out the window. “Yeah, but something tells me they’d frown on you doing that in between clients.”

“That’s true.” She sighed. “But I’ll manage when I go back.”

“Where would you be going back to?”

She glanced up at him sharply. There was definitely an odd note in his voice, as if he was setting a trap for her to walk into.

“My job at the firm—”

“Why are you trying to hide it from me?”

“I’m not trying to hide anything—”

“Come off it, Casey.”

Tucker was too tired to sort through his feelings about Casey and what kind of game she was playing. But a couple of things he knew for a fact. She hadn’t lied about Jason being his son. His instincts told him that even before he saw the unmistakable resemblance. But with that first look and touch, he’d known a wave of love and protection so fierce, so powerful, it had taken his breath away.

“How did you know?” she asked a note of accusation in her voice.

“That receptionist who gave me your address told me.

“I should have guessed. Actually it was sort of a mutual decision. Because of Jason I didn’t want to work the seventy-hour week they envisioned for a potential accounting partner. And they were concerned that motherhood would dilute the energy I could give the firm.” He heard the worry mixed with bravado in her voice.

“What are you going to do?” he asked. He turned away from the window and caught the tender way she was looking at the nursing baby. His flesh and blood—his son. The thought brought him more joy than he’d ever felt in his life.

“I’m looking for another job. I’ve filed for unemployment. I’ll be fine.”

Tucker watched her rock gently back and forth. Last night he’d thought she was more beautiful than she’d been the night he’d met her. Now he understood why. Motherhood suited her. But she seemed damned determined to deny him a chance at fatherhood.

That wasn’t going to happen.

He wasn’t sure why she was so resolved to do this on her own. But he knew for a fact he wouldn’t let her get away with it. Tucker had driven around a long time before knocking on her door. He’d had a lot of time to think. An idea had come to him, and the more he thought about it, the better it sounded to him.

“What if you can’t find a job? What happens when the money runs out?”

She sighed. “I’m an intelligent woman. I’ll find a way to take care of myself and my son.”

“You haven’t said anything about family. Is there someone who can help?”

“No.” The one curtly spoken word told him a lot about what she had gone through in the past year.

Anger, at her and himself, flowed through him. “You should have tried harder to find me.”

Her gaze snapped up to his. “It’s not your problem, Tucker.”

“The hell it’s not. He’s my son.”

The baby started squirming, and she raised him to her shoulder, then gently patted his back. “I understand how you feel. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.”

Jason burped loudly and Tucker laughed. “With a little practice he could be a champion.”

Casey snorted. “I’m not sure it’s a skill that should be encouraged.” She settled him at her other breast and he nursed happily again.

“So what are your plans now?” Tucker asked. “Do you have any solid leads on a job?”

“One or two,” she answered vaguely.

“You don’t sound like a typical, enthusiastic career woman.”

“The one thing I hadn’t counted on was how hard it would be to leave my baby—” Her voice caught.

In two strides Tucker was beside her and down on one knee. “Casey, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t leave him? Don’t nurse him? Don’t cry—”

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. With her hands full of baby, she couldn’t discreetly brush it away. Tucker did.

“There’s no reason to cry,” he said.

“Oh, yeah? He’s my baby, and I’ll cry if I want to.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

Another tear slipped down her cheek. “I don’t need your permission.”

“Of course not—”

“Don’t patronize me, Tucker. I hate crying. I despise being at the mercy of my hormones. And seeing you isn’t helping, either.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but chose to believe she was feeling the same way he was. Disturbed by how strong his attraction still was even after a year.

“I’m just trying to help. I’ve got an idea—”

“I don’t need help. Especially from a man.” She sniffled. “Tucker, you’ve seen Jason. He’s happy, hearty, healthy—sturdy,” she said, meeting his gaze. “I’ve played by the rules. It’s time for you to go. Happy trails and all that.”

He gritted his teeth. “Not yet.”

“Yet?” she asked suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

“You’re not the only one who plays by the rules. I’m not leaving until you hear my proposition.”

Chapter Two

Tucker suppressed his anger at her dismissal. He needed a clear head, something he could never manage when he was mad as hell. Like now. Casey Wright had confessed, unburdened her conscience, come clean and told him about his son. Her halfhearted attempt to find him didn’t cut it, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t trust a woman who would keep secrets from him, especially something as important as the fact that he was going to be a father. If she expected him to walk out of his son’s life, she’d better think again.

