скачать книгу бесплатно
She drew in a sharp breath as she put her napkin aside. ‘Look—I understand your frustration and despair over your daughter’s condition but I hardly see that I’m in any way to blame.’
He pushed back from his chair so quickly the glasses on the table rattled. ‘You lied to me,’ he said through tight lips. ‘You lied to me from the moment we met.’
Eliza rose to her feet rather than have him tower over her so menacingly. ‘You lied to yourself, Leo. You wanted a wife and you chose the first woman to fit your checklist.’
‘Why did you come on to me in that bar that night?
She found it hard to hold his burning gaze. ‘I was at a loose end. I was jet-lagged and lonely. I have no other excuse. I would never do something like that normally. I can’t really explain it even now.’
‘Let me tell you why you did it.’ His top lip curled in disdain. ‘You were feeling horny. Your fiancé was thousands of miles away. You needed a stand-in stud to scratch your itch.’
‘Stop it!’ Eliza clamped her hands over her ears. ‘Stop saying such horrible things.’
He pulled her hands down from her face, his fingers like handcuffs around her wrists. The blood sizzled in her veins at the contact. She felt every pore of her skin flare to take more of him in. Her inner core contracted as her body remembered how it had felt to have him thrusting inside her. His first possession four years ago had been rough, almost animalistic and yet she had relished every heart-stopping, pulse-racing second of it.
‘You still want it, don’t you?’
‘No,’ she said but her body was already betraying her. It moved towards him, searching for him, hungering for him, aching for him.
‘Liar.’ He brought her chin up, his eyes blazing with fiery intent.
‘Don’t do this,’ she said but she wasn’t sure if she was pleading with him or herself.
‘You still want me. I saw it that first day when I came to your flat.’
‘You’re wrong.’ She tried to deny it even as her pelvis brushed against his in feverish need.
He grasped her by the bottom and pushed her hard into his arousal. ‘That’s what you want, isn’t it? You’re desperate for it, just like you were four years ago.’
Eliza tried to push him away but it was like a stick insect trying to shift a skyscraper from its foundations. ‘Stop it,’ she begged. ‘Please stop saying that.’ A bubble of emotion rose in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but it refused to go away. She didn’t want to break down in front of him. She hated that weakness in her, the one where she became overwhelmed and crumbled emotionally. It was the abandoned little seven-year-old girl in her who did that.
She wasn’t that little girl any more.
She was strong and independent.
She had to be strong.
She had to survive.
She had to withstand the temptation of losing herself in the sensual world of Leo Valente, the one man who could dismantle her carefully constructed emotional armour. Her armour had been just fine until he had come along. It had always stood her in good stead. But now it was peeling off her like a sloughed skin, leaving her exposed and raw and vulnerable.
‘I’m sorry…’ She squeezed her eyes tightly closed for a moment. ‘I just need a little minute…’
He dropped his hold as if she had suddenly burned him. ‘Save your tears.’ He scraped a hand through his hair. ‘It’s not your pity I’m after.’
Eliza forced her eyes back to his hardened cynical gaze. ‘Right now I’m having a little trouble figuring out what it is you actually want from me.’
‘I told you. I want you to fill in for Kathleen. That’s all I want.’
She watched as he strode to the other side of the room, his movements like his words: clipped and tense. Was it true? Was that all he wanted from her? What if he wanted more? Wasn’t it too late? An unbridgeable chasm separated them. He’d had a child with another woman. She was still tied to another man. Even if they wanted to be together, how could she desert Ewan when it was her fault he was sitting drooling in that chair?
Maybe this was about revenge. It pained her to think Leo would stoop to that. Was he so bitter that he had to make her suffer? What good would it do to either of them to spend a month at war over what had happened four years ago? It wouldn’t change anything. Their history would still be the same. Their future would still be hopelessly unattainable.
‘You should go to bed.’ Leo turned to look at her again. ‘Alessandra is not an easy child to manage. You’ll need all your reserves to handle her.’
‘I’m used to dealing with difficult children,’ Eliza said. ‘I’ve made a career out of it.’
‘Indeed you have.’ He gave her a brief on-off movement of his lips that was a paltry imitation of a smile. ‘Goodnight, Eliza.’
She felt as if she was being dismissed again. It didn’t sit comfortably with her. She wanted to spend more time with him, getting to know the man he was now. Understanding the agony he was going through in handling a blind, motherless child. He seemed lonely and isolated. She could see it now that she knew what had put that guarded look in his eyes and that tension in the way he held his body. Who was helping him deal with his little girl’s disability? Was anyone supporting him? She had met parents of special needs kids before. They carried a huge weight of responsibility on their shoulders. They had told her how shocking and devastating it had been to find they were now members of a club they had never intended to join: the autism club, the hearing impaired club, the learning disabled club—the not quite perfect club. And in most cases it wasn’t a temporary membership.
