I Do? I Don't?

Then the inconsiderate lout had ruffled her hair, told her to behave, and had abandoned her to spend the rest of his Christmas vacation with Patsy Stillwell, who was a junior in college and who’d been much more endowed than Niki ever hoped to be.

Niki coasted to stop as a signal light turned red, and she sighed at the memory. In one fell swoop, Jack had lifted her hopes, only to crush them soundly. It wasn’t the first time he’d disappointed her. And she was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

Tonight was just another example of how easily he could get under her skin. His reaction to her marriage plans had hurt more than she would ever admit to anyone. She’d seen the incredulity in Jack’s eye. What was it he’d said?

You can’t be getting married. You’re. too young.

Unwanted tears stung her eyes. She blinked hard, refusing to allow him to upset her further. Jack was her past. Greg was her future. The sooner she accepted that fact the better.

She couldn’t spend the rest of her life longing for something that would never happen. Niki released a slow resigned breath. It was time she gave Greg her much awaited answer to his marriage proposal.

A car honked its horn behind her, alerting her to the fact she’d been daydreaming through the better part of a green light. Niki pressed her foot on the accelerator, barely making it through the intersection before the light changed to yellow. She glanced in her rearview mirror, wincing as she caught the inventive hand signals of the driver she’d left behind.

Her thoughts drifted back to more pressing matters, like Greg’s marriage proposal. She didn’t understand why she’d had such a hard time arriving at a decision. Perhaps it was because she and Greg hadn’t been dating all that long. Only six months, though steadily for the last three. Greg’s proposal had come out of the blue, taking her breath away with its unexpectedness.

A blush crept across her face as she recalled how she’d stared at him, unable to speak when he’d first popped the question. He’d looked so hurt when she told him she needed time to consider her answer.

She pushed the disconcerting memory from her mind. Greg was a wonderful man. She owed him so much. He’d been a godsend this past year, helping her through one of the most difficult times of her life. He’d offered her a strong shoulder to lean on after her father had died, and she’d gratefully done the leaning. She had never met a more confident, more self-assured man. With Greg-unlike another man whom she didn’t care to mention-she always knew exactly where she stood. She knew she could depend upon him.

Niki frowned. Not that he was perfect, mind you. He was a bit old-fashioned when it came to a woman’s place in a marriage. In fact, he wanted her to quit teaching once they were married. He’d told her a doctor’s wife didn’t need to work.

Her lips eased into a confident smile. The disagreement was minor. Something that easily could be resolved. What mattered was that they shared the same dreams and had the same wants. A happy marriage, a family, and a chance to grow old living in their hometown of Webster Groves. What more could she ask for in a prospective husband?

Except, perhaps, passion and romance?

Her confidence floundered as an unwanted picture of Jack Sinclair cropped up in her mind. Jack with his dark, wavy hair and soft brown eyes. Jack with the broad shoulders and the breath-stealing smile. Jack, the man who’d had more influence on her life than any one person had a right.

Niki sighed. Her mind might be telling her marrying Greg was the best thing to do. But why wasn’t her heart listening?

Chapter Two

At ten o’clock that evening, Jack paced the flagstone patio in the backyard of his parent’s home, waiting for Niki to return home from her date.

The night was quiet. The neighborhood at peace, bringing back memories of an idyllic past. Webster Groves was still a small town, a town whose older homes were as unique as the people living in them. A place where the people were still friendly, and where kids could still be kids.

Jack gave a wry smile. Even Beaver Cleaver couldn’t have had a more perfect childhood. As an only child, he’d had the singular attention of doting parents. He’d never wanted for a thing, except perhaps a brother or two. The house had always been too quiet to suit his taste. But then again, with Niki living next door, life never was too tranquil.

Niki.

His smile faded as once again he was reminded of the task that lay ahead. He was waiting for Niki for a specific reason. To talk her out of a wedding.

He assured himself his decision to take matters into his own hands had nothing to do with his mother or her matchmaking tactics. Niki’s marrying Greg Lawton would be a catastrophic mistake. It wasn’t in his nature to allow any wrong to go unrighted.

He’d been watching out for Niki for the better part of twenty-three years. They might have spent the last few years in separate cities, but that hadn’t lessened his sense of obligation toward her. She needed a firm hand to guide her to a happy future.

