скачать книгу бесплатно
After watching them for a few minutes, he detected the twins’ subtle differences. One was slightly taller than the other. Their barely shoulder-length, rich mahogany-brown hair reminded him of Lauren’s. When the shorter of the two faced his direction, he noticed hers was a shade or two lighter. Her gaze met his and he knew. His heart began to race. The urge to run to her and scoop her into his arms caught him off guard. She had his eyes—electric blue. They were piercingly visible even from a distance and he’d bet any amount of money in the world they were rimmed in black. He should go to her—to them—but his body remained frozen. Perspiration trickled down his left temple.
Before he could muster the will to approach them, they climbed into the old pickup and left. Noah’s palms began to sweat against the steering wheel, which he’d been using for support. Panic set in. What if he never saw them again? Fear and anxiety gripped his heart. He may not be ready to be a father, but he couldn’t walk away. Not without making absolutely sure.
He started his rental car, preparing to follow them. As they drove onto Main Street, he almost lost them at a traffic light. Once it changed, he managed to catch up while maintaining a reasonable distance until they turned onto a dusty ranch road. Quickly jotting down where he was and how he got there, he reluctantly headed into town. He could have followed them home, but that seemed creepy. He didn’t want to scare them or cause Hannah to feel unsafe. Approaching them required some thought and definitely more finesse than he had at the moment.
If he planned to stay in Texas for more than one night, he needed to buy some clothes and toiletries. His original trip to Texas hadn’t involved staying longer than a day. Maybe he’d be able to learn more about Hannah and her connection to the kids before he made his next move. He’d start with calling the hospital about a paternity test. If he was right, he had some enormous decisions to make. That both terrified and excited him. None of his relationships had reached the kid-talk stage. He’d assumed he would have kids someday, but he had never given much thought as to when.
Noah took a deep breath. Most men had nine months to plan for this; he hadn’t even had twenty-four hours. It didn’t matter. He’d love them more than life itself. Noah smiled. He already did.
* * *
THE RAP AGAINST the screen door caught Hannah by surprise. Everyone she knew didn’t bother with formalities and always let themselves in.
“It’s open,” Hannah called from beside the living room hearth. She wanted to finish replacing the loose tiles before her mother dropped off the kids. The person knocked again.
What in the world? Hannah huffed.
She scraped off her trowel and loosely covered the tub of adhesive grout. Her parents had taken the twins over to their house to play, giving her a chance to make some repairs without them underfoot. Just when she completed one task, she’d notice another potential hazard. She’d even considered sending them to her parents’ house to stay for a week or two, but she didn’t want to confuse them even further. “I said it was open.”
Hannah rounded the corner to the front door, surprised to see a stranger in a pantsuit peering at her through the screen.
“Miss Hannah Tanner?” the woman asked.
Hannah hesitated. The woman looked official...too official. “May I help you?”
“Are you Hannah Tanner?” the woman asked a bit more sternly.
Hannah stiffened her spine and gripped the doorframe. “I am, and who might you be?”
“I’m Constance Malone from Luna County Social Services.” The woman’s face showed zero expression. “I’m sorry for the loss of your friend Lauren Elgrove. Normally I would have called first, but I was unable to find a number for you. I’m here to follow up on the placement of Charlotte and Cheyenne Elgrove. May I come in?”
“I don’t have a house phone, just a cell.” Hannah opened the screen door, allowing her to enter. “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t expecting you. I gave all my information to Social Services in Boston. I didn’t realize there was anything more for me to do.”
Constance glanced around the foyer toward the living room, and then in the opposite direction at the dining area, which had become a construction catchall over the past few days.
“Please pardon the mess.” Hannah wrung her hands. “We’re in the middle of making some improvements on the house.”
“We?” Constance removed a pen and notebook from her oversized tote and began writing.
“My family and I.” Hannah didn’t appreciate being on the defensive in her own home. “I am trying to baby-proof the house. The girls’ arrival was quite unexpected.”
“Where are the children? I would like to meet them.”
“They’re visiting with my parents for a few hours while I work on the house.” Hannah pulled her phone from her pocket. “I can call and have my mom bring them back.”
“I can meet them another time.” Constance stepped farther into the living room. “I understand they have lived with you before. Do you mind if I have a look around? I’m required to perform a home evaluation.”
Oh, crap! “Um, sure. I wasn’t exactly prepared for your visit.”