It was for life.
‘Leo…’ She took a step towards him but then stopped when she saw the dark glitter of his gaze. ‘I think it’s important for Alessandra if she senses that we are friends rather than enemies.’
‘How do you propose we do that?’
Eliza felt the mesmerising pull of his gaze. He was so close she could see the dark pepper of his stubble and her fingers twitched to reach up and feel its sexy rasp against her fingertips. She looked at his mouth, her stomach clenching as she remembered how passionately those lips could kiss and conquer hers. Her insides coiled as she thought of how he had explored every inch of her body with his lips and tongue. Was he remembering it too? Was he replaying every erotic scene in his head and feeling the reaction reverberate through his body? ‘I…I think it’s important we be civil to each other…’
‘Civil?’ Those fathomless dark eyes burned and seared as they held hers.
‘Yes…civil…polite…that sort of thing.’ She swallowed a tight little restriction in her throat. ‘There’s no need for us to be trading insults. We’re both mature adults and I think it’s best if we try and act as if we…um, like each other…a bit…at least while we’re in the presence of Alessandra.’
‘And what about when we are alone?’ One of his brows lifted in a sardonic arc. ‘Are we to continue to pretend to like each other—a bit?’
Something about his tone sent a shiver to the base of Eliza’s spine. Being alone with him was something she was going to have to avoid as much as possible. The temptation of being in his arms had always been her downfall. Hadn’t his rough embrace just proved it? He had only to touch her and her body burst into hungry flames of need. He said he didn’t want her, but she saw the glitter of lust in his eyes. He could deny it all he liked but she could feel it like a third presence in the room. It hovered there between them, a silent but ever-present reminder of every erotic interlude they had shared.
His body knew hers intimately.
He knew how responsive she was to his touch. He knew how to make her flesh hum and sing. His touch on her body was like a delicate, priceless instrument being played by a maestro. No one could make her body respond the way he did. He was doing it now just by looking at her with that dark assessing gaze. It stroked her as it moved over her body. She felt the fizz and tingle of her lips as his gaze lingered there as if he was recalling how they had felt against his own. She felt a prickly stirring in her breasts when his gaze moved over them. Was he remembering how her tight nipples had felt against his teeth and tongue? Was he remembering how she had whimpered in pleasure as his teeth had sexily grazed her sensitive flesh? She felt the heat of arousal between her thighs even without him lowering his gaze that far. Was he remembering how it had felt to plunge his body into hers until they had both careened into mindless oblivion?
‘I’m not here to spend time alone with you.’ She gave him an arch look. ‘I’m here to look after your daughter. That’s what I’m being paid to do, isn’t it?’
His gaze was inscrutable but she could see a tiny muscle clenching on and off in his jaw. ‘Indeed it is.’ He moved to the door. ‘I’m going out for a short while. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.’
‘Where are you going?’ She mentally grimaced. She hadn’t meant to sound like a waspish wife checking up on him.
He gave her a satirical look. ‘Where do you think I might be going?’
Eliza felt her stomach plummet in despair. He had a mistress. No wonder he had pulled away from her. He already had someone else who saw to those needs. Who was she? Was it someone local? Had he set her up in a villa close by? Please don’t let it be their villa—the villa where she had spent those blissful three weeks with him.
She set her mouth in a contemptuous line. ‘Nice to see you haven’t let the minor inconvenience of widowhood and single parenthood get in the way of your sex life.’
His dark eyes glinted warningly. ‘You are not being paid to comment on any aspect of my private life.’
‘Did you get her to sign a confidentiality agreement too?’ She threw him an icy glare. ‘Did you pay her heaps and heaps of money to keep her mouth shut and her legs open?’
The silence was so tense it rang like the high-pitched whistle of a cheap kettle.
Eliza felt his anger. It was billowing in the air between them like invisible smoke. It sucked all the oxygen out of the room until she found it hard to breathe. She had overstepped the mark. She had let her emotions gallop out of control. She had revealed her vulnerability to him.
‘Isn’t jealousy a little inconsistent of you, given you’re wearing another man’s ring?’ he asked in a deceptively calm tone.
She forced herself to hold his gaze. ‘Relationships are not meant to be business contracts. You can’t do that to people. It’s not right.’
His lip curled mockingly. ‘Let me get this straight—you’re telling me what’s right and wrong?’
She drew in a sharp breath to try to harness her spiralling emotions. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of my business who you see or what arrangements you make in order to see them.’