He had that firm hand.

The purr of an approaching engine drew his attention. He watched as Niki pulled her car into the Adamses’ garage. He caught up with her as soon as she opened her door.

She turned, gasping. “You scared me half to death! What are you still doing here, Jack?”

Jack frowned. It wasn’t exactly the welcome he’d hoped for, but he wasn’t going to let her show of bad humor discourage him. “I wanted to talk to you.” He raised a questioning brow. “You got a minute?”

She bit her lip, looking uncertain. “Sure, come on inside.”

He hesitated, knowing Niki’s mother was bound to be underfoot. The conversation he intended to broach with Niki was of a private nature, one that promised to be difficult. He didn’t need an audience. “It’s too nice of an evening. What do you say we stay outside?”

She shrugged. “How about the gazebo?”

The gazebo had been a favorite meeting place of theirs when they were kids. Resting in a corner of Niki’s backyard, it was far enough away from the prying ears of overly protective parents, yet close enough for them to feel secure if the need arose for a little extra attention. Its white, Victorian-styled trim gave it a whimsical feel, making it a perfect playhouse.

Moonlight and a few strategically placed outdoor lights marked their way through the night-darkened yard. Jack followed her at a discreet distance, feeling unsettled by the fact that he was noticing the curving length of her legs and the saucy swing of her hips. He forced his thoughts to safer ground, remembering Niki as a kid.

His earliest memory of Niki was when he was five. It had been Christmas and the Adamses had brought home this crying, fidgeting little bundle. He’d peered at the baby everyone was cooing over and saw a bright, pink face and fluffy tufts of hair that were the color of a ripe pumpkin. One look at the kid and he knew she would be trouble. His parents had told him her name was Nicole, and that she was a very special Christmas present. Jack had liked the Adamses. He thought they’d deserved something better.

From that day onward their lives had become entwined. Niki was the little sister he’d never had. Now he couldn’t help but feel guilty, as though there were something illicit in the fact he was noticing her as a beautiful, sexy woman.

“How’s the new job?” she asked, drawing him out of his pensive mood.

“The job’s fine,” he said, wincing at the strained sound of his voice. “It’s keeping me busy.”

“So I’ve heard.”

He moaned. “Now, don’t you start lecturing me, too.”

For the first time that evening, she laughed as she settled herself in the white wicker love seat. He watched as she kicked off her pumps and tucked her long legs beneath her. She looked relaxed, comfortable and—yes, dammit—irresistible. “I wouldn’t think of it. I know better than to try to give advice to anyone. Besides, I’ve got enough to think about on my own.”

He resisted the urge to join her on the love seat. Instead, he leaned a shoulder against one of the ornately decorated poles, deciding it best to keep a safe distance between him and Niki. Roses vined upward over the trellised porch, teasing the air with their sweet scent. A gentle breeze felt soft and warm, as though fall were just a distant promise. For a moment he wished they were kids again. That they were young and carefree, without the encumbrances of adulthood.

But he wasn’t a kid. Neither was Niki, as he was shocked to learn. They had an adult-size problem to deal with and the sooner he brought it up, the better.

He cleared his throat. “Niki, the last thing I want to do is to be a wet blanket and give you a lecture…but I feel I’ve got to say this.” He took a deep breath, then blurted out, “What’s all this nonsense about you marrying Greg Lawton?”

“Nonsense?” The smile faded. A frown marred her beautiful face. “What do you mean, ‘nonsense’?”

“I mean, this whole idea—your marrying Greg—it’s crazy.”

“Crazy?” The single word echoed across the gazebo, like a warning shot fired across an open field. She stared at him. Even in the muted light of the moon, he saw the agitation sparkling in her green eyes. Her shoulders were tensed and ready for an argument. “Now look, Jack. Just because you don’t like Greg—”

“My personal feelings toward Greg Lawton have nothing to do with this,” he lied.

“Ha! You’ve never liked Greg. As a matter of fact, you’ve never liked any man I’ve ever dated.”

“That’s not true.” He searched his mind for someone, anyone to support his denial. “What about that guy who used to hang around here all the time during your senior year in high school? You know the one—tall kid, glasses, on the thin side?”

