Terms Of Engagement

‘But you’ve still got a soft spot for him?’ Frazer hazarded a guess.

‘No!’ Emma’s voice was emphatic, and louder than she had intended.

The man by the fire looked over at them curiously.

‘Certainly not,’ she repeated in a softer tone. ‘Jon is a film producer and he’s looking for a Scottish location for his latest production. He’s going to take a look at my estate.’

Frazer made no reply to that, just continued to look at her with those intense dark eyes. There was something about those eyes that made her feel he could look into her soul. It unnerved her for a minute.

‘They pay a lot of money for a good location,’ she continued briskly. ‘And, as you said yourself, the farm is very run down. I could do with an injection of cash.’

Frazer considered what she had told him for a moment, before saying calmly, ‘It’s none of my business, but it sounds to me like you’re playing with fire.’

‘What makes you say that?’ Emma was instantly on the defensive.

He shrugged. ‘Intuition.’

Emma didn’t like the analysis, especially as it wasn’t a million miles away from her own feelings, but out loud she said firmly, ‘It just makes good business sense. Jon and I are still friends. What was between us is in the past.’

‘As I said, it’s none of my business anyway.’ Frazer shrugged. ‘What would I know? I’ve never been married.’ He hesitated for a moment. ‘I have learned though, that sometimes it’s safer to leave the past behind you. Digging around in it can be a painful experience.’ He finished his coffee and looked out towards the window. ‘Sun is out.’

‘So it is.’ Emma wished it would rain again. She would have liked to ask him what had happened for him to draw that conclusion.

‘If you change your mind about selling, give me a ring.’ He got out his wallet to pay for their drinks and slid a card with his number on it towards her.

‘I’ve already made it clear that I won’t.’

‘I’d be prepared to rent some of your lower pastures.’ He smiled, not one bit deterred by her obstinacy. ‘I’ll pay good money. Maybe not as good as your film producer, but it’s an option if you decide you don’t want a lot of strangers trudging around your house.’

Emma picked up the card and played with it absently in her long fingers. ‘I’ll think about it.’

He nodded, and then glanced at his watch. ‘I’d better get going. I’ve got a lot of work still to get through.’

‘Yes, I have too.’ Emma wondered if his earlier gentle friendliness had just been a ploy to soften her, so that he could get his hands on some of her land. She was surprised by how disappointed that idea made her feel.

Despite his words, he made no move to leave. Their eyes met. She felt a flare of red-hot heat inside her. Frazer McClarran was just too disturbingly sexy. Suddenly she found herself wanting to detain him, to talk to him some more.

‘Can I ask you something?’ she said impulsively.

‘Sounds ominous.’ He smiled.

Emma had never met a man whose smile could arouse butterfly sensations in her stomach. With determination she pushed the feelings away. ‘I’m just curious to know why my uncle fell out with you.’

‘Ah.’ Frazer’s lips twisted ruefully. ‘It was an old feud between him and my father. So long ago now that I’ve almost forgotten what it was about. But Ethan didn’t forget. He kept the fires well stoked even after my father died.’

‘And you can’t remember what it was about?’

Frazer shrugged. ‘Ethan withdrew away from society after his daughter died. He was a very bitter, stubborn man. The more people tried to help him the more he drove them away.’

‘I take it he wouldn’t sell to you either,’ Emma said with an impish grin.

‘Something like that,’ Frazer agreed. ‘I told you. You’re a lot like him.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t know. I never met my uncle, or for that matter my cousin who died.’

Frazer looked surprised. ‘Why not?’

‘It’s a long story,’ Emma said softly. ‘And I wouldn’t want to bore you with it.’

‘I wouldn’t be bored.’ Frazer seemed to settle himself back down against the sofa.

‘I suppose you knew Ethan and his family quite well? You sound as if you’ve lived in these parts for a long time.’

‘My family go back several generations here.’ Frazer nodded.

‘Well…Ethan’s brother, Robert, was my father. My mother met him when they were both studying at Oxford. Their affair was passionate and my mother fell wildly in love. But the relationship was never meant to be long-term as far as Robert Daniels was concerned. He had no intention of marrying my mother. In fact, when he discovered she was pregnant he said he didn’t want to see her again. She left Oxford and went to live with her sister in Kent. My father got his degree and went back to take over the running of his family estate. I never met him.’

