Conquered And Seduced

It took her breath and demanded even more. It was hot and hungry, possessing, devouring.

Severina’s knees weakened and Lucan pushed her into the wall with the hard pressure of his body. The rough stones dug into her backside, but she welcomed the brutal sensation.

She was alive, gloriously alive, wanting this man, needing him, aware of his answering desire as his lips left her neck and burned down her throat. Aware that his lower body ground hard against her skirts, pulsing against her aching core, soothing and arousing at once. She wanted to part her legs and let him slip into place between them. She wanted more, and she wanted it harder, faster, hotter.

Lucan groaned as he pulled away. ‘Not here. Not now. Not like this.’

He steadied her with one hand as his supporting weight was withdrawn, leaving her limp and miserable against the cold wall, her knees trembling, her loins moist and suffused with fire.

Lucan ran an agitated hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.’ His eyes seemed abnormally dark, a deep green forest burning with gold fire, the pupils wide.

Long moments passed. Severina fought for control.

‘Don’t apologise,’ she said finally. ‘It wasn’t your fault. I wanted it, too, and that’s what frightens me.’

‘It frightens you?’ He made a sound of exasperation. ‘Forgive me, but you hardly seemed frightened just now.’

‘Maybe it’s myself I’m afraid of. Or maybe it’s the way you make me feel. So hungry, so out of control. And it’s always been that way with you, never with anybody else. Just you, because…because I want to yield to you.’

‘Then do it.’

‘I can’t. It tears me inside to think of submitting to a man, any man, even you.’ Severina brushed tears away with the heel of her hand. ‘But then there’s this…this passion between us. I’ve denied it, fought it, hated and loved it…and still it’s there. And it will be there if we marry.’

‘And that would be a bad thing?’

‘I don’t want to lose myself to you.’

His expression grew immediately wary. She could only guess at his thoughts.

He looked away, his jaw working in agitation. ‘I won’t hurt you,’ he said after a long moment of silence. ‘I’ll take nothing from you but what you willingly give me.’

‘But there’s the problem, don’t you see? I’d willingly give you everything. Then you’d control me, Lucan. You’d own me.’

Lucan exhaled deeply. ‘Fear. Always fear. And you’ll never tell me why, damn it. And in the meantime, you’re missing so much. We’re missing so much.’

‘I’m sorry, Lucan. I don’t mean to hurt you.’

‘You say I would own you,’ he went on, ‘but that’s not true. No person can ever truly own another. But bodies and minds and hearts…they can be shared, Severina, and there is joy in that. Not pain, as you fear.’

His face softened, becoming more gentle and sad. He lifted a hand to her face and stroked warm fingertips down the smooth line of her jaw. ‘Don’t fear my possession, for you would own me, too. We would take from one another. We would give to one another. Marriage would make us better and stronger, never less. Only more. Trust me.’

She closed her eyes against such sweet seduction.

‘Who was the man who hurt you before?’ he growled. ‘I would willingly sheath my dagger in his heart for you. But, Severina…know that I am not he. All men are not the same. Whatever pain you experienced in the past, whatever this hurt that makes you fear and cleave to your freedom…I swear you’ll never know it again. To my dying day I’ll protect and cherish you. Do you believe me?’

His gaze captured hers and she saw how sincerely he meant the words. ‘Yes,’ she answered truthfully. ‘I do believe you.’

But she still couldn’t find enough faith to yield.

Neither could she explain. There was still much she didn’t understand and until she did, she’d have to endure the deep hurt in Lucan’s eyes.

Unless she moved on.

The thought had come before, but she’d avoided it. She couldn’t avoid it now. It probably was time to pull up stakes and leave Rome, taking on a new identity in some other place.

Maybe she’d grown too complacent. Maybe in grasping for happiness, she’d exposed both herself and Lucan to danger.

Leaving would be the most drastic solution to the questions she couldn’t yet answer, and it had disadvantages. She’d leave behind people and dreams she valued. She’d hurt Lucan—again.

But leaving had even more advantages. She’d leave behind her confusion. She’d never have to decide whether to divorce Lucan or yield to her desire for him, and she’d protect both of them from the secrets of her past.

It was time to leave.

Her eyes filled with tears at the thought. She blinked them away quickly, before Lucan could see.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, brushing a warm kiss across her knuckles. ‘We’ll discuss this later. Now we must go. Apollodorus will be waiting.’

Apollodorus had sent word to Lucan that he’d be at the work site of the new forum being constructed for Emperor Trajan. Lucan was glad it wasn’t far from where he and Severina had just enjoyed one of the most arousing sexual episodes of his life. Her passion amazed him, even though he’d done nothing more than kiss her.

Doubtless he’d regret not doing more while lying alone in his cold bed later. She’d almost been willing, and he’d probably been a fool to turn away from that. But like any lucky madman who gambled for high stakes, he’d gathered his hopes into one huge pile and staked everything on the still-undetermined roll of the dice.

Maybe he could have had one long afternoon of magnificent pleasure with Severina, but he’d rather have her pledge her life to him for ever.

Yet she had admitted that she desired him, and that made him feel like a king. At least passion hadn’t died. It had always been strong between them, burning white-hot from almost the first moment he’d laid eyes on her outside the granary of Donatus’s farm. He’d been faithfully serving the Christ at the time, but he’d still been carnal man enough to notice Severina’s well-shaped feminine attributes. He’d decided on the spot that this woman would be different from the rest. The statuesque beauty with flame in her hair and eyes of cool grey would someday become his lover and his wife.

Such noble intentions hadn’t always eased the lust they’d felt, but his sincere commitment to his faith, and Severina’s sincere commitment to helping him honour that, had somehow kept them from free-falling into uncontrollable desire.

Today they’d both known the barrier of his faith was gone.

Anything might happen between them now, and Lucan couldn’t fault either of them for wanting to assuage the hunger that had gnawed their bones for long months now.

But truthfully, he had to claim most of the guilt for this current episode of it. That wonderful seduction in the popina had been one of his finest moments, and he’d enjoyed every tender nuance of it. Severina had almost combusted on the spot. But she wasn’t the only one feeling that sweet, familiar tension. His manly parts had throbbed the entire time.

Delicious. And he wasn’t thinking of the food.

Now his passion had cooled. Colder reason had taken its place. He was gradually putting together all the pieces of Severina’s complicated puzzle, piece by delicate piece, and beginning to touch the sensitive place of her core fears.

She didn’t want to lose control. She was desperate to retain her independence. She feared losing herself, even to something as wonderful as desire.

But the most worrisome part, the elusive piece he did not yet have, was why. As badly as he wanted her body, he wanted one other thing more—her trust. Only when she shared her past with him would he feel like he’d won her. And that, he now realised, would take more time and patience.

He was, however, no novice in the art of siege warfare. He meant to discover those secrets, and he meant to wed her. The only thing that bothered him, as he led her up the long street towards the building site on the hill of the Quirinal, was the issue of time.

Whether she married him or whether she didn’t, the censor’s hearing was all that kept them together. That hearing would be held in three weeks, and Lucan wasn’t sure three weeks would be long enough.

But he’d gone into battle with worse odds before.

Lucan was being too quiet. It worried Severina that he’d been so talkative before, but was withdrawn now. She shouldn’t have told him how she wanted him. Their relationship was confused enough already without throwing passion into the mixture.

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