“Martin Skinner?” she asked, giving a disgusted look. “I never dated Martin. He was my lab partner in chemistry. He was tutoring me. If it wasn’t for him, I’d never have gotten through the class.”

“He seemed nice enough to me.” Jack shrugged. “So what was wrong with good ol’ Martin?”

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Nothing…that is, if you wanted to date a nerd.”

Which was probably why he’d trusted him so much, Jack acknowledged silently. No wonder it hadn’t bothered him to see the gangly kid hanging around the Adamses’ house. Martin Skinner couldn’t have hurt a flea, much less been a threat to Niki’s well-being.

Jack pushed the troubling thought from his mind. He had more important things to consider than the pros and cons of dating Martin Skinner…things like Niki’s future. “Niki, all I’m trying to say is that you should slow down, give yourself time to get to know Greg before you start considering something as important as marriage.”

“I do know Greg. I’ve known him almost as long as I’ve known you,” she stated, an edge to her deceptively calm voice. He had no doubt Niki’s temper was on a short fuse. “We’ve been dating for over six months.”

Six months? Jack felt stunned. Even to his own ears, six months sounded like a long time. Had he really let that much time pass without knowing what was happening in her life?

He ignored the tiny fists of guilt jabbing away at his conscience. “Okay, so you think you know Greg. But you’re still young. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. What’s your rush? Why tie yourself down to marriage?”

“You’re wrong, Jack. The one thing I do know is that life’s too short,” she said. Her smile was bittersweet. “My father’s death taught me that much.”

“Niki, I—”

He stared at her, uncertain what to say. He wanted to disagree with her. But in his heart, he knew she was right. Her father’s fatal heart attack at the age of fifty-eight had been a shock to everyone, including Jack.

At the mention of her father’s death, he found himself wrestling with his own personal demons of guilt. It was just one more reminder that he’d been remiss. That he hadn’t been there at a time when she needed him most.

Niki continued, drawing him out of his guilty musings, “My mother thought she and Dad had a lifetime to share. Only sometimes a lifetime isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Time is too precious. I’m not going to waste a moment of it watching life pass me by.” Softly, she added, “I want a family, Jack. A home of my own before it’s too late.”

His chest tightened at the tremulous sound of her voice, making it hard to breathe. They’d been friends for too long. He felt her pain as though it were his own.

But just because he understood her hurry to be wed, it didn’t mean he condoned her reasoning. If anything, it made him all the more certain she was making a mistake. A mistake she might spend the rest of her life regretting.

“And you’re sure Greg Lawton is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

She hesitated. “Greg’s the man who’s asked me.”

He released a frustrated breath. “That’s not love, Niki. That’s desperation.”

“Since when are you such an expert on love, Jack?” Emotion flashed in her eyes. “I don’t see you taking any steps toward the altar. If you ask me, I’d say you’re the last person who should be giving me marital advice.”

“Somebody has to give you advice, Niki,” he hollered, as an irrational anger welled up inside him. “It’s obvious you’re not capable of making a rational decision on your own.”

Jack regretted the words almost as soon as he spoke them. The last thing he’d intended was to lose his temper. He was in big trouble now.

She didn’t answer. In fact, she didn’t even look at him. Her seemingly quiet acceptance of his angry outburst unnerved him more than if she’d stood up and spit in his eye. Niki never did anything quietly.

She untucked her legs, slid her feet back into the discarded pumps, then stood. Pulling herself to her full fivefoot-seven height, she faced him. “I want to thank you, Jack.”

“Thank me?” He winced as his voice broke. He swallowed hard. His throat felt dry, as though it were about to close up on him.

“Yes, I’m very grateful to you.” She crossed her arms at her waist and hugged herself tightly. Emotion—anger mixed with pain?—glimmered in her eyes. “You’ve cleared up a lot of my doubts.”

“I have?”

“Yes, you have,” she said, chuckling softly as though remembering a private joke. The hollow-sounding laughter left him feeling cold inside. “You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things. Things that should have been obvious years ago.”

Jack frowned, his discomfort growing. He didn’t understand what was going on here. But he had no doubt she was talking about more than his giving a little friendly advice. “Niki—”

She held up a quieting hand. “Let me finish. I want you to understand something, Jack. I am not a child. I am a clear-thinking, rational woman who is more than capable of making life’s important decisions.”