‘A nice guy,’ Frazer murmured caustically.

‘Was he?’ Emma asked, curious to hear any snippets of information about the man she had always wondered about.

‘I was being facetious.’

Seeing the look of disappointment in her eyes, he added, ‘To be honest, I don’t remember him that well. He was Ethan’s older brother, and the estate went to him after their father died. Then Robert died…I must have been about eleven at the time. If I remember correctly, it was a drowning accident.’

Emma nodded. ‘Yes, it was. The only reason I know was that Ethan wrote to my mother and told her. Apparently, every year on my birthday my mother had sent my photograph to my father. I think she hoped for a long time that he would come after her and change his mind. But of course he never did. Never so much as wrote to acknowledge receiving the photographs. When Ethan inherited the estate after his death, he found the photographs bundled together at the bottom of a drawer.’

‘But Ethan didn’t invite you up to Scotland?’ Frazer asked.

‘No. After my father’s death it was as if a curtain had been pulled down over the past. My mother married Tony and had two sons.’

‘The car enthusiasts?’

Emma nodded. ‘Sean is nineteen. He’s off seeing the world. Taylor is twenty, married with a young baby. He’s a rally driver, based in France at the moment.’

‘And you’ve ended up inheriting your father’s estate after all,’ Frazer remarked.

‘Ironic, isn’t it?’ Emma said lightly. ‘Apparently I was Ethan’s only living relative, so he made his will out to me. You can imagine my surprise when his solicitor tracked me down and his letter fell through my letterbox. I mean, I had never so much as received a Christmas card from my father or his brother. Then suddenly all their worldly possessions fell at my feet.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘I suppose it would have gone to Ethan’s daughter had she lived.’

‘I guess so,’ Frazer agreed quietly. ‘And maybe Ethan felt guilty about the way his brother had treated your mother.’

Emma shrugged. ‘I suppose I’ll never know what he thought. I would have liked to have known him though…and my cousin, Roberta.’ She smiled sadly for a moment. ‘I once asked my mother for their address. I was only about fifteen at the time, and I had this romantic notion that I could turn up on their doorstep and be welcomed. She refused to give it to me and my stepfather was furious that I had asked…’ She trailed off. What she didn’t tell Frazer was that she had been very unhappy at that time in her life. She had never felt as if she’d fitted in to her mother’s new life.

Frazer’s eyes moved absently over her red-gold hair. ‘You look like your cousin. Roberta had the same colouring, the same way of holding a man’s attention.’

Emma didn’t know how to take that remark. Was it a compliment? ‘How well did you know her?’

‘Fairly well. We were at school together for a while.’ He hesitated. ‘She was only twenty-five when she died.’

‘So I heard. It was really very sad. No wonder Ethan felt bitter.’

Frazer inclined his head. ‘I suppose you’re right.’ He glanced again at his watch. ‘I’ve really got to go.’

‘OK. Thank you for the coffee.’ She wondered if she had talked too much. She didn’t usually open up like that, especially to someone she hardly knew.

He looked over at her, held her eyes for a moment. ‘Would you like to have dinner with me one night?’ he asked suddenly.

The invitation made her blood rush like fire through her veins. She hesitated, then smiled and managed to say casually, ‘That would be nice.’

He stood up. ‘OK, I’ll give you a ring and we’ll arrange something.’

‘It might be better to wait until after this weekend. I’ll be fairly tied up with my ex-husband being here.’

‘Fine.’ He nodded towards the card that she still held in her hand. ‘Meanwhile, think about my offer.’

Was that why he had asked her out? she wondered as she watched him walking away from her across the deserted bar. Or was she just being cynical?

She wondered if she had made a mistake accepting his invitation. Then she shrugged to herself. She was only thirty-two—too young to lock herself away in a convent. She could have fun, just as long as she didn’t allow herself to get serious.

Trouble was, Frazer McClarran was seriously attractive.

CHAPTER THREE

JON phoned as soon as he arrived in the village and suggested that Emma meet him for a drink that evening. He needed instructions on how to get to her property. Also, he wanted to discuss his requirements for filming.

