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“Ready and on the way to you by courier. Contractor says he’ll start digging right away. Got some materials coming in the first of next week.” Rich sounded very smug. “Pool should be ready right on time.”
Those words sent a shiver up his spine, but Gabe ignored it. He’d deal with the past one step at a time. He couldn’t ignore it any longer.
Gabe didn’t know how else to broach the subject so he asked it straight out. “Rich, what happens if I get married?”
Silence.
“Well, uh, I guess you get a wife. Why?” The tentative response verged on suspicion.
Gabe swallowed, then dove in. “Remember Blair?”
Guarded silence, then a whoosh of air. “Yeah, I remember. Had you tied up in knots for months after she left town. Why?”
“She’s here. It’s her grandfather who’s selling the land.”
“Uh-oh.” Papers rattled. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I don’t know.” He waited a moment. “She’s raising my son, Rich.” Gabe was stunned at the measure of satisfaction and pride he felt in saying those words. Son. Child of mine.
“What!” Rich burst into a volley of questions, which he proceeded to answer himself. Then he trotted out a list of things Blair could do to lay claim to the company, which he could prevent by suing for custody. “I’ll have the papers to you in two days.”
“I don’t want to sue her for custody,” Gabe murmured as an idea grew, taking shape and form in his mind. “I think I want to get to know my son. His name is Daniel.”
“Daniel? Your father’s name.” Rich’s voice was sharp. “How did she find out?”
Gabe smiled. Rich had learned distrust the hard way. Gabe had taught him all about it every time the young lawyer handled another deal. Now the man was as paranoid as he. The thought was not comforting.
“I don’t know that she has found out anything. But that doesn’t matter right now. I just know that this kid thinks he needs a father, and I can’t turn my back on that. I remember what it was like too well.”
“I suppose you do.” Rich was silent for a long time. But when he finally spoke, his voice was filled with ominous warning. “Gabe, are you sure this child is yours?”
“Oh, yes. He’s mine. That is not in question. Besides, Blair wouldn’t lie.” Though, if he remembered correctly, Blair hadn’t told him anything about Daniel. His lips tightened. “So, buddy, how do I go about forcing her to let me get to know the boy?”
“You’re sure you want to do this?” Rich’s voice urged him to reconsider.
“I’m sure. His name will be Daniel Sloan, but he’s not going to have a childhood like mine. Not if I can help it.”
Rich appeared to accept this, for he offered no further objections. Instead his voice softened, bounding over the phone line with enthusiasm.
“I think you’ll make a great father, Gabe. And Blair always did worship the ground you walked on. If I remember correctly, she was ready to marry you. Why would she object to your presence now? I never did understand why she took off like that. You never said.” A pregnant pause offered the opportunity.
Gabe swallowed, but he wouldn’t lie to himself or his friend. He’d lived his life by dealing in cold, hard truth. He wouldn’t stop now.
“It was my fault, I demanded she sign that prenup when I knew deep down that she wouldn’t. I used her, Rich. I took her love and put my own conditions on it. And then I let her go as if it didn’t matter. Yeah, she loved me once. I don’t think that’s going to be an issue now. She might agree to marry me, if I pushed it, but it would only be for Daniel’s sake.”
He remembered her sad, mournful words when she’d phoned him the morning of their wedding day.
“I planned a white wedding in the church. My grandfather was going to walk me down the aisle. My great-aunt is bringing a big, showy cake. I was going to promise to love you forever. I was going to make sure we had lots of pictures so we could tell our children how happy we were.”
Gabe could still hear his caustic laugh. “Forever is in the movies, Blair. It doesn’t happen in real life. And I won’t be having any children. Not ever.” He let her hear the steel in his voice. “I’m not the father type. That part is nonnegotiable.”
She’d gone silent then. He could almost see her face pinch tightly. Her voice, when it came at last, was soft, broken, brimming with tears.
“Goodbye, Gabriel Sloan. I love you. I’m sorry you won’t believe that you’re capable of more than making money.”
“Gabe? Gabriel!” Rich’s worried tones kicked him to the present.
“I’m here.” He sighed. “I don’t think marriage is an option anymore, Rich.”
“Are you sure you don’t just want to sue for custody? Take the kid away. With your bankroll, you’d win hands down.”
Daniel’s bright, expectant face rolled into his mind’s eye. Gabriel shook his head.
“Daniel’s lived with her for over five years,” he whispered. “She loves him and he loves her. I won’t destroy that.” I just want to stay on the edges, feel the warmth, understand what makes a family.
“Up to you, buddy. Okay then, if you’re determined to get close to the kid, I guess the surest way is to threaten custody. If she’s as good a mother as you think, she’d marry you rather than lose her kid.”
Gabe laughed, but there was nothing amusing in the thought. “I don’t think she’d ever marry me, Rich. And I sure can’t marry her. You of all people know I’m not a family kind of man.” He swallowed hard. “Six, almost seven years, but, after all, what’s really changed?”
“Then you bluff. Threaten everything you can think of. I know you, Sloan. You’ll think of something to make her see you’re better suited to raising the kid than her.”
Gabe hung up with the advice still ringing in his ears.
