Ten Thousand a-Year. Volume 3

[9] I. e. "Special Jury."

All these serious actions were being pushed forward with great vigor, at the instance of Lord De la Zouch, who had, moreover, directed them all to be made special jury causes.

Secondly, a monstrous mass of papers, also lying on the sofa, contained the heterogeneous elements, out of which it required a head as clear as Gammon's to draw up a brief for the defence in a very complicated case of conspiracy—"The King v. Middleton Snake, and Others,"—and which was coming on for trial at the ensuing King's Bench sittings for London; it having been removed, on account of its great difficulty and importance, by certiorari9 from the Old Bailey. It ought to have been by this time prepared; yet Mr. Gammon had scarcely even looked at the papers, though the credit of their office was at stake, as the case had attracted a large share of public attention.

Thirdly, there were scattered about threatening masses of documents connected with the various joint-stock companies in which Mr. Gammon was concerned, either openly or secretly—either professionally or as a shareholder; the management of many of them requiring infinite vigilance and tact. These matters, however, and many others which had accumulated, till the bare thoughts of them oppressed and distracted him, he had altogether neglected, absorbed as he was by the pursuit of Miss Aubrey, and the consummation of his schemes and purposes respecting Titmouse and the Yatton property. As if all this had not been sufficient occupation for him, there was yet another of a totally different description. He was writing a series of very popular and powerful attacks in the Sunday Flash, upon a certain Tory ex-Minister—in fact, endeavors to write him down—and this with the privity, and even occasional assistance, of one whom Gammon intended, in due time, to make great use of, as soon as his Lordship should have sufficiently committed himself thus, and otherwise; viz. my Lord Blossom and Box. Now, Gammon had for three weeks running disappointed the numerous readers of the Sunday Flash, during which period, also, he had been almost baited to death upon the subject by old Quirk, the chief proprietor of the paper; and that very evening, the odious Viper, its editor, had been there, as it were, writhing and hissing about him till he had given a positive pledge to prepare an article against the ensuing Saturday. All these things put together, were enough for one strong-headed man to bear up against, and Gammon felt very nearly overwhelmed; and the reader will think it very excusable in Mr. Gammon, that he felt such difficulty in commanding his thoughts even to the interesting task of settling the draft of his own rent-charge on the Yatton property. He was not quite satisfied with the way in which Frankpledge had tinkered up the "consideration" shadowed forth in Gammon's instructions, and was just sketching off one compounded of a "certain sum of five thousand pounds of good and lawful money of Great Britain, by the aforesaid Oily Gammon, at or before the execution of these presents, paid to the said Tittlebat Titmouse, and the receipt whereof the said Titmouse thereby acknowledged, and from the same and every part thereof, released and discharged the said Oily Gammon, his heirs, executors, administrators and assigns" (!!!) and also "of the great skill, and exertion, and sacrifices of the said Oily Gammon, for and on behalf of the said Tittlebat Titmouse, in and in respect of the recovery of the Yatton property," &c. &c.

I say he had just finished off this little matter, and was varying one or two of the expressions, when a sharp knock at his door announced the arrival of the intelligent grantor of the aforesaid annuity, Mr. Titmouse himself, whose stylish cab was at that moment standing opposite to the entrance to Thavies' Inn, in Holborn, having brought him direct from the House of Commons, whither, however, he was to return by eleven o'clock, till which time he had paired off, in order to enable him to come and consult Mr. Gammon on one or two important matters. Poor Titmouse had conceived, since his memorable interview with Gammon, formerly related, a violent hatred of Mr. Gammon; but which was almost absorbed in his dread of that gentleman, who had such unlimited power over him. The sudden and serious diminution of his income by Gammon's rent-charge, almost turned his head upside-down, and occasioned a pother in his little bosom, which was all the greater for his being unable to admit any sympathizing friend into his confidence. He had become fidgety and irritable to a degree; his countenance and demeanor troubled and depressed; from all which, the more intimate among his brother senators naturally inferred that he had lost large sums at play, or was harassed by his election expenses; or had quarrelled with his mistress, or been found out by his wife; or been kicked, and dared not call out the aggressor; or that some other such accident as frequently happens to young gentlemen of fashion, had befallen him. Now, to be candid with the reader, Titmouse certainly was getting into rather deep water. Formidable creditors were beginning to look somewhat sternly after him from various quarters; his upholsterer was becoming troublesome; his wine-merchant insisted on at least four hundred pounds on account; Messrs. Jimcrack and Nicknack were surprised at having received no payment for sundry expensive articles of jewelry and vertu. His coach-maker, his tailor, a host of household creditors, were getting very restless; he had a running account of some £600 or £800 at the Gliddington, in respect of his Parliamentary and other dinners at that fashionable establishment; his yacht was a dreadful drain upon him; he had been unfortunate in his sporting speculations; in short, if Gammon had his anxieties, so had Titmouse his. He felt himself getting terribly out at elbows—so much so, that he could no longer give that calm and undivided attention to his Parliamentary duties, which his enlightened constituents had a right to expect at his hands: and in short, the sole occasion of his calling on Gammon, was to see if that gentleman could devise some mode of once more replenishing his empty coffers—a further mortgage on the Yatton property being the exact mode of doing so, which he was about to propose to Gammon. It required some tact, however, as he felt, to broach that subject in the present position of affairs; so he avowed that he had called to see if Mr. Gammon's deeds were ready for signing—as he, Titmouse, was anxious to get it off his mind. Time was very precious with Mr. Gammon; he therefore lost not a moment in plucking aside the thin disguise of Titmouse, and discovering the real object of his visit. Mr. Gammon looked very serious indeed, on hearing the account of Titmouse's prodigal expenditure, and remonstrated with him earnestly, and even authoritatively; but it instantly occurred to him—could there possibly be a better opportunity for broaching the subject of the two promissory notes?