“I understand this is rather sudden. Everyone involved needs time to adjust. That’s why I’m here—to aid in the girls’ adjustment.” Constance examined the thermostat. “Do you always keep it this cold in here?” She jotted down something on her notepad.
Hannah tugged the bandanna from the top of her head in a vain attempt to look more presentable. “I lowered it because my brother sanded the banister earlier and I wanted to air the residual dust out of the house before I damp mopped the floors. That’s also why the front door was open.” She ran her hand down the front of her paint-stained T-shirt.
She followed closely behind Constance for almost an hour as the woman took numerous notes. Hannah’s jaw began to ache from clenching it so tightly. After a mini interrogation about her lifestyle and finances, the social worker handed her a mile-long list of items that needed to be resolved before next week’s inspection.
“What happens if I can’t get these completed by then?” Hannah asked. They’d been mired in long-term renovations even before they realized they’d need to baby-proof.
“Miss Tanner, we understand this is a very difficult time for you and the children.” Constance removed her glasses. “It’s not my intention to appear hardhearted, but your home isn’t exactly a child-friendly environment. I know you were in the middle of renovations when the twins arrived, but it’s my job to put their safety first. I sympathize with you, but I’m afraid if the repairs aren’t made, I’ll be forced to remove the children and place them in temporary foster care until your home is ready. And I’m emphasizing temporary. It wouldn’t be forever. Just until you are better equipped to manage them.”
“Foster care?” Hannah tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m their legal guardian. Our attorneys drew up the documents when Lauren created her will before the twins were born.”
“Hopefully it won’t come to that.” Constance gathered the paperwork she’d spread across the kitchen table. “Since you already have a couple of completed rooms and what appears to be a strong support system, I feel comfortable leaving them here with you, for now. But I urge you to complete that list. I will work with you in whatever way I can. It’s clear to me you’re making a valiant effort. Please be sure the children are available next week. I will be out to see you next Friday.”
Hannah followed Constance to the door. Even with her family’s help, it would be impossible to finish everything. “What if I move into my parents’ house with the girls until the repairs are completed? Will that give me more time?”
Constance shook her head. “I’m allowing an additional two days because of Thanksgiving. I probably won’t have a chance to perform another home evaluation before next Friday at a residence you may or may not be living in. You have nine days.” Constance reached into her tote and removed her notepad once again. “Give me your parents’ address and I’ll try my best to visit them before the end of next week. No guarantees, though. So please complete that list. I try to do everything I can to prevent placing a child—let alone two—in temporary foster care before a weekend, because it ties everyone’s hands until the following Monday. Thank you for your time today.” She gave Hannah’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I have faith you can do this, Miss Tanner.”
Hannah’s world tilted on its axis. She closed the front door behind Constance and scrambled into the kitchen, pushing the containers of food aside on the counter in an attempt to find her phone. Help! She needed it and fast. She refused to let Lauren down. Hell would freeze over before anyone took those children away from her, even temporarily.
Chapter Two (#uc2b5188c-0400-5f59-bb35-0c3a75545c03)
Noah had spent the majority of his afternoon getting to know Ramblewood while attempting to plan his next move. The town wasn’t much different from his hometown of Aurora, Oregon. It was quaint and tidy. The kind of small town where everyone knew everyone else and children grew up, married and had children of their own. He still hadn’t decided what he would do if Cheyenne and Charlotte were his children. Take them back to Aurora and raise them? Or allow them to stay in Ramblewood with Hannah, if she was their guardian? He didn’t know for certain.
Being a helicopter-logging pilot made him a very methodical man, so he began with what he already knew. He steadied his nerves and drove to the ranch turnoff Hannah had taken that morning. As he approached the entrance, he stepped on the accelerator, speeding past it. Why was he so nervous? If he was correct, he had a legal right to his children. At least he thought he did.
He checked the rearview mirror and slowed down to make a U-turn so he could head back toward Hannah’s...if she even lived down that road. She could have been visiting someone. It could lead to another road, too.
As soon as he drove off the blacktop, clouds of dust engulfed the car. Within seconds, he spotted her truck in the front yard. Relief eased the tension from his neck and shoulders only to be replaced with a bout of nerves bigger than the state of Texas. He pulled in behind the pickup, stepped from the car and looked up at the two-story white clapboard farmhouse.
Noah assumed the home had been beautiful in its day. Now large sheets of paint were peeling from the siding as if trying to escape. The bare wood rail running the entire length of the expansive front porch along with the recently stripped and sanded floorboards told him it was a work in progress. Despite the repair, the house needed serious help.
