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Rick had mentioned his difficulty to his parents but they kept reassuring him that Gillian would be proud of him no matter what he did. Nice thought but it did nothing to appease the guilt nestled inside him. He was the twins’ guardian because Gillian trusted him to do his best for Katie and Kyle. Good enough wasn’t his best.
“This is where You step in, God,” he murmured. “I need help. Now that Greg’s out with that back operation I’ve got to keep the company running on my own. It isn’t easy to keep all our jobs going, let alone make time for the kids. Can’t You send someone to care for them as Gillian would have done, as a mother would?”
The company wasn’t behind but there was the job at Wranglers Ranch coming up and that had Rick worried. He needed to start building those cabins immediately or he’d miss their September first completion deadline. The one thing he and Greg had vowed when they’d started RG Construction was that they’d always keep their promises. The day he’d buried his sister, Rick had promised Gillian the same.
Boy, he missed her. If only...
With a sigh for what couldn’t be changed, Rick pulled into his yard and up to the front porch, grimacing when his headlights highlighted the unfinished projects littering his yard. He’d only had the place a few months before the kids arrived, just long enough to build a basketful of dreams and fill a notebook of plans. Paint the outbuildings, repair the pasture fences, buy some horses to breed, trim the long grass and cut the overgrown bushes—that was only the beginning of what needed doing. But he hadn’t started any of it because now his days were consumed with caring for Kyle and Katie, making sure they were safe and as happy as possible as they all adjusted to life without Gillian.
Actually, Rick wasn’t upset by the sidelining of his plans. He’d gladly do whatever it took to keep Katie and Kyle healthy and happy. He’d vowed that six months ago, the day he’d carried them out of their burning home, the day he’d failed to save Gillian.
Caring for Gillian’s kids was his duty and nothing would change that. Not the grief that almost consumed him every time he thought of his sister dying in that inferno. Not the urging of his former fiancée, Gina, who’d not only been repulsed by his scars but also determined not to burden her upcoming marriage with someone else’s children, which had ended their relationship. Certainly not the twins’ paternal grandparents, who were still deeply mourning the loss of their only son, who’d died last year on the mission field.
Rick carried the kids inside and tucked each into bed, loving their sleepy hugs and moist good-night kisses against his scarred cheek.
“Love you, Uncle Rick.”
“Love you, too,” he whispered, his throat closing with emotion.
Only when they were fast asleep did he retrieve the groceries from the truck. Once they were put away Rick sat on his porch, savoring the night’s cooler breezes that washed down the slopes of the Rincon Mountains. He resumed his earlier prayer.
“You know I’m committed to the kids. Only how am I supposed to do my job and care for them, Lord?” he murmured just before thunder rumbled in the distance.
No answer. How did you make sense of God when two little kids bawled because they wanted to be held by their mommy, and you could do nothing to stop their tears?
When lightning split the sky in a brilliant spear that hurt the eyes, Rick went inside. Katie might wake up afraid or Kyle might need a drink. He had to be there for them.
“I’m hanging on to my faith by a thread here,” he whispered as sheets of rain pelted the tired old ranch house. “I could use some help, something to show me that You care for us, have a plan in store for us, that something good is on the way. Please?”
He waited, not sure what he expected. But when the rain stopped and the moon came out, nothing had changed. Rick was still a single parent to two recently bereaved kids, with a major building contract scheduled to start in two days.
“Could you at least send me a nanny?” he prayed desperately. “Someone like that woman I met at the grocery store?”
Penny. Her face filled his mind—pretty, happy, fresh-faced and eager to embrace life. Her short, spiky blond hair tousled so it emphasized big blue eyes that glowed whenever she looked at the kids. She’d said she was a teacher so she’d know how to handle kids. And she was practical. Look at the way she’d organized his groceries and then pushed his cart.
“Yeah, somebody like her would be perfect. Can you send me someone like Penny? For the kids’ sake?”
It was a desperation prayer, unworthy of the faith his parents had instilled in him since he was Kyle’s age. But since this plea was for the twins’ sake Rick didn’t mind asking for the impossible.
He wasn’t sure what he expected but when nothing happened he rose with a weary sigh, prepared the breakfast bar for the morning meal and set the coffeepot to start automatically.
Then Rick dropped into bed and fell asleep to the memory of Penny’s musical voice saying, “Let me help you.”
Chapter Two (#u134dfa13-6ad3-5ed8-8ad7-97fc3f8b2db6)
“Do you think Wranglers Ranch Day Care has enough toys?”
