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His arm brushed against hers as he reached into the cab and lifted Cheyenne out of her seat. Hannah shook off the tingling sensation it created, reminding herself of the Girlfriend’s Golden Rule—never lust after or date your best friend’s ex. Hannah gasped. The unexpected thought sucked the breath from her lungs. Any tingle from Noah would be completely inappropriate. She couldn’t betray Lauren. She wouldn’t.
“You look nice, by the way.” Noah’s voice snapped her to attention.
His casual comments didn’t help matters. “Thank you.” Every minute she spent around Noah, she understood Lauren’s attraction to him more. Granted the man would be in her life forever because of the girls, but it didn’t mean it was a one-way pass to a relationship.
“Are children their age permitted to ride in the front seat of the truck?”
His question knocked her off-kilter. She didn’t appreciate the insinuation she was illegally toting the kids around. “I assure you it’s quite legal. If a pickup truck doesn’t have an extended cab, children can ride up front if they are in an appropriate car seat or safety harness.” Hannah had read the manuals. She knew the rules. She’d even had the police department install the seats. There was no doubt in her mind the children were safe. Her truck wasn’t ideal, but she couldn’t afford a more child-friendly vehicle right now.
“Whoa, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Noah hip-checked the truck door closed once the twins were out. “Although I can see why you would be. I’m sorry. I guess I’m being overly protective. I mean, that’s what I’m supposed to do, right? That’s a fatherly thing.”
Hannah tried not to laugh at his explanation. He really was new to this. “I’m the one who should apologize. You’re asking the right questions. I’d be worried if you weren’t. This is old hat to us Charlotte and Cheyenne veterans.” She tugged at the bottom of Charlotte’s dress where it had caught in her white stockings. Not that those would last more than an hour the way the kids played. “For the record, I haven’t told anyone who you are yet. I mentioned I was bringing someone to dinner and figured we could tell them together. But again I ask you, please be careful what you say in front of the twins.”
Noah leaned closer to Hannah so the girls wouldn’t overhear. “I’m their father. You do plan on allowing me to tell them sometime soon, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.” Hannah had the sinking feeling the next sixteen and a half years would be much harder than she’d imagined. He’d probably ask for a visitation schedule. She wasn’t ready for any overnight visits to his house and neither were the girls. “I’ve spent almost every day of their lives with them. I know what’s best. Trust me.”
Hannah introduced Noah to all sixteen members of her family—newly enlarged courtesy of her brother Clay’s marriage to Abby.
Once the girls were playing safely out of earshot, Hannah gathered her parents, brother and sister-in law together in the kitchen.
“I have something to tell you,” Hannah began. Her stomach clenched. “Noah isn’t just a friend of mine. He’s Charlotte and Cheyenne’s biological father.”
“Heaven help us.” Hannah’s mother reached for the counter to steady herself. “What does this mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything yet.” Hannah spoke before Noah had a chance to respond. “The girls don’t know and we need to take this day by day.”
Noah excused himself, and for a brief second, Hannah wondered if he was making a break for it. From the outside looking in, she could see how her clan could be a tad intimidating.
“Why didn’t you call me as soon as Noah made contact with you?” Clay demanded. “I need to run him through the system and make sure he’s legit. I assume you’re going to schedule a paternity test. Taking this man at his word isn’t smart or safe.”
Hannah reeled from her brother’s onslaught of questions and demands. It was the downside to having a private investigator in the family. “I’m quite certain he’ll want a paternity test. But I’m positive he’s the father. He was the only person Lauren had been with during that time. As for a background check, I’m fine with it. I don’t think he needs to know, though.”
“Where does he even live?” Clay asked. “And what are his intentions with the twins?”
“I don’t know.” Lauren and Noah hadn’t spent much of their night together talking. And Hannah hadn’t thought to ask during his visit yesterday afternoon. “He met Lauren in College Station and he learned of her death there, too, so I’m assuming he lives somewhere in that vicinity.” It wasn’t next door, but three and a half hours away would allow him to visit on weekends. Maybe after a while she’d even be willing to make up a guest room for him so he could spend more time with his daughters.