“This is a proposal that you might want to seriously consider,” he repeated.

“If this is about marrying you,” she said quickly. “That’s out of the question.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to.”

“Oh. Good, because the answer would have been no.”

“Fine. I don’t want to get married, either. But I’ve got another idea. Will you hear me out?”

She stared back at him, her delicate jaw rigid with stubbornness. Big green eyes in a pixie face, surrounded becomingly by short, jagged-cut blond hair, regarded him suspiciously. He realized he had lied when he told her she wasn’t as cute as he remembered. She was cuter.

When she took a deep breath and nodded, he knew she would listen. “I don’t think I’ll like it, but the least I can do is hear you out.”

“How do you know you won’t like it?” he asked, irritated.

“I just do. But go ahead.”

Still on one knee beside her rocking chair, he felt as if he should propose marriage to her. It was the honorable thing to do. He couldn’t. It might be noble, but it wasn’t right. Not for Casey or Jason or him. Marriage implied love and commitment that would last forever, and he didn’t believe that was possible. But he could offer her the next best thing.

“I want you and Jason to move in with me on my ranch.” He took one look at her face and added, “Temporarily. Say, three months. A month for every one I missed out on.”

“You want—” She stared at him for a moment.

Then she moved. Beneath the soft little blanket that hid his son and her breast, she squirmed as she righted the straps of her bra and shirt. She threw off the flannel covering, lifted the contented baby to her shoulder and burped him. With quick, angry movements, she arranged a small plastic chair in the crib.

“What’s that?” he asked. “What are you doing?”

This baby thing was all new to him. Everything was fascinating. Especially the feeding part, he decided, noticing the way her T-shirt molded to the soft curve of her breasts.

She spread the chair straps wide with one hand as she held the baby in her other arm. “This is called an infant seat. I’m going to put him in here in a semiupright position.”

“Why?”

“If I put him on his tummy when it’s full, he’ll throw up. If I put him on his back, I’m afraid he’ll spit up and aspirate it into his lungs.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“No, it’s not.”

“What does he do when he sits in the chair—infant seat?”

“Nothing.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Probably. Pretty soon he’ll get tired and take a nap.

“How does he get tired from doing nothing?”

She glared at him. “I don’t know. And I don’t know what makes you think you have the right to make a suggestion like you just did.”

“You think moving to the ranch is a bad idea?”

“Very bad.”

“Why? You said you don’t want to leave him. The way the world is today, a wacko on every corner, I don’t like the idea of him with a total stranger—”

“I’d never leave him with someone untrustworthy.”

“I have a right to approve of my son’s caretaker.”

“You never heard of Jason until today. This isn’t your problem or your business.”

As she heaved a huge sigh, her chest went up and down in a tantalizing way that made his blood race and his pulse pound. She had a lot of things to explain, like why she hadn’t tried harder to find him. Why she hadn’t returned the calls he’d left on her voice mail. Whether or not she ever would have told him he had a son. But one thing was clear to him, the attraction that had provoked him into taking her to bed against his better judgment hadn’t lessened in a year.

As he watched her strap the baby in the chair, Tucker carefully gathered his thoughts. “Casey, I’m sensing that you don’t like the fact much, but the reality is, I’m Jason’s father. Everything about his welfare is my business.”

“Damn. This is exactly what I was afraid of.” She glared at him and marched out of the room.

Tucker glanced at the baby, sitting quietly in his crib. “Hey, there, little fella. Son,” he said, testing the word. He liked the way it sounded.

He wound up the music box on the mobile mounted on the crib rail. Strains of music filled the room as the suspended animals slowly turned. Jason waved his arms, trying to catch the moving figures, Tucker guessed.

He reached out a finger and the baby grabbed on. “Good grip, buddy,” he said. Jason grinned.

The mobile’s movement drew the baby’s wideeyed blue gaze. As he smiled and gurgled happily, dimples formed in his cheeks. Tucker noticed again the resemblance. The boy was a Smith through and through. Although there was some of his mother in him, too. He was sort of bald at the moment, but the little bit of hair he had was light. Looked like it might turn out to be wheat colored like Casey’s.

He, and a woman he barely knew, shared this baby. It was an amazing, unsettling thought.