"My dear Titmouse," said he, with great kindness of manner, "notwithstanding all I have felt it my duty to say, I do sincerely wish it were in my power to serve you in this emergency. But we really must spare old Yatton for a little—you've sadly burdened her already;—we shall be killing the goose to get at the golden egg, if we don't mind what we're about!"

"–! But what the devil's to be done, Mr. Gammon? For, 'pon my soul, I'm most particular hard up, and something must be done."

"We must bethink ourselves of our other resources, my dear Titmouse!—let us see"—he paused, with his hand resting on his forehead for a few moments—"Oh! by the way—certainly," he added suddenly—"but no! it's a thousand pities; but my word is pledged."

"Eh? what? does anything strike you, Gammon?—'Pon my life, what is it?" inquired Titmouse, pricking up his ears.

"Why, yes, certainly," replied Gammon, musingly—adding, as if he did not intend Titmouse to hear him, "to be sure, it would put ten thousand—nay, with the interest, nearly eleven"–

"The devil it would! What would? My stars, Mr. Gammon!" exclaimed Titmouse, eagerly—"Do let us know what it is!"

"Why, I was certainly thinking, at the moment," replied Gammon, with a sigh, "of that poor devil Aubrey's two notes for £5,000 a-piece and interest."

Titmouse's face suddenly fell. "Oh Lord! Is that all? Hang the fellow—he's a beggar—squeezed dry—nothing more to be got out of him!" he exclaimed with mingled chagrin and contempt. "A'n't worth powder and shot! Blood from a stone!—won't have anything worth taking this ten years to come!"

"Poor fellow!" quoth Gammon.

"'Pon my soul, Gammon, it's me you may say that of, I rather think!"

"Why," said Gammon, glancing rather keenly at Titmouse, "my first and greatest duty on earth, my dear Titmouse, is to you—to look after, to secure your interests; and candor compels me to say, that, whatever may be my feelings towards that unfortunate person, still, I think, you've only to squeeze him pretty hard, and blood would come from other people. Eh! you understand?"

"By Jove!—Indeed!—No! But would it really? How?—Squeeze away, then, and be–! Please bring an action against the fellow, the first thing in the morning! Put him in jail, and he'll get the money, I'll warrant him! Dem the fellow! why don't he pay his debts? It's devilish hard on me, a'n't it? Didn't I forgive him forty thousand pounds? By the way, I'd forgot there's the other ten thousand that Lord De la Zouch is surety for—when do we touch that?"

"Oh! we've taken a bond for that, which will not fall due before—let me see—the 24th of next January."

"'Pon my soul, what a cursed bore! But can't one do anything with it before then?"

"What! Sue on it before it's due?"

"No—egad! I mean, raise the wind on it. Surely Lord De la Zouch's name is"–

"Whew!" thought Gammon, "that stroke certainly had never occurred to me!—Ay, he's right, the little fool! Old Fang will advance £8,000 or £9,000, or more even—I'll see to it, by Jove!" Then he said aloud—"It may be possible, certainly, my dear Titmouse; but I see very great obstacles in the way."

"Some cussed law point—eh?"

