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“That’s good.” She grinned. “That means I’m doing my job as co-chairperson. You may or may not have also heard that I’m a little over the top about the whole thing?”
“‘Obsessed’ I believe is the term I heard.”
She gave her head a shake. “I’m sure that came from Alex. He thinks I’m nuts, even though he’s helping, albeit grudgingly. But the reason for my enthusiasm is because I plan to win.”
“You?” he repeated sarcastically. “You plan to win?”
They shared a laugh and she went on to explain her strategy. Then added, “The money isn’t enough to restore the pool to its former glory, but it’s enough to get started. I have ideas on how to raise the rest. A refurbished pool and some proper management, and I know this place could pay for itself again. I would love to get the swim team up and running and expand the swim lesson program.”
They spent a few minutes discussing the details until it was time for Eleanor and George to pack it up. She tossed each child a towel, delivered some encouraging words and watched them head for their respective locker rooms.
She could feel Eli’s eyes on her the entire time. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
“You never said why you were looking for me.”
His expression turned sheepish. “I wanted to apologize. I, uh, kind of pushed to be deployed yesterday. I saw you down there in the water and when that piece of debris hit you, it took me back... And I couldn’t—I can’t—stand the thought of something happening to you. Apparently that hasn’t changed.”
She swallowed, but it was difficult what with the gigantic lump lodged in her throat. She tried to think of something to say. There was so much she wanted to say, she didn’t even know where to start. And yet another part of her didn’t want to say anything at all. It seemed better not to revisit their history.
“We both know friendship means more than anything in the world to me. I have always done, and will always do, anything for my friends.” Except for our friendship. Except for me, she wanted to add but didn’t, knowing how pathetic that would sound.
She blew out a breath and looked around, wanting to focus on something besides his beautiful face. It felt painful to meet his eyes. After all these years, it surprised her how much it still hurt. Because they had been friends. Best friends. And she’d relied on that—on him. Too much, she’d realized after their breakup. She’d confided in him, depended on him and, yes, she’d been young but she’d loved him with all of her heart. For seven months they’d been more than friends and she’d given him everything she had—body, mind and soul. And more. She’d promised him her future, and he’d done the same.
Except he’d changed his mind. In what seemed like the blink of an eye he’d changed his mind. He’d broken up with her, saying only that a long-distance relationship would be too difficult. The Coast Guard Academy was intense and he’d need all of his energy to focus on that. She’d understood—as much as her shattered heart had allowed her to. After all, she kept telling herself, they were both intent on their Coast Guard careers, and she still had two years of high school left. Eli did need to focus. So did she. Even though she’d hoped they could do so together.
Three days later he was gone. His dad’s transfer came through and Eli moved with him.
Within a month he was attending the Coast Guard Academy and starting a new life. Without her. And as much as that hurt, she couldn’t hate him. She’d never hated him. Mostly she’d been shocked. She couldn’t blame him for moving on, but she couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t abandoned their friendship in the process.
The reliably practical part of her kicked in again, banishing this unhelpful sappiness. He was here now and she needed to get used to that. She would get used to it. She kind of wanted to get used to it. If she could ignore the physical attraction, weed out the warm fuzzies from her heart, which shouldn’t be that tough because they served no constructive purpose, then maybe they could even get some semblance of that friendship back.
But first she needed to make something clear.
“I appreciate the apology. On some level, I even appreciate the gesture. But you cannot do it again, you know that, right? You’re lucky no one caught on. Actually, I’m the lucky one. I have to work with these guys, Eli. It’s tough enough to be a woman in this profession. I’ve earned their respect, but for any of them to think that you don’t trust my abilities? Or, even worse, that you are somehow giving me special treatment? That would be devastating to my reputation.”
* * *
ELI HADN’T INTENDED for this to happen—this revisiting of old feelings and sharing of some kind of moment. He should have anticipated the depth of feelings he’d still have for her. And why wouldn’t he, when, in typical Aubrey fashion, she was making this reunion, and his near screwup, so easy on him?