As he studied his son, Tucker’s chest swelled and his heart melted. His feelings were bittersweet. He’d missed out on Casey’s pregnancy, watching her belly grow big with his baby, being at the hospital for the birth, seeing her learn to nurse before she had become discreet about it. He hadn’t been included in bringing Jason home. He’d just missed out on the baby rolling from his tummy to his back for the first time.

His son was already three months old, and Tucker keenly felt the irretrievable loss. He didn’t intend to miss anything else. Including getting acquainted with his son’s mother, so he could better know the boy, he told himself.

He walked into the living room and frowned as he took in the feminine furnishings. Shaking his head, he was amazed at how his perspective had changed since learning he had a son. The room he once would have thought pretty and definitely female, and so suited to Casey, now became the worst possible environment for raising a boy.

The question was, how was he going to make her realize that. He had no idea what his legal rights were, with them not being married. Although he intended to find out. Still, he didn’t want to force her into a decision. It would be best for everyone if she came to the ranch because she believed it was the right thing to do.

Standing in front of the white brick fireplace, she stared at a photo on the mantel, her back to him. She must have sensed his presence, because her shoulders stiffened.

Tucker moved beside her. “You want to explain what you meant by what you just said?”

“What did I say?”

“You were afraid that would happen. Exactly what were you afraid of?”

She looked at him. “That you would try to rescue me.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You don’t look like you’re drowning. Haven’t fallen down a mountain. Far as I can tell you’re not shipwrecked. Exactly what does rescue mean?”

“That you would try and make everything better for me and the baby, which implies that things are not fine just like they are.”

“Things aren’t fine. You don’t have a job. Because of the baby. I share half the responsibility for that. Why did you decide to have him?” He held up a hand. “Don’t pretend to misunderstand. You could have taken the easy way out, but you didn’t. The path you’ve chosen is bound to have a pothole or two. So why’d you do it?”

“Because I wanted a child. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t set out for it to happen. I’m not the sort of woman who meets a man and falls into bed with him.”

“I never thought you were.” One of the things that had charmed him that night a year and a day ago, had been her shy innocence. He had known then she didn’t make a habit of going to a man’s motel room. It had pleased him that she trusted him enough to do that with him.

“When I found out I was pregnant, I was pretty upset.”

“You said you don’t have family—”

“I said no family to help.” Her eyes darkened. He waited for her to say more, but she didn’t. He could only guess what she must have gone through—dealing with the pregnancy and birth all by herself.

“After the shock wore off, I realized I wanted this baby. I wasn’t getting any younger. I like kids and figured, Why not?”

“What about a husband?”

She sighed as she met his gaze. “Are we talking about you?” Before he could answer she added, “I thought about this a lot. Really I did. It just didn’t seem wise to make a difficult situation worse.”

“How would telling me about the pregnancy make it worse?”

She looked down. “Tucker, I barely knew you or anything about you. I had no way of knowing if you would insist on a marriage that neither of us wanted. I’m sorry if this sounds selfish, but I had more at stake than your feelings. I don’t mean to sound cold, but the responsibility of bringing a new life into the world was frightening enough without having to worry about what you would do.”

“So that’s why you didn’t return my calls? You did get them?”

“Yes. I tried to call you after the first one, two weeks after you’d left here. I didn’t get the message right away. I’d taken a long weekend. By the time I was able to call you back, you were gone.”

“What about the other two?”

She looked at him, then her gaze settled on a point beyond his shoulder. Her gaze darkened as she frowned at her memories. “When I got the second call, I was two months pregnant and not sure what to do, whether to tell you or not. I agonized over it.” Her fingers twisted together as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “Finally I decided you had a right to know, and I called. You were gone again.”

“Is that when you tried, not too hard I might add, to find me?”

She nodded. “I got the third call, too. By then I was so confused. I was beginning to see how much you moved around. A baby would really disrupt your life. The two of you would only be in the same city once a year.”

“That was a big assumption.”

“What else was I to think? I hardly knew you. Until ten minutes ago, I didn’t even know you had a ranch.”

“Well, I do. A prosperous one.”

She looked mildly surprised. “So how come you’re never there—prospering?”

“I’m on the rodeo circuit.”

“That part I knew. What I don’t understand is why you want Jason and me to go to the ranch if you won’t be there? Why should I pull up stakes and take my baby away from everything that’s familiar?”