Clay rolled his eyes. “My naive little sister, things aren’t always as they appear on the surface. What’s his last name? I’ll have one of my associates begin working on it.”
Hannah hadn’t remembered him mentioning a last name. She groaned inwardly. “I have no idea. I took him at his word.” Maybe she had more of Lauren in her than she thought.
“I’ll handle it. Until we know more about him, you should limit his time with the twins and make sure someone else is there when he’s around.” Clay enveloped her in a hug.
“I know this is hard, kiddo.” Hannah’s father joined them. “We’ll help you through it any way we can. Clay’s right, though. Until we know more about him, you need to keep your distance. At the very least, have one of us there with you.”
They rejoined the rest of the family as Noah reappeared bearing a bouquet for her mother and a couple of bottles of wine for her father. Her parents appreciated the sweet gesture. Something Lauren used to say came to mind: “You can’t fake sincerity.” Hannah had always argued that fact, until yesterday. Noah seemed genuinely enamored with his daughters, which was what Lauren had always hoped for. She had always vowed to find him one day.
By the end of dinner, Clay had grilled Noah more than a steak on a barbecue. His last name was Knight...as in shining armor. Lauren would have howled at that. And his first name was William. But there had been so many Williams in his kindergarten class he’d asked the teacher to use his middle name instead. He went by Noah from then on. That explained why Clay hadn’t been able to locate a pilot named Noah when Lauren asked him to find the father of her unborn babies. His job as a helicopter-logging pilot sounded as cool as it did dangerous.
“Aren’t you concerned with deforestation?” Hannah’s father, Gage, asked.
“Heli-logging actually works in harmony with the environment. Instead of scarring the hillside by dragging the logs out or building new roads to transport them, I’m able to lift a telephone pole–sized log straight up.”
“So you’re not creating huge sections of missing trees?” Abby asked.
“No, we’re not clear-cutting,” Noah continued. “We’re also eliminating the soil erosion that can arise from traditional logging.” Noah reached across the table for the salt and pepper shakers and placed them in front of his plate. “Heli-logging thins the forest and opens it up by creating wide spaces between the trees.” He moved the shakers apart from one another to demonstrate. “You’re always hearing about forest fire devastation. A fire will whip through a thinned forest and rarely burn a tree because it remains on the ground. When a forest hasn’t been managed—” he moved the shakers closer together “—there are felled trees and overgrowth providing fuel that concentrates and intensifies the heat on the ground.” He placed his silverware and napkin around and between the shakers. “The fire doesn’t have a chance to flash through as it does in a managed forest. It’s never a matter of if there will be a forest fire, it’s when. Heli-logging helps control the burn before it begins. That’s just one aspect of the job.”
“I never knew any of that existed.” Fern offered him more sweet potatoes. “Your life definitely sounds interesting.”
Charlotte and Cheyenne had insisted on sitting next to him at the table and Hannah wondered if they instinctively knew he was their father.
What had surprised Hannah most was that he lived two thousand miles away in Oregon. She and the girls definitely wouldn’t be seeing him as much as she’d anticipated. That unsettled her. A weekly visitation schedule would be better for the girls. How could they bond with him if they were together only a few times a year?
“Noah,” her father said. “I don’t know what your plans are for the rest of the evening, but we have a tradition of cutting down a live Christmas tree and decorating it on Thanksgiving. We’d love to have you join us, since you’re the expert logger.”
Noah laughed. “I’d be honored, sir. But my team does most of the cutting on the ground. I’m more of a removal man. Hopefully you don’t choose a tree large enough for me to bring in one of my Chinook helicopters.”
Hannah hadn’t expected to enjoy decorating the tree when the men returned. She’d made up her mind earlier that she would duck out just after they left on their tree expedition. It was too painful without her best friend there. Her family’s high spirits kept the mood elevated even though everyone felt Lauren’s absence. The girls had fallen asleep shortly after they’d brought the boxes of decorations down from the attic. Thankfully, her mother had kept their cribs after Lauren left for Boston. They’d return to their old routine of staying with Nanny during the day once Hannah went back to work at the rodeo school. Her job had graciously given her time off while she settled the house and the girls’ routine.