She’d done this when he’d broken up with her, too. She’d been all composed and sweet, even though he’d been able to see how much he was hurting her. No screaming or shouting or crying. Just those light green eyes brimming with unshed tears and a quaver in her voice as she’d told him she understood. She’d turned and calmly walked away, her thick blond braid swaying at her waist. It killed him even now to think about it.
In a perfect world, they would have remained friends. But he’d known, even at the time, that he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t just be friends with her. Could he be just friends with her now? Seeing as how that was the only option, he needed to figure out a way. And quickly.
Rekindling a romantic relationship was not possible. If anything, the obstacles were even bigger than they’d been twelve years ago. Back then, when he’d had to let her go, his father’s career and reputation had been on the line—as well as Aubrey’s happiness. If he’d told her all of the truth, she would have been devastated. It would have torn her family apart and shattered her happiness right along with it all.
Now that he was back, the stakes were even higher. His career was the one on the line, and he wasn’t going to let anything—or anyone—stand in his way. Not like his father had. He was going to fulfill his dreams. Not to mention that the same complications still existed surrounding Aubrey and her family. As evidenced by his actions regarding the rescue, the instinct to protect her was still as strong as ever.
She was right about her own reputation. It wouldn’t be good for her if her crew thought someone in his position doubted her. Or that he was trying to protect her by giving her special treatment.
“You’re right. It won’t happen again.”
“It better not,” she said firmly. “Or I will have to kick your butt.”
“I would be okay with that,” he shot back. “In fact, if you want to try, I’m available any night after work. Could we have dinner first?”
Her lips twitched and then she laughed.
Eli felt his heart take flight, even as he told himself to ignore the sensation. But she was just so...irresistible. She always had been. Even when they were kids and had been nothing more than friends, he’d loved being around her. She was smart, funny, athletic, driven and focused, yet she could also be a little shy. She was also adventurous to the point of being wild. Fun. Hard-core fun. They’d always had so much fun together.
And the way she was watching him now was nothing short of dangerous because, in spite of their history, and their breakup, attraction still simmered between them. Good sense told him he should get up and walk out right now.
But he couldn’t seem to stop staring at her, couldn’t quite believe he was finally sitting here next to her. And he had a chance to make things better between them. Back in the day she’d possessed a steely courage and, at some point over the years, a quiet, solid confidence had seeped in to replace the shyness she’d battled as a kid. He liked that, too.
“Aubrey, I know I should have come to you a long time ago to...explain somehow.” That was a dumb thing to say. It was unrealistic because he couldn’t really explain without giving everything away. “I should have at least tried to make things right between us. I never intended them not to be. I just... It was difficult for me to—”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” she answered flatly. “I get it, Eli. I got it a long time ago. We were young. Your career was important.”
He swallowed, knowing he should just let it go at that. It stung, reminding him of how deeply he’d hurt her—how much it had hurt him, too. But if he started explaining, where would he stop? No one here in Pacific Cove seemed to know about the circumstances of his dad’s transfer all those years ago. Except Aubrey’s dad.
Yep, Brian Wynn knew all about it. Still, after all these years, Eli wanted to take the man down. The only thing holding him back was the promise he’d made to his own father, and his desire to protect Susannah Wynn. Lately he’d been thinking about that, though, wondering if he could manage one without the other. Could he be satisfied by getting revenge against Brian Wynn even if the man wasn’t aware of who had extracted it?
“Look, Eli, if you’re worried about me, about something personal regarding our history affecting my job performance or making things difficult for you, I can assure you that won’t happen. My job always comes first. And I think we’ve established that it’s important for you to treat me like anyone else. I will give you the same courtesy.”
“I know that, Aubrey. Your record is impeccable. Your colleagues love you. Everyone on base respects you. I’m proud of you. You should be really proud of yourself.”
He hoped he wasn’t imagining the hint of blush on her cheeks.
She shifted on the bench to look at him. “Alex says you’re here to check up on us?”
Now she was referring to what he was “officially” doing here. The paperwork said that he and Gale were in District 13 to perform an evaluation of the base’s airborne search-and-rescue missions.
“To ensure that proper procedures are being followed.”