But you’re not better suited, not at all. It’s just another lie you let people believe, his conscience reminded him. You couldn’t possibly take that boy from the one person who loves him more than life. You have nothing to offer him. At least, nothing that really matters.
“What do I know about being a father?” he whispered, worry overtaking his brain. “How can I be sure that I won’t do something wrong? That I won’t scar him or cause something that will make him unhappy years down the road, after I’m gone?”
It was a prospect he had to deal with. He knew how easily that could happen. His father hadn’t wanted to leave his son the memories he carried. At least, Gabe told himself that, hoping it was true. But Daniel, Sr., hadn’t been able to accept the son he’d fathered, either. Gabe simply didn’t fit the baseball and fishing mold his father had set.
In fact, Gabe hated sports. All he’d ever wanted was to create things, to build things. To use his brain. Being sent to his room in punishment had provided hours of solitude to do just that.
“I won’t force Daniel to be a replica of me,” he assured his tired brain. “He doesn’t have to like computers. If he wants to fish, I’ll fish. I can learn that stuff. The company’s okay, now. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need. I owe it to myself to take some time off—to see if Blair and I can make a go of it.” He thought about Mac’s letter. Why had it arrived when it had? Was God giving him a second chance?
“I owe it to him to do better than my dad did for me.”
Which shouldn’t be hard, given the past.
You owe him love.
That word sent a shiver of worry through his brain. Love? Gabe didn’t think he had it in him. Not the kind of love the songs were about, the kind of love he’d read about in stories and poems. Certainly not the emotion that required you to give away everything you valued for the sake of someone else, the kind of love that made you vulnerable and weak, prey to others.
“He doesn’t need to see that part of me,” Gabe told himself. “He’ll never know about that. I’ll make sure of it.”
But as he lay in his hotel room thinking about a black-haired little boy and his too solemn mother, Gabe wondered how he’d keep that shriveled-up, scared part of himself locked away when he’d spent such a large part of his life wondering where the next con to get his money would come from.
“One day at a time,” he reminded himself. “With God’s help, I’ll face this one day at a time. That’s what Pastor Jake said on Sunday.”
Surely if you kept your eyes on the future, you couldn’t get caught up in the past?
“Daniel’s my only chance to make amends,” he whispered, eyes closed as he prayed for help. “At least if I mess up, and I probably will, I know that Blair will make sure my son gets all the love he needs. He won’t end up like me.”
Please, God, don’t let him end up all alone like me.
Chapter Three
I don’t understand how You could do this to me, God. Mac’s always loved me, I know he has. Why did he have to find Gabe, send him that letter, stir things up? Why couldn’t he have left well enough alone? Why did You let it happen?
Days later, and it was still a silly question! Blair knew the answer, at least the one Mac had given this morning when she’d asked.
“I’m old, honey. Some days I get tired and feeling down. I miss your gran, God rest her soul. Lots of times, all I want is to go to Heaven and rest, talk to God about things, give Myrtle a hug and kiss. But I couldn’t ever die peacefully if I thought you and Daniel weren’t cared for. It wouldn’t be right.”
“We’re fine, Grandpa. We’re managing really well now. I have the business and it’s growing, Willie’s doing better with those new pills and Albert hasn’t had anything to drink since a year ago at Christmas.”
Mac had snorted derisively. “Ha! You’re lying to yourself, Busy Bee. We’re scraping by and just barely doing that. What happens if the bees don’t produce their usual this year? Or if some of those orders get canceled? We’ll be in hot water then, and no mistake.” He’d patted the pocket that held his bankbook with smug satisfaction. “At least this way I can be sure you’ll have a nest egg to fall back on, and you’ve got the right to leave your hives in place for the next three years. He paid a lot for that land, you know.”
“He can afford it. And that’s a bunch of baloney, Grandfather! You’re as healthy as a horse! Selling that land to Gabe was just a way to manipulate him into finding out about Daniel, and you know it. I thought you loved us more than that.”
She fixed him with a stern look, but Mac didn’t back down.
“It’s because I love you two so much that I did it. You and Daniel need Gabe. And he needs a chance to be the boy’s father. He’s ready to move ahead with his life. Leaving the city and that company prove that. I think he’s changed.”
“You don’t know that, Mac. Gabe takes the company wherever he goes. And he doesn’t want to be a father, not at all. It’s just a duty thing.” She shut off the piercing memory of that moment, that one single second of pure joy when he’d looked, really looked at Daniel, fully acknowledged that the child was part of him. She’d hoped to argue her case more fully. But Mac had shrugged and walked away.
Reality intruded as Blair dipped another taper into the wax and watched while it drizzled off, knowing that she was spoiling its finish by waiting so long. But today, business just didn’t seem as important. She had to figure out what to do, decide how she was going to explain to Daniel that Gabe wouldn’t be his father. Not ever.
“After all, he’s had more than seven days to accept the idea. And he hasn’t called, hasn’t even spoken to Daniel. What kind of a father is that?”