‘You’re damn right it’s none of your business.’
Eliza bit down on her lip as he strode out of the room, flinching when he clipped the door shut behind him. The sound of his car roaring to life outside was like a glancing blow to her heart. She listened to him drive out of the villa grounds, her imagination already torturing her with where he was going and what he would be doing when he got there.
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_5226a671-dd78-54a9-8698-9a2b638b7b1e)
LEO UNMOORED HIS motor launch and motored out to a favourite spot where he could look back at the twinkling lights fringing the Amalfi coast. He dropped anchor and sat on the deck, listening to the gentle slap of the water against the hull and the musical clanging of the rigging against the mast of a distant yacht as the onshore breeze passed through. A gibbous moon cast a silver glow across the crinkled surface of the ocean. It was the closest he got to peace these days, out here on the water.
It was laughably ironic that Eliza thought he was off bedding a mistress. He hadn’t been with anyone since Giulia had died ten months ago. Not that his relationship with her had been fulfilling in that department. He had tried to make it work a couple of times in the early days, but he had always known she was lying there wishing he were someone else.
Hadn’t he done the same?
He hadn’t wanted to hurt her by treating her as a substitute, so in the end they had agreed on a sexless arrangement. He could have had affairs; Giulia had told him to do whatever he had to do and she would turn a blind eye, but he hadn’t pursued it. He had the normal urges of any other man his age, but he had ignored them to focus on his responsibilities as a parent and his ever-demanding career.
But his physical reaction to Eliza was a pretty potent reminder that he couldn’t go on ignoring the needs of his body. He had wanted her so badly it had taken every ounce of self-control not to back her up against the nearest wall and do what they both did so well together. His groin was still tingling with the sensation of her body jammed tightly against his. He had felt the soft press of her beautiful breasts against his chest. He had desperately wanted to cover her mouth with his, to rediscover those sensual contours, to taste the hot sweetness of her.
He had intended to keep his distance during her short stay. He had been so confident he would be able to keep things on a business level between them. But, reflecting on it now, he could see how that call from Kathleen when he was in London for his meeting had completely thrown him. He was used to having his life carefully controlled. His domestic arrangements ran like clockwork. He had come to rely heavily on his staff, almost forgetting they had lives and families and issues of their own. When Kathleen had begged him for some time off he’d had to think on his feet and the first person he had thought of was Eliza. He’d told himself it was because she was a talented teacher and used to handling difficult and needy children. But what if the subconscious part of him had made the decision for a completely different reason?
He still wanted her.
Who was he kidding? Of course he still wanted her. But would a month be enough to end this torment that plagued him? Those three weeks he’d had with her had never left his memory. He could recall almost every passionate moment they had spent together. The memory of her body lived in his flesh. When he looked at her he felt his blood stir. He felt his heart rate rise. He felt his skin tingle in anticipation of her silky touch. The need to possess her was a persistent ache. Seeing her again had brought it all back. The blistering passion she evoked in him. The heat and fire of her response that made him feel as if she was his perfect mate—that there was no one else out there who could make him feel the way she did. It was going to be impossible to ignore the desire he had for her when every time he came within touching distance of her his body reacted so powerfully.
But wouldn’t an affair with her create more problems, which he could do without right now?
On the other hand, he was used to compartmentalising his life. He could file his relationship with her into the temporary basket. Wasn’t that what she would want? It wasn’t as if she was going to end her engagement for him. She’d had four years to do so and yet she hadn’t.
He didn’t understand how she could sell herself so short. What was she getting out of her relationship with her fiancé that she couldn’t get with him? He had offered her riches beyond measure, a lifetime of love and commitment, and yet she had thrown it back in his face. Why? What tied her to a man who still hadn’t married her? He didn’t even live with her. What hold did he have over her? Or was Eliza keeping a ‘fiancé’ up her sleeve so she could flit in and out of any shallow little hook-up that took her fancy? The ring she wore didn’t look like a modern design. What if she just wore it for show? What if it was her get-out prop? ‘Sorry, but I’m already taken’ was a very good way of getting out of a relationship that had run its course. She might have picked the ring up at a pawn shop for all he knew. If there was an actual fiancé Leo was almost certain she wasn’t in love with him. How could she be when she looked at him with such raw longing? He was sure he wasn’t imagining it. From the first moment he had laid eyes on her he had felt an electric connection that was beyond anything he had felt before or since.
But this time he wouldn’t be offering her anything but an affair. He gave a twisted smile. A shallow hook-up was what he would offer. He would set the rules. He would set the boundaries and he would enforce them if he had to. He would not think about the morality of it. If she was willing to betray her fiancé—if there was one—then it was nothing to do with him.