"Yes—but I assure you I will turn my best attention to it," he added; and proceeded to bring back Titmouse to the point at which he had started off. "And speaking of poor Aubrey—it's certainly true that you have been, I may say, extravagantly liberal to him—forbearing beyond example; and I can't think that any one can be expected, when he knows a wave of his hand will put some eleven thousand pounds into his pocket, to stand by idle forever! It is not in human nature"–

"No; 'pon my life it isn't," quoth Titmouse, with a puzzled air, quite unable to make out whether Gammon intended to favor or discourage the notion of immediately proceeding against Aubrey; which Gammon observing, he continued—"At all events I should say, that if you consider that your own necessities"—

"Demme! I should think so!" interposed Titmouse.

"Required it—and, as you very properly observed, you are the best judge; certainly"–he paused; surely—thought he—Titmouse now saw his drift!

"Yes—'pon my soul!" exclaimed Titmouse.

"Why, in that case, it is only due to myself to say I can be no party to it: I have had to bear enough already that was due to others; and since I have solemnly pledged my word of honor to Mr."–

"What the devil do you mean, Gammon? Cuss me, if I can make you out a bit!" interrupted Titmouse, snappishly.

"You misunderstand me, my dear Titmouse! Once for all, I say, if you want the money, you must immediately sue on these notes; and my opinion is, you'll succeed—only, I must not appear in it, you know! But if you do choose to employ some other solicitor—there's that Mr. Spitfire, for instance—to compel me to give up the notes."

"Oh Lord! Honor! No, no!—So bless me Heaven! I didn't mean anything of the kind," cried Titmouse, alarmedly, fearful of offending Gammon, who could scarcely conceal his impatience and disgust at the stupidity of Titmouse.

"I cannot make you understand me, Titmouse! What I mean is, it is my duty not to let my feelings interfere with your interests. I now, therefore, recommend you—since you have suggested the thing—immediately to put yourself into the hands—as far as this little business is concerned—of some other solicitor, say Mr. Spitfire, in Scorpion Court; and whatever he advises you to do—do without hesitation. You will probably tell him that, if he demands the two notes on your behalf, I may, for form's sake, resist: but I know I shall be ordered to give them up! Well—I can't help it!"

"Honor now, Gammon! May I do as I like?" inquired Titmouse, stupidly.

"Honor!"

"And you won't be angry? Not a bit! eh?"

"On my sacred word of honor!" replied Gammon, solemnly, placing his hand on his breast.

"Then fire away, Flannagan!" cried Titmouse, joyfully snapping his fingers. "By Jove, here goes! Here's for a jolly squeeze! Aha! Ten thousand drops of blood!—by Jove, he'll bleed to death! But, by the way, what will Mr. Quirk say?"

"Curse Mr. Quirk!" cried Gammon, impatiently; "you know the course you are to pursue—you are your own master, surely? What has Mr. Quirk to do with you, when I allow you to act in this way?"

"To be sure! Well! here's a go! Wasn't it a lucky thought of mine to come here to-night? But don't you forget the other ten thousand—the two make twenty thousand, by Jove! I'm set up again—aha! And as soon as ever the House is up, if I don't cut away in my span-new yacht, with a lot of jolly chaps, to the East Indies, or some other place that'll take us a good six weeks, or so, to go and come back in. Hollo! Is that eleven o'clock striking?" he inquired with a start, taking out his watch; "It is, by Jove! and my pair's up; they'll be dividing—I'm off! Good-night."

"You remember where Mr. Spitfire lives'!" said Gammon, anxiously. "In Scorpion Court, Strand. I must say he's one of the most respectable men in the profession; and so quick!"

"Ah—I remember! I'll be with him the moment after breakfast!" replied Titmouse: Gammon shook him by the hand—feeling, when he had shut both his doors, as if he had been playing with an ape. "Oh, thou indefinable and undiscoverable principle regulating human affairs!" thought he, falling into a revery, a bitter scowl settling on his strongly-marked features; "of what nature soever thou art, and if any such there really be, what conceivable purpose canst thou have had in view in placing this execrable idiot and ME, in our relative positions?" He pursued this line of reflection for some time, till he had got into a far more melancholy and misanthropical humor than he had ever before fallen into—till, recollecting himself, and with a deep sigh, he rang for a fresh supply of coffee from his drowsy laundress; and then exerted himself vigorously till nearly five o'clock in the morning, at which hour he sank, exhausted, into bed.