“What does a three-month-old know about familiar?”

“I was talking about things that are well-known to me. I trust his pediatrician. The friends I have here are the best.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re leaving out one very important fact. You’re out of a job.” Her mouth tightened at the reminder, and he hated doing that to her. But somehow, he had to get through to her. “Admit it, Casey. It’s a good solution.”

“Not for me.”

“Don’t start with that rescue thing again.”

She took a deep breath. “There’s something you need to understand about me, Tucker.”

“Shoot.” He stuck his fingertips in the front of his jeans and gave her his undivided attention.

“When I was a little girl, we didn’t have much money. Didn’t go to the movies or do a lot of anything, for that matter. What we did have was a TV set. My mother scrimped and saved to buy it” She stopped and waited for him to say something.

“Go on. I figure you’re going somewhere with this. I’m listening.”

“Besides books I borrowed from the library, my only entertainment was that TV. I grew up on John Wayne Westerns, reruns of Maverick and Bonanza. Clint Eastwood was my hero.”

That was a little irritating. Hard to go up against a fella who was bigger than life. Not that he wanted to compete. “Go on.”

“My favorite part was when the cowboy rescued the heroine. He’d ride in on his white horse, dispose of the bad guy in short order, then carry the damsel in distress off and take care of her as they lived happily ever after.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Not a thing, except it’s fantasy. I found out soon enough real life was very different from that.”

“So do you have a point?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re a cowboy, for goodness’ sake.”

Was he supposed to know what that had to do with the price of a Stetson? “Last time I checked it wasn’t a crime.”

“That’s true. But something else you should understand. I’m an accountant. I’ve always been good at math. I like rules, regulations, equations, and formulas. My point is this—cowboy equals rescue. Rescue equals myth. Therefore, cowboy equals myth.”

“I’m no myth, sweetheart,” he said sarcastically. “I’m a flesh-and-blood man who found out his own flesh and blood is in the other room. This has nothing to do with rescuing you and everything to do with the fact that I want to be a part of Jason’s life.” She opened her mouth, and he pointed at her. “And don’t tell me you were afraid of that.”

Her mouth pulled in a straight line as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You have no legal rights to him, Tucker.”

“The hell I don’t. My father taught me that every man should live by a code. He said, ‘Write it in your heart and stand by it. Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity and fairness.’” He took a deep breath, remembering the way his father had always said those words with a hand on Tucker’s shoulder. He wanted to be that kind of an influence in his son’s life. “You don’t need to hold me responsible, I can do that all on my own. The way I see it, I have a moral obligation to that boy, more binding than man-made laws. But if necessary I’ll use them.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’ll say it straight out. I intend to be a father to my son. If you force my hand, I can tie you up for a long time in court.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I don’t want to.”

She paced for a few moments, her forehead puckered thoughtfully. Finally she stopped in front of him and said, “Tucker, I need some time to think about this. I’m glad you know about Jason. But, truthfully, I never expected to see you again. For the past year I haven’t had to consult with anyone about anything.”

Once again he realized how little he knew about the mother of his son. More than ever he was convinced that he was right about this. “You said you had no family to help you—”

“My mother and sister have their hands full taking care of themselves.”

“What about your good friends? Who took you to the hospital when you had the baby?”

“Let it go, Tucker. I got there and had a normal birth and a beautiful baby boy. You didn’t know. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Maybe not. But all the same, I can’t help feeling that there’s a lot to make up for.”

“I’m sorry. As far as your proposal, there’s a lot to consider.”

“Like what?”

“Where would I live? What would I do?”

“The house is big enough for all of us. You’d have your own room, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t worried,” she said too quickly.

“Yeah. As far as what you’ll do, taking care of Jason is a full-time job.”

She shook her head. “I can’t just stop looking for work.”

“You don’t have to. There’s no reason why you can’t do it from the ranch.”

She shook her head. “I can’t make a snap decision about what happens now. You’re going to have to understand that.”

He didn’t understand. It seemed cut-and-dried to him. She didn’t have a job, and she didn’t want to leave the baby. On the ranch she could take her time about finding work, while she cared for his son.

Something else his father had told him: “It’s better to sit on your horse and do nothing than to wear him out chasing shadows.” Her agreement to come to the ranch was not what he would get if he continued to push.