“Niki, listen. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you were immature—”

“Of course, you did,” she snapped, her temper finally kicking in. “You’ve been implying it since you walked onto this gazebo.”

He couldn’t help himself. He pointed a finger at her nose. “You know, Niki, losing your temper isn’t a sign of maturity. It’s just one more example to support of my theory that you aren’t ready for marriage.”

She growled her frustration. “Get this through your thick head, Jack. Butt out of my life. I’m not the little kid who used to follow you around. I’ve got a life of my own. A life that doesn’t involve you anymore.”

The words had a stinging affect. The thought of her not needing him hurt more than any physical blow possibly could.

“You don’t mean, that,” he said slowly.

“Yes, I do.” Tears filled her eyes. Niki looked as upset as he felt. She blinked hard, then held up her left hand. A diamond the size of a small boulder glittered in the moonlight. “For your information, this entire conversation has been pointless. I’ve, already accepted Greg’s marriage proposal. Now, if I can’t count on your support, then I suggest you stay the hell out of my way.”

With that she stormed off the gazebo, leaving him reeling in the wake of her unfounded anger. His intentions had been good. He’d never expected her to be so upset. Didn’t she understand? He cared about her. He wanted to protect her. But all he seemed to have done was to offend her.

A dull pain throbbed in his chest. Niki had walked away from him. She said to stay out of her life. Thanks to him and his big mouth he might have destroyed their friendship.

The dull pain grew into a pounding ache. Losing Niki, he felt as though he’d lost a part of himself.

The next morning, the phone rang.

Martha Sinclair hurried to answer the insistent peal. “Hello,” she trilled in a pleasant singsong voice.

“Martha, what in the Sam Hill is the matter with that boy of yours?”

Martha recognized the caller. It was her good friend and next-door neighbor, Helen Adams. All traces of Helen’s usual friendly demeanor were gone. Her obvious agitation proved contagious. Martha drew in a sharp breath. “What’s wrong, Helen?”

“Niki just told me she’s decided to marry Greg Lawton!”

“What?” Martha gasped, though the news didn’t surprise her. When Jack had stayed late last night to talk to Niki, she’d taken it as a good sign. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out the meeting hadn’t gone as she and Helen had hoped. The conversation had lasted only a few minutes, ending with Niki storming into her house and slamming the door behind her, and Jack slinging himself into his car and careening out of the driveway. The scowl he wore on his face could have stopped a bear in his tracks.

Martha sighed. “Oh, Helen, this is terrible.”

“Now, don’t get me wrong. Greg is a nice enough boy. I’m sure he’ll make some girl a wonderful husband. But he’s not the right man for Niki.” Helen’s voice grew wistful. “When I see them together there’s no spark, no passion…Niki just isn’t acting like someone who’s truly in love.” Her tone changed abruptly, becoming sharp, almost accusing. “I thought you were going to light a firecracker under that boy of yours. Get him to talk her out of this wedding.”

Martha gave her head a miserable shake. “I tried, Helen. I really did try.”

A strained silence filled the phone line.

“Well, I’m not giving up,” Helen said finally.

“Neither am I,” Martha agreed.

“Looks like these children of ours are going to need a little push to get them headed in the right direction.”

Martha smiled for the first time. “Being pushy is a mother’s God-given right.”

Helen chuckled. “Between the two of us, they won’t know what hit them.”

“At least, not until they’re married and have given us a couple of grandchildren.”

“Amen,” Martha seconded.

“Niki, the caterer’s looking for you,” Cassie Andrews, a tall, leggy blonde, informed her. “Something about cheese puffs that won’t puff.”

Her friend’s announcement sounded like a death knell for a party that was headed for a certain demise. Niki closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to shut out the din made by fifty guests. The party, like her engagement, seemed ill-fated from the start.

Nothing was going right.

First, the caterers arrived an hour late, swearing they’d been given the wrong time. Niki didn’t understand the mix-up. Her mother had been in charge of ordering the food. It wasn’t like her to allow such a mistake. Then, moments before the party was to begin, the heavens opened up and let loose with a torrent of rain. Guests were arriving soaked to the skin, shaking off the raindrops like puppies emerging from an unwanted bath. To add to the chaos, Greg was called out on an emergency, making him late for his own engagement party.

