Tessa's Gift

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“Rufus. And I’m Tessa.” She joined him on the floor and ran her own fingers over Rufus’s fur.

“I’m Jeremy.” He was quiet for a minute, but he kept rubbing his hand up and down Rufus. “I had a dog once,” he finally offered. “She died.”

Tessa clicked her tongue in disappointment. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. That’s tough, losing a pet. But I bet another animal would love to come and live with you.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. Rufus seemed to sense the boy’s disappointment. The dog rolled himself back over and stood up on all fours, looking at Jeremy with sad eyes.

Suddenly, Jeremy reached out and wrapped his arms around the dog’s neck. Rufus just stood there and let himself be squeezed. It seemed to cheer Jeremy up. After a minute, he released her bulldog and stood back up. He was smiling.

His mother had concluded whatever business she’d come in for and had turned to leave. “Jeremy, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” He stroked Rufus’s back one last time before standing. “See ya later, Rufus.”

As he faced the door, his mom looked over her shoulder to mouth a “Thank you” to Tessa.

She nodded and stood. Diana was watching her.

“That was good for Jeremy. He’s had it rough the last year.”

“Oh?”

“His dad was abusive. Beat the boy up pretty badly before his aunt there alerted the authorities and took him in. She’s thinking of getting him another dog. He hasn’t said what happened, but I suspect the father got rid of his last pet.”

The story tugged at her heart. She had assumed the woman was the boy’s mother. “That’s awful.”

Diana agreed. “Leave it to Rufus to cheer him up, though. There’s nothing quite so healing as the love of a dog,” she wisely imparted.

Rufus looked up at Tessa then, his soulful eyes wide. It was then that Tessa had an idea. One that would not only benefit the hospital’s patients but maybe soften Noah, as well. It wasn’t her job to banish his demons—she knew that. But she’d been hired to elevate goodwill and recognition for the hospital. How could she promote a doctor who didn’t believe there was hope, especially for himself? She had to help Noah see there was value in promoting his work and the hospital’s programs. And Diana had just given her a clue on how to do it.

“Diana, you’re brilliant.”

The older woman threw her a glance. “Well, thank you, honey. I think you’re pretty special, too.”

“I’ve gotta go. Maybe I can swing by this weekend and help you guys out.”

She clipped Rufus’s leash on and hurried toward the doors.

“That would be great, honey. How about Saturday?” Diana called after her, and Tessa gave her a thumbs-up. But she was already pulling her cell phone from her pocket as she stepped outside, thumbing through the contacts for Ana’s number. She knew she should probably wait and speak with her boss in person, but she didn’t want to lose a minute on this idea.

* * *

NOAH KNEW SOMETHING was amiss from the moment he stepped off the elevator to begin his shift. During the day, the pediatric oncology ward usually had a constant background noise, including the hum of conversation, the beep and buzz of hospital equipment, but also children’s chatter and laughter. It never ceased to amaze him, the resiliency of children. Even while they were in a battle for their lives, kids managed to smile, to laugh, to remain upbeat no matter what they faced. That was not to say they weren’t afraid. Noah was well acquainted with the fear they experienced daily. But somehow, they managed to find tiny things to be happy about.

Ginny had been the same way. He and Julia lost their smiles long before she did. They scraped together just enough optimism to keep up a hopeful front for their daughter. But Ginny had seen through them. She was the one who had often worked at holding them together. Even when she was dying, the disease taking over her body by insistent inches, she’d done her best to smile.

“Sing to me, Daddy,” she used to say.

She loved “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” even after she had long outgrown it. She liked to see him do the hand motions, and she would laugh when his fingers inevitably tangled together. He swallowed hard at the memory. He would give anything, all that he owned and more, just to hear Ginny laugh one more time.

But today the ward was too quiet. He cocked his head, listening, and there was noise—it was just concentrated to a single area. What in the world was going on?

He checked his phone as he stepped down the hall, drifting toward the sound with a mild curiosity. When the nurses’ station came into view, he found it empty. Where had all his staff disappeared to?

A few more steps, and he had his answer. A crowd had formed in the children’s playroom area. The room was full of people, and a few were even spilling out into the hall. He experienced a moment’s panic. Had something happened to one of his patients? Why hadn’t he been called? And why was everyone congregating here?

He began pushing through the crowd, not bothering to apologize. The group shifted around him, and he heard a few people offer greetings, but he ignored them. If one of the kids was in trouble...

He emerged from the edge of the crowd into an open area of the playroom. No one was hurt or in need of care. On the contrary, the group of kids huddled on the floor were all smiling. His gaze shifted to Tessa Worth. She was seated beside the kids, her face beaming. She hadn’t seen him, but his heart jerked at the sight of her. How was it that this woman was upending his carefully ordered world at every turn?