Startled, Penny whirled around. Rick Granger stood in the doorway, a twin on either side. The three of them gaped in disbelief at the big room bulging with every conceivable plaything a child could dream of.
“Please come in.” Penny chuckled at the astonished expressions. “Almost enough,” she teased.
“Almost? You couldn’t get any more toys onto those shelves,” Rick said with a shake of his head.
“You might be surprised. Hi, Katie. I love your dress.” Penny hid her shock at seeing Katie’s shorn hair stuck up in odd places and managed to return the little girl’s grin before turning to her brother. “And you’re Kyle. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Penny.” She smiled at him. “Would you two like to play with the blocks on that table while your uncle and I have a chat?”
One glance at the toys and the kids took off, leaving Rick and Penny alone.
“The toys are Sophie’s fault,” Penny explained with a laugh. Then she frowned. “You know Sophie, right?”
“Sophie Johns, wife of Tanner, owners of Wranglers Ranch.” Rick nodded. “Tanner is a good friend of mine, and now he’s also a client.”
“Okay, good. So anyway, Sophie said that buying so much helped her convince herself that her dream was actually going to happen.” Penny glanced around, pleased with what they’d accomplished. “She’s dreamed of starting an on-site daycare for Wranglers employees since baby Carter was born.” She noted his wide-eyed look and tongue in cheek asked, “Is it too much?”
“For anyone else, maybe.” Rick looked at her with a straight face but his dark eyes were twinkling. “In Sophie’s case, it’s probably restrained.”
“You do know her.” Penny burst out laughing.
“She said you wanted to talk to me.” He checked his watch as if he had a hundred things to do and was mentally preparing to tick this one off his list.
“Yes, I do. I’d tell you to have a seat but—” Embarrassed, she swallowed the rest of her comment.
“I wouldn’t fit?” Rick’s brown eyes crinkled at the corners with his grin. “No, I wouldn’t. So I’ll sit here.” He sank onto the floor and crossed his legs in front of him, one knee poking through the rip in his jeans. He set his Stetson beside him then smiled at her. “Nice to see you again, Penny.”
“You, too, Rick.” Penny cleared her throat and assumed her most businesslike tone, refusing to let her gaze stray to the scar on his cheek. “Sophie asked if I might be able to help you with caring for the twins until Wranglers Ranch Day Care opens. Then she said that they will attend here.”
“That’s what she told me, too.” Rick blinked at her in surprise before he glanced around once more. “She also said this place will open July first.”
“That’s the goal.” Penny arched one eyebrow. “So before I know if I can help you I’d like to know about a regular day in your life and what you need for the twins.”
“Sorry if I look a little surprised. I had no idea Sophie was going to ask you to help.” He frowned then swallowed. “So my partner and I own a construction company. Since he’s out with medical issues, I’ve had to take on running all three of our crews. I don’t want to lay off any of my men but the pace of running so many jobs on my own is hectic.” Rick stole a quick glance at the giggling twins. “Six months ago the twins lost their mother, my sister, G-Gillian, in a house fire.”
“Oh, no.” Her heart crimped with sympathy when he stumbled over her name. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” Rick paused then continued in a stronger tone. “I’m the twins’ guardian so I need to do everything I can to provide them with a good home, which I’m trying to do. But I can’t be with them all the time. Even though I want to.”
“Of course you can’t, but good for you for wanting to,” she said and meant it.
“So I need some help. The thing is—” Rick cleared his throat then looked directly at her “—I’m not very knowledgeable about the whole fatherhood thing but I feel like the twins need stability and I don’t feel I’m providing that because my hours are so long. Most daycare hours don’t coordinate with my schedule, and nannies—well, let’s say they haven’t worked that well for us.” He lowered his gaze to his hands. “The twins are a bit—” He paused, obviously searching for the right descriptive.
“Mischievous?” Penny supplied and chuckled when he nodded, his look dour.
“Exactly. I hired a very experienced woman named Helga to watch them. One day when she fell asleep Katie tied her shoelaces together. In knots. Helga quit.” He sighed as if her resignation had been unpleasant. “Next I hired a younger person to work with the kids, a guy who had a lot of energy and a list of impressive credentials. He kept the twins busy but he had some, er, unusual ideas about the kind of stories they needed to fuel their imaginations. His vampire tales caused the kids some sleepless nights and neither they nor I could handle all his zombie talk.”
“Oh, dear.” Rick’s fed-up expression forced Penny to stifle her amusement.