But that wasn’t the worst of her troubles.

Her biggest problem stood not two feet away, looking smug and irritatingly cheerful. Niki opened her eyes and gave a silent growl of frustration. Life wasn’t fair. Her fiancé was pulling a no-show, but Jack Sinclair had the nerve to show up for her engagement party.

“Something wrong, Niki?” Cassie, her best friend and soon-to-be maid of honor, shot her a concerned look.

“Nothing a good housecleaning wouldn’t solve,” Niki muttered to herself. She stole a glance in Jack’s direction. His thick, chestnut brown hair was neatly combed. His dark good looks stood out against a crisp white shirt, contrasting nicely with his navy jacket and charcoal gray pants. He was cool, confident and a fraud. Tonight, he stood in her living room, along with dozens of her closest family and friends, waiting to toast the formal announcement of her and Greg’s engagement. Knowing full well that less than two weeks ago he’d tried to talk her out of this very marriage.

The man had no shame. He feigned support on one hand while back-stabbing a friend with the other. Niki chewed on her lower lip. Not that she could really consider Jack and Greg to be friends.

The feud between the two men seemed to have gone on forever, its roots stretching back into childhood. For some reason, they brought out the worst in each other. They were two grown, intelligent men who acted like children whenever the other was near.

A new wave of anger washed over her. Because of this silly feud, Jack had ruined what should have been the happiest day of her life. He’d objected to her choice of husband solely on the basis of an adolescent rivalry.

Did he stop and consider her feelings? Her wants? No. He’d expected her to drop all of her wedding plans, simply because he didn’t like the groom.

He’d treated her like a child.

He’d wounded her pride…and her heart.

He’d also opened her eyes to some hard, but long overdue truths. The schoolgirl crush she’d had on Jack was a sweet but impossible dream. She understood that now. But the hardest truth, the one that held the most sting, was that they’d seemed to have outgrown their childhood friendship. A friendship she thought they’d never lose.

“Niki?”

Niki blinked, forcing her attention back to Cassie. “Hmm?”

“Are you all right?” Worry shadowed the blonde’s face. “You were a million miles away.”

Niki grimaced. “I swear, Cassie. If one more thing goes wrong tonight, I’m going to scream.”

Cassie’s face relaxed around a smile. Mischief danced in her blue eyes. “Believe me. If I were marrying Greg Lawton, I’d be screaming, also.”

“Not you, too,” Niki moaned.

“Me too, what?”

Niki shook her head. “Cassie, you’re my maid of honor. You’re supposed to support me during my engagement.”

“I am supporting you. I just can’t help it if I think you’re crazy.”

“Crazy?” The single word rang out loud and clear. Remembering her guests, she lowered her voice. “What do you mean crazy?”

Cassie struggled with a sober expression. “I mean…jeez, Niki, Greg Lawton of all people.”

Niki felt her temper kick in. “What’s the matter with Greg?” she demanded, struggling for control.

“Nothing, really.” Cassie bit her lip to hide a smile. “It’s just…being around Greg is like watching a rerun of Dr. Kildare. He’s so cool, so collected—so perfect. Whenever I see him, I want to run up to him and muss his hair or something.”

Niki sighed. Her maid of honor, it appeared, appreciated Greg almost as much asJack did. She attributed the animosity between Cassie and Greg to their being opposites.

Perfection wasn’t something she could pin on her friend. At twenty-four, Cassie was still trying to find herself. Smart and savvy, she just couldn’t seem to settle down to any one man or occupation. Greg, on the other hand, was born responsible. He simply didn’t understand Cassie’s lack of commitment.

Cassie shrugged. “Look, I’m sorry, Niki. I’m not the one who’s marrying Greg—thank God. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that counts.” She glanced at Niki sharply. “You are madly in love with him, aren’t you?”

The question took her aback. Of course, she loved Greg. She wouldn’t be marrying him if she didn’t. But madly in love? The term conjured up emotions that were unpredictable, out of control. Her feelings for Greg were more of a steady nature.