He was just about to ask what was going on when he saw...it. He blinked, disbelieving. No. She couldn’t have... No one had informed him... He narrowed his eyes as the children giggled. But there was no denying what was right in front of him. The dog, a mixed breed resembling a border collie, was wagging her tail and preening with all the attention. How many pets did this woman own? And what made her think it was okay to bring them into his hospital?

He cleared his throat. “Ms. Worth.” He finally had her attention. “Perhaps I could have a word?”

She smiled, but it looked uneasy.

“Of course,” she said. She turned to someone, a woman he didn’t recognize. “Linda, if you or Viva need anything, just let one of the nurses know.”

The woman nodded and then turned her attention back to the dog. Noah belatedly realized that Linda must be the animal’s owner. So apparently the dog did not belong to Tessa after all. It was a minor point, he decided, as he took her arm to steer her through the crowd.

It was a mistake to touch her. He was all too aware of the softness of her skin beneath his palm. It wasn’t until they were past the group that he realized how tightly he held her. As if she had suddenly realized it, too, she tugged her arm free.

“What can I do for you, Dr. Brennan?” she asked, a trifle too sweetly.

He didn’t want to discuss the situation in the hall. They were still too near to the crowd, and he didn’t relish a repeat of the previous week’s performance, when their argument had grown all too heated within full view of the staff and patients.

“I would appreciate it if you’d accompany me to Ana’s office,” he stated, doing his best to keep his tone professional.

She frowned. “If you like.”

He turned and started in the direction of the elevator. He sensed her follow. They were silent as they waited for the elevator, the tension growing with every second that passed. His ire built.

“How long have you had this planned?” he asked as the elevator car arrived.

“What do you mean?” she replied, too lightly.

He stepped inside the elevator, and after a beat, she followed. They rode to the first floor in silence, making their way across the atrium and into the office area. He walked up to Ana’s door and with a perfunctory knock, swung it wide.

Ana looked up from where she was seated at her desk, a pen hovering over whatever notes she’d been making. If she was startled by the intrusion, she didn’t show it.

“Noah,” she greeted and then shifted her attention. “Tessa. How are you both today?”

He didn’t waste time with niceties.

“There is a dog in my cancer ward.”

Ana blinked.

“A therapy dog,” Tessa put in. “Like we discussed.”

Ana and Tessa shared what he could only describe as “a look” with some sort of secret communication passing between them.

“I wasn’t informed about any sort of therapy dogs. Because if I had been, I would have pointed out that studies show there is very little benefit to having animals in a cancer ward. It is possible they might even do more harm than good, by bringing in outside germs—”

“Those studies also admit that the presence of pets lowers cortisol levels and takes the patients’ minds off the stressors of their treatment,” Tessa cut him off. “I contacted the national Alliance of Therapy Dogs to find a properly trained animal, and they recommended Linda and Viva to us. ATD is well aware of the requirements of medical facilities, and their members are required to go through the necessary clearances in addition to a yearly evaluation—”

“Hold on.” He swiveled his gaze back to Ana. “You agreed to this? Without getting my approval?”

Ana arched an eyebrow. “I’ll remind you, Dr. Brennan, that I don’t need your permission to do my job.”

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Tessa’s shoulders relax. They tightened again when Ana shifted her gaze to the other woman.

“However, I assumed Tessa consulted with you before I gave her the green light. I was told she informed you of her plans.”

“I sent you an email about it,” Tessa lamely defended.

“An email?” he gritted out.

Noah wondered if she had chosen that communication method solely because he avoided any items in his inbox that weren’t directly related to his patients’ care. Tessa had probably figured that out by now since he never replied to anything else.

“Well, if I had brought it to you in person, you would have shot it down.”

“So you decided to circumvent me altogether?”

“I wasn’t circumventing you! Email is the accepted form of communication for most office correspondence.”

“If it doesn’t relate directly to my patients—”

“Aha! But see, this email did relate directly to your patients. You just chose to ignore it because it had ‘publicity’ in the subject line.”

“Which you knew I would do!”

“If you’d just give Linda and Viva a chance, you’d see how great this could be—not only for your patients but for you, too.”

“For me? How is having animals on my oncology floor going to help me?”

Ana cleared her throat. They turned their attention in her direction and she leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest.

“Tessa has a point. Animal therapy is a great idea. Not only is it beneficial for the children, but it earns us some positive publicity. I was pleased she suggested it.”

Noah could practically feel Tessa radiating satisfaction over Ana’s praise.

“However.” Ana’s gaze became steely. “I expect the two of you to work in unison on these projects. Tessa, you should have consulted Dr. Brennan and received his input rather than leading me to believe he was on board. Though, granted, I should have known better than to assume you had his buy-in.”

