Научный «туризм»

How we are treated by acquaintance

Once some old schoolmates, a surgeon among them, had a good time with a bottle of vodka. In their conversation they touched on the topic of disease and somebody complained that his toe-nail had grown in. It troubled him and he did not know what to do. “Well, it is a trifle”, said a surgeon. “Come over to my clinic tomorrow and all will be done in 5 minutes without any problem”.

The next day our patient came to clinic. The surgeon met him with his colleagues, as usually there appeared a bottle the schoolmate of surgeon took with him. They drank to acquaintance, laughing at the nail trouble. Then another bottle with cognac appeared that had been given to doctor by thankful patients. Then they continued with diluted ethanol (named an awl) which surgeons had in abundance. At last they went over to operation. The client was laid on the operation table and for same reason or other they made him an general anestesia. Perhaps they gave him too much ether or the heart of patient was too weak but soon it start to mulfunction and then stopped at all. Doctors began the massage of the heart at first on closed chest then on opened. Nothing helped. The patient was quickly loaded onto cart and rushed to intensive care department. At the turning the cart was overturn, the patient dropped out and got twisted fracture of his thigh.

In general, next day our patient woke up in hospital room absolutely not understanding what happened to him, with his chest bandaged and with his leg put in a plaster cast and lifted up to the ceiling on which was stuck up a toe with toe-nail grown in it.

Примечания

1

Тезисы эти, как оказалось, написал Парвус – у Ленина мозгов не хватило.

2

Добро пожаловать (казах.).

3

Тетродотоксин – яд Spheroides rubripes (фугу, рыба-собака) – ингибитор Na+ каналов в возбудимых тканях.

4

Диамат – диалектический материализм, истмат – исторический.

5

1 молдаван, местн. – молдаванин, лицо молдавской национальности

6

Избили, как хозяин свинью.

7

Кстати, советую попробовать буковинское рагу – красные перцы, поджаренные с луком и помидорами – чудная вещь!

8

Цит. из:Есенина, … Кнышева

9

или то, что подразумевается сейчас под евреями – мне кажется, что от настоящих иудеев уже давно не осталось и следа

10

кстати, древние евреи вовсе не являются авторами Библии – они ее «содрали» у египтян, а те у шумеров