So it was that Emma found herself strolling into the Traveller’s Rest again the next evening. It was a wet September night, and Emma wished she had worn trousers. Not only was she cold, but the long floral skirt and black cashmere jumper suddenly didn’t feel casual enough. She didn’t want Jon to think she had made any kind of effort to impress him.

She put her umbrella in the stand by the door and peered into the bar. Unlike yesterday afternoon, when she had sat in there with Frazer, the room was packed. There was a huge log fire blazing in the stone fireplace and a smell of pine smoke mingled with the smell of malt whisky.

Her eyes flicked with apprehension over the crowd. She didn’t see Jon, but she did see Frazer McClarran. He was standing in the doorway of what was probably the private function room, judging by the thumping music coming from it.

It was his friend’s stag night this evening, she remembered.

He wore a dark suit and a blue shirt open at the neck. He looked fabulous. There was no other word to describe him. He glanced across, met her eyes and smiled. She felt her heart jolt against her chest as if a burst of electricity had shot through her.

‘Emma.’ A voice distracted her. ‘Emma, over here.’

She looked over towards the corner of the room. Jon was sitting at a table by himself.

He stood up as she made her way across towards him. It was nearly two years since she had last seen her ex-husband, but he didn’t seem to have changed. He was thirty-six now, yet he had the same blond smooth good looks, the same trendy way of dressing, as if he had just come off a Milan catwalk.

‘Hello, Emma,’ he said, a husky note in his voice.

She felt herself stiffen awkwardly as he reached to kiss her on the cheek.

He didn’t seem to notice, just smiled at her. His hand rested a moment too long at her waist.

‘Hello, Jon.’ She stepped back from him. ‘Where is your colleague?’

‘Lesley won’t be joining me until tomorrow.’ He pulled out a chair for her.

‘I see.’ Emma was disappointed, she had been hoping there would be a third person present. It would have kept things more firmly on a business footing.

‘Can I get you a drink?’ he asked politely.

‘Just an orange juice, thanks. I can’t stay long.’

He frowned. ‘I was hoping you might join me for some supper. I haven’t eaten yet, and you know how I hate to eat alone.’

Yes, she did. She knew so much about him, she thought suddenly, her eyes moving over the firm contours of his face, the deep ocean-blue of his eyes. You didn’t share four years of your life with someone without getting to know all the little things about them. Their pet hates, their passions.

‘I can’t, Jon. I’m sorry. I’ve already eaten.’ That was a lie. She hadn’t been able to face any food tonight because she had been so uptight before she came out. But she wouldn’t spend any more time with Jon than was absolutely necessary.

‘I see.’ He sounded disappointed. ‘I’ll get you that drink, then.’

She watched as he walked to the bar. Then her eyes moved back to the doorway where Frazer had been standing a few moments ago. He had gone. Returned to the party, presumably. The door was closed and the muffled music that filtered through sounded like the kind played when someone was stripping. As it was a stag night, she supposed whatever was going on was typically raucous.

She imagined Frazer leaning against a bar watching some glamorous, curvaceous woman as she peeled off her clothing. For some reason the picture this conjured up was intensely unsettling.

Jon returned with their drinks. ‘So how have you been?’ he asked, taking the seat opposite.

‘Fine. And you?’

‘Great.’ He paused. ‘I was really stunned when I heard you’d moved up here, Emma. Whatever possessed you to bury yourself in a place like this?’

‘I’m really happy here, Jon.’

He didn’t look convinced.

‘I believe congratulations are in order for you and Gina,’ she continued, her manner brisk. ‘I heard that you’ve become a father since I last saw you.’

‘Yes.’ He smiled and took out his wallet, flipping it open to slide a photograph towards her.

She looked at the cute baby, all smiles and dimples, and a part of her heart contracted with pain and regret. ‘She’s beautiful,’ she said honestly. ‘I’m happy for you.’

‘Yes, she’s the light of my life,’ Jon said simply. ‘We called her Bethany. She’ll be one next week.’

Emma smiled and slid the photograph back to him. ‘And how is Gina?’ she asked politely.

‘She’s left me. Our divorce is just about finalised.’

The stark words made Emma sit back in shock. ‘I didn’t know.’

‘She has custody of Bethany, but I’ll have access. We’re just working out the details.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Emma said softly.

