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Restraining the desire to tell Lisa to take her sneakered feet off the mahogany coffee table and change the loud music-video station on the TV to something quieter, he counted to ten. So many questions clicked through his head as he felt anger rise at Carrie for putting them in this position.
However, when he caught the worried expression on his wife’s face, he kept his tone as casual as he could. “You must be Lisa.” His gut told him nothing about having this teenager around would be easy.
As she finished eating a banana, she proved his instincts right when she defiantly asked, “Why must I be Lisa? Because I’m pregnant or because my hair is more than one color?” She cast a defiant glance at Carrie. “What did you tell him about me?”
The teenager didn’t seem to ruffle Carrie as his wife replied, “I told him you’ve lost your parents and you have nowhere to go.”
“My wife told me very little,” Brian said. “I think she wanted me to meet you and form my own conclusions. Do you think you could turn down the sound on the TV?”
Lisa gave him a look that said this whole interview was an imposition.
But he wasn’t going to let her make him feel uncomfortable in his own house. “I think we should talk if you’re going to stay here.”
With that she took her feet from the coffee table, flipped a banana peel into the waste can next to the sofa and switched off the TV. “If you don’t want me here, you’d better say so now.”
“I don’t know you,” he admitted freely. “Carrie made the decision to ask you to stay here without talking to me first.”
“She has to check with you on everything?”
“We’re married, Lisa. Married couples discuss major decisions. This is one of those, especially if you decide to let us adopt your baby.”
Lisa focused her attention on Carrie. “Were you afraid he’d say no if you asked him?”
After a glance at him Carrie answered, “After I met you, I decided we could both benefit from this arrangement. You need a roof over your head, and we want to adopt.”
“And he could put up with anything for a month?”
“Something like that,” Carrie confessed with a small smile to lighten the atmosphere.
Some of the tension seemed to leave Lisa’s shoulders, although Brian didn’t feel any more at ease. Now she addressed him again. “Do you want a baby as much as Carrie does?”
“We want a family,” he said.
“You want a baby,” Lisa pressed.
“Yes.” Seeing Lisa’s large belly brought home the reality that he could be a father much sooner than he’d expected.
Carrie sat beside Lisa on the sofa. “I know this is overwhelming, and I know you don’t feel at home here yet—”
Sliding to the edge of the sofa cushion, Lisa pushed herself up to her feet. “At home? I shouldn’t even think about feeling at home. Even if this does work out, I’ll be gone in a month. Not much different from the shelter, though it is a lot better furnished.” She looked squarely at Brian. “So am I staying or leaving?”
He hated being pushed into a corner, and it was reflexive for him to fight to get out. Yet he had to be careful he didn’t shatter their dreams because he was angry at Carrie. Looking at his wife now, he could see she was worried. About Lisa? About his reaction?
His answer for Lisa came quickly. “You can stay.”
To his surprise, he didn’t see relief on her face, or gratitude. Passing by him, the teenager stopped at the doorway to the living room, turned and threw over her shoulder, “If I decide not to give you the baby, you’ll throw me out, won’t you?”
Carrie rose to her feet. After a look at Brian, she replied softly, “No. You need a place to stay until your baby is born. No matter what happens, that won’t change.”
Lisa looked at Brian. “Does that go for you, too?”
Whatever had gotten into Carrie, this was apparently important to her. “My wife made you a promise. I’ll abide by that.”
If Lisa felt thankful at his words, she didn’t show it. Instead she headed for the guest bedroom next to his study.
After her footsteps had faded away, Brian turned to Carrie. “She’s going to be more than you bargained for.”
“She’s scared. Can’t you see that?”
“No, I can’t. But then she didn’t give me the opportunity to find out much about her. I have lots of questions, Carrie. What kind of baby will we be adopting? What kind of life has she led since she’s been on the streets? Is she taking drugs? Who’s the father? Does she even know?”
Carrie held up a hand to stop the barrage. “She knows who the father is. The caseworker has already contacted him and he’s given up his parental rights. There’s no evidence Lisa has taken drugs. If I can get to know her better, maybe she’ll tell me more. The bottom line is, Brian, if she gives us this child can we love him or her, no matter what, the same as we would our own child?”
“You’re asking a hell of a lot, Carrie. We could have tried in vitro again. A surrogate might even be better than this. At least she’d be screened and the child would be half mine.”
“We tried in vitro twice and it didn’t work. I can’t go through that again, Brian—the waiting, the hoping. And as far as a surrogate goes, can you only father a child that was made with your sperm? Is that what you’re saying?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. There are so many unknown factors here. You made an impulsive decision based on emotion!”
“I made a decision because we want to be parents. It isn’t only Lisa’s baby. I think she has the attitude she does because she thinks we’re trying to use her, that we aren’t going to really care about her. During our interview today, I began caring about her. That’s why I asked her to stay here.”