“I understand, and I apologize,” Tessa said, “but I’d just like to point out how much the children are loving the therapy dog.”

“Any child loves a zoo, but I hardly think it’s appropriate to host one in an oncology ward,” he pointed out.

Ana shot him a warning look. “One dog does not constitute a zoo,” she said. “The therapy dog program is a great idea, and I chose to run with it because it is not only beneficial to the patients but the hospital as a whole. I’m sorry that Tessa didn’t fully loop you in on the idea, but I’m sure that oversight will not happen again.”

Tessa looked suitably chastened. “No. No, it won’t,” Tessa agreed. “I’ll be sure to include Dr. Brennan in all decisions going forward...in person.”

Ana nodded her approval, and Noah recognized it was time he also conceded defeat.

For all his stubbornness, he was no match for these two women, especially if they were united. And truthfully, would it be so bad to have therapy dogs occasionally visiting the ward? He remembered early on in Ginny’s treatments a hospital staff member had brought a bunny around. Ginny had been delighted. It hadn’t changed the outcome of her treatments, and she’d still been stressed about her chemotherapy that day, but for a few minutes, she’d been able to put aside her worry and just be a kid again.

The memory settled some of his anger. Perhaps Ana and Tessa had a point.

“Fine,” he bit out. “But any issues that arise are her responsibility—” he pointed to Tessa “—not mine.”

“Agreed,” Ana said.

He had the sense that Tessa wanted to say something more. But what else was there to be said? She’d won, this round at least.

* * *

TESSA SHOULD HAVE felt validated by the discussion in Ana’s office, but in truth, she felt awful.

After Noah left the room, Ana had questioned her on how the patients were reacting to the therapy dog, and Tessa shared what a great success the idea had turned out to be. The kids loved it, and the parents were thrilled. The nurses and other staff had found excuses to stop in and pet the dog.

Linda and Viva would be in the hospital for a few more hours visiting patients’ individual rooms, if the families wanted to participate.

Noah was the only one who had responded negatively to the animal’s presence. Tessa couldn’t say she was surprised by his reaction, but a part of her was disappointed. She’d hoped that Dr. Brennan would exhibit a little humanity, a softening of his hard exterior, and give her a glimpse of the man beneath.

She realized she had lingered too long in Ana’s office, musing on Noah Brennan and his jaded view of the world.

“I know Dr. Brennan is a challenge, but I would encourage you to be patient where he is concerned.”

Tessa raised her head. “Because he’s a brilliant doctor.” She said it as a statement of fact, assuming that was what Ana meant. But to her surprise, her boss hesitated.

“That’s one reason, admittedly.” She frowned, seeming to struggle. “But it’s more than that. Noah is not only a good doctor, he’s a good man.”

Tessa found this an odd remark. “I never meant to imply he isn’t,” she said. Just because they’d gotten off to a rough start, and he seemed to have a particular dislike for her—or at least, for her role as the marketing and PR coordinator—that didn’t make him an uncaring person. It was part of what confused her so much about him.

Noah seemed to care a great deal for his patients, even if he didn’t show it to them. He spent many unnecessary hours at the hospital, she’d found, reviewing charts and reading up on the latest cancer treatment research. She believed his explanation that he found all of her efforts to be distractions from what he was meant to be doing: treating children. He was surly and overbearing, but that didn’t make him a bad man.

“I know he can be challenging,” Ana went on, “but keep in mind that his demands of others pale in comparison to what he demands from himself.”

She sensed Ana was trying to tell her something that she couldn’t voice aloud, whether for confidentiality reasons or private ones.

“Just try not to take his attitude personally. It’s not about you. You’re doing a fantastic job, and the therapy dog program is a great idea. Noah will get on board with it, in time.”

“Mmm.” She didn’t want to disagree with Ana, especially being so new to the job. But she was pretty sure the handsome doctor did have some personal dislike of her. But regardless of how they clashed personally, as he’d said, they were professionals. They could surely find their footing in a working relationship even if they’d never be, as he put it, “best friends.”

She only wished she didn’t have to fight him every step of the way.

“I’m sure it will work out just fine,” she finally offered.

But as she left her boss’s office, she couldn’t help thinking that there was no way Noah was ever going to believe they were on the same side.

CHAPTER FIVE

AFTER THE DOG INCIDENT, Noah had to concede that Tessa’s ideas had merit.

So he decided to experiment, based on Tessa’s criticisms, and tried smiling as he spoke to his patients. But he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled. This observation in and of itself was startling. He could still smile, couldn’t he? Maybe he couldn’t. Maybe Ginny’s and Julia’s deaths had stolen his ability to ever do something as simple as smile ever again.

But he had to try. When he entered Madison Ryan’s room, he did so with a grin on his face.