He shrugged. ‘In many ways I suppose we weren’t compatible. Not like you and I.’ Jon’s voice had taken on that husky quality she remembered so well, and his eyes were gentle on her face. ‘I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently, Emma, thinking about what I lost when we parted.’

Alarm bells started to ring inside her. She didn’t know what she had expected to happen when she saw her ex-husband again. She had been prepared to feel pain, regret, maybe, but she had never imagined for one moment he would get sentimental.

‘Jon, I’m a different person now.’ Swiftly, she changed the subject. ‘So, about the location for your film. I took the liberty of bringing a few photographs of my house.’

Before she could pick up her bag to find them, he waved the idea aside. ‘There’s no point in my looking through them now. I’ll come out tomorrow and see the place for myself, take a few of my own photographs with a wide-angle lens.’

He regarded her steadily over his glass of whisky. ‘Strange how fate has brought us together again. If I hadn’t bumped into your old friend Tori I might never have found your hiding place.’

‘I’m not hiding myself away, Jon.’ She frowned. ‘What a strange thing to say.’

‘Is it?’ His blue eyes were piercing in their intensity. ‘I’ve missed you, Emma. I can’t tell you how much.’

The gently spoken words made her heart contract painfully.

‘Stay and have supper with me, Em.’ He leaned across the table earnestly.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t—’

‘I know I hurt you in the past,’ he interrupted her swiftly. ‘And I want you to know how sorry I am.’

‘There’s no need for you to say that, Jon. You were honest with me. You…you wanted a family, and I don’t blame you for that.’ Her voice was little more than a whisper. ‘There was no point in us living a lie.’

‘Except that I feel as if I’m living a lie now, without you,’ he murmured gently.

‘It’s too late for this, Jon.’ She cut across him, her emotions in chaos. His arrogant assumption that she was pining away up here and would easily fall into his arms again offended her. Did he think she was so easy that all he had to do was murmur a few words of regret and she would be his again?

She looked into the deep blue of his eyes. She had loved him, given her heart totally to him. Maybe a part of her had hoped for a while that he would come back to her. But Jon had wanted a family more than he’d wanted a wife. They had sat down quite rationally and discussed the options: fostering, adoption. Jon hadn’t been interested in any of those. It wouldn’t be his own flesh and blood, he had said. So Emma had let him go. What else could she have done?

It hadn’t taken him long to find a new partner, someone who had given him the child he wanted. That had hurt.

Did he think she had been sitting around here waiting for him, her life empty without him? Her eyes narrowed on the handsome features as anger came to her rescue. She had far too much pride to let him think for one moment that her life was empty without him.

‘I think maybe you’ve had a couple of whiskys too many.’ Before he could dispute this, she continued firmly, ‘I asked you up here for a business reason, that’s all. Besides, there is someone very special in my life now.’ She threw the little white lie in for good measure, hoping it would make him keep his distance.

‘Tori didn’t tell me.’ He looked stunned. ‘Is it serious?’

‘Yes.’

‘I see.’ He was quiet. ‘I’ve made a fool of myself, haven’t I?’

‘No, of course not.’ She felt wretched now. ‘Look, let’s just forget this conversation and talk about the film you’re making. That’s why you asked me to meet you tonight after all.’

He didn’t answer her. He seemed shellshocked by her news.

‘Are you going to marry him?’ he asked, ignoring her entreaty.

She hesitated, wondering how far she should take this. Maybe she should say no. But then she might have to weather more talk about the past. ‘Yes, I’m going to marry him,’ she said finally.

Jon’s eyebrow’s rose. ‘What’s his name?’

‘Frazer.’ The name spilled automatically from her lips.

‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ Jon said tersely. ‘You can’t have known him long. You’ve only been in Scotland a little over a month.’

‘Of course I know what I’m doing.’ Her voice faltered. Did she know what she was doing? She wasn’t a liar. She was a straightforward, honest person. This was wrong. Using Frazer’s name was wrong. But then, no one would ever know, she told herself firmly, and Jon would be gone soon. ‘It’s a secret at the moment,’ she found herself continuing. ‘We don’t want anyone to know until we’ve broken the news to his family. So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to anyone.’

Jon shrugged. ‘So where is he tonight?’

‘At a stag night.’ Emma’s voice was hollow. Her daring mood had evaporated, leaving a feeling of trepidation in its wake.