She stared back at him, a thoughtful expression on her face. Without her signaling distress or radioing for assistance, it was debatable as to whether he really should have gone into the water after her. No one was questioning what he’d done—yet, anyway. Still, not exactly a stellar example of what he’d just claimed he was here to do. If he was trying to maintain his distance where she was concerned, his actions had pretty much blown that, too. He needed to get his head together where she was concerned, and he needed to get his act together where his job was concerned.
This case had to come first.
His gaze traveled back to the diving board. “How many ‘rescue jumps’ do you think we practiced off that diving board?”
He ignored how her gravelly chuckle sent a jolt of heat through his bloodstream.
“Um, approximately one million and fourteen? Remember how we used to tie towels onto a swim noodle to use as our ‘survivor.’” She added air quotes.
They laughed again, reminiscing about the elaborate “rescue missions” they would invent.
“I can’t stand the thought of this place closing.” He swiveled so he was facing her again. “You think you can win this contest, huh?”
“Of course,” she answered confidently.
“How can I help?”
She smiled. “That’s really sweet, but you just got to town and all. I’m sure there are a million other things you’d rather do with your off time.”
“None of them this important,” he said, ignoring the eye-roll from his conscience. He suddenly wished his motives were as pure and selfless as hers. “I’m serious. I want to help.”
“Well, the crab races are first on the agenda. If you’re serious, I’ll give you Gabby’s number and you can ask her. I’m sure she could use the extra hands.”
Just then her newest student limped out of the locker room wearing a bright blue swimsuit and a knee brace around one leg. She lifted a hand and waved.
Eli’s gaze followed hers, along with a dose of confusion. “She looks familiar. Is that...?”
The girl held up a finger in a just-a-minute gesture.
“Danny Cruz, from the Respite?” She was grinning when she looked his way again. “Yep. I’m going to teach her how to swim.”
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_4afa5d31-fa90-5d12-a73d-d4fb97bebcad)
ONE OF THE many things Aubrey loved about Tabbie’s was that the owner, Lily, didn’t blare music so loud throughout the pub that you couldn’t hear yourself think—or talk to your friends. And the music she did play was a nice mix of country and classic rock. Except during the holidays when vintage Christmas tunes filled the air, like they did now.
It was a popular hangout for Coasties and local folks who were more interested in a sourdough bowl of seafood chowder, a couple microbrews and maybe the latest gossip than in forming a romantic liaison.
Aubrey was sitting in her favorite booth sipping herbal tea and listening to Bing Crosby dream about a white Christmas. Normally she would relish both but right now she couldn’t enjoy either because Nina was busy explaining why her impulsive purchase of the county’s iconic Quinley’s Berry Farm was a good idea. Odd, how she’d been thinking about that place just yesterday. It was like, now that he was back, all things Eli had decided to rise up out of the depths and taunt her.
“This is perfect for me. I need to get out of the city. I need fresh air and space and the countryside.” Nina smoothed her thick ash-blond hair over one shoulder.
“Pacific Cove isn’t exactly a metropolis, Nina. Mayor Hobbes was just telling me last week how his worst fear is that we’re never going to break that three thousand mark.”
The coastlines of Washington and Oregon were dotted with small towns like Pacific Cove. In the summertime the population more than doubled. During weekends and holidays, tourists could swell those numbers manyfold. The nearest city of substantial size was hours away. There was a constant battle between the folks who wanted to maintain this small-town feel and those who wanted “growth.” The proper way to foment that “growth,” as well as acceptable manifestations, varied considerably depending on who you talked to. Although, luckily, most of the town seemed on board when it came to the Christmas competition. Pacific Cove pride was at stake.
“All we have here is fresh air. Unless you’re down at the docks and then it can get a little fishy.”
“I love pie,” Nina countered as if this was also a legitimate argument for her relocation to the countryside.
“So...what?” Aubrey asked with a baffled shake of her head.
“Everyone loves pie.” She jabbed a finger Aubrey’s way. “Well...except you.”
“I like pie. I just don’t eat it because it has too much sugar.”
“Yeah, well, as I was saying almost everyone eats pie. Therefore, they would love berries with which to make pies, right? Or muffins or jam or...compote or aioli or whatever the foodies are into these days. And smoothies—you eat those. I could sell them at the farmer’s market in Astoria.”