“Someone suggested I try a student who was looking for a summer job so I hired my neighbor’s daughter to babysit.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Penny murmured encouragingly.
“It should have been but she got a little too busy texting her boyfriend and let Katie and Kyle make lunch. My insurance company dropped me after that fiasco and I dropped her.” Rick threw up his hands. “Have I scared you off yet?”
“No. Children need to be kept busy and they require close supervision.” Penny glanced at the twins, trying not to stare at Katie’s almost bald spot. Poor little orphans. “So basically you require someone to care for them while you work.”
“Yes. But everyone I’ve talked to wants a set schedule and I can’t offer that. If something at a job comes up, I have to be there.” He looked—embarrassed? “But that’s not all.”
“It’s not?” Intrigued, Penny waited.
“Actually, my problem is twofold. I’m struggling with leaving the twins with others.” He looked ashamed by the admission and also stubborn, both at the same time. “Katie and Kyle just lost their mother. I want them to feel secure. But whenever I picked them up from daycare, they seemed sad. That’s why I thought having somebody come to my place would be easier for them and maintain some stability in their world.”
“But it also makes finding care more challenging,” she guessed.
“I know.” Rick sighed. “The kids talk about how much they miss Gillian. That’s natural and they don’t do it constantly. But those moments aren’t scripted. They just happen. So I can’t ask them to wait until seven each night or Saturday morning to talk about it. If I’m not there for them when they need me—” His gloomy face revealed how deeply he was torn by the situation. “I’m trying to do my best but sometimes they cry. A lot. I must be doing something wrong.”
“That’s not necessarily true, Rick.” Penny’s heart went out to him. This man was so determined to do the right thing for two bereaved little kids. She admired him very much.
“What do you mean?” Was that hope brightening his dark eyes?
“Being together without Gillian is a time of change for all of you. You’re all in mourning for someone you loved a great deal. Kids often express their feelings by crying.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry. Those sharing moments will still happen. Katie and Kyle will still turn to you when they need you.” She glanced over one shoulder, noting how well adjusted the twins seemed. “You know there’s nothing wrong with choosing part-time daycare and part-time one-on-one care. Whatever works best for you should drive your decision. That and the twins’ welfare.”
“Are you sure?” He looked relieved when she nodded.
“Positive. To me, Katie and Kyle seem very well adjusted though I haven’t known them long. As long as they know you’ll be there if they need you, I think you’ll see that they will feel secure.” Privately Penny wondered if Rick ever took any time for himself but decided now wasn’t the time to ask.
“So would you be able to care for them? I know that as a teacher you’re around kids all the time and this is your break time—” He stopped when she shook her head.
“Not quite. At school I have children around me for about six hours.” Penny glanced at the twins, smiling at the massive tower they’d built. “Teachers are free at recess and lunch hour. Also, I don’t wake up with children or take them home with me at the end of my day as you do.”
Though I wish I could.
“You’re saying teaching isn’t like parenting. Okay, I get that.” But Rick still didn’t look convinced.
“If I asked, I suspect you’d say building is your passion. Well, kids are mine.” Penny held his gaze as she made her point. “As a teacher, I want the kids I work with to learn strength and self-reliance. I want them to grow into positive adults with the skills that will help them learn how to manage their world.”
“Admirable,” he agreed with a nod. “But it seems like that’s a lot to ask of a teacher in a public school situation.”
“Believe me, in these hard economic times with all the strife in our country, that is something I struggle with every day I teach—to make time for the important stuff.” Penny smiled. “But this is about you, Rick. And the twins. So tell me a little more about your lives.”
“Okay. Gillian and her husband were missionaries in Mali, West Africa. A little over a year ago he died there in an uprising. She was bereft and moved home with the twins. And then Gillian died—” He stopped. Gulped and started again. “The twins have had it very rough. I’m trying to make up for their loss.”
“You can’t, Rick.” It was hard to say but this man needed to hear the truth so in spite of his pinched lips Penny kept going. “It doesn’t matter what you say or how much you do. You will never be able to replace Katie and Kyle’s parents.”
“But—” The poor man looked so devastated that Penny wanted to hug him. Instead she rushed to reassure him.
“What you can do is be the very best uncle you’re able. That’s what they most need right now,” she added.
Just then Katie walked over and snuggled under his arm. Rick smiled at her, brushed a kiss against the top of her shorn head and hugged her close. Thus reassured, Katie skipped back to where her brother played.
“See? You were just there for Katie. That’s what they need.” Penny couldn’t stifle her curiosity about this man and his family. “Do they have grandparents?”