‘Not for your wedding!’ He sounded horrified.

‘No, someone else’s wedding,’ Emma replied calmly. ‘Do you think we could get down to discussing business now?’ she asked lightly.

‘I suppose so.’ Jon shrugged. He bent to pick up a briefcase that was sitting next to his feet. ‘I’ve got a few of the requirements here—sizes of rooms, etcetera.’

She watched with a feeling of relief as he took out some printed sheets. The emotion was short-lived, however, because as she glanced up she saw Frazer heading across the room in their direction.

‘Hi.’ He stopped by their table and smiled, that lazy, attractive smile of his. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Fine.’ Her voice felt weak.

Frazer looked over at Jon. ‘You must be Emma’s ex-husband,’ he said easily, holding out a hand. ‘I’m Frazer McClarran. Emma’s next-door neighbour.’

Jon was clearly taken aback. Emma could see that he was weighing Frazer up.

Emma debated saying something like, Oh, this isn’t the Frazer that I’ve been telling you about. Backtracking quickly seemed the only option.

‘And a bit more than that, from what I’ve been hearing.’ Jon preempted her and stood up politely to shake Frazer’s hand. ‘Congratulations.’

Frazer looked puzzled, and Emma felt as if she desperately wanted someone to beam her up out of here. She opened her mouth to say something that would extricate herself from the embarrassing situation. No sound came out.

‘I thought you were at a stag night?’ Jon continued, his tone jovial.

‘I am.’ Frazer nodded towards the other room. ‘I’m just taking a breather. I’m supposed to be minding the groom, so I won’t intrude on you any longer.’

Maybe she was going to get away with this, Emma thought hopefully. If Frazer just left now it would be perfect.

‘Don’t rush off,’ Jon said pleasantly. ‘Let me buy you a drink.’

‘No, really—’

‘I insist.’ Jon pulled out a spare chair. ‘What will you have?’

Frazer hesitated, then sat down. ‘OK. That’s very kind of you. I’ll have a Coke.’

‘A Coke?’ Jon’s eyebrows rose. ‘Won’t you have something a bit stronger by way of a celebration drink?’

‘No, Coke will be fine. I’m driving tonight.’

Frazer watched Jon as he walked away from them to the bar. ‘I thought I’d made it clear that it wasn’t my stag party. What is he talking about?’

Emma didn’t answer him. Her heart was hammering fiercely against her chest.

‘Emma?’ He looked at her, noting the high colour in her cheeks. ‘Do you know what he means? Why is he buying me a celebratory drink?’

Emma shrugged. ‘He might somehow have got the impression that…that you and I are engaged,’ she murmured, in a low, helpless tone.

‘What?’ Frazer stared at her. ‘How the hell did he get that idea?’

She shrugged again. ‘I…I might have given it to him,’ she admitted.

He looked incredulous. Then annoyed. ‘Why would you do that? We hardly know each other, for heaven’s sake.’

‘It was a mad, impulsive moment… I needed him to think I was involved with someone and you were the first available name that sprang to my lips.’

‘Thanks!’ Frazer raked a hand through the darkness of his hair. ‘I know I asked you to have dinner with me, Emma, but taking it as a proposal of marriage was going a bit far, don’t you think?’ he grated sarcastically.

‘You’ve every right to be annoyed,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I shall have to put him straight—’

‘Don’t!’ She stared at him, her eyes wide, pleading. ‘Please.’ She caught hold of his hand as he put it back down on the table, covering it with hers in an automatic gesture. ‘Please do this for me, Frazer. Jon is only going to be here for two days. I’ve told him the engagement is secret, so he won’t tell anyone else.’

‘If he chooses your place as a location for his next film he’ll be here for more than two days.’

‘I didn’t consider that.’ She bit down on her lip. ‘I wasn’t thinking clearly.’

‘You can say that again.’ His voice was dry. ‘Look, I’m not one for playing emotional games. If you want to make the guy feel jealous then choose some other sucker for the task.’

‘I don’t want to make him jealous!’ She took her hand away from his sharply.

‘So what are you playing at?’

She swallowed hard. Her eyes were wide and filled with feeling. For a moment she felt like a little girl, hurt, scared. ‘I just needed to erect some barriers. I don’t expect you to understand, but I had to keep him at a distance.’

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