“These were Lauren’s.” Her mother carefully unwrapped the tissue paper–covered ornaments. “I had promised to send them to her once she’d settled in. Now I will pass them directly on to her daughters.”
Noah sat on the couch beside her mother and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I’ll make sure they’re the first ornaments the girls hang every year, and I’ll even send you pictures.”
“Excuse me?” Hannah stared at Noah. “You make it sound as if Charlotte and Cheyenne will be with you.”
Noah looked around the room and stood. “Where else would they be? I’m their father.”
“And I’m their legal guardian.” Hannah took a step toward him. “Father or not, Lauren named me in her will, not you.”
“Only because she didn’t know where to find me,” Noah countered. “You even said she’d been looking for me.”
“She may have been looking for you, but she had no intention of handing her children over to you. You have no legal claim to them.”
“I will once I take a paternity test, which I’ve scheduled for tomorrow at Grace General Hospital.”
“You did what?” Hannah couldn’t believe what was happening. He honestly expected to take the girls away from her and her family? “Who do you think you are, coming into my home, my parents’ home, and announcing your plans to rip Charlotte and Cheyenne from the only family they’ve ever known?” Her pulse quickened and the room began to spin. He couldn’t take them. She refused to consent to it. She grabbed hold of her brother’s arm for support.
Clay stepped between them. “Noah, I think you should leave.”
“I don’t understand.” Noah held up his hands. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve seen your house and you’re clearly struggling financially. I don’t want my daughters to be a burden. Plus, we have a lot of time to make up for.”
“First of all, a social worker has already completed a home inspection and I’m well aware of what needs to be done to my house. And second, I may not make as much as you, but those children will never be a burden to me. We won’t be millionaires, but we will survive.”
“I don’t want my daughters to just survive. I want them to thrive and I can provide that for them.”
Hannah felt a shiver down to the bone. “A few hours ago you wondered if asking questions regarding their safety was the fatherly thing to do. You don’t have experience with these children. There’s no way in hell you’re getting those girls.”
“I understand your attachment to them.” Noah spoke with controlled firmness. “I would never cut you out of their lives. That wouldn’t be fair to them or you. But I am their biological father, and you can’t keep me from raising them. You’re more than welcome to visit anytime you’d like, but those girls are coming home with me.”
Clay grabbed Noah by the collar and ushered him to the door. “Until you have a court order saying otherwise, stay away from my sister and my family.” He pushed him through the door and slammed it shut behind him.
“Oh, my God.” Fern began to cry. “Does he have a chance of getting the girls?”
Clay glared down at his sister. “You need to prepare yourself for the fight of your life.” He gripped Hannah’s shoulders. “Maybe I can uncover something to use against him in court. Call Avery. You need an attorney to help you fight this. If a paternity test proves he’s their biological father, a judge can sever your claim to them, despite Lauren’s will.”
This must be a cruel joke. Charlotte and Cheyenne were a part of her as if they were her own flesh and blood. She’d already lost her best friend—she refused to lose the girls, too. She felt a steely grip squeeze her heart. Lauren. She never would have wanted this.
Chapter Three (#uc2b5188c-0400-5f59-bb35-0c3a75545c03)
“Thank you for seeing me so fast.” Hannah pulled her jacket tighter across her chest while she waited for Avery Griffin to unlock the front door of her law offices.
Avery gave Hannah one of the coffees she’d picked up on the way in and held the door open for her to enter. “I’m glad you called me, and don’t worry, I’ll take your case pro bono. I know this is difficult.” She adjusted the thermostat on the wall. “Have a seat.”
“I’m grateful for your help. I’m worried an attorney will cause Noah to move faster. You should have heard him yesterday.” Hannah sipped her coffee in an attempt to get warm. She didn’t know if she shook out of nervousness or if it was because the temperature had dropped twenty degrees overnight. “I can’t sit by and let him tear Charlotte and Cheyenne away from my family.”
