Single Mama Drama

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Slowly, Bonnie rose. “You’re sure? You don’t need the time off to…”

“To what?”

“Well, to grieve, dear,” she replied. Her expression softened, becoming motherly and, oddly, I found myself missing my own mother.

How much different would it be right now if I had my mom around to comfort and coddle me? To hold me against her chest as she’d done when I was a child, and gently stroke my hair? In my mother’s arms, I could cry freely, without shame, without fear of being judged. I would have someone to hold me up, keep me from falling apart. I had supportive friends, but their comfort would never equal that of my mother’s.

My parents had died when I wasn’t yet a teenager, and I’d missed their presence hugely. I’d gone on, as I’d had to do, but I’d never quite been the same. My mother’s only sister, Lola, had become a surrogate mother, for which I was grateful, but there was still a big void in my world. A person wants her parents around for the key moments in her life. Like when I graduated from high school. My aunt had been there, and she’d assured me that my parents would have been very proud that I’d graduated with honors. But by the time I gave birth to Rayna, my aunt, who’d been single until her forties, was living in Hawaii with her new husband. My sister had been at the hospital with me, of course, but I’d still wept uncontrollably when the doctor handed me my little baby, knowing my parents had missed that monumental moment in my life.

Then I’d consoled myself with the thought that they were in heaven, watching and beaming with pride at the sight of their first granddaughter.

I needed to believe that.

“Oh, look at you.” Bonnie tsked. “I can see the sadness in your eyes, dear. I do believe you could use a hug. Do you mind if I give you one?”

It was a strange offer, but one that I welcomed.

She opened her arms in invitation, and I walked into her embrace. She gave me a warm, earnest hug, and I closed my eyes, imagining that my mother was channeling her energy through this woman to me.

After a few moments, we pulled apart. I looked at Bonnie and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to go home?” she asked, genuine concern for me evident in her eyes. “I came to work. I’m more than happy to stay.”

“I’m better off here,” I told her. “Thank you so much for coming in, though. And for the hug. It helped. Whenever we need another temp, I’ll be sure to call and ask for you.”

Bonnie Bluegrass nodded, got her things together and quietly left my office.

If I ever needed a nanny, I’d track the woman down. I had a feeling that Bonnie would be fantastic in that role.

With her gone, I settled in behind my desk. I did a quick scan to see if anything was out of place. I should have known that Debbie would hire a temp in my absence, but I hated anyone but me being at my desk. I was proprietary that way.

But everything was in order. Not even a pen in the wrong spot. And something good had come of me running into Bonnie. She had unexpectedly helped boost my spirits.

I went to the office kitchen to pour myself a third cup of coffee. A few of the office staff passed me, and they all gazed at me in astonishment, as though I had been the one to die yesterday, and they were seeing a ghost.

Trisha gaped at me as I passed Debbie’s office, but mumbled a hello. Debbie’s office door was closed, which meant she either wasn’t in or was on an important call. With Eli getting himself killed, I hadn’t even asked her the details about signing Lori Hansen. Lori was a fitness guru turned motivational speaker who had the utmost credibility when it came to inspiring people to lose weight and be their personal best. She had once weighed close to three hundred pounds and now was a lean and muscular one hundred and thirty. People were paying big bucks to hear her words of wisdom.

When I returned to my office, I closed the door because I wanted privacy. Then I sat down at my desk and opened a file on the computer that I hadn’t touched the day before. It was a spreadsheet of last month’s out-of-pocket expenses for the agency’s four agents, which I would verify before cutting checks to reimburse everyone.

My phone rang, and I snatched up the receiver. “Vanessa C—”

“Hello, Ms. Cain. This is Riley Baltimore with the Sun-Sentinel. Can you tell me—”

Click. I hung up before he could finish his spiel, then set my phone to go directly to voice mail.

Oh, hell. Remembering something else I hadn’t gotten to the day before, I quickly opened another file, a schedule of the events and seminars the clients were either booked for or considering. The University of Houston wanted to book Manisha Talbot for a one-day conference on women in business. It was my job to make sure I confirmed all the details of the event.

I lifted my phone to call the contact at the university, but didn’t get to punch in the number because my door burst open.

It was Alaina.

“Alaina—”

“I had to come talk to you,” she said. She closed the door behind her. “I have been fielding calls from the media all morning. Girl, it’s like you’re some megastar.”