The front screen door swung wide and Hannah appeared. Her coppery waves were twisted into a casual bun. Paint had splattered her faded jeans and gray T-shirt. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so.” Noah jammed his hands in his pockets.
Hannah walked to the top of the stairs, shielding the sun from her eyes. “Oh, my God. It’s you.”
Noah didn’t know if he should be thankful or scared that she recognized him. He opened his mouth to respond when two tiny faces appeared in the front door. Leaning to the right, he attempted to look past Hannah. She quickly glanced over her shoulder and shooed the girls inside.
“I thought you two were asleep on the sunporch.” The screen door bounced against the door frame behind her. “I need to talk to this man for a minute and it’s your naptime. You had a busy morning at Nanny’s. When you wake up, we’ll play.” Hannah disappeared, leaving Noah to wonder who Nanny was. It was his understanding he was the twins’ only living relative.
Hannah reappeared a few minutes later. “I didn’t want them to hear our conversation. They should sleep for a good hour or two.” She eased the door open cautiously. “How did you find us?”
“I was in College Station and saw Lauren’s obituary.” Noah stood at the bottom of the porch stairs, gazing up at her. “I’m truly sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” She nibbled nervously on her bottom lip. “She tried to find you.”
“I think that answers my next question.” Noah swallowed hard. He gripped the car keys so tight they dug into his palm. “Am I their—”
Hannah stepped outside but remained within listening distance of the doorway. “Yes, you are.”
And there it was. The answer had come much easier and faster than he’d imagined and he didn’t know what to do with the information.
“I’m their father.” The full impact of the words hit him once he said them aloud. He thought his legs would give out. He turned and sat on the steps, attempting to maintain steady breaths.
Hannah sat down beside him. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling, but the girls have been through a lot. I will answer any questions you have, but I’m begging you, don’t push this issue with them right now. Give them a chance to get to know you before announcing who you are.”
Noah shifted on the stairs to face her. “Can I see them?”
Hannah nodded. Her eyes were glassy, but she didn’t shed a tear. “Lauren would have loved to have seen this day.” She rose and motioned for him to follow her inside. “I’m sure this is a surprise, but if it’s any consolation, she did try to find you.”
“I wish she hadn’t run out on me the way she did. I would have liked to have gotten to know her better.” As set as he was in bachelor life, there had been something special about Lauren. He’d been disappointed she hadn’t left behind a phone number. And he’d searched the room, too, probably harder than he should have after such a brief encounter. At first, he thought a scrap of paper could have fallen off the dresser or the table, then possibly behind the bed. He’d searched until checkout time, and then he had no choice but to leave Lauren and their night together behind.
“She was embarrassed.” Her hand lightly rested on his forearm. “Instantly falling in bed with someone wasn’t Lauren’s style. She was the ‘sweet tea on the front porch, date a few times before a first kiss’ kind of girl. Then you happened. Her life was just beginning and she didn’t want anything serious. She regretted her decision.”
Noah appreciated Hannah’s honesty. Inside the house, he followed her through rooms in various stages of disrepair. “Pardon the mess. I’m in the middle of renovating.”
He appreciated a work in progress, but practically every area was under construction. And he wasn’t sure how that made him feel. Were his daughters safe here? The baby gates gave him some sense of security, but this uneasiness was unfamiliar to him. When they reached the sunroom on the back of the house, Hannah blocked his way forward.
“I’m sure you’re anxious to get to know them, but I’m serious when I say I don’t want them to know who you are yet.” She kept her voice low. “They’re still looking for Lauren. They know she’s gone, but they also know she’s in town and keep asking to see her at the cemetery. I’ve tried to explain it to them. So has my mom and Abby—she’s my sister-in-law. The social worker in Boston explained it will take a while for them to adjust.”
Noah adored the way Hannah protected his children. His children. That was going to take some getting used to.
Hannah stared up at him, as if trying to read his mind. He was all too aware of their physical closeness. At six foot three, he stood a solid eight inches taller, if not slightly more. Her crystal-blue eyes were the clearest he’d ever seen of any eye color.
She was pretty, even with messy hair and paint-splattered clothes.
She inhaled deeply, sadness replacing her curious expression. She climbed over the baby gate into the large sunroom. It was spotless, freshly painted sunny yellow. Crisp white curtains framed the windows that overlooked a long row of horse stables and a riding area. There were four horses in one corral and two miniatures in another. In the distance, he saw more horses and dark soil-covered fields. He hadn’t realized her property was this extensive. It was deceiving from the front.