Aubrey stared blandly at her sister even as her heart clenched inside her chest. Less than a year ago her big sister, at the age of thirty, had been running her own wildly successful marketing company. She’d owned a three-million-dollar showpiece of a home in California and a vacation house in Aspen. That was before her world had imploded. Now she was going to retire to the countryside where she planned to grow organic berries and bake pies?
Nina met her eyes with a solid challenging gaze of her own. She was going to make her say it? Fine. If that’s what it took to keep her sister safe, she’d say it. Aubrey accepted that it was her role in life to keep people safe—including her family.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be living that far out.”
“It’s twelve miles from town. I clocked it yesterday when I drove out there. That’s hardly far out.”
“You know what I’m talking about. You’re way closer to civilization here.”
“You honestly believe the Cove is civilization?” she quipped.
“You know what I mean.” Aubrey stared, willing her sister to take this seriously.
Nina began fiddling with her silverware. “I haven’t had a seizure in ages.”
Her sister had been diagnosed with epilepsy when she was a teenager. Medication had kept it under control, an occasional seizure cropping up only now and then. Something had changed when her marriage began to fall apart. Stress, the neurologist hypothesized. Aubrey believed it; she couldn’t imagine anything more stressful than the breakup of her sister’s marriage to the lying, abusive Doug Halloren.
There was really no way to know for sure, but Nina had been through hell. Whatever the trigger, the result had been an increase in the frequency and intensity of her seizures. Changes in medication, dosages and counseling to manage her stress level had ensued in an effort to get her stable. To Aubrey’s way of thinking, that stability had yet to be achieved and her city-girl sister moving even farther out into the country was not going to help matters.
“Six months and three days is ages?”
Brows scooted up onto the flawless alabaster skin of her sister’s forehead. “You keep track?”
“Of course I keep track. You’re my sister. I love you.” And she did. Bottom line, the thought of her living so far out by herself scared her to death. “You know what? Forget about civilization. You’re closer to me living here and that’s what I want. Let’s make this about me.”
“That is so sweet. I don’t know what I’d do without you—what I would have done without you all these months.” Nina reached over and squeezed her hand. “But it’s too late. I signed the papers this morning. I’m moving in this Thursday.”
“Thursday! Without even talking to me about this first?”
She dipped her chin and looked up at Aubrey through her lashes. “I know you, too, Aubrey. Just as well as you know me. I knew you would try and talk me out of it.”
No point in trying to deny that.
Nina gave her a beseeching smile. “Please try to understand, okay? I need something. I need... I don’t know what I need, but this feels right somehow. Mom and Dad will be home for Christmas soon. I’m excited to show them how much better I am. Dad is so...judge-y. Especially when it comes to me. I want them to see that I can take care of myself again. I know they’ve had their doubts. And I can understand that. But I’m better now—you know that. I could really use your support here.”
“Of course you can take care of yourself. No one doubts that. And Dad is not judge-y. He only wants you to be happy. But...a farm? How are you even going to...?”
A Santa-hat-wearing waitress stopped by to take their orders. Aubrey complimented her festive attire and requested another minute.
Nina reached down to the seat beside her and heaved a large three-ring binder onto the table between them. Giving it a firm pat with the palm of her hand, she added, “Don’t worry, I have months to read up on how to be a farmer.”
She had no idea what to even say to that. Did her sister seriously believe a notebook was going to teach her how to be a commercial berry farmer?
“Plus, I ordered three pairs of overalls from Amazon and the barn came with a pitchfork.”
Aubrey snuffled out a surprised laugh.
“According to the Quinleys, buying in the winter is the way to go. Gives me plenty of time to get up to speed.”
“Gives them plenty of time to get that humongous RV to Sedona in time to spend the holidays with their new grandbaby you mean?”
Nina let out a chuckle. “There is that.” Something caught her attention in the direction of the door. “There’s Alex! And, wait, is that...?”
Aubrey turned to look.
“Oh, my... Is that Eli? He looks...different. Wow. Even better.”