She could always say no.
By two a.m. Eliza had given up on the notion of sleeping. It wasn’t the jetlag or the strange bed. It was the restlessness of her body that was keeping her from slumber. A milky drink usually did the trick but could she risk running into Leo by going downstairs to get one? She hadn’t heard him return, but then, why would he need to? He had plenty of staff to keep his household running while he indulged in an off-site affair with his latest mistress.
Eliza slipped on a wrap and went downstairs. There was enough moonlight coming in through the windows to light her way. Just as she was taking the last step down, the front door opened. She gave a little startled gasp and put her hand up to the throat where her heart seemed to have jumped. ‘Leo?’
He gave her a wry look. ‘Who else were you expecting?’
Eliza pursed her lips. ‘I wasn’t expecting anyone. And I wasn’t waiting up for you, either.’
A mocking glint shone in his dark eyes. ‘Of course not.’
She jutted her chin at him. ‘I was on my way to the kitchen to get a hot drink.’
‘Don’t let me stop you.’
Eliza looked at his tousled hair. Bed hair. Just had wild sex hair. It maddened her to think he could just waltz in and parade his sexual conquests like a badge of honour. ‘How was your evening? Did it live up to your expectations?’
Even in the muted light she could see the way his mouth was slanted with a cat-that-got-the-canary smile. ‘It was very pleasurable.’
Jealousy was like an arrow to her belly. How could he stand there and be so…so blatant about it?
‘I just bet it was.’
‘You would know.’
Her brows shot together. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
His smile had tilted even further to give him a devilish look. ‘You’ve had first-hand experience at spending many a pleasurable evening with me, have you not?’
Eliza tightened her mouth. She didn’t want to be reminded of the nights she had spent rolling and screaming with pleasure in his bed. She had spent the last four years trying to forget. She threw him a dismissive look. ‘Sorry to burst the bubble on your ego, but you haven’t left that much of an impression on me. I can barely recall anything about our affair other than I was relieved when it was over.’
‘You’re lying.’
Eliza gave him a flinty glare. ‘That’s what really irks you, isn’t it, Leo? It still rankles even after all this time. I was the first woman to ever say no to you. You could have anyone you wanted but you couldn’t have me.’
‘I could have you.’ His eyes burned with primal intent. ‘I could have you right now and we both know it.’
She gave a scornful laugh that belied the shockingly shaky ground she was desperately trying to stand on. ‘I’d like to see you try.’
His eyes scorched hers as he closed the distance between them in a lazy stroll that sent an anticipatory shiver dancing down the length of her spine. She knew that look. It made her blood race through the circuitry of her veins like high-octane fuel. It made her heart thud with excitement and her legs tremble like a tripod on an uneven floor. It made her core clench with an ache that had no cure other than the driving force of his body.
He took her by the upper arms, his fingers digging into her flesh with almost brutal strength. ‘You should know me well enough by now to know how foolish it is to throw a gauntlet down like that before me.’
Eliza suppressed another little shiver as she flashed him a defiant look. ‘I’m not scared of you.’
His fingers tightened even further as he jerked her hard against him. ‘Then perhaps you should be.’ And then his mouth swooped down and slammed against hers.
It was a bruising kiss but Eliza was beyond caring. The crush of his mouth on hers brought all of her suppressed longings to the surface of her body like lava out of a volcano. She felt the raw need on her lips where his were pressed so forcefully. She felt it in her breasts as they were pushed up against his chest. She felt it unfurling deep in her core, that twisting, twirling, torturous ache that was moving throughout her body at breakneck speed.
How had she gone for so long without feeling this feverish rush of passion? It was like waking up after a decade of sleep. Every pore of her skin was alive and sensitised. Every muscle and sinew was crying out for the stroke and glide of his touch.
His tongue stroked hers until she was whimpering at the back of her throat. His hands were still hard on her upper arms, his fingertips gripping her with bruising force, but she relished in the feel of his commanding hold. His proudly aroused body was pressed intimately against her. She felt the hard ridge of him against the femininity of her body. The barrier of their clothes was torture. She wanted him naked and inside her, filling her, stretching her—making her feel alive in a way no one else could. She moved against him, speaking in a silent and primal feminine language that was universal.
But, instead of answering the call to mate, he dropped his hold and pulled back from her. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth as if to remove the taste of her. It was a deliberately insulting gesture and she wanted to slap him for it. But she would rather die than show him how much he had hurt her.
‘You’ve certainly got the Neanderthal routine down pat,’ she said, pushing back her hair with a flick of her hand. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t haul me upstairs by the hair to your lair.’
His dark eyes mocked her. ‘Surprised or disappointed?’