Noah zeroed in on the two sleeping figures curled up together on the white, slip-covered sofa at the far end of the room. He hadn’t anticipated that it would physically hurt to see them. There were two little lives less than fifteen feet away that he had helped create. Hannah reached out to wake them.
“Don’t.” His whisper cracked in the silence. “Let them sleep. I need to process this.”
“There’s a lot of that going around.” A bittersweet smile graced her lips. “Would you like to sit down?” She gestured to a pair of oversized beanbag chairs on the carpeted floor. “This is their playroom.”
Noah sank into a chair, letting it envelop him. He chuckled, unable to remember when he’d last sat in something so ridiculously comfortable and fun. They remained silent for a few minutes, watching the twins sleep. His nerves began to fade as the girls’ rhythmic breathing relaxed him. He may have known Lauren for only one night, but her face had been ingrained in his memory. Where the girls had his eyes, they had her dark hair and rounded nose. All children were beautiful, but Noah felt as if his were extra special.
“I know they look identical, but they’re fraternal twins,” Hannah said. “Cheyenne is an inch taller than Charlotte. And Charlotte has a tiny birthmark under her left eye.”
One of the girls stirred and sat upright before he had a chance to ask any of the millions of questions swirling through his brain. As Hannah rose, the little girl climbed off the sofa and toddled to them. “Charlotte, this is a friend of your mommy’s. His name is Noah and he came to meet you.”
Charlotte’s sleepy eyes blinked at him, still waking up from her nap. He had been right. Their irises were rimmed in black, the same as his were. “Go see Mommy?”
Hannah sucked her lips inward and looked toward the ceiling before answering. “Maybe tomorrow. You’ve already been twice today.”
Charlotte reached for Noah’s outstretched leg and pulled herself onto his lap. He held his breath. This little person was his child. His child was touching him. He stared down at her. She had little bits and pieces of him floating around inside her. It was a miracle—she was a miracle. And he couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“It’s okay to breathe, you know.” Hannah smiled warmly at the two of them.
He wanted to hug her for welcoming him into her home and allowing him to be there. He wanted to hug his daughter, but he didn’t know what was appropriate and what wasn’t. It felt surreal and natural at the same time.
“So this is what twenty-one months feels like.” Charlotte played with the silver cross around his neck. “They’re smaller than I th—” Noah shook his head. “I don’t know how big I thought they would be. I’m still overwhelmed by this. I can’t even begin to imagine what they were like when they were born. I don’t even know when that was.”
“Valentine’s Day. Which couldn’t have been more appropriate considering Lauren called them the greatest loves of her life.” A faraway look overshadowed Hannah’s smile. “They were good-sized babies for twins. I was in the delivery room when they were born. Charlotte was 7 lbs. 2 oz. and Cheyenne was 7 lbs. 6 oz. Between my parents and me, we have a ton of pictures.” She began to speak, then cut herself short. Tears filled her eyes. “Um, my mom and I weren’t able to take much from her house in Boston when we picked up the girls the other day. The company she worked for has someone packing her belongings and sending them to me. When they arrive, I’d be happy to share them with you. I think it’s important the children keep her memory alive, although at this age, how much can they possibly remember? Excuse me.”
Hannah stood and climbed over the baby gate, disappearing down the hall. Tiny fingers touched the side of his face, rubbing the rough stubble. She giggled loudly, waking Cheyenne on the other side of the room. When Hannah reappeared, two pint-size angels were playfully attacking him with their stuffed animals.
“I apologize.” She rejoined them in the sunroom. “Lauren’s dea—Her not being around any longer still doesn’t seem real.”
“Neither does this.” Noah smiled down at his daughters happily playing on his chest. “Did you and Lauren grow up together?”
“Play gently, Cheyenne,” Hannah said to the bouncing toddler. “We met in college and became best friends. Lauren didn’t have any family, so she came home with me on weekends, holidays and summer break. My parents thought of her as one of their own, so even though I was only a part of her life for six and a half years, she felt like a sister.” She scooted closer to the girls on the floor. “The twins strengthened the bond with my family even further. They call my parents Nanny and Grandpop.”
Now Noah understood who Nanny was. “When did Lauren move to Boston?”