“Don’t worry about upsetting Noah. I’m sure he assumes you have an attorney, since we had to handle the guardianship papers when Lauren died. And he may have already retained one, too. Let’s start with the facts.” Avery removed a legal pad from her top drawer and began to take notes. “Paternity hasn’t been established. Until it is, Noah can’t do anything. You have two choices. You can willingly submit the girls to be DNA tested, which would involve an inner mouth swab, or you can wait for a judge to issue a court order requiring testing. Personally, unless there is a valid reason to delay it, I strongly recommend complying with the request. If this case goes to court, it shows your willingness to cooperate.”
Hannah’s mouth went dry despite the coffee. “I didn’t have a problem with the paternity test until now. I knew Lauren better than anyone, and I—” Saying her name in the past tense made swallowing difficult. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry.”
Avery handed her a tissue and joined her on Hannah’s side of the desk. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“Lauren didn’t sleep around. She hadn’t been with anyone else for about a year before the twins were conceived.” Hannah began to shred the tissue. “Lauren had hoped to find Noah one day, but only because she thought her children deserved to know who their father was. Despite the connection she had felt with him that night, she wasn’t looking to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted him to have a chance to coparent the children with her. I’m asking for the same courtesy.”
“A judge is interested in the facts and the best interest of the children,” Avery said. “You have a strong case, but it’s not cut-and-dried. Before the wrong judge, his paternity might carry more weight. This type of case is best settled out of court. Both of you have too much to lose. I’d like to call Noah in for a meeting to see if we can work out some sort of mediation.”
“Do you need me to be there?” She was still too angry with him. Her family had opened their home to him and he’d thanked them by threatening to take the twins away.
Avery shook her head. “I don’t want Noah to think we’re ganging up on him. If it’s just the two of us, he might be more willing to discuss a visitation schedule.”
“Visitation meaning he visits the children in my home, not the other way around,” Hannah clarified. “He made a comment yesterday that led me to believe he is financially well-off.”
Avery reached for her iPad and flipped the cover open. “Your brother emailed me a very detailed report on Noah this morning. Financially he’s sound. His skill set earns him a higher than average income, but he’s a long way from being a millionaire. Noah’s also very clean. He served eight years in the air force, owns his own home, has zero police violations and is one of the world’s best heli-logger pilots. He conducts seminars in the United States and around the world.”
“Wouldn’t that give me the advantage?” It was the first ounce of hope she’d felt all morning. “How can he be there for his children if he’s traveling?”
“Don’t you travel across the country barrel racing?”
“Yes, but it’s different. My parents can watch the girls. I’m never gone for very long. Many times my mom comes with me, so bringing the girls along wouldn’t be a problem. He said during dinner yesterday that he only has his mom, and if he travels out of the country—” Hannah’s stomach flipped. “He can’t take the girls to another country, can he?”
“There’s no denying you have a great support system.” Avery patted Hannah’s forearm. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Are you open to some form of a temporary arrangement granting him visitation while we attempt to hash out a resolution?”
“As long as it remains civil.” Hannah sighed. “I think Noah is as scared as I am about losing the girls, but for different reasons. I’m more than willing to give this another chance, if he is.”
“Then let’s get to work.” Avery walked behind her desk. “I’ll try to arrange a meeting with Noah today.”
Hannah didn’t want to be unreasonable. Lauren had seen something in Noah and she owed it to her friend to give him a chance.
* * *
NOAH WASN’T OVERLY surprised when Hannah’s attorney phoned and asked to meet with him later that afternoon. He parked his rental car in front of the law offices. He needed to steady his nerves before he went inside. He was still reeling from yesterday. He preferred to get his excitement on the job, not around a family Christmas tree. Granted, he could have handled himself better, but they could have, too. Between the barrage of questions and the obvious assumption he would be a casual father to Charlotte and Cheyenne, he’d about reached his breaking point on the way back from their Christmas tree trek in the woods. Halfway there he began to wonder if the whole cutting down a tree on Thanksgiving story hadn’t been a ruse to separate him from Hannah and the twins so they could break him down.
He got it. Clay was defending Lauren’s honor after Noah had gotten her pregnant. But he’d also hoped to see her again. Although he’d never been a fan of the whole long-distance thing, maybe they could have found a way to make it work. And then he wouldn’t have missed out on the first twenty-one months of his children’s lives.