“You’re serious?”

“Oh yeah.”

“How many calls?”

“CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX News—all the major networks. Some station from Atlanta. Not to mention all the local papers. And a reporter from USA Today.”

I gaped at Alaina as I settled back in my leather chair. “This is insane.”

“Tell me about it. Have you seen the Miami Herald yet?”

“No.”

“You should. There’s a picture of you and Eli at some—”

“Fund-raiser we attended to benefit Jackson Memorial Hospital,” I finished for her. Damn that Cynthia Martin.

“I thought you didn’t see it.”

“I didn’t. And I don’t want to. But that was the one time Eli and I posed for a picture when we went out publicly as a couple. He was very private when it came to the press.”

The pause that followed was ripe with all that was left unsaid. I stared at Alaina, who was pressing her lips together as though making a valiant effort not to speak.

I didn’t want to know, but I also didn’t want to not know. I finally asked, “What is it that you’re dying to tell me?”

She approached my desk. “Now, I don’t know what this means, and you and I know that the media gets things wrong all the time—”

“Just tell me.”

“The paper said there’s been a new twist to the story. That you were Eli’s mistress because—”

“Mistress?”

Alaina nodded, her expression grave. “Some lawyer in Atlanta said that Eli’s wife is going to give a statement later today.”

“Ex-wife.” I laughed without mirth. “What is this bullshit? My God, what these papers won’t do to sell a few copies. Understatement of the century.”

Once again, Alaina pressed her lips together.

“What?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know.

“It’s just that…well, the paper didn’t say ex. What if Eli never got divorced?”

“Of course he was divorced,” I replied. “He was engaged to me, remember?” I wiggled my finger, flashing the engagement ring I hadn’t taken off. “Why the hell would he propose and buy a place with me if he was still married? You said yourself that the media gets information wrong all the time. I already went through this with my sister last night. And I did check that he was really divorced, okay? On the Internet. It happened back in 2002.”

Alaina nodded, but didn’t seem convinced.

“Eli said it was a really nasty split, and that he didn’t want to talk about the details. I respected that.”

“The paper also said—”

“Enough!” I pushed my chair back and stood. “Alaina, you know I love you, but I came to work to escape all the craziness.”

“I’m sorry. I just thought you’d—”

“Don’t think. Please. That’s the last thing I need.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “I didn’t mean to make you feel any worse.”

“I don’t think anything could make me feel any worse. I just want the reporters to go away.”

“I take it you don’t want me putting any more calls through?”

“Only if it’s business. Someone from Hewlett-Packard is supposed to phone me about that color copier, so if he calls, put him through right away. And anyone calling about confirmed bookings or enquiries, naturally. Everyone else, bump to voice mail.” This way, I could open my phone line up again and have Alaina screen my calls. I didn’t want to have to avoid the phone in my place of work.

“All right,” she said.

As soon as she was out the door, I locked it behind her. I had come in to work to avoid the shit I’d have had to deal with if I’d stayed at home. I wanted to lose myself in work, forget all about the real world and my problems for at least a few hours.

I went back to my desk, hoping to do just that.

chapter eight

I stayed locked in my office until after five that evening, having only a granola bar I’d found in my desk for lunch. By the end of the day I was starving, but staying inside had been a smart move, because when I finally ventured downstairs, the camera crews had gone.

I grinned widely. Thank God, they’d finally given up.

There were also no camera crews lining the entrance to my condo. Either the reporters had realized I was never going to speak to them, or the building management had asked them to leave, or a bigger story had broken sometime during the day.

Whatever the reason, I was grateful.

I was in a much better mood than the previous night when I went to Carla’s apartment, feeling for the first time since the news of Eli’s murder that I was going to get through this all right.

I did have to make sure I called the police—something I had been putting off all day. And I also had to search the condo for the name of Eli’s lawyer. There would be a funeral to plan, but I’d watched enough crime shows to know that couldn’t happen until the medical examiner released Eli’s body. Though the cause of death seemed clear, there was always an autopsy to be absolutely sure.

Calling the police and searching for Eli’s lawyer were tasks I could deal with tomorrow, I told myself, the sudden calm after the media storm making me want to put all things negative out of my mind.

As soon as I got to Carla’s door and she opened her mouth to speak, I said, “Not one word about Eli, okay? I don’t want to think about him right now.”