By the look on her and her mother’s faces, he didn’t succeed too well. He caught his reflection in the mirror that sat over the nearby sink and nearly jumped. His smile resembled a creepy leer. He immediately smoothed out his facial features and tried for something more relaxed instead of so ridiculously upbeat. It seemed to make Maddy and her mother more comfortable. He’d have to practice smiling in private, in front of a mirror, before he tried it again with a patient.

He began sharing the latest update on Maddy’s condition, offering up blood cell counts and other test results. The news was positive, but Maddy and her mother only stared at him uneasily. Though they seemed to understand this news didn’t mean the little girl was cured, he felt the need to add, “I should caution you not to get too excited just yet since we still have a long road ahead.”

The pair was silent. He stopped, thinking of Tessa. What would she say about his gloomy outlook for this child? How had he felt, as a parent, when Ginny’s doctors delivered such updates? Of course, he’d understood the terminology better than most, given his background. But he remembered that he’d taken every scrap of hope that was offered to him at the time, feeding the will to go on, to keep fighting for his daughter’s sake.

He might not believe in hope now. Not anymore. But did he have the right to withhold it from others? Maybe Tessa had a point. Would it be so bad to give his patients the opportunity to enjoy their successes?

“So...” He cleared his throat. “We still have a battle to fight, but these test results are good news.”

He watched as some of the tension eased from Mrs. Ryan’s shoulders.

“This is a win,” he tried again. “And you should celebrate.”

The change was instant. Maddy beamed as her mom leaned down to embrace her. There were tears of happiness in her eyes as she straightened.

“Thank you, Dr. Brennan. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for all that you’re doing for my little girl.”

For a moment, he wanted to correct her, to let her know he didn’t deserve such praise. But instead he motioned to the child. “Maddy’s the one with the hardest job. And she’s doing great at it.”

His patient’s grin widened even more, and warmth bloomed in his chest. It felt startlingly good to see those smiles, to focus on this win with them. He realized that this victory was much the same as what Tessa was attempting with the dog-therapy program.

He was still averse to the idea of animals in a hospital. The environment should be kept sterile, especially in a cancer ward where the patients’ immune systems were already so heavily taxed. But he appreciated what Tessa was trying to do. She wanted to boost the kids’ spirits, take their minds off their pain, no matter how briefly.

As Maddy’s mother ran her palm over her daughter’s patchy hair and murmured words of encouragement, something shifted inside of Noah—something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Before he could consider it too closely, he heard someone say his name.

“Dr. Brennan?”

He turned, already sensing her there. Tessa Worth.

“Could I have a moment of your time?” The soft plea in her voice stirred something else in his chest. He nearly offered a sharp reply, but he caught himself. Did she really deserve his scorn? She was only doing her job, after all. Why was he giving her such a hard time? Because it inconvenienced him? Or was it something else?

He didn’t really want to consider the answers to some of those questions. But neither did he wish to punish her for doing what she thought was right.

“I can be with you in a couple of minutes. Why don’t you wait for me in my office?”

She nodded and before she left, offered a smile to Maddy and her mother. He marveled at how easily she could do it. And her smile was beautiful, warm and welcoming. Everything about her was kind and caring.

He shook himself, frowning at his own distraction.

“Well.” He cleared his throat. “Maddy, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, okay?”

She nodded, a lingering grin keeping her face bright and hopeful. On impulse, he held up a hand. Her mouth dropped slightly, and then she beamed as she smacked her palm against his in a high five.

Before he could pull his arm away, her mother grabbed it.

“Dr. Brennan. Thank you.” There were tears shining in her eyes.

Both mother and daughter looked as if he’d handed them a gift. It wounded him, as much as it warmed him. He knew the dark place they were living in. He knew what it was to be on their side of this conversation, how desperately he’d clung to every reassurance, how he’d convinced himself that Ginny would win the fight.

The reminder nearly made him issue a warning, cautioning them against hope. Hope blinded a person to reality. He didn’t want that for Maddy, nor her mother. But he didn’t want to see them weighed down by fear, either. So he forced himself to nod before leaving the room.

* * *

SHE WAS STANDING awkwardly in front of his desk when Noah entered his office. As he closed the door behind him, he gestured for her to take a seat. They sat at the same time, he on one side of the desk and she on the other.

“I wanted to apologize,” she said without preamble, “for not speaking with you in person about the animal therapy ahead of time.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she rushed on, as if she had to get the words out before he said something that might stop her.

“It was unfair to spring it on you. I mean, yes, I emailed you about it, but I should have been more direct. It was—” she straightened and cleared her throat “—unprofessional of me.” She licked her lips. “But I think the program will do a lot of good for the children,” she finally said.

“I agree.” He enjoyed seeing her eyes widen at his response.

“You...do?”

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