Avery Griffin greeted him at the door. Tall, curvy and blonde, she looked more like a ’50s Hollywood starlet than an attorney. She couldn’t have been much over thirty, if that.
“Are you up for a walk?” Avery asked. “I know it’s unconventional, but I’ve been cooped up in my office all day and I could use the exercise after eating too much yesterday.”
“Sure.” He began to relax as they cut down a side street toward Ramblewood Park. Noah would take wide-open spaces over a stifling office any day. “I have to admit, I expected a call, but I’m surprised you wanted to meet so soon.”
“Under normal circumstances, we would’ve waited until Monday. Since you live out of state and we don’t know your travel schedule, we didn’t want to risk missing you.”
Noah laughed. “I guess that’s a nice way of telling me you’re putting me on notice.”
“Quite the opposite.” Avery pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her pocket. “If this goes to court, everybody loses, especially Charlotte and Cheyenne. I’m going to explain to you how the process works so you’re as informed as Hannah.”
Noah stopped walking. “The process needs to start with a paternity test, which I’ve already scheduled.”
“Hannah doesn’t have a problem establishing paternity.” Avery faced him. “She had a problem with the way you went about it. It’s my understanding you didn’t ask her for a paternity test. Instead, you told her you had already scheduled one. Technically she doesn’t have to comply without a court order, since she is their legal guardian. But she wants this settled just as much as you do.”
Noah agreed he had been a bit overzealous and could have handled the testing better. Off in the distance he watched an aerial fire truck raise its platform to the top of a light post so the firefighters could hang a large white snowflake.
“Do you realize what I have missed?” Noah began walking again. He had the urge to run the park’s track a few times to burn off his frustration. “Hannah told me Lauren had walked out the following morning because she’d been embarrassed about our night together.” Noah clenched his fists. “Think about that. Lauren’s shame over having sex with me robbed me of the entire pregnancy experience. I never saw their first ultrasounds or heard their first heartbeats. I have no idea what either of my daughters’ first words were or when they took their first steps. If she had actually talked to me before she left, all of this could have been avoided. I’m their father and I’m not going to miss another moment. The paternity test is only a formality.”
Avery smiled. “Honestly, I wish I heard that from more men. I applaud you for taking the initiative, but there is a legal procedure you need to be aware of. Once we confirm paternity, I’ll contact a caseworker. A guardian ad litem will then be assigned to the girls.”
“Is that another lawyer?” Noah asked.
“A guardian ad litem is an advocate who ensures Charlotte and Cheyenne’s best interests are always protected. I strongly advise you and Hannah to come to some form of a resolution before either one of your hands is forced.”
Noah wouldn’t mind having the opportunity to apologize to Hannah and her family for his behavior. He didn’t want to create tension between them, he just wanted to be with his baby girls. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
Avery clasped her hands together. “I know the perfect place.”
* * *
HANNAH FINISHED LOADING Restless into the horse trailer before running inside to grab her purse. She gave Charlotte and Cheyenne a quick kiss goodbye in their car seats, then waved to them as her mother drove away. She had two hours before she needed to be at the Christmas Dash-4-Cash barrel race. She was never this nervous before a race, but after the week from hell, she’d barely had a chance to practice. Clay had loaned her his quad cab pickup, but she’d been too anxious to let the twins ride with her. Her family would meet her at the arena.
As she locked the front door, she heard the sound of tires crunching against gravel. She’d expected to see anyone except Noah.
She ran down the front steps in the direction of her horse trailer. “I have a show to get to, Noah. I can’t do this with you now.”
“I know you do,” he called out behind her. “I wanted to ride with you or...at least...follow you there.” His words trailed off in an unexpected shyness.
Regardless of what she decided, she figured she’d regret her decision fifteen minutes down the road. Maybe he’d distract her enough to calm her nerves. “Come on.” She motioned for him to join her. “FYI, though...the twins have already gone ahead with my mom.”
“That’s all right.” He ran to catch up with her. “It will give us a chance to talk.”
Hannah slid behind the wheel. “Can you behave?” she asked through the open passenger window. “This is a big race for me and, as you so graciously pointed out the other day, I need the money.”