No kind of father at all. Which was exactly why she’d never told Gabe about her son. He hadn’t wanted to be a father, that much she was clear on. If she’d doubted it then, watching him avoid the children she worked with in her spare time would have been enough. And there were his words over the phone that last awful morning. I’ll never be a father. The idea was repugnant to him!
The phone pealed a summons. “Hey, Blair!”
“Clarissa? How are you?” Blair grinned as she envisioned her formerly thin college buddy now hugely pregnant with the twins she’d been told to expect.
“I’m big, okay? Enough said.” Clarissa’s normally sweet voice halted, then continued. “I just read something I thought you might be interested in. Gabriel Sloan has handed over management of his company to a group of vice presidents.”
Blair gulped, then nodded. “He’s here, Pris. Mac sold him a piece of land, and he’s apparently going to build a house on it. Some kind of castle affair, if the rumors are true.”
Clarissa’s voice wavered quietly down the wire. “Does he know?”
“About Daniel? Yeah, he knows.”
Clarissa’s mutter of protest left no room for doubt. She was mad. “They don’t let women as big as me fly, Blair Delaney, but if you don’t spill the beans, I’ll sic Briony on you. And you know how inquisitive she is.”
Blair giggled at the reminder of their friend and former college roomie, the third in their group who had also been dumped by her sweetheart. Bri had a scientist’s mind. She liked the facts laid out clearly and concisely. She never accepted “no” for an answer.
“Nice try, Pris. But you can’t. Bri’s off somewhere in the Canadian Rockies doing the last bit of research for her thesis.” Blair unplugged the kettle and poured herself a cup of hot water, dipping the lemon mint tea bag in and out rhythmically for several moments.
“I see.”
Blair waited, a tiny smile nudging the corner of her lips. Clarissa didn’t disappoint her.
“Wade? I’ll need the van. I’m going on a little trip to see an old college buddy who’s trying to hold something back.”
“No, you are not traveling, Clarissa Featherhawk! You’re staying right there.” A mutter of threats rumbled across the line. “All right, already! Gabriel Sloan arrived a few days ago. He’s staying in the hotel in Teal’s Crossing and he’s tearing up my land as we speak. That’s all I know.”
“Is he still as good looking?”
Blair closed her eyes, took a deep breath and admitted the truth. “Yes.” She let her mind brood on the ultra short raven’s wing hair, the hard jawline, the full mocking lips.
“Does he still have those glacial green meltwater eyes?” Clarissa demanded. “I’ve never seen eyes that could turn such an aquamarine color. He used to make my knees shake when he looked at me.”
Still does, Blair wanted to yell. She quelled that schoolgirl response.
“I never understood why his Hollywood buddies didn’t offer him a job. He’s every woman’s dream man.” Clarissa giggled. “Except mine, of course. Wade’s the one I dream of.”
“Lucky Wade.” Blair covered a rush of feelings by asking Clarissa innumerable questions about her pregnancy, her husband of almost one year, her readymade family. Anything to keep the talk off of Gabe.
“You’re stalling, Blair. Trying to throw me off the scent. That’s always a good sign. I guess I’d better let you go so you can think about Gabe some more.” Clarissa chuckled at her mumbled protest. “Keep me posted,” she ordered before she rang off.
“As if there’s anything to keep her posted on!” Blair said to herself. She emptied her cold tea into the sink and concentrated on work.
“So this is where you’re hiding out?”
Blair whirled, shocked as much by the low, amused tones as by the sound of his rich, full voice echoing among the rafters of her bee barn.
“I wasn’t hiding,” she disagreed. “I have work to do. Unlike some people I could mention. Are all the little peons at Polytech too busy to miss you, Gabe?” She got back to dipping.
He didn’t take offense. Instead he walked up and watched what she was doing.
“If you want the truth, they don’t want me there anymore,” he told her, a mocking smile tilting his lips. “It seems that I’m bad for their thinking. Their productivity goes way up when the boss isn’t hovering around.” He watched as her hands suddenly became busier with a series dipper that held six wicks. “I didn’t know you sold dipped candles, too. Can I try that?”
Blair frowned, but after studying his face, she found no hint of mockery. He looked genuinely interested in her work.
“I suppose.” She showed him how to dip the wicks, then turn and redip to get the multicolored effects her customers loved.
Gabe tried several, lips pursed in concentration as he perfected the action. When she could stand the silence no longer, Blair took the rack out of his hand and set it aside.
“What do you really want, Gabriel?”
“I want my son.”
Blair knocked the rack on the floor, completely ruining all her work. She ignored the mess and the expense as she stared at him, searching for an answer in his unfathomable stare. The words rocked her to the core of her being. Why, when she’d known it would come to this?
“You want Daniel? But you don’t even know him!” She glared at him, daring him to deny it. “He’s a little boy who’s only ever known this place as his home. What kind of a father would rip him away from the only family he knows?” She chewed him out with her eyes, letting him see the contempt in them.
Gabe stayed where he was, his eyes watchful, swirling and slumbering with hidden menace as they studied her. “I don’t want to take him away from you, Blair. I know how much you mean to him. I lost my own mother when I was young. I know what that’s like.”
She frowned. What did that mean, and why was he suddenly opening up now? He’d never given her much insight into his past when they were engaged.