During the ensuing day, sure enough, he received a communication signed "Simeon Spitfire," and dated from "Scorpion Court," informing him that its respectable writer "was instructed to apply to him, on the part of Mr. Titmouse, for the immediate delivery up of two promissory notes for £5,000 each, given by one Charles Aubrey to the aforesaid Titmouse," and "begging Mr. Gammon's immediate attention thereto." Gammon instantly copied out and sent an answer which he had carefully prepared beforehand—taking very high ground indeed, but slipping in, with a careful inadvertence, an encouraging admission of the strict legal right of Mr. Spitfire's client. 'T was, in short, a charming letter—showing its writer to be one of the most fastidiously high-minded men living; but producing not the least favorable effect upon the mind of Mr. Spitfire, who instantly forwarded a formal and peremptory demand of the two documents in question. Gammon wrote a second letter, alluding to an unguarded (!) admission made in his former communication, which he most devoutly hoped would not be used against him; and in terms of touching and energetic eloquence, reasserted that, though the letter of the law might be against him, he conceived that, in point of honor, and indeed of justice, he was warranted in adhering to the solemn promise which he had made to a gentleman for whom he entertained the most profound respect; and, in short, he flatly refused to give up the instruments demanded! Irrepressible was the exultation of Mr. Spitfire, on finding himself getting so much the better of so astute a person as Mr. Gammon! and he took an opportunity of showing to every one who came to his little office, how Mr. Gammon had laid himself open to the superior tactics of him—the aforesaid Mr. Spitfire!—He then, with profound astuteness, wrote a fine flourishing letter to wind up the correspondence, and stick into an affidavit; in the course of which he apprised Mr. Gammon that the Court of King's Bench would be immediately applied to, for a rule calling upon him, forthwith, to deliver up the documents in question. On this, Mr. Gammon drew up an imposing and admirable affidavit, setting forth all the correspondence; and, as soon as he had been served with the rule nisi, he instructed Sir Charles Wolstenholme, (the late Attorney-General,) Mr. Sterling, and Mr. Crystal, to "show cause" against it; knowing, of course, quite as well as did counsel, with whom he did not think it necessary to hold a consultation, (for fear they should press him to give up the promissory notes without showing cause,) that there was no earthly chance of successfully resisting the rule.—When he took his seat under Sir Charles, just before that learned person rose to show cause, he touched Mr. Gammon on the shoulder, and very warmly complimented him on the highly honorable and friendly feeling which he had manifested towards the unfortunate Mr. Aubrey; but "feared that the case, as far as the legal merits went, was too plain for argument;—but he had looked with unusual care over the affidavits on which the rule had been obtained, and at the form of the rule itself—and rejoiced to say he felt confident that he should be able to discharge it with costs:"—at which Mr. Gammon turned suddenly pale—with joyous surprise, as Sir Charles imagined—he not knowing Gammon so well as we do!—The reader is now in a position to appreciate the following report of what took place—and (inter nos) which said report had been drawn up for the Morning Growl, by Mr. Gammon himself.

Court of King's Bench. Yesterday.

(Sittings in Banco.)

Ex parte Titmouse.

"This was a rule, obtained by Mr. Subtle on a previous day of the term, calling upon Mr. Gammon, of the firm of Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, of Saffron Hill, Hatton Garden, to show cause why he should not forthwith deliver up to Mr. Titmouse, M. P. for Yatton, two promissory notes, each for the payment, on demand to that gentleman, of £5,000, with interest, by Charles Aubrey. Sir Charles Wolstenholme, Mr. Sterling, and Mr. Crystal, now appeared to show cause—and took a preliminary objection to the form of the rule. After a very long discussion, the Court decided that the rule might be moulded so as to meet the facts of the case, and directed cause to be shown on the merits.

"From the affidavits filed in answer to the rule, it appeared that, shortly after the termination of the late important case of Doe dem. Titmouse v. Jolter, (in which, it will be recollected, the lessor of the plaintiff succeeded in establishing his right to very large estates in Yorkshire,) Mr. Gammon had been very active in endeavoring to effect an amicable arrangement concerning the mesne profits; and, after great exertions, had persuaded his client Mr. Titmouse to enter into an arrangement highly advantageous to Mr. Aubrey—who was to be released, (as we understood,) from no less a sum than Sixty Thousand Pounds, due in respect of the mesne profits, on giving the two promissory notes which were the subject of the present application. It further appeared, that on obtaining Mr. Aubrey's signature to these promissory notes, Mr. Gammon had explicitly and repeatedly assured him that he need be under no apprehension of being called on for payment for several years; but that the notes should remain in the hands of Mr. Gammon, and should not be put in suit till after a twelvemonth's notice should have been given to Mr. Aubrey. It did not distinctly appear whether Mr. Titmouse was ever made aware of this understanding between Mr. Gammon and Mr. Aubrey—at all events, nothing had ever passed in writing upon the subject. Mr. Gammon, on the contrary, frankly admitted it to be possible that Mr. Titmouse might have been under the impression, while surrendering so great a claim against Mr. Aubrey, that the sum secured by the two promissory notes was to have been before this time liquidated. There was no affidavit made on the subject by Mr. Aubrey. It also appeared that Mr. Titmouse had not hitherto received any portion of the large amount, £20,000, yet due in respect of the mesne profits.