“September.” Hannah stared into the distance. “Her leaving was hard...for all of us. My mom watched the girls during the day while Lauren went to work. Let me tell you—” she smiled, visibly fighting back tears “—my mom loved every second of it. These two have her—heck, all of us—wrapped around their fingers. But then it happened.” She sighed as the joy she’d expressed only a moment before slid from her face. “A pharmaceutical company in Boston offered Lauren a research scientist position. She was a biochemist—I don’t know if you knew that or not. Anyway, the job had incredible medical benefits, plus on-site day care and a relocation allowance. She would have been foolish to turn it down. Their new life had so much promise and it was hard to do anything other than wish them well.”
“How did it—” Noah didn’t want to say the words in front of the girls.
“How did it happen?” Hannah’s brows rose. “She hit a patch of ice on the way home from work. It was no one’s fault. Just a cruel twist of fate.”
Noah felt the need to comfort her in some way but didn’t know how. I’m sorry didn’t seem like enough.
“In case you don’t have plans for tomorrow...” Hannah hesitated. “You’re welcome to join us for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. It’s loud and crowded, but it’s a lot of fun and there will be many people sharing stories about Lauren.”
Thanksgiving had always been him, a couple of the guys and football. He’d been raised by an incredible single mom. She spent her holidays serving food to the homeless in a Portland soup kitchen but had always found time to make a special Thanksgiving breakfast for just the two of them. She never included whomever she was dating at the time. Not that any of them had paid him much attention anyway. And he never knew his dad or his dad’s side of the family. It was their special tradition and this was the first year he’d miss it. “I’d love to. Thank you.”
He looked down at his daughters. Hovering multimillion-dollar helicopters above the tree line with two-hundred-foot logs swinging from a cable beneath him had always given him an adrenaline rush, but it was nothing compared to this.
* * *
HANNAH WAS NERVOUS Thanksgiving morning, which was ridiculous because she had no business being nervous about sitting down to a family dinner with the father of her best friend’s children. While she had to admit he was attractive—if you were into the tall, sandy-blond, mouthwatering Chris Hemsworth type—she didn’t have time to fawn over him. Or any man, for that matter. The clock was counting down to her next home inspection.
Hannah closed the door on the grain room in the stables. After feeding and turning out her own four horses and the thirteen boarders, she still had to muck the stalls and collect the eggs from the henhouse.
While everyone else slept off their food coma tonight, she’d be working on her house. And she still needed to find time to exercise her horse Restless for their barrel racing competition on Saturday. The prize money would about cover the cost of the raw materials necessary to pass inspection.
Ironically, the house probably would have passed a couple of months ago. It had needed some serious TLC, but she hadn’t begun pulling everything apart until after Lauren left. She’d had the luxury of time on her side, or so she’d thought. She had started one project after another before completing any of them. Truth be told, she had felt a bit unsettled without Lauren and the girls around. Her concentration outside of the rodeo arena had been next to zero and having a multitude of unfinished home repairs hadn’t mattered as much as they did now. She knew she’d eventually get to them. Now she didn’t have a choice.
Her brother had been able to round up some friends willing to help her meet the social worker’s deadline. She’d have to figure out a way to repay them afterward. Generosity was one thing, but she refused to take advantage of everyone’s kindness.
For a small ranch, chores took up the majority of the day. By the time she finished, she had just enough time for a quick shower before leaving for her parents’ house. She climbed the back stairs and hesitated at the door. For a split second, she swore she saw Lauren through the window, sitting at the kitchen table feeding the girls. Her chest ached when she realized it was only Abby.
Her sister-in-law had stopped over early to help her get the girls dressed and ready the same way Hannah had helped Lauren with the girls for the first nineteen months of their lives. It had been easier then. They’d rented an apartment in the center of town after college until Hannah purchased the small ranch in April. Lauren and the girls had moved in until they’d headed to Massachusetts two months ago. She wondered how Lauren had managed in Boston by herself. She had never complained, saying each day was a blessing. She had seen the beauty and grace in the simplest of things, whereas Hannah had always questioned everything.
Thanksgiving was a casual affair at the Tanner household. She threw on a pair of jeans, an ivory draped top and her favorite pair of Old Gringo boots, which Lauren had given her last Christmas. She quickly applied a little mascara and a slick of gloss over her lips on the way out the door.
She’d given Noah the address of her parents’ ranch. Back in their heyday, her parents had been sheep wool farmers. She asked him to meet them there around noon, and as she unfastened the twins’ car seat buckles, he drove toward her along the main ranch road. “Let me help you,” Noah said as he stepped from his car.