“Two sets. Their dad’s parents live in New Hampshire. They’re still devastated by their son’s death, and ill health makes it tough for them to visit Tucson so I set it up for the kids to Skype with them once a week.” Rick gazed at her as if to ask if he was doing the right thing.
“That’s very smart of you. Keeping family close to us helps lessen a loss.” Or so the books said. Penny didn’t have any family so she had no firsthand experience, but it seemed logical. She waited but when he didn’t say anything more, she asked, “And your parents?”
“They live near Sonoita, which isn’t that far from Tucson, but they’re kept really busy during summer with the lake, their motel and a restaurant so they don’t come here often. I try to run the twins down as often as I can.” Rick stared at the pair with stark grief on his face. “I think it helps ease Mom and Dad’s loss over Gillian when they’re with the twins.”
“I’m sure. Who helps ease your loss?” The moment the question left her lips, Penny regretted asking it. She sounded nosy.
“You’re asking about a wife or a girlfriend?” He shook his dark head. “I was engaged but Gina called it off after the accident. Turns out she didn’t want a marriage with two kids in the mix, which was a good thing to learn then because there was no way I would ever abandon my sister’s children. Not after I—”
I what? she wanted to demand, frustrated that he left the words hanging.
Penny waited for Rick to pull himself out of the introspection he’d fallen in. She truly admired his sturdy love and commitment for the two orphaned children. Liked his tough determination to do the best for them. He was kind, generous and sincere. Best of all, he was one of those men who paid attention to the most important things in life—like family.
Penny knew that if she took on the twins she’d enjoy friendship with Rick, too, but she’d have to get rid of that flutter of appreciation that winked inside her when he looked at her. He was extremely good-looking despite the scar and he had a warm, engaging personality.
But Penny had allowed herself to fall in love twice and both times it had backfired, leaving her decimated and filled with crippling self-worth. She was better now, more in control. Enough so that she had vowed she would never again depend on any man to fulfill her dreams or to create her happily-ever-after. Instead she was going to focus on making her dreams come true on her own.
Well, with God’s help.
Romance? Well, if it came along sometime in the future, she’d consider it. But she wasn’t going to look for love. Love was something for the future. Maybe. Not now. Not even if Rick Granger made her heart pitter-patter and her stomach beat in time to a Sousa march.
Penny had survived the worst. Now she was looking for the best God had to offer. Getting dumped when her world was falling apart had taught her self-reliance.
Despite this hunky uncle and his adorable twins, she wasn’t going to risk heartache again.
* * *
“Does teaching help you know so much about kids?” Rick asked, glancing at Penny’s bare ring finger. “Because you said you don’t have your own kids.”
“I guess.” She pinched her lips together but when he raised an eyebrow she explained in a tight, strained voice. “I’m neither married nor a mom.”
“Seems like a mistake on some man’s part.” He shrugged at her surprised look. “You’re beautiful and smart and educated.”
“Well, thank you. I think.” The perky smile Penny usually wore disappeared, leaving her looking like a wounded bird, ducking her head against her chest as if she was uncomfortable.
Funny. Rick barely knew her and yet he couldn’t imagine Penny without children around her. She’d been so good with Katie that night at the store.
“You don’t want a family?”
“It’s impossible.” Clearly she did not want to talk about it. “To get back to babysitting the twins. As you know, I’m helping Sophie organize Wranglers Ranch Day Care. That means that when it’s up and running you’ll be able to bring Katie and Kyle here while you’re working on-site building the cabins, right?”
“That’s what she said. But what about until then? And when I finish the job here, what do I do? The twins will still need someone to care for them on the days they don’t attend school.” Stymied and eager for her advice, Rick was pretty sure getting to know this lady would be very interesting.
“I can help you out occasionally,” Penny offered. “And I might know an older lady who could alternate with me, if needed.” Her eyes were once more that desert-sky blue, rich and fathomless. Penny Stern might look frail and delicate with those silvery-blond wisps framing her gamine face, but Rick had a hunch that this woman had the courageous heart of a lioness. “Would that work?”
“Yes, but what about you?” Rick studied her. “Summer is your vacation. Don’t you have plans?”
“Not really. I was going to go water-skiing with my friend and her husband. That’s my most favorite thing to do. But they’re using their summer break to tour Australia.” Penny shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “I’ll probably head to the beach for a weekend here and there, do some painting at my house, volunteer for Vacation Bible School at church in August. Stuff like that.” She grinned. “And watch Katie and Kyle.”