The affidavits read by the Attorney-General set forth a correspondence which had taken place between Mr. Titmouse's solicitor and Mr. Gammon, in which the latter insisted, in the most strenuous terms, upon the honorable engagement under which he conceived himself to be to Mr. Aubrey, and solemnly declared his belief that Mr. Aubrey was under a similar impression; at the same time, there were expressions in Mr. Gammon's letters, from which it was plain that he was aware of the right, in point of strict law, of Mr. Titmouse, to the documents in question. It also appeared from the affidavits of Mr. Titmouse, and was not denied by those of Mr. Gammon, that the former had repeatedly urged the latter to deliver up the notes, or commence proceedings against Mr. Aubrey—but that Mr. Gammon had, on all such occasions previous to the present one, succeeded in dissuading him from his purpose. It had, moreover, been alleged on behalf of Mr. Titmouse, that Mr. Gammon was acting in collusion with Mr. Aubrey to defeat the just claim of Mr. Titmouse; but this Sir Charles Wolstenholme indignantly disclaimed on the part of Mr. Gammon, whose conduct throughout showed the nicest sense of honor, and the utmost possible anxiety to interfere between an unfortunate gentleman and utter ruin. But,

"The Court, without calling on Mr. Subtle, (with whom were Mr. Goose and Mr. Mud,) said the rule must clearly be made absolute. The legal right of Mr. Titmouse to the notes was admitted by Mr. Gammon's own affidavit; and there was no pretence for holding that, as against Mr. Titmouse, Mr. Gammon, who was only one of that gentleman's attorneys, had any right to withhold the documents in question. No authority from Mr. Titmouse to Mr. Gammon to make the alleged representations to Mr. Aubrey, had been shown, and consequently that gentleman could in no way be bound by them. He was not even shown to have been aware of them. It was not pretended that Mr. Gammon, or any of his partners, had any lien on the notes, which must be therefore given up to Mr. Titmouse. With respect to the imputation against Mr. Gammon, of being in collusion with Mr. Aubrey, Lord Widdrington added, that from what his Lordship himself knew of Mr. Aubrey, it was impossible for a moment to imagine him capable of anything inconsistent with the strictest honor; and that Mr. Gammon's conduct showed that, though mistaken as to the extent of his power over the notes intrusted to him, he had acted from the purest motives, and evinced an honorable anxiety to serve the interests of one whom he believed to be unfortunate.—The rule was then made absolute; but on Mr. Subtle applying for the costs, the remainder of the day was occupied in an elaborate discussion upon the question—which, however, was eventually referred to the Master."

Nor was this all. The intelligent editor of the Morning Growl, happening to cast his eye over the above, while lying in proofs, made it the subject of an eloquent leading article, in which were contained many just and striking reflections on the continual inconsistency between law (as administered in England) and justice—of which the present—he said—was a glaring instance. It was truly lamentable—it seemed—to find truth and honor, generosity and justice, all sacrificed to the wretched technicalities, the petty quirks and quibbles, of the law—which required a radical reform. Indeed, the whole system of our jurisprudence called for the most searching revision, which, he hoped, would ere long take place. Then followed some powerful animadversions upon the conduct of Lord Widdrington, in giving effect to such pettifogging subterfuges as had that day served plainly to defeat the ends of justice; and the article concluded by calling upon us Lordship to resign his seat on the bench! and make way for a more liberal and enlightened successor, who would decide every case that came before him, according to the dictates of natural equity and common sense, without being trammelled by such considerations as at present fettered and impeded the due administration of justice. It did so happen, inter nos, that this same incompetent Lord Widdrington had called down upon himself and his court the foregoing philippic, by having imposed a smart fine upon the publisher of the Morning Growl, and super-added a twelvemonth's imprisonment, for an execrable libel upon an amiable and dignified ecclesiastic; and this, too, his Lordship had done, after overruling an almost interminable series of frivolous and vexatious technical objections to the proceedings, urged by the defendant's counsel, in conformity with the instructions which he had received, to take every possible advantage.