The truth was, he felt ambushed. He felt as if Carrie had crossed some line that defined them as a couple by making this decision on her own. He knew he hadn’t completely dealt with the disappointment of not raising a child that he and Carrie had created together.
“If you want to give this girl a home for now, we’ll do that. As far as the baby goes, we don’t have to commit to this child until Lisa commits to us. By that time, maybe we’ll have more answers. I know you want her to like us. I know you want her to see us as the best couple to raise her baby. But we can’t pretend to be what we’re not, either.”
“Don’t you think we do pretend sometimes?” Carrie asked quietly.
“Pretend what?”
“Pretend to be happier than we are—at parties, with other couples, even sometimes when we’re alone.”
Her words were as shocking as a plunge into ice water. “Aren’t you happy?”
“I am, but… Since we’ve been trying to have a baby, ever since we’ve had trouble trying to have a baby, things have changed between us. Don’t you feel that?”
Changed? He hadn’t felt anything change until today. After a moment’s consideration, he responded, “I think we’ve both been on a roller-coaster and that’s taken its toll.”
“We’re still on the roller-coaster.”
His wife had never looked so troubled. Even as frustrated as he was with her at this moment, her beauty—inside and out—always got to him. “I guess we are. Somehow we’ll have to figure out how to survive the hills and dips together. Isn’t that what marriage is all about?”
“Yes, it’s just—” Giving him a slight smile she shook her head. “Never mind. I’m going to see if Lisa needs anything.”
Before Carrie could leave the room, Brian clasped her hand.
She stopped and faced him.
“I want you to be happy, Carrie. I want this all to work out.”
“I do, too. I’m afraid of what will happen to us if it doesn’t.”
And then his wife slipped from his grasp.
Brian wished he could read her mind. This adoption obviously meant everything to her. He wondered if he truly knew the reason why.
Three
On Saturday night when Brian entered the kitchen looking for Carrie, he felt a nerve in his jaw work. He immediately caught sight of her speaking to the caterer. She wore a beaded, royal-blue dress with long sleeves and a demure neckline, and he reluctantly admitted his wife had never looked more beautiful. With her hair caught at the nape of her neck in a sleek chignon, a few wavy tendrils framed her face. She’d clasped around her neck a sapphire necklace he’d given her for Christmas, and she looked…like a princess. All she needed was the tiara.
All he needed was a cold shower!
Setting aside the impulse to pull the pins from her hair and mess up her lipstick, he replaced desire with restraint. He didn’t want to need her right now. He was still angry she’d changed the whole dynamic of their lives by inviting Lisa to live with them. They hadn’t made love since before Lisa had arrived. For the past few nights, there had seemed to be an impenetrable fence down the center of their bed.
When Carrie saw him, she finished her consultation with the caterer and crossed to him.
“You’re beautiful tonight.” He couldn’t help complimenting her in spite of the tension between them.
She looked surprised for a moment. “You’re looking quite handsome yourself.”
Just standing here with Carrie now, looking at her, breathing in the classic scent of her perfume, he realized his body was completely aroused. He put the brakes on his libido. “Is everything ready?”
“Just about.”
“Where’s Lisa?”
Carrie looked worried. “She spent most of the day in her room. I made her soup and a salad for lunch.”
After a glance at the caterer, Brian took Carrie by the elbow and shepherded her into the short hallway that led to the garage. “You’re headed for disappointment if you expect anything from that girl. She’s a rebellious teenager. Her story tells you that. She’s not a stray puppy you can bring into the house, feed and pamper and who will love you unconditionally. You’re going to get hurt if you want more from her than a thank-you when she leaves. I don’t even know if she’ll give you that.” As far as he was concerned, Carrie’s soft heart had to be protected, and she needed to see the reality of the situation.
But her response told him she didn’t. “Maybe I’m more hopeful than you are. Maybe I’m hoping to form a bond with her so she can trust me. She’s been hurt, Brian, by her parents’ death, by her boyfriend walking away, by her aunt’s attitude, which seemed to tell her she was a bother.”
“You can’t perform miracles in a month.” Carrie had never before been quite so determined, quite so adamant that she could make a difference.
When Carrie took a step closer to him, there was so much longing in her dark-brown eyes, he couldn’t look away. She touched his set jaw with a caressing stroke that made fireworks shoot through his veins.
“Maybe I can’t perform miracles,” she murmured, “but I need to try.”
Her soft words crumbled his restraint. He couldn’t help but reach out and smooth his hand along the side of Carrie’s face. Her eyes became a deeper brown, and her lips parted ever so slightly. She always responded to his touch and he to hers. Drawing her to him, his lips seared hers. He held on to the passion, kept the kiss short but couldn’t resist stroking her tongue with his. Then he reluctantly released her and stepped away, hungry for her. That hunger never diminished. Yet he kept it in check, and he wasn’t sure why.
The doorbell rang and they could hear it even in the corridor outside of the laundry room.
Breaking eye contact, Carrie glanced under her sleeve at a department-store watch that fit her wrist like a bracelet. It had been a gift from her sisters last Christmas. He could buy her a diamond watch and had offered to, but she preferred wearing this one. He’d realized long ago sentiment meant more to Carrie than quality or monetary value. He was afraid sentiment where Lisa was concerned would hurt them both.
“We have to greet our guests.” She put her fingers to her lips. “I’ll stop in the powder room first.”
When she conjured up a smile, he fought the urge to kiss her all over again.
The doorbell rang once more, and Brian went to the foyer. There were two couples there—the O’Briens and the Hammonds—as well as Derrick Dennehy, who’d obviously come without his wife. That was peculiar since he’d spoken to Derrick the day before yesterday and the lawyer had assured Brian they’d both be there. Maybe Jackie had picked up the flu bug that was going around.
As Carrie joined them and guided the O’Briens and the Hammonds into the living room where hors d’oeuvres were waiting, Derrick held back and grabbed Brian’s arm. After the maid had gone to the kitchen, he said, “Jackie couldn’t make it tonight.”
Something in Derrick’s voice warned Brian it wasn’t a simple flu bug that had kept his wife away.
Adjusting his striped silk tie, Derrick looked uncomfortable. “She moved out yesterday and it looks as if we’ll be getting a divorce. I had no idea this was coming. It came out of the blue.”
The same age as Brian—in their midthirties—Derrick and Jackie had been married after their college graduation.
“Out of the blue?”
Derrick shook his head in exasperation. “You’d think I’d know a woman after living with her for twelve years. But then she said that was the problem. She maintains I haven’t really been living with her all these years. I’ve been spending too many nights in my office, too many weekends out of town drumming up more business so she could drive that fancy new Italian sports car. Now she tells me she’s met someone who makes her the center of his world. I don’t know how he can do that and work, too!”
Abruptly Derrick shook his head. “I didn’t mean to go into all that. You’re the first person I’ve told.”
“I’m sorry, Derrick. Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes. Put together this deal in Alaska. It will give me something else to think about. The contracts to develop it would keep me busy for the next few months.”
As an attorney, Derrick took care of much of the legal work that came up with the projects Brian coordinated. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Carrie raised questioning eyes to Brian as he and Derrick entered the living room. Brian gave a slight shake of his head, and when neither he nor Derrick explained why Jackie wasn’t present, Carrie understood she should stay away from that topic.
It wasn’t until Ted Hammond, Rob O’Brien and Derrick were engaged in business conversation and Ted and Rob’s wives had escaped to freshen up in the powder room, that Brian took Carrie aside out of earshot of everyone to explain, “Jackie left Derrick.”
Carrie was shocked. “You’re not serious.”
“He never saw it coming. She found someone else.” To Brian, that was what it boiled down to.
Because Carrie looked pensive, Brian asked, “Did you know? Did she say anything to you?” The circle of women who ran the foundation boards Carrie served on included Jackie.
“When I had lunch with her before Christmas, she’d been unusually quiet. In the past she’s mentioned that she’s been lonely and Derrick is never home.”
“Well, he wasn’t seeing other women. He was working.”
Brian knew his tone was defensive, but he was identifying with Derrick. He added, “She belonged to as many committees as you do. I don’t understand how she could be lonely.”
“Committees and volunteer work are not the same thing as intimate time with a spouse.”
Intimate time. Time in bed when a husband and wife coupled? Or was Carrie talking about conversations over dinner for two, an impromptu visit to the zoo, a walk in the rain? They hadn’t done any of those for a long time.
Peggy O’Brien and Carla Hammond were laughing as they came into the foyer. Peggy patted Carrie’s shoulder. “My, my, my. You two look much too serious. Is there a problem?”
Brian could see his wife consciously relax and find a smile for her guests. Once, she’d told him she’d had training in relaxation techniques. He supposed that had something to do with learning to pose for the camera.
Now he could almost believe she wasn’t still thinking about their conversation as she said to Peggy, “Dinner will be ready any minute. You can have your choice of wines to go with the seafood Newburgh and prime rib. The server will explain the merits of each. Let’s gather everyone and go into the dining room.”
Brian marveled at Carrie’s ease in turning the conversation to their guests. His wife definitely had tact. Maybe that came from having to referee three sisters vying for her parents’ attention.
However, although Carrie had changed the subject smoothly, it hadn’t left Brian’s mind—neither Derrick’s situation nor his